u/Shameful_success

I (F29) work with a guy (M34) and I genuinely can’t tell if there’s a vibe between us or if we just get along really well and I’m reading too much into it.

We’ve worked together for a little while now (9 months) but over the last couple of months or so there’s been a noticeable increase in interaction. He’s somewhat reserved, career-focused, not the type who seems flirty with everyone (though I’ve noticed he can come across a bit flirty with other girls at work when he’s bantering with them).

A few things that have happened:

- he started messaging me outside of work more often (Instagram, Slack etc.)
- he’s suggested checking out random places together during lunch breaks a few times which we’ve done, just us
- we ended up walking home together after work drinks even though he detoured to walk me closer to my place - he also initiated a bit of contact when he asked me to feel how warm he was (before lending me his jacket, though it didn’t FEEL romantic - it still felt a bit shy from both of us)
- he’ll randomly send me links/videos/games and continue conversations after work hours
- recently he brought up a movie multiple times over a few days, then later messaged me asking if I’d want to go to the cinemas with him to watch the film

What confuses me is:
- he can be quite shy/awkward with me sometimes, especially with eye contact
- but I’ve also seen him banter easily with other women at work
- sometimes with me he almost seems more careful/self-conscious than smooth, though other times he’s more comfortable and warm

There have also been moments where I thought the vibe was obvious, then other times where I convince myself I imagined the whole thing and we’re just becoming friends.

For context, neither of us have been overtly flirty and it’s a workplace environment (though a relaxed one) so I think we’re both being cautious.

Does this sound like possible mutual interest / early dating energy to you, or could this realistically still just be friendship and rapport? And if you were me, would you just keep matching his energy and see where it goes, or try to clarify things more directly?

*edit** yes I DO like him, hence I’m thinking about it before I make any kind of move - I don’t want to be misreading the situation and to make both of our lives awkward as hell at work if it’s not reciprocated.

Thanks for all the words of advice :)

I (F29) work with a guy (M34) and I genuinely can’t tell if there’s a vibe between us or if we just get along really well and I’m reading too much into it.

We’ve worked together for a little while now (9 months) but over the last couple of months or so there’s been a noticeable increase in interaction. He’s somewhat reserved, career-focused, not the type who seems flirty with everyone (though I’ve noticed he can come across a bit flirty with other girls at work when he’s bantering with them).

A few things that have happened:

- he started messaging me outside of work more often (Instagram, Slack etc.)
- he’s suggested checking out random places together during lunch breaks a few times which we’ve done, just us
- we ended up walking home together after work drinks even though he detoured to walk me closer to my place - he also initiated a bit of contact when he asked me to feel how warm he was (before lending me his jacket, though it didn’t FEEL romantic - it still felt a bit shy from both of us)
- he’ll randomly send me links/videos/games and continue conversations after work hours
- recently he brought up a movie multiple times over a few days, then later messaged me asking if I’d want to go to the cinemas with him to watch the film

What confuses me is:
- he can be quite shy/awkward with me sometimes, especially with eye contact
- but I’ve also seen him banter easily with other women at work
- sometimes with me he almost seems more careful/self-conscious than smooth, though other times he’s more comfortable and warm

There have also been moments where I thought the vibe was obvious, then other times where I convince myself I imagined the whole thing and we’re just becoming friends.

For context, neither of us have been overtly flirty and it’s a workplace environment (though a relaxed one) so I think we’re both being cautious.

Does this sound like possible mutual interest / early dating energy to you, or could this realistically still just be friendship and rapport? And if you were me, would you just keep matching his energy and see where it goes, or try to clarify things more directly?

Understanding that cancer men can be dissuaded if they don’t feel emotionally held early on, what are some common signs of interest from Cancer men?

In short, I dated a cancer man for a few months late last year/early this year and ended things because I didn’t feel ready to date or for anything casual so soon after a break up - (for the record, I’m a Scorpio woman). He kept in contact and we have recently started seeing one another again. He lives far away but makes the effort to see me which is nice. I just can’t read him - he seems to have a lot going on under the surface, but lets on very little. The fact that he’s been persistent and consistent with me is obviously nice and a good sign, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s just looking for something casual. I want to ask him over text because I won’t see him for 2 weeks most likely, however I don’t want to scare him off.

So what signs do Cancer men give when they genuinely like a person versus are being kind/have mild interest in them?

