u/Sad-News3530

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy for marriage who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a halal dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

I could really use some perspective from people who’ve been in a similar situation.
I’m talking to a guy who honestly checks every box for me, and then some. We met on a dating app, we’re long-distance, and things have been going really well. During the first week, I told him I have alopecia totalis. I don’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He was incredibly kind about it and said it wasn’t an issue because he felt we had a genuine connection.
His response reassured me, but I’m still scared.
I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I keep wondering what it’s actually like for people with alopecia or similar conditions to be in one.
One thing I can’t stop thinking about is the little everyday moments. I love wearing makeup, and it gives my face more contrast. Without it, I don’t think I look ugly, but I do feel like I look unwell, which makes sense given my condition. I’m nervous about things like waking up next to someone for the first time with no makeup, no eyebrows, no lashes..just me.
How did you navigate those fears? Did they ever go away? If you’re the partner of someone with alopecia, what was your experience like? And for anyone who has a visible condition, how did you learn to feel comfortable being fully seen by someone you cared about?
I’d really appreciate honest experiences, whether they’re encouraging or challenging. I just want to know what real life looks like.

In a perfect world you’d be on the next flight here, at my door step, you’d say you’re sorry you fucked up, you’d steal my first kiss.. and perhaps my breath…
We’d be married and I’d give you all the things you’re missing.
In a perfect world I’d wake up cuddled up next to you, I’d trace your skin and wake you up with a naughty BJ and ride you until we’re both drained.. you fill the tub, lather me up and kiss my back, we’d wear our robes and I’d put on our jazz playlist making breakfast together..
In a perfect world we’d have our twins, a boy and a girl, and they’d grow up knowing what love is..
In a perfect world I’d have my happy ending…
I’d have you..

I hate that I think about you every minute, I hate that I miss you… every time I open my phone I check if you’ve sent a message… but silly me, why would you? We were just “friends” as you said.. and now we’re nothing

Amy Winehouse was playing and the song **wake up alone** came up.. I broke down in tears, I wanted to reach out but my anxiety and sadness spiked trying to articulate what I feel.. and then I realized it’s useless, cause for you I was nothing but a private whore..

I wish I never met you

I hate that I think about you every minute, I hate that I miss you… every time I open my phone I check if you’ve sent a message… but silly me, why would you? We were just “friends” as you said.. and now we’re nothing

Amy Winehouse was playing and the song **wake up alone** came up.. I broke down in tears, I wanted to reach out but my anxiety and sadness spiked trying to articulate what I feel.. and then I realized it’s useless, cause for you I was nothing but a private whore..

I wish I never met you

Heyy.. so I’m currently working on digitalizing my physical portfolio, however I don’t want it to lose the interactive part of it.
So my physical portfolio is mad of a hard cover case that contains multiple booklets to my projects, it has cutouts and some transparent pages which websites like flipsnack, heyzine, Rayon, and Fliphtml fails to create.
I tried telling figma’s ai the concept and it kinda understood it and generated something to show me but I have 0 experience with it.
Any idea how I can make this come to life?

Heyy.. so I’m currently working on digitalizing my physical portfolio, however I don’t want it to lose the interactive part of it.
So my physical portfolio is mad of a hard cover case that contains multiple booklets to my projects, it has cutouts and some transparent pages which websites like flipsnack, heyzine, Rayon, and Fliphtml fails to create.
I tried telling figma’s ai the concept and it kinda understood it and generated something to show me but I have 0 experience with it.
Any idea how I can make this come to life?

I’m a Muslim woman in my early twenties, and I have Alopecia Universalis.
For anyone unfamiliar with it, it’s an autoimmune condition where my immune system attacks my hair follicles, causing complete hair loss. I don’t have hair on my scalp, eyebrows, or anywhere else on my body. It’s not contagious, it’s not cancer, and it doesn’t affect my health or ability to have children. The main impact is how I look.

