u/Smart_Beginning763

Why are some jobs frowned upon if they're done by women? Soldiers, doctors, flight attendants, police officers, etc.

I work in the medical field, but I've been told it's a red flag. (I want to hear the opinions of both women and men.)

Girls or guys with strict parents: how do you handle dating? Do you usually tell your family right away that you're talking to someone, or do you only mention it after a while, once things get serious? In general, how do you approach your family that isn't very understanding about this?

Would you ever try to start a relationship with someone you consider out of your league(whether in terms of finances, looks, or whatever else) if you were truly interested in them? Or do you only seek out people you know are on your level and might therefore be more likely to say yes?

Some couples get married after just five or six months, but do they really know each other well enough? Given that we don't have the chance to live together before marriage, how can you truly understand your partner's character and hidden flaws?

Like...you get along well emotionally, but your interests are worlds apart. Maybe you’re lazy while he’s super active and loves the gym, or perhaps he hates reading and plays video games, whereas you have absolutely no interest in that.

I often hear that men living abroad have relationships with local women... but when it comes time to get married, they choose a woman from their home country because they are more "dutiful" and simple. Is this true, or is it just hearsay?

I can never seem to get ready for exams on time because of the way I organize things. Basically, either:

1- I underestimate how long things take: I might spend an hour on a single page, but for some reason, in my head, I think it’ll only take... 30 minutes, so I end up getting through just a third of what I’d planned.

2- I get anxious. When I see a packed study schedule (even a well-structured one), I get anxious and either don't start at all or can't stick to it. And yet, it’s the best approach for me. I don't know what to do; I keep making impossible plans that I fail to follow, even though having a plan is essential for me.

(I study in Europe, not America. My exams rely heavily on memorization, and I have to prepare for about two exams every two months. I’m a slow worker, so organization is crucial.)

Ci vuole poco a studiare sinceramente. E lo dico nonostante le difficoltà che ho (disturbo d'attenzione e iperattività) e il mio fuoricorso. Ci vogliono sì impegno, sì fatica, ma non serve neanche ammazzarsi e rinunciare a tutto.

Magari ci si può mettere più anni, magari si può bocciare molte volte un'esame, ma se ad una persona piace il suo cdl nonostante non sia particolarmente portato alla memorizzazione o al calcolo e impegnandosi ce la facesse comunque...che senso ha dirgli che magari non è portato e deve smettere?

Se uno si mette in mente di farlo e mette il culo sulla sedia impegnandosi (e magari fallendo pure un paio di volte perchè ha difficoltà), perchè dovrebbe smettere e rinunciare?

(Post/rant nato per via di numerosi commenti che ho visto sotto vari post qui sul sub. Vorrei sapere che ne pensate e se pensate che non è per tutti...argomentate il perchè)

I'm a girl who lives abroad, but I'd like to marry someone who has the same background as me and can "understand" me, so to speak. I don't want to marry someone from here because they're either too religious, or not at all...or they're just Christians/atheists.

I was looking for someone who's open-minded and religious. I don't know where to start, though. I go to Algeria for a few months every year, I have few friends there, and I don't have a circle of friends who could help me meet someone.

I don't want any arranged marriages from family, or even worse, I don't want to marry a cousin... so the options are limited. I wanted to try apps like Muzz, but I don't know how many Algerians actually use it, and I don't know if it only works here abroad, and it's a bit of a taboo there. I don't even think it's worth talking to any guy I meet on the street.

How do you generally approach others/where can you find potential partners?

I'm a young woman (23) and I'm currently living abroad in Europe. However, I'll likely return to Algeria one day because we bought a house there.

The fact is, my relatives would probably stay here, and I'm much more likely to return alone than anything else. I honestly have no intention of getting married (unless I find a child-free man with an open mind like the ones here in, but I honestly doubt it, lol), so I want to live alone there.

Is it possible to live a good life alone in Algeria? In the city, of course. I know it's a bit of a social taboo, and I'm not sure how much it would be worth to me.

P.s: No I wont accept marriage proposals on DM, reddit its the last social I would use for that

Sono stata diagnosticata da poco e ho comunque ancora le mie difficoltà. All'università mi sembra di essere sola, ci sono molti dsa ma dell'ADHD se ne sente poco parlare e mi sento un pò un pesce fuor d'acqua.

Ho problemi nell'organizzazione degli esami (non preparo mai nulla in tempo), la mia attenzione più o meno è decente (col metodo pomodoro) e la mia paralisi è stata ridotta da anni e anni di prove per trovare il metodo migliore per studiare...anche senza motivazione/voglia. Faccio una triennale sanitaria e al momento non sono medicata, ma sembra che il mio psichiatra voglia darmi farmaci.

Voi invece come vi organizzate? Come ve la cavate col metodo di studio, le lezioni ecc?

Non so com'è possibile che io sia arrivata in triennale (un'anno fuoricorso) in questo modo ma boh.