Curious those of you who still drink alcohol on occasion (how often and how much), whether you still see decent progress from your fasting?

I rarely drink these days, only at events or occasions with friends who still drink a bit. I had a couple drinks (two glasses of wines) last week and will do the same this week and next - two of occasions are for work friends farewells, and another is catching up with a friend who drinks, so I plan to have a couple wines with her.

It’s been 2 months of 16-18 hour fasts at least 5 days a week and I’m struggling to see progress. I’m concerned if I drink alcohol it’ll set me back even more, which is VERY disheartening. Does anyone have experience seeing decent progress even with 2-3 drinks per week some weeks? Any tips or advice would be awesome to hear

I started fasting 16-18 hours 5-7 days a week about 2 months ago now. I’ve fasted regularly before in the past but took some time off due to advice from a naturopath. I’m wanting to lose 5kg total, and am currently 63.5kg (164cm) so I’m in a healthy range but I felt my best when I weighed 58kg.

Since fasting, I haven’t noticed any notable weight loss. The scale dropped a bit but then it just jumps back up again, even when I’m not nearing my period and there’s no hormonal madness to attribute it to. I feel I’m eating less and I’ve even been tracking my calories to see (I don’t love doing this but felt it would be insightful for a period). I’m eating about 1700 calories most days but I’m semi active (I run 6-10km per week, have a sedentary job but walk minimum 10k steps per day and although inconsistent, try to add 15-30 mins of solid strength training per week) and based on my TDEE my maintenance calories are about 2000-2100 per day.

What am I doing wrong? Should I cut even more, fast more etc.? I think snacking in the afternoon (a clean protein bar and sometimes those funday lollies which are only about 100 cals) might be holding me back but it’s a hard one to quit. I also enjoy a “healthy” chocolate or those stevia lollies after dinner most nights. Writing it out it sounds like I might need to quit those but it’s mentally a little tough and it feels like I should be able to lose the weight and keep the permitted I’m in a deficit ?

Permitted you’re both single and your workplace allows it, how attracted would you have to be to a co worker to consider dating them?

I’ve noticed in slightly uncomfortable (not necessarily in a bad way, it might just be slight nerves or anticipation) situations, people tend to yawn. The yawn isn’t exactly a real yawn, almost like the ghost of a yawn. Why is this?

I (30F) am trying to interpret a pattern of behaviour from a work friend (35M) and understand whether it’s just friendly rapport or something more.

There’s been a noticeable increase in chat over the past couple of weeks. We had a normal baseline level of friendliness before - I had a small crush on him but nothing major, and we chatted a bit back and forth, however lately there’s been a fair bit more chat and contact, inside and outside of work.

I started learning chess a couple months back - after he heard that, he picked it back up again too and it became a thread we spoke about. There’s been fairly consistent effort in that regard, however a couple of weeks ago he asked if I wanted to grab lunch with him, so we did. Generally at work, we all eat together in the office, so it was a little out of the ordinary to ask, but super nice. About a week later a small group of us from work went out for drinks (he wasn’t planning on going before I mentioned I was) and he and I walked home together afterwards as we live close by - he ended up taking a detour to walk me closer home, and gave me his jacket to wear. When we walked home the other night he also told me to check his temperature to confirm he was warm, so that I’d take his jacket - it felt like a body language cue I guess, testing the waters with some form of physical contact?

Since then there’s been consistent daily contact, texting, slack, chess games, Instagram etc. Although he likes my posts and stories on Instagram, I notice he does that with a lot of people, so I’m wondering if he’s just a chatty person with people online, and all this increased contact is him comfortable in our friendship, not a sign of anything greater.
He’s a bit reserved at first and although he can still act a bit nervous when we’re chatting, since going for lunch the other day, he’s been reaching out and messaging a lot more frequently, all about things non work related.

He’s warm and friendly once you get to know him and he does have a fair few female friends (he seems to get along with women well) so I’m unsure if I’m reading too much into his actions…

TLDR;
What body language cues generally indicate interest friendship ? Do things like increased proximity, initiating touch (slightly), follow-ups and chatting on consistent threads usually fall within a normal workplace friendship or are they signs of romantic interest?