What hurts me isn’t actually the condition anymore. I’ve learned to live with it, What hurts is my own family.
The women in my family have told me, more than once, that I shouldn’t expect to get married because no man would want a woman who looks like me. They say they’re “protecting” me, but it feels like they’ve already decided my future.
What’s even more painful is that whenever someone expresses interest in getting to know me for marriage, my family rejects them before I even know about it. They don’t ask me. They don’t tell me. They don’t let me decide whether I want to meet the person. They simply assume no one could genuinely accept me, so they close the door themselves.
I feel like I’m being denied the chance to make one of the biggest decisions of my life, something I dreamt of having since childhood.

Islam teaches us that rizq, including marriage, comes from Allah, and we are supposed to value character and deen above appearances. Yet the people closest to me make me feel like my worth begins and ends with my hair.

I’m not asking whether every man would be okay with marrying someone with alopecia. I know everyone has preferences, and that’s completely fair.

What I’m struggling with is this, Is it Islamic for my family to reject potential suitors on my behalf without even asking me? Is it fair to tell me that I shouldn’t even hope for marriage because of a medical condition that I never chose?

Has anyone here experienced something similar, either personally or with a family member? I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts, especially if you’ve navigated disability, chronic illness, or visible differences in the Muslim marriage process.

Please keep me in your du’as. This has been weighing on my heart for a long time.

My body went numb after reading those words:

“I’m also concerned a little that you might be getting too attached in the wrong way. We’re just friends.”

I don’t remember when my eyes started filling with tears. I don’t remember deciding to sleep, or how long I stayed there. I only remember waking up with burning eyes and a body that still felt numb, as if the message had reached somewhere deeper than my mind.
I kept asking myself the same questions over and over.
Why?
Why did you quietly conquer every thought I had?
Why did falling asleep to your voice make me feel safe?
Why did your smile become enough to change the course of my day?
Why did making you laugh, making you happy, giving you moments of joy bring me a strange kind of fulfillment, as if your happiness had become intertwined with mine?
Why could I suddenly picture a life so vividly? Making love to you and it feeling like the purest form of closeness. Having your children. Kissing you goodbye before work. Listening to you unload the weight of your day when you came home. Learning your favorite meals and desserts just to watch your face light up. Meeting your family and loving them as if they had become mine. Watching our cats become friends. Growing old through ordinary Tuesdays that somehow never felt ordinary.

How did my imagination build an entire home around someone who was never building one with me?
And the hardest question of all… how can someone occupy so much space inside me while I exist as so little inside their world?
To you, I was a friend. A name on a screen. A chat bubble that appeared when your phone lit up.
To me, you had quietly become home.. a place that I never had growing up and will never be able to get.

This wasn’t just attraction. It wasn’t infatuation alone. It was the first time I had ever caught myself instinctively imagining a future with someone, one built from mundane rituals instead of grand gestures. I wasn’t dreaming about weddings or fairy tales. I was dreaming about grocery lists, sleepy mornings, shared responsibilities, inside jokes, and the comfort of simply existing beside you,and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

I had unknowingly fallen in love with a future that only ever existed in one heart.

I wish I never had that “I’m healed and I believe I can be loved despite my alopecia, despite what my mom has told me and what my dad showed me” stage…. Then I would’ve never stumbled upon you.
I wish I was still holding my softness with that made up tough facade that told everyone she doesn’t believe in marriage, the one that thought men are scary creatures that abuse and take and take without ever giving.
I wish you would make me hate you, cause even though your text and your pulling away broke me into pieces, I still understand how genuine it is, that you don’t want to hurt me.
My mind keeps telling me he thinks you’re ugly…. why would he love a bald girl?… he thinks you’re boring… he thinks you’re stupid…. he doesn’t like your body enough…
And it keeps wishing you would slap it with these words so it can go back to what it was before.

you were my first, and I think you will be the last… I don’t want to try this anymore, I was happy with my lonely misery not knowing what love is. I don’t want to dive deeper into it and be wounded again.

