u/SettingAgreeable781

I never really been liked by anyone. Romantically or friendly. But… I have had a lot of people who were nice to me because they felt bad for me. So most likely, if I ever get sex or a kiss it would probably be because someone feels bad for me. Is it possible to be offered pity sex or a pity kiss without manipulating someone? I think the date I went on was a pity date. At the very least she told me she only became friends with me because she felt bad that I had no friends. And she did also try to kiss me but I panicked at backed away so if pity kisses are bad I think that technically doesn’t count. If pity sex/ a pity kiss requires being a manipulative person, then I’m just gonna reject any offer I get for a kiss or sex, since it’s very likely it’s out of pity.

I really want to do stuff with my friends. I have friends, but I never see them outside of work or texting. And I do regularly invite them to things I think they’d be interested in, or things they have shown interest in. But they always say no, and never invite me to do stuff. To be clear when I say never, I mean never. As in not at all. Not rarely, never. Not once have I successful invited someone out or been invited out in over 3 years. I dont know why that’s so hard for people to understand. But don’t mean rarely, I mean never. I didn’t even get anyone to go to my birthday party.

it’s not like they’re people I don’t know, we have good conversations regularly, both in person and texting. They put effort into conversations, and show they do like talking to me. They’re just always too busy or not interested in spending time with me. So I’m wondering, what are the rules of inviting someone out? How well do I have to know them? How do I invite them out? And likewise, what are the rules of being invited out?

I’m at an age where about 95% of women my age have kissed, but I have not. So they’re going to have expectations that I will not be able to meet. Which is perfectly reasonable and understandable, I don’t fault them at all. But I’m worried that if I do ever get a chance at dating again, my lack of experience will cause me to be rejected. But by being rejected I won’t be able to get enough experience to satisfy a woman while kissing? What do I do? I’m terrified of ruining the few opportunities I will have

Something I’ve heard is that for women dating and friendships are very separate things, and that’s one of the reasons women dislike male friends asking them out. For me personally, the qualities I want in a friendship are the same as a relationship, other than physical attractiveness, and being more picky for a relationship. Do you have certain qualities you’d want in a relationship, but not a friendship, or vice versa? Obviously not including distinctly dating stuff like intimacy.

Time to put on the tin foil hat. To be clear I don’t entirely believe this, but I think it’s possible.

Sometimes I wonder if dating apps have marks, like criminals. Considering big tech knows everything about us and is listening to us 24/7, I wonder if dating apps will mark profiles they know as desperate, and intentionally not show them to get them to pay for subscriptions. But maybe this is just copium cause I have bad photos 🫠

Realistically, how many chances will i have at forming a relationship in college? I have to be very very careful, because I will have an extremely low success rate because I’m an unattractive male with poor social skills. But asking too many people out will make me a loser and a creep and a male who bothers women. Due to my low social status I assume I will not be welcome at parties, so clubs are my only opportunity. I can’t ask too many people out within one club or I will be a creepy loser. So how many opportunities will I get? I have to make sure I make the most of the few opportunities that I get.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I’ve never successfully identified flirting. 100% of the times I’ve been flirted with I later learned was platonic, meanwhile the one time I’ve been flirted with I had no idea until she told me. I always hear women complain, justifiably so, about men who mistake basic kindness for flirting. But I also imagine it’s trusting for genuine flirting to go under the radar. So which is better? If I suspect a woman is flirting with me, should I assume they are or are not flirting until they directly tell me?

I don’t mean talking, or getting to know. I literally mean meeting women my age at all. All of my hobbies are either solo, or extremely male dominated. Everytime I do any social activity, there is absolutely no one, men or women, close to my age. Dating apps don’t work. I’m not super ugly, but I can’t smile and I don’t have anyone to take pictures of me. What do I even do at this point? I’d like to have one relationship over the summer before I go to college.

I’m a male who is not capable of smiling on purpose. It always comes out gross and unsettling. So I’d like to get women’s feedback on what makes a male’s smile good. To be clear this is for flirting/dating.

