u/Spare_Night_2695

For me this is some late night thoughts but just came to my mind

Since ( should add context unmarried male ) , I was taught marriage is a partnership from my family . Both husband and wife work together to live a happy life . Doesn’t have to be strict gender rules , if it works for you it works .

But like saw the Hadiths which go against what I was taught . And to a certain point disagree with , cause it then feels like it can be exploited by abusive partners . I mean personally I would want my future wife to be free to do what ever she wants to do within the bounds of Islam , not feeling burdened to “obey “ me . I mean I’m pretty flexible if I end up marrying someone wanting a situation as a partnership or just traditional .

But I thought is it akin to obedience to parents , as long as it’s not going against Islam and not putting yourself at emotional or physical harm you have to ?

Or is it a more nuanced aspect . Like another line of thought which came to me as in the obedience part is you agreed to do so when your through the whole courtship process with the wali and meeting up with him . Like you wouldn’t obey someone you don’t respect and that courtship is to see if you respect him to obey him ? I mean I assume that might have been the case back then but not current .

Just want to know for the uk born and brought up lot .

Also the automod keeps deleting my post instantly so this is my 2nd time attempting

What’s the minimum I can do , just to follow the rules, I have no love for my parents nor care about them

Abusive parent , I would cut ties if Islam hadn’t made that rule , honestly hate that rule so much . Its caused my faith to go near 0 , but that’s another issue

I didn’t bomb my a levels bug a bunch of people I know did . They think it’s the end of the world , been trying to console them , but atp I’m just tired of them and helping

I know it’s not since I got people in my family who also bombed their a levels yet successful

Just want to see some success stories and just use this thread as proof life ain’t over for them

Just came to my mind

I’ve seen other subs say misogynistic men are mostly Natalist ( I don’t believe it ) .

I’m curious about here

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Just came to my mind reading another post saying hell isn’t permanent. So if that’s the case , what’s the benefit of practicing . More perks in jannah ext ?

I’m just wondering specifically for south Asians and Bengalis in the UK

Other nations aswell would be useful

I’m asking since I’m a man , but I’m not exactly this subs religious demographic from what I read . I’m a Muslim man and I have been wanting to find a tradewife in the UK who shares the same religion and beliefs as me

Feels like a very niche questions to ask

But I’ve got a few Turkish friends , they are Muslim practising but they do mention that Turkey is really liberal and most Muslims aren’t Muslim . Like their beliefs are the core belief and maybe Friday prayer . Nothing else .

And they reckoned Gen Z might be the first to be more atheist and agnostic than Islamic

They also say that you lot don’t like the diaspora . Esp the German Turks . Something related with politics they mentioned .

Should add I’m from the UK and Muslim myself

I think I’ve spent too much time on the progressive Muslim subreddit , I’ve seen on there a lot of interfaith marriages and relationships there

Would you do it

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It’s just crossed my mind

Like I’m from the UK , Bengali . Only have heard of a few instances from people I know . Never heard of a Muslima engage in it as far as I know

Just wanted to know how common it is , I assume barely .

I know a few Henry’s in Tech sales and they have repeated said they wished they could move to the US in a company internal transfer due to the much higher earnings there .

They say , same hours they do but get paid less . Idk much about tech sales cause I’m not in it .Henry myself but in let’s say creative industries .

Wonder what’s it’s like for others in other industries . Like medicine must be crushing to see the US based colleges 3-4x out earn you

Just seen on Reddit a lot of posts talk about how it’s important living on your own at once

Albeit most of them are from the women subreddits , didn’t find anything kf the equivalent for males

So I just wanted to ask

Also k specifically want to ask uk Bengalis only cause that’s most specifically relevant to me in the comments just as a side note for myself . Everyone feel free to and I want you , just want to see how others in my specific background has experienced it .

Although I do want everyone to answer , comments and poll

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I’ve read a fair few posts here and other sub Reddits for Muslim marriage that the husband or wife is describing not having intimacy satisfaction in their marriage .

How would you screen for that prior to marriage , given here I assume most are married . Like if you’re both virgins I wouldn’t expect you both to know .. Plus us Muslims are generally prudent regarding this . So like how do you approach this assuming you haven’t thought of it . You have and not sure if you potential will be calm with it ext .

Just some stuff that came to my mind , and i assume here might be the better place to ask

Like I mean genuinely sitting down and telling your parents you’re marrying someone outside of it , and willing to have that potentially awkward talk . And the arguments , and the potential blackmail . You get the gist of what I’m trying to say

Cause I see few people complain ,open to ethnicity , but ghost when it’s a certain one . Seen that a lot here people complaining about . No issue if you have a preference just state it and not string along other people from certain ethnic groups who may not be your type .

And Be nice in the comments please . I’ve had a few polls go to war . Just relax and remember online isn’t necessarily reflective of IRL .

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Why is weight mentioned so much ?

Like I get height , ethic group ext

But weight ??

Like at that point just say your BMI lmao .

Like me personally I won’t care if my future spouse is chubby , cause we all can work on fitness .

We all prob know from parents to friends ext when they got married at what age

Let’s see the most common age we see

Just put what you have seen and think ( as in you think the average from your irl experience , cause actually figuring it out , I’ll bet you don’t have the time to find out concretely) the most common age

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How are you going to afford it and how do you envision life working out

Based on my prev poll where it seems 50/50 for the men , 0 for the women willing to do polygamy

Just came to my mind since I know some people has posted ( more men than women though ) that they are willing and open to it

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Reading this sub , pretty sure most of us here are doing the usual corporate ladder as senior leadership , Finance and consulting ext . But is the most unique Henry’s have you met

For me it’s Pro esport gamer and Roblox Dev/ IT consultant .

I knew a guy in my secondary school who was a Fortnite pro for a few years and was clearing ~£200k annually , also had a YouTube channel with 500k suscribers . No longer a Henry now since he quit and is a PT with 10k followers on insta .

The Roblox dev guy he made 180k once when were in secondary , he used to never do it full time but always made 20-30k most years for 2 hours of work per day . Then started an IT consultant business using the links he garnered from his Dev days and launched an IT firm for a year and gained 150k in revenue ( never told me profit , or what services he offered ) . Shut it down now to focus on academia at university , and trying to be an academic at the same time ( while running a start up mind you related to his academic papers ) .