u/STARCADE2084

Wow, what a mouthful of a name…and a tasty one at that! It’s all chemicals, no real fruit juice in it and no sugar, obviously. The prevalent flavor is “guava” which is just fine with me, though because there’s no juice in there it’s the consistency of an energy drink, nothing thick and/or pulpy with it. But, again, that’s fine. If I wanted a proper juice I’d go buy a carton of POG! This Rockstar, however, I can definitely recommend for a bit of tropical taste with your sugar-free energy drink.

Found at my local Sprouts. They have a weird aftertaste, my gal didn't dig 'em but I'm fine with them, aftertaste and all.

Found at my local Safeway.

3 cases just set out on the shelf and seemingly forgotten, left sealed though customers had already gotten into them.

Let’s get this out of the way: I typically don’t like berry-flavored drinks. I find they taste very candy-like and generic, like Sweet Tarts or those old Bottle Caps candies. Yeah, the chalky ones. Anyhoo, because of that I tend to avoid those kinds of flavors. However, after the surprise success of the “Rockstar Pina Colada” I decided to give this a shot. Not gonna lie, the purple can design was an eye-catcher, too.

Cracking it open it had a strong blackberry smell. Based on this, already, I knew I’d chosen wisely. Taking a sip I noticed despite it being carbonated the fizziness seemed to be at a minimum, which seemed fine. I’m not sure I would’ve liked it more bubbly. The flavor was surprisingly blackberry, not the generic berry-ish I mentioned above. What’s surprising is that Rockstar is able to dial this in with no actual juice in it (yep, 0% juice in here!)

So, if you’re needing a tasty pick-me-up look for the purple can!

Now, I do love me a orange cream popsicle. They’re sweet, tangy, creamy, they’re delicious!

This flavor of Ghost, however? Nope!

It’s faintly orang-ish, slightly creamy-esque but, man, is it laced with the fake sugars aftertaste! I knew, going in, that it’s a sugar-free flavor (I think all the Ghosts are) but that usually is fairly well hidden with the flavors. At least, in my experiences with the brand. Not Orange Cream. This tasted like licking a sheet of asbestos with an orange Tic-Tac in your mouth. Not only do I NOT recommend this flavor, I'm giving it the official Seal of Disappointment™.

Y’know what’s loco? The mix of juices (16%) in this one! Mango, guava, white grape, apple, pineapple, apricot, peach, orange, passionfruit, and lemon…it’s a cornucopia of flavors! For me, I find this works exceptionally well as sometimes straight mango juice can smell rotten, which this Juice Monster definitely doesn’t. Plus, it’s not a thick, pulpy juice (nothing wrong with pulp) so it goes down smoothly with a breakfast cheese toasty.

Normally these come in a pack of 4 though my gal could only find single cans on her recent trip to TJ’s.

Full disclosure, it's been awhile (cue STAIND), but I've had these before. And lemme just cut to the chase: they're damned tasty!

First off, it contains orange juice. In fact it's 5% juice so you know what THAT means?! That's right, it's good for you…this tonic…it's good…for you…

Anyhoo, it's sparkling, which gives it a nice fizzy zip, and there is cane sugar in it but only enough to take the edge off, it's not overly sweet at all. And the tasty mix of espresso and orange juice is perfect: not too tangy, not too bitter.

Overall, this may be the perfect alternative to that first cuppa coffee when you roll outta bed. What, you don't have a bedside coffee maker?! No, YOU'RE weird!

But, I digress. Trader Joe's does say this is a limited time offering so I definitely wouldn't snooze on these. No, no, you don't need to collect ‘em all, that's a different bit we do around here.

So get to your local TJ’s today and be sure to let me know what you think of them!

Sometimes you need to chug a Monster so fast you don't get the chance to first take an artsy pic!

A perfect blend of apple and pear juices with a hint of spice. Ice cold and smooth to chug, it's a perfect mid-day hit when you need a little juice from your juice.

How have I never had this flavor?! There's a sweet, lightly citrus scent which carries onto the flavor perfectly. Is it pineapple? Grapefruit? A mix of the two?! Its own unique mystery fruit that lives only on the Monster labs?!

I don't know but what I do know is that this flavor is perfection and will now be on regular rotation in my fridge!

...don't mind if I do!

It had a charred exterior with a ribbon of cheese running through it and a bit of spice. Absolutely delicious and nice to see it's made with a different hot dog than just being a condiment change from their Chicago Style. Will definitely get this again!

...at least that's what I think these dual bookmarks might've meant. What I *do* know is The Ramones were an amazing band that I regret never getting to see play while they were still around.

...I do love me some passion fruit, ripe and picked straight off the tree while a cool Hawaiian island breeze blows through the leaves. It's a flavor that can't be beat!

Unfortunately, this flavor of Monster Energy is nowhere near it. The flavor is off-putting from the first sip, like you've mistakenly taken a swig off your auntie’s favorite Glade plug-in. Nope, that's the Ultra Wild Passion you're tasting. I will reluctantly give it credit for the flavor masking the fake sugar aftertaste but that's hardly a win.

This one, for me, is a definite thumbs-down. It's a pretty can that's best left on the shelf.