I’m 24M and desperate to learn how to set boundaries. I tend to bottle stuff up and I feel too sensitive to express myself authentically when someone pisses me off.
How do you set boundaries?
I’m 24M and I feel severely behind in setting boundaries. I kinda let my cousins walk all over me and nitpick whatever I do, and I never say anything back. It’s like one second they’re cool, and the other second i’m being nitpicked for how I pour soda or tie my shoes etc.
I just feel too sensitive to say anything back, and I feel like my voice will crack or i’ll stumble over my words if I express how I really feel. People would often just say it’s family banter but I feel like it’s because they deep down don’t like me or respect me as a person because i’m too sensitive to set boundaries.
Deep down I feel like losing it when they nitpick me and make me feel small but I contain it because I can’t actually physically get myself to express myself authentically. It sucks man, i’m such a weak person. I also have mild autism so i’m not sure if that plays a role.
I have a lot of build of resentment from moments like this. I carry a lot of low self esteem and issues trusting myself due to my neurodivergence and doing poorly in school growing up. I also come from a broken family.
I feel like my cousins around my age and slightly younger have already have learned to set boundaries. They seem so much more confident than me. I feel severely behind compared to most people my age with setting boundaries and it stings thinking about it. I’m trying my best man.
People often say that being a narcissist is a negative trait, but I’m growing a strong desire to become one because of moments like this. I would rather be an entitled guy who is blunt and rude to others rather than the trashy nice guy I am now.
Can anyone relate to me or understand why I am this way and whether i’m behind for my age?
What do y’all suggest I do? My family doesn’t respect me and they view me as a joke.
I’m 24M and I feel severely behind in setting boundaries. I kinda let my cousins walk all over me and nitpick whatever I do, and I never say anything back. It’s like one second they’re cool, and the other second i’m being nitpicked for how I pour soda or tie my shoes etc.
I just feel too sensitive to say anything back, and I feel like my voice will crack or i’ll stumble over my words if I express how I really feel. People would often just say it’s family banter but I feel like it’s because they deep down don’t like me or respect me as a person because i’m too sensitive to set boundaries.
Deep down I feel like losing it when they nitpick me and make me feel small but I contain it because I can’t actually physically get myself to express myself authentically. It sucks man, i’m such a weak person. I also have mild autism so i’m not sure if that plays a role.
I have a lot of build of resentment from moments like this. I carry a lot of low self esteem and issues trusting myself due to my neurodivergence and doing poorly in school growing up. I also come from a broken family.
I feel like my cousins around my age and slightly younger have already have learned to set boundaries. I feel severely behind compared to most people my age with setting boundaries and it stings thinking about it. I’m trying my best man.
People often say that being a narcissist is a negative trait, but I’m growing a strong desire to become one because of moments like this. I would rather be an entitled guy who is blunt and rude to others rather than the trashy nice guy I am now.
Can anyone relate to me or understand why I am this way and whether i’m behind for my age?
What do y’all suggest I do? My family doesn’t respect me and they view me as a joke.
If so, how and why?
If so, how and why?
I’m 24M and I did a professionally administered iq test when I was 16. My IQ ended up being an 83. Ever since that test, I’ve had a difficult time making sense of it.
My verbal comprehension and visual spacial were both average, while my processing speed, working memory, and fluid reasoning were all low average to very low/borderline.
I scored higher average in verbal memory but my visual memory score was very low/borderline.
My total reading composite was average, although my essay composite was low average.
Lastly, my mathematics composite and math fluency composite were both very low/borderline to extremely low.
I was diagnosed with mild autism and a math learning disability.
I understand why my math scores were severely low given that I have a math learning disability. But why is my working memory, processing speed, visual memory and fluid reasoning scores that LOW?? Is it my autism?
Overall, I feel like I function pretty normally, but I struggle to fully understand certain board games like monopoly or catan. I feel like there’s just too much going on for me to process mentally when I play those games and i’m not sure why. I’m from a south asian family, and I often feel like everyone else is more intelligent than me, including my 10 year old cousins.
I find it hard to believe that my IQ is that low though. Like I know that i’m not the smartest tool in the shed, but I graduated from design school (making honours multiple semesters) and got a corporate job as a UI Designer at a large company when I was 21.