Speaking in terms of a workplace dynamic or somewhere where you’re not dating and able to express your intentions clearly from the get go - what are some signs (intentional or otherwise) you tend to give when you like someone /have a crush? This is for any age! Preferably men in their 30s+ but anyone really.

I have a crush on a co worker (it’s a relaxed work environment so dating isn’t exactly an issue), and he’s giving a fair few signs that he likes me back, however it’s obviously hard to be sure. He’s started similar hobbies to me, keeps conversations going outside of work, makes an effort to be around me and as of late, to find one on one time to be together (which is generally uncommon at our work) and we’re sharing increasingly playful banter. We’re both single and a similar age (he’s 34 and I’m 29) but it’s obviously hard to tell if he’s just being friendly and a nice person or if he’s interested.

Any input on how you tend to show interest in someone, or how you notice other men show interest - consciously or unconsciously - would be great to hear!

I have a crush on a co worker, which is becoming mildly inconvenient. I suspect he also has a crush on me based on how he’s been acting (though you never know!). Our workplace is very relaxed, and dating wouldn’t be a problem from that lens, however, I know dating a co worker can become messy if it goes south.

Does anyone have any experiences dating a co worker - positive or negative? I know it’s always a shot in the dark, but I haven’t had a crush like this in many years, and I imagine if we keep talking and getting closer something could happen - I’m curious what peoples experiences have been dating their co workers?

Myself (26F) and my coworker (31M) get along pretty well, although we can both be shy at times - particularly him. I’m unsure whether I should make any kind of move, or if I’m misreading the situation.

Months back, he started learning French again after I mentioned I’d been learning it (could be coincidence) and has brought it up with me fairly often, occasionally sending Duolingo screenshots, making jokes about it or asking questions/for my notes, and recently started following me on Duolingo for a friend streak.

Some days I feel that he’s more shy and won’t look at me so much, but other times at lunch he’ll ask me questions and sort of redirect the conversation towards me when it’s a few of us left at the lunch table. The other day he recommended a store for me to check out near work (none of us really go out to other places during lunch, we eat lunch at work), and when he heard I visited the store, he suggested we go together some time.

I’m wondering if I should signal that I’m interested (knowing that he’s reserved and not the sort of person to make any bold moves), or whether all these signs could just be general workplace friendliness? Our work is very relaxed in terms of dating etc., no HR but it would be a mess if anything bad happened obviously. I find it fairly hard to tell whether he likes me beyond a work friend (we are both single for context), but I really like his energy and we seem to have fairly similar values and interests - so I’ve developed a bit of a work crush on him to be honest, and don’t exactly know how to navigate it. I’d hate to ask him out or make some kind of move and it not be reciprocated. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!

This guy I’ve been dating for a little while really doesn’t give me a lot of eye contact. When he’s speaking, he’s often looking to the side of my face and intermittently makes eye contact with me. It’s a little confusing to be honest because eye contact feels so important and as a result I don’t feel I can fully connect to him. I’m unsure if this is nerves and anxiety/ and if it will get better or if he just overall really struggles to look people in the eyes.

I initially figure it was anxiety/nerves but now I’m wondering if he’s possibly on the spectrum. He smoked a lot of weed up until recently as I mentioned I can’t see myself with someone who smokes daily or more. He makes a lot of effort with me but I still haven’t been able to break through to get to know him deeper. He’s also very reserved and a shy, and has mentioned that to me a few times - though when he speaks he really speaks - the conversation doesn’t exactly FLOW both ways super easily I suppose (I’m not one to talk about myself if I don’t know someone super well either).

Curious whether this is normal anxiety induced lack of eye contact or sounds like a bit more than that..

I’ve been seeing a guy again recently after we first went on a 5 dates which stopped just a few months ago (I was recently single so put the breaks on it). Things have picked up again and he’s been quite consistent with effort - he initiates contact, suggests plans, follows through, and has been quite affectionate (we’ve had sleepovers, breakfast plans, and he’s brought me small thoughtful things like honey from his work).

He also checks in about my day and seems engaged in conversation, but he’s quite laid-back in how he communicates and doesn’t explicitly say much about his feelings.

I’m trying to understand something more general from men’s perspectives:
When you really like a woman and there’s emotional depth there, do you tend to show it clearly through words and emotional expression as well as actions? Or can it sometimes just look like consistent effort and spending time together without much verbal or emotional depth?

