u/SkySnatch

Sorry if this isn’t 100% relevant to this sub, but even mentioning polyamory in any of the other subs really sets people off.

I (31F) made a friend (40M) a year ago and we became fast friends. Early on we definitely had that new friend energy where we talked or texted all day every day, and eventually that faded to talking about every other day but we’d occasionally talk on the phone for an hour just catching up. Also, he and his spouse are polyamorous (confirmed with his wife) but they don’t have other partners at the moment. There was definitely a mutual attraction between he and I we have both friendzoned each other and stick to being casually flirty because I’m monogamous and married.

About 2 months ago it was like a light switch flipped. He started being distant and holding me at arms length. Texts weren’t funny or flirty like they used to be, and the content of what we talked about was surface level at best. After checking in with him about it he claimed he didn’t want to take up my time, and said he was also trying to limit his time on his phone at home. He still called on occasion and initiated texts but they’d fade after an hour and I’d end up being left on read.

I finally called him out on it and he admitted his wife said she was uncomfortable with how often he was on his phone *at home* so he was trying to limit his phone use. We got on the same page and he said if we were talking and he needed to sign off that he’d let me know. It’s been weeks and he hasn’t used this plan once, partially because our conversations never last that long anyway. I’ve previously hung out with both him and his wife and she’s gotten to know me a little bit. We have a group chat with the 3 of us (her idea) and she and I text a little on the side too.

Now we go days between texts. I find that when we do talk a lot slips between the cracks and the vibe is off. I don’t feel comfortable texting him because I don’t want to be seen as a bother or clingy. I’m now grieving a friendship that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. It’s difficult to interact with him because I’m bitter and resentful, but I fear bringing it up and it pushing him away.

I understand our initial level of communication wasn’t sustainable, and definitely reflects the “new relationship energy” I’ve seen talked about in here. I’m not asking for us to have that NRE going forward, but I’d like for us to at least get back to the level of friendship we had a few months ago.

Can you help me understand how to navigate this from a different point of view?

I work a 4-7 days on and 3-4 days off schedule, sometimes longer and sometimes shorter. Is a red light panel worth it if I can’t travel with it, and therefore have to use it inconsistently?

I (31F) made a friend at work (40M) a year ago and we became fast friends. Early on we definitely had that new friend energy where we talked or texted all day every day, and eventually that faded to talking about every other day but we’d occasionally talk on the phone for an hour just catching up. Also, he and his spouse are polyamorous (confirmed with his wife) and there was a mutual attraction but we have both friendzoned each other and stick to being casually flirty.

About 2 months ago it was like a light switch flipped. He started being distant and holding me at arms length. Texts weren’t funny or flirty like they used to be, and the content of what we talked about was surface level at best. After checking in with him about it he claimed he didn’t want to take up my time on my days off, and said he was also trying to limit his time on his phone at home. He still called on occasion and initiated texts but they’d fade after an hour and I’d end up being left on read.

I finally called him out on it recently and he admitted his wife said she was uncomfortable with how often he was on his phone *at home* so he was trying to limit his phone use. We got on the same page and he said if we were talking and he needed to sign off that he’d let me know. It’s been weeks and he hasn’t used this plan once, partially because our conversations never last that long anyway.

Now we go days between texts. I find that when we do talk a lot slips between the cracks and the vibe is off. I don’t feel comfortable texting him anymore because I don’t want to be seen as a bother or clingy. I’m now grieving a friendship that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. I’ve also been going through a lot lately, and I’ve been managing feelings after a dream job rejection and insecurity in my current role and it’s compounding and affecting my mental health. It’s difficult to interact with him because I’m so bitter and resentful, but I fear bringing it up and it pushing him away.

Feel free to chime in with advice or commiseration. It all sucks.

Has anyone here with hooded eyes gotten Botox or Dysport and had a positive result without any brow or eyelid drooping?

I’m only 4 days after getting Dysport for my first time in my forehead, brows, and 11’s and I’m starting to notice that one eyelid is looking a bit more hooded than usual now that the tox is starting to settle in. I remember my injector, the MD and co-owner of the place, mentioning it would feel like I’d have a heavy brow for the first week or so, but I can’t remember if he said it would relax after that. He knew I didn’t want to drop my brows too much because of my eyes, so I’m trying to trust the process.

About a year ago I (29F) met someone (39M) who works for the same employer as me and we became fast friends. Some background, we are both married and have met each other’s spouses. We don’t work directly together and do not see each other on a daily basis. Starting off in the friendship we would text just about all day every day and when we had free time would talk on the phone for 1-2 hours regularly. There is zero romantic interest between us. He had a volunteer union rep position months ago that often kept him near his phone and on his toes, and I became a sound board for frustrations with the job. About 3 months ago his time in that position ended, and the whiplash I felt in how our communication changed is still affecting me. We went from talking all day every day to only exchanging a dozen half-assed texts every couple days. We both initiate conversation but it usually ends in him leaving me on read or giving me an answer I can’t respond to, so I drop the conversation. A month ago I reached out and asked if everything was alright and mentioned I noticed the vibes had changed, and he gave me the excuse that he was trying to give me time with my spouse on my days off, but this didn’t used to be the case before. He also stated he was trying to stay off his phone more at home and that’s the reason his responses were slower. Now over a month later we’re still in this awkward limbo of trying to communicate, but it’s reached the point where I can only be left on read mid-conversation so much before I don’t want to talk at all. My spouse and I have a joint trip planned with them in a month and we’ve communicated some about the details, so I know he still wants to be my friend. I’m just left confused and hurt and wondering if I was just emotional support in the past and now I’ve been dropped when I’m no longer needed.

I don’t want to have another check-in and seem like a clingy needy friend but I wish things were like how they were before. I’m also friends with his wife and I know she’s not the reason communication has slowed because I did ask about it.

Should I just stop responding? Have another check-in? Let things continue as they are and see how it goes?