My body went numb after reading those words:

*“I’m also concerned a little that you might be getting too attached in the wrong way. We’re just friends.”*

I don’t remember when my eyes started filling with tears. I don’t remember deciding to sleep, or how long I stayed there. I only remember waking up with burning eyes and a body that still felt numb, as if the message had reached somewhere deeper than my mind.
I kept asking myself the same questions over and over.
Why?
Why did you quietly conquer every thought I had?
Why did falling asleep to your voice make me feel safe?
Why did your smile become enough to change the course of my day?
Why did making you laugh, making you happy, giving you moments of joy bring me a strange kind of fulfillment, as if your happiness had become intertwined with mine?
Why could I suddenly picture a life so vividly? Making love to you and it feeling like the purest form of closeness. Having your children. Kissing you goodbye before work. Listening to you unload the weight of your day when you came home. Learning your favorite meals and desserts just to watch your face light up. Meeting your family and loving them as if they had become mine. Watching our cats become friends. Growing old through ordinary Tuesdays that somehow never felt ordinary.

How did my imagination build an entire home around someone who was never building one with me?
And the hardest question of all… how can someone occupy so much space inside me while I exist as so little inside their world?
To you, I was a friend. A name on a screen. A chat bubble that appeared when your phone lit up.
To me, you had quietly become home.. a place that I never had growing up and will never be able to get.

This wasn’t just attraction. It wasn’t infatuation alone. It was the first time I had ever caught myself instinctively imagining a future with someone, one built from mundane rituals instead of grand gestures. I wasn’t dreaming about weddings or fairy tales. I was dreaming about grocery lists, sleepy mornings, shared responsibilities, inside jokes, and the comfort of simply existing beside you,and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

I had unknowingly fallen in love with a future that only ever existed in one heart.

I wish I never had that “I’m healed and I believe I can be loved despite my alopecia, despite what my mom has told me and what my dad showed me” stage…. Then I would’ve never stumbled upon you.
I wish I was still holding my softness with that made up tough facade that told everyone she doesn’t believe in marriage, the one that thought men are scary creatures that abuse and take and take without ever giving.
I wish you would make me hate you, cause even though your text and your pulling away broke me into pieces, I still understand how genuine it is, that you don’t want to hurt me.
My mind keeps telling me he thinks you’re ugly…. why would he love a bald girl?… he thinks you’re boring… he thinks you’re stupid…. he doesn’t like your body enough…
And it keeps wishing you would slap it with these words so it can go back to what it was before.

you were my first, and I think you will be the last… I don’t want to try this anymore, I was happy with my lonely misery not knowing what love is. I don’t want to dive deeper into it and be wounded again.

Thursday, Jun.18.2026

My body went numb after reading those words:

“I’m also concerned a little that you might be getting too attached in the wrong way. We’re just friends.”

I don’t remember when my eyes started filling with tears. I don’t remember deciding to sleep, or how long I stayed there. I only remember waking up with burning eyes and a body that still felt numb, as if the message had reached somewhere deeper than my mind.
I kept asking myself the same questions over and over.
Why?
Why did you quietly conquer every thought I had?
Why did falling asleep to your voice make me feel safe?
Why did your smile become enough to change the course of my day?
Why did making you laugh, making you happy, giving you moments of joy bring me a strange kind of fulfillment, as if your happiness had become intertwined with mine?
Why could I suddenly picture a life so vividly? Making love to you and it feeling like the purest form of closeness. Having your children. Kissing you goodbye before work. Listening to you unload the weight of your day when you came home. Learning your favorite meals and desserts just to watch your face light up. Meeting your family and loving them as if they had become mine. Watching our cats become friends. Growing old through ordinary Tuesdays that somehow never felt ordinary.

How did my imagination build an entire home around someone who was never building one with me?
And the hardest question of all… how can someone occupy so much space inside me while I exist as so little inside their world?
To you, I was a friend. A name on a screen. A chat bubble that appeared when your phone lit up.
To me, you had quietly become home.. a place that I never had growing up and will never be able to get.