Basically, I’m trying to understand whether some men are more understated emotionally even when they’re interested, versus when it’s more casual “enjoying someone’s company” energy.

Curious how it works for you.

I (29F) dated this guy (34M) for a couple/few months half a year ago. I ended things with him because I was recently out of a long term relationship at the time, and explained that I wasn’t ready for anything serious, nor did I feel comfortable with casual at that stage either. He was a bit hurt but handled it well, and gave me some space, however started messaging me again after some time (about a month ago).

When he reached out again recently, he dropped into conversation that he quit weed (I had mentioned to him I couldn’t see myself with someone long term who smoked daily, which he did) and has been fairly consistent at keeping in contact and wanting to take me out on dates. For the record, he lives a 2 hour drive away and always comes to see me, however he does have friends and occasionally work in my city as this is where he grew up too.

All in all he’s showing signs of someone who is interested I would say (before I ended things he let me know that he really liked me and was happy to take it as slow as I needed).

The only problem is, he struggles to keep it up during sex sometimes. Last time we slept together was the first time after we rekindled things - after 2 or more months off. The condom was too small which I think messed with it a bit, and he told me he wouldn’t be able to finish although he was respectful that I wanted to use a condom that time - admittedly we hadn’t been using them before.

I know there are many reasons for ED but I can’t help but feel it’s related to him not finding me attractive enough. I’ve gained about 4kg since switching birth control a year ago which I’m in the process of losing now (8.8lbs I think). I don’t feel as great in my body as I’d like to, so him not being able to finish or occasionally losing his erection has been a bit tricky to navigate. I respond in a way that takes pressure off and I don’t make a big deal out of it though I’m not sure what else to do. He often does finish and we’ve had really good intimate sex before (not sure if him being high was what made it better to be honest). I was fairly lean before I gained this weight - I still have a normal BMI but I have more weight around my hips and thighs, boobs and a bit around my tummy.

In all honesty - what causes you to have ED? Is it the woman you’re with and not finding them attractive enough physically or is it your own mental battle?

I (29F) dated this guy (34M) for a couple/few months half a year ago. I ended things with him because I was recently out of a long term relationship at the time, and explained that I wasn’t ready for anything serious, nor did I feel comfortable with casual at that stage either. He was a bit hurt but handled it well, and gave me some space, however started messaging me again after some time (about a month ago).

When he reached out again recently, he dropped into conversation that he quit weed (I had mentioned to him I couldn’t see myself with someone long term who smoked daily, which he did) and has been fairly consistent at keeping in contact and wanting to take me out on dates. For the record, he lives a 2 hour drive away and always comes to see me, however he does have friends and occasionally work in my city as this is where he grew up too.

All in all he’s showing signs of someone who is interested I would say (before I ended things he let me know that he really liked me and was happy to take it as slow as I needed).

The only problem is, he struggles to keep it up during sex sometimes. Last time we slept together was the first time after we rekindled things - after 2 or more months off. The condom was too small which I think messed with it a bit, and he told me he wouldn’t be able to finish although he was respectful that I wanted to use a condom that time - admittedly we hadn’t been using them before.

I know there are many reasons for ED but I can’t help but feel it’s related to him not finding me attractive enough. I’ve gained about 4kg since switching birth control a year ago which I’m in the process of losing now (8.8lbs I think). I don’t feel as great in my body as I’d like to, so him not being able to finish or occasionally losing his erection has been a bit tricky to navigate. I respond in a way that takes pressure off and I don’t make a big deal out of it though I’m not sure what else to do. He often does finish and we’ve had really good intimate sex before (not sure if him being high was what made it better to be honest). I was fairly lean before I gained this weight - I still have a normal BMI but I have more weight around my hips and thighs, boobs and a bit around my tummy.

In all honesty - what causes you to have ED? Is it the woman you’re with and not finding them attractive enough physically or is it your own mental battle?

More than 50% of weekends I won’t fast, just because I have plenty of social occasions which make it harder to do so, however during the week I’ll fast 16-18 hours. For those who skip fasts on the weekend (and are loose with what they eat aka a piece of cake, cheese and crackers etc. for social occasions) - have you noticed the weight loss is slow and harder than if you fasted every day? I’m trying to not be too hard on myself and to give myself a bit more freedom, however I’m nervous I’ll undo all my progress by not watching what and when I eat 2 days a week.