Non so studiare. Mi metto per mesi a studiare una materia e arrivo alla fine che si, l'ho studiata tutta ma non ricordo veramente niente alla fine se non faccio una ripetizione (che praticamente è un'altro studio) da capo.

Se studio e ripasso nello stesso giorno, ci impiego ore e studio veramente pochissimo se non un paio di paginette. Ho il vizio di studiare tutto (nei dettagli visto che sono tutte materie mnemoniche) e questo mi toglie tanto tempo. Ho un problema di distrazione ma comunque sono piuttosto diligente, studio ogni giorno, ma devo fare schemi perchè se leggo e basta non mi resta niente in testa e non riesco neanche a capire cosa c'è scritto.

In genere quindi: studio una prima volta (senza ripassare niente), poi alla fine prendo e ripasso tutto quello che ho fatto, mettendoci tempi mastodontici che mi portando ancora più fuoricorso. Sono un pò disperata perchè in anni di studio comunque non sono riuscita a sviluppare un metodo decente.

Voi come fate?

I don't know if it's trauma or something else, but essentially when my period is due and I'm out, or I don't have money to buy ibuprofen... I literally panic.

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That is, as soon as I see red, I start feeling sick, I get anxious, I vomit (it also causes gastrointestinal problems: I have to go to the bathroom right away and I often vomit), and I sometimes end up fainting even if I don't actually have severe cramps. I always start taking ibuprofen before my period arrives, and from taking it so much, I've even developed stomach sensitivity.

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This is due to a few situations where I've fainted in public places from the pain, and above all... having experienced certain situations where I couldn't even breathe because of the cramps, and I fainted/vomited so kuch that I had to go to the hospital. I don't know how to handle this. I should be evaluated for endometriosis, but the cost is high.

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If they gave me the pill or some other form of contraceptive, my parents wouldn't let me take it (I'm still a student and they're paying for it, but in a few months I'll have to finish, find a job, and do everything on my own.)

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Does this happen to other women, or am I just too scared?

The thing is, when I know I have a high chance of failing an exam, I don't even bother. It's like my brain freezes even more, and I become even more dysfunctional than I normally am.

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Some days I don't care, and other days I'm so anxious I can't even try to study.

And yet I still have to try because there's a 50/50 chance I'll pass.

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Plus, I can't help but think that I have at least 100 pages waiting for me, and my brain freaks out, as if I have to do them all that day for some reason. This leads me to see the pages I study/revise as just a chore, and I'm not happy about it at all, making everything worse.

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Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this situation?

I live abroad, but in the summer I always go down to visit my relatives in Algeria. I'm a girl and I don't have a car (but I do use taxis).

Every summer I go down there, I don't do anything, except go to the vegetable market or take a walk around my city. I don't know what other activities to do.

What can you recommend?

I don't know why it happens like this, but I don't feel anxious anymore. I know I might fail, I'm afraid I might fail, but I don't feel any anxiety that would make me start studying at 7 in the morning, giving me willpower.

It's like it doesn't matter to me, but it really matters to me. I don't feel anxious except the day before or the day itself, which literally sends me into a panic.

I feel like I'm mentally broken. Like I'm not reacting correctly to what is happening and my surroundings.

Does this happen to y'all too? I don't know if it's normal or not.

What method do you use to study efficiently? I know each method is personal, but I'm talking about memorization and very long subjects (I'm a nursing major).

Most of my exams are oral. If I study step by step and use Anki cards (active review) to study, it ends up taking me really, really long.

With this study method, I can only study 1-2 pages a day and repeat another 2-3.

If I study everything and then review later after finishing everything, it obviously takes me less time, but I simply have to study many parts from scratch. It seems like a vicious cycle.

How do you organize yourselves?

Am I the only one who feels this sense of futility when I study? I mean...it's basically as if my brain is already convinced that I can't do it/I won't pass, or that I'll never really study every day. Yet I study every day.

It's true that I have a poor memory, but in the end I get down to it, and as difficult as it is, I only have a few exams left, and I've passed all the others with flying colors. I don't know about you...but is this feeling of inability normal?

With ADHD, my self-esteem is low, but it's strange.

How do you deal with the fact that you're so slow or have such a hard time understanding things? I got a lot of compliments during my internship.

I was attentive to my work, well-prepared, I understood from my mistakes, and I learned quickly. I didn't have any particular problems, and my peers were satisfied.

But what about studying? It's taking me two and a half months to study for an exam that most people finish in about a month. It's all memorization, but they're "big books" (say, 150 pages), and by the time I'm studying, I've literally forgotten most things and have to go back over them.

I know I should accept the fact that I'm slow, but I wonder if it's right to go through all this effort just to be called "mediocre." I'm slow, I often don't understand what I read, I have to go back over it a thousand times, and it's a monumental effort.

I don't know how to handle the situation. I'm not on medication; at the moment, my psychiatrist prefers to do it that way. Yet, I'm really suffering mentally.