This wasn’t just attraction. It wasn’t infatuation alone. It was the first time I had ever caught myself instinctively imagining a future with someone, one built from mundane rituals instead of grand gestures. I wasn’t dreaming about weddings or fairy tales. I was dreaming about grocery lists, sleepy mornings, shared responsibilities, inside jokes, and the comfort of simply existing beside you,and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

I had unknowingly fallen in love with a future that only ever existed in one heart.

I wish I never had that “I’m healed and I believe I can be loved despite my alopecia, despite what my mom has told me and what my dad showed me” stage…. Then I would’ve never stumbled upon you.
I wish I was still holding my softness with that made up tough facade that told everyone she doesn’t believe in marriage, the one that thought men are scary creatures that abuse and take and take without ever giving.
I wish you would make me hate you, cause even though your text and your pulling away broke me into pieces, I still understand how genuine it is, that you don’t want to hurt me.
My mind keeps telling me he thinks you’re ugly…. why would he love a bald girl?… he thinks you’re boring… he thinks you’re stupid…. he doesn’t like your body enough…
And it keeps wishing you would slap it with these words so it can go back to what it was before.

D… you were my first, and I think you will be the last… I don’t want to try this anymore, I was happy with my lonely misery not knowing what love is. I don’t want to dive deeper into it and be wounded again.

Thursday, Jun.11.2026
I got myself flowers wishing that you were the one who gave them to me, the florist asked “do you want a card?” And I simply said “who writes a card for themselves?”, he looked at me bittersweet “yeah alot of customers get flowers for themselves” , internally I knew he was thinking alot of customers bought flowers but never received any… and probably would never get to.

I’m mentally incapable of thinking that a girl like me deserves you… or any other for that matter. I mean have you seen me? Cause when I see me I don’t think I’m pretty or feminine, who wants to wake up to a girl like me for the rest of their lives? Even I don’t wanna do that

The closest thing to a marriage and intimacy that I would ever get is this, just the video calls that we started doing less and less after realizing that I’ve been really delusional for believing that I could ever deserve it, I’m pulling away, maybe not so gently, and maybe I’m selfishly hurting you without realizing, but I can’t pretend that hearing you talk about her like you still love her doesn’t hurt me, I accepted the role of the other woman so willingly without realizing that it would get to a point were my heart is shattered to pieces knowing it’s never me.

you deserve alot better, you waited this long, and I’m not the type of girl that’s gonna be what’s worth waiting for. I’m probably the girl that you and other couple of guys want to lay down but never settle for. Regardless I think I love you, it’s gonna hurt more now but I can’t help it.

Thursday, Jun.11.2026
I got myself flowers wishing that you were the one who gave them to me, the florist asked “do you want a card?” And I simply said “who writes a card for themselves?”, he looked at me bittersweet “yeah alot of customers get flowers for themselves” , internally I knew he was thinking alot of customers bought flowers but never received any… and probably would never get to.

I’m mentally incapable of thinking that a girl like me deserves you… or any other for that matter. I mean have you seen me? Cause when I see me I don’t think I’m pretty or feminine, who wants to wake up to a girl like me for the rest of their lives? Even I don’t wanna do that

The closest thing to a marriage and intimacy that I would ever get is this, just the video calls that we started doing less and less after realizing that I’ve been really delusional for believing that I could ever deserve it, I’m pulling away, maybe not so gently, and maybe I’m selfishly hurting you without realizing, but I can’t pretend that hearing you talk about her like you still love her doesn’t hurt me, I accepted the role of the other woman so willingly without realizing that it would get to a point were my heart is shattered to pieces knowing it’s never me.

you deserve alot better, you waited this long, and I’m not the type of girl that’s gonna be what’s worth waiting for. I’m probably the girl that you and other couple of guys want to lay down but never settle for. Regardless I think I love you, it’s gonna hurt more now but I can’t help it.