I hear online that learning disabilities often skew your iq results, often making them inaccurate but idk. Am I really that slow and is my IQ representing my general ability accurately?
If these results are an accurate reflection of my ability, how tf am i gonna function in the real world (buying a home, travelling, spontaneous situations, etc)??
I’m 24M and I did a professionally administered iq test when I was 16. My IQ ended up being an 83. Ever since that test, I’ve had a difficult time making sense of it.
My verbal comprehension and visual spacial were both average, while my processing speed, working memory, and fluid reasoning were all low average to very low/borderline.
I scored higher average in verbal memory but my visual memory score was very low/borderline.
My total reading composite was average, although my essay composite was low average.
Lastly, my mathematics composite and math fluency composite were both very low/borderline to extremely low.
I was diagnosed with mild autism and a math learning disability.
I understand why my math scores were severely low given that I have a math learning disability. But why is my working memory, processing speed, visual memory and fluid reasoning scores that LOW?? Is it my autism?
Overall, I feel like I function pretty normally, but I struggle to fully understand certain board games like monopoly or catan. I feel like there’s just too much going on for me to process mentally when I play those games and i’m not sure why. I’m from a south asian family, and I often feel like everyone else is more intelligent than me, including my 10 year old cousins.
I find it hard to believe that my IQ is that low though. Like I know that i’m not the smartest tool in the shed, but I graduated from design school (making honours multiple semesters) and got a corporate job as a UI Designer at a large company when I was 21.
I hear online that learning disabilities often skew your iq results, often making them inaccurate but idk. Am I really that slow and is my IQ representing my general ability accurately?
If these results are an accurate reflection of my ability, how tf am i gonna function in the real world (buying a home, travelling, spontaneous situations, etc)??
I’m 24M and I did a professionally administered iq test when I was 16. My IQ ended up being an 83. Ever since that test, I’ve had a difficult time making sense of it.
My verbal comprehension and visual spacial were both average, while my processing speed, working memory, and fluid reasoning were all low average to very low/borderline.
I scored higher average in verbal memory but my visual memory score was very low/borderline.
My total reading composite was average, although my essay composite was low average.
Lastly, my mathematics composite and math fluency composite were both very low/borderline to extremely low.
I was diagnosed with mild autism and a math learning disability.
I understand why my math scores were severely low given that I have a math learning disability. But why is my working memory, processing speed, visual memory and fluid reasoning scores that LOW?? Is it my autism?
Overall, I feel like I function pretty normally, but I struggle to fully understand certain board games like monopoly or catan. I feel like there’s just too much going on for me to process mentally when I play those games and i’m not sure why. I’m from a south asian family, and I often feel like everyone else is more intelligent than me, including my 10 year old cousins.
I find it hard to believe that my IQ is that low though. Like I know that i’m not the smartest tool in the shed, but I graduated from design school (making honours multiple semesters) and got a corporate job as a UI Designer at a large company when I was 21.
I hear online that learning disabilities often skew your iq results, often making them inaccurate but idk. Am I really that slow and is my IQ representing my general ability accurately?
If these results are an accurate reflection of my ability, how tf am i gonna function in the real world (buying a home, travelling, spontaneous situations, etc)??
Hey, I just really need to get this off my chest because it’s been messing with my confidence. I’m 24M and from a south asian family. I feel like I’m pretty independent, i’m kind, I drive everywhere, I have a good job, I take care of my own stuff, but whenever certain family members are around, it’s like I can’t do anything right.
My cousins, for example, joke about how I cut a pizza or how I pour a soda, and yeah, I know i do certain things differently and they also might be teasing sometimes, but it still gets to me (and i think and ruminate about it for months and feel inferior every time i think about it). And then my grandfather, who I love, keeps criticizing my driving whenever i’m in the car with him. The thing is, I do these normal things all the time, no one’s breathing down my neck, and it’s only when they’re around that I start to feel like I’m actually doing something wrong.
I’m not sure if maybe I am messing up or if it’s just this whole family dynamic that’s making me second guess myself. Is this common for south asian families or am i just slow? It’s like, sometimes I feel confident, and other times, when they say something, I just feel completely off. Whenever they make nitpick what i’m doing, I don’t respond and just stay calm because I can’t ever think of any comebacks on the spot. I feel this is all my fault because i’m not sharp witted or intimidating enough, otherwise I wouldn’t be an easy target right? Does anyone else get this?
I really don’t know if it’s just me or if I should be adjusting how I do things. I do have a history of low self esteem so maybe i’m just being too sensitive. But I do feel like they are hyper critical asf with me. Am i the issue for letting them treat me like that. Maybe I need to man tf up and stop being so sensitive? Idk man. Is this normal in families or is my family toxic?
Hey, I just really need to get this off my chest because it’s been messing with my confidence. I’m 24M and from a south asian family. I feel like I’m pretty independent, I drive everywhere, I work, I take care of my own stuff, but whenever certain family members are around, it’s like I can’t do anything right.
My cousins, for example, joke about how I cut a pizza or how I pour a soda, and yeah, I know i do certain things differently and they also might be teasing sometimes, but it still gets to me (and i think and ruminate about it for months and feel inferior every time i think about it). And then my grandfather, who I love, keeps criticizing my driving whenever i’m in the car with him. The thing is, I do these normal things all the time, no one’s breathing down my neck, and it’s only when they’re around that I start to feel like I’m actually doing something wrong.
I’m not sure if maybe I am messing up or if it’s just this whole family dynamic that’s making me second guess myself. Is this common for south asian families or am i just slow? It’s like, sometimes I feel confident, and other times, when they say something, I just feel completely off. Whenever they make nitpick what i’m doing, I don’t respond and just stay calm because I can’t ever think of any comebacks on the spot. I feel this is all my fault because i’m not sharp witted or intimidating enough, otherwise I wouldn’t be an easy target right? Does anyone else get this?
I really don’t know if it’s just me or if I should be adjusting how I do things. I do have a history of low self esteem so maybe i’m just being too sensitive. But I do feel like they are hyper critical asf with me. Am i the issue for letting them treat me like that. Maybe I need to man tf up and stop being so sensitive? Idk man.
Hey, I just really need to get this off my chest because it’s been messing with my confidence. I’m 24M and from a south asian family. I feel like I’m pretty independent, I drive everywhere, I work, I take care of my own stuff, but whenever certain family members are around, it’s like I can’t do anything right.
My cousins, for example, joke about how I cut a pizza or how I pour a soda, and yeah, I know i do certain things differently and they also might be teasing sometimes, but it still gets to me (and i think and ruminate about it for months and feel inferior every time i think about it). And then my grandfather, who I love, keeps criticizing my driving whenever i’m in the car with him. The thing is, I do these normal things all the time, no one’s breathing down my neck, and it’s only when they’re around that I start to feel like I’m actually doing something wrong.
I’m not sure if maybe I am messing up or if it’s just this whole family dynamic that’s making me second guess myself. Is this common for south asian families or am i just slow? It’s like, sometimes I feel confident, and other times, when they say something, I just feel completely off. Whenever they make nitpick what i’m doing, I don’t respond and just stay calm because I can’t ever think of any comebacks on the spot. I feel this is all my fault because i’m not sharp witted or intimidating enough, otherwise I wouldn’t be an easy target right? Does anyone else get this?
I really don’t know if it’s just me or if I should be adjusting how I do things. I do have a history of low self esteem so maybe i’m just being too sensitive. But I do feel like they are hyper critical asf with me. Am i the issue for letting them treat me like that. Maybe I need to man tf up and stop being so sensitive? Idk man.
Hey, I just really need to get this off my chest because it’s been messing with my confidence. I’m 24M and from a south asian family. I feel like I’m pretty independent, I drive everywhere, I work, I take care of my own stuff, but whenever certain family members are around, it’s like I can’t do anything right.
My cousins, for example, joke about how I cut a pizza or how I pour a soda, and yeah, I know i do certain things differently and they also might be teasing sometimes, but it still gets to me (and i think and ruminate about it for months and feel inferior every time i think about it). And then my grandfather, who I love, keeps criticizing my driving whenever i’m in the car with him. The thing is, I do these normal things all the time, no one’s breathing down my neck, and it’s only when they’re around that I start to feel like I’m actually doing something wrong.
I’m not sure if maybe I am messing up or if it’s just this whole family dynamic that’s making me second guess myself. Is this common for south asian families or am i just slow? It’s like, sometimes I feel confident, and other times, when they say something, I just feel completely off. Whenever they make nitpick what i’m doing, I don’t respond and just stay calm because I can’t ever think of any comebacks on the spot. I feel this is all my fault because i’m not sharp witted or intimidating enough, otherwise I wouldn’t be an easy target right? Does anyone else get this?
I really don’t know if it’s just me or if I should be adjusting how I do things. I do have a history of low self esteem so maybe i’m just being too sensitive. But I do feel like they are hyper critical asf with me. Am i the issue for letting them treat me like that. Maybe I need to man tf up and stop being so sensitive? Idk man.
Hey, I just really need to get this off my chest because it’s been messing with my confidence. I’m 24M and I’m in a South Asian family. I feel like I’m pretty independent, I drive everywhere, I work, I take care of my own stuff, but whenever certain family members are around, it’s like I can’t do anything right. My cousins, for example, joke about how I cut a pizza or how I pour a soda, and yeah, I know i do certain things differently and they also might be teasing sometimes, but it still gets to me. And then my grandfather, who I love, keeps criticizing my driving whenever i’m in the car with him. The thing is, I do these normal things all the time, no one’s breathing down my neck, and it’s only when they’re around that I start to feel like I’m actually doing something wrong. I’m not sure if maybe I am messing up or if it’s just this whole family dynamic that’s making me second guess myself. It’s like, sometimes I feel confident, and other times, when they say something, I just feel completely off. Does anyone else get this? I really don’t know if it’s just me or if I should be adjusting how I do things.
I’m 24M and I deal with self esteem issues. I’ve never had a gf before. I find it annoying whenever i hear people say “you just need to be more confident” as if i’m not already trying. What sucks is that they frame it like i need to be confident in order go attract a gf. I don’t understand why women are so attracted to confident men anyway?
I try my hardest but i guess thats not enough for anyone to find me attractive. If this is the ridicule i have to go through to find a gf then i’m fine being single.
I had a difficult upbringing and still deal with issues that negatively impact my self esteem. If that is so repulsive to women then fine. I’m trying my best though.
I’m a 25M and bald due to alopecia. I feel like most women my age strongly prefer hair. Am I still able to have a good dating life?
It’s lowkey exhausting how people will watch a guy with mild autism do one awkward thing, like absolutely butcher opening a package, spill a drink, or freeze when attempting to perform an easy task, and instantly decide he’s incompetent or weird.
Pop culture, tech, and design are largely driven by people who think outside the box and push unconventional ideas forward. Yet the world loses patience the second a regular person shows the messy, non-linear reality of that kind of thinking in everyday life.
If Seattle was a person, people would probably think he was kinda awkward. Doesn’t love small talk. Gets overwhelmed by an inch of snow. Definitely has some mild autism vibes. But then he goes home and quietly helps create some of the most influential tech and design on the planet. Suddenly everyone calls it genius.
San Francisco is basically the same story. The city has spent decades hyper fixating on building the future, and yeah, sometimes the practical stuff gets neglected. But a huge amount of the technology, culture, art, and design people love came from minds that don’t operate in a perfectly straight line.
So when someone seems a little awkward, distracted, clumsy, or unconventional, maybe don’t assume they’re dumb. Sometimes the exact traits that make a person look weird in a random everyday moment are the same traits behind their best ideas and striking personality traits. And people claim that they want “unique thinkers” but instantly mark them off as weird in the first impression.
And yes, one of my niche autism interests are major cities if you couldn’t already tell lol
Heyoo i’m a 24M and got my IQ professionally tested as a teenager. My IQ score was an 83. Just for some background context, I’ve been diagnosed with a math learning disability, mild autism, and a visual memory disability. I also grew up with chronic low self esteem as a result of feeling different and inferior compared to my peers.
Knowing that I scored 83 on an IQ test genuinely haunts