I don’t know how to smile intentionally. I can’t intentionally make a good smile, which is causing me to have zero chances at dating. Women show signs of discomfort when I attempt to smile at them. And don’t tell me to just do it. I need real, actionable advice to have a natural looking smile.

God fucking damn it this sucks. I hate not being able to smile. I hate looking like a psychopath serial killer when I smile. Maybe id be lucky enough to get any matches or have women smile at me if I had the ability to smile. And anytime I try to get any fucking advice, ifiots are just like “just smile” LIKE THAT WOULD HELP! Gee, I never thought of that. Too bad my eyes look depressed no matter what I do. GOD I FUCKING HATE MY FUCKING FACE.

Ugh. I’m not a particularly good looking guy. But I’m really stuck between wanting to dress nicer for dating apps, and dressing how I want to dress. How I want to dress is intentionally eclectic and chaotic. But that’s just not what women want. All the advice I get changed how I want to dress instead of improving it. Feels like being myself is a great way to be ignored.

I don’t get it. I feel like I say one wrong thing, do one wrong thing outside of the expected rules of socialization, and they want nothing to do with me anymore. I’ve never had friends who were willing to forgive me violating the social rules. Genuinely every single friend I’ve had has ditched me after one small mistake. Is it possible to make friends who are willing to forgive me violating these social rules? Or do I just have to make sure I always follow every social rule?

I’m 19. Where on earth do I meet anyone my age? Everywhere i go it’s all people 30+. I’ve gone to pinball leagues, barcades, gardening events, writing classes. The only place I saw people my age was at an outdoor concert, but there’s was no one my age who showed signals of being open to being approached.

I hate any form of skincare. The slippery and slimy texture of lotions and creams makes me want to peel my skin off. It’s absolutely disgusting to me. The only reason I’d ever consider it is because it’s really common advice for men to get a romantic relationship. I’m happy with my skin. I find it’s good enough for me. That being said, would it be wrong if I stated doing skin care only because it would increase my chance of getting a date?

Help. I have no clue what the heck flirting even is. Obviously I know it’s giving little hints that you want someone to ask you out on a date. But like, what are the signs of flirting? I’ve had a girl straight up ask me out but I haven’t been able to identify flirting from her even looking back. And don’t give me some crap about “knowing the signs when you see them”. I was barely socialized as a child and as embarrassing as it is I’m like a 12 year old boy who just discovered kissing girls isn’t gross. Between lack of skills and lack of confidence, plus all the horror stories from women about men mistaking kindness for flirtation, has led me to a mindset of anything short of asking me on a date or saying they want to have sex with me is being friendly.

I’m looking to try out dating apps soon. Right now I don’t really want to find someone to commit to someone long term. Just want to go on dates, get my first kiss, have sex, have some fun with someone, and get some dating experience to make up for my extreme lack of dating skills. At the most until the end of summer when I go to college. So as a below average guy (that’s not a lack of confidence that’s just an honest assessment, I’m not very desirable romantically), is it difficult to get a causal relationship? I don’t know if it’s unreasonable but I want some casual but exclusive and committed. When I say casual I just mean short term.

I’ve been on one date in my life. She was super forward and flirty the whole date, basically the entire time she pressed her exposed cleavage against my arm. And she was very touchy and flirty in general. So later in the car I asked her if I could touch her chest. She said yes. I asked if I could touch her breast under her shirt and she also said yes. The next day she told me she didn’t want me touching her in the car.
Edit: The way she phrased it seemed like she didn’t want it at the time.

If I read the hints, and I ask for permission first, and I still get it wrong, what I am supposed to do? If I ever get the opportunity to go on a date again, I’m never going to touch them in any way. I’d much rather someone reject me for being too cold than being too touchy.

I don’t have any experience taking pictures of myself. Just never had a reason to. A lot of advice I see online has friends take pictures of myself, which isn’t an option. It also doesn’t help I feel embarrassed taking pictures of myself in public.

The other issue I have is making a pleasent facial expression. My resting face is often times an unpleasant expression. And I don’t know how to smile in a way that looks genuine. I can do naturally, but not intentionally. So this sounds crazy, but how do I smile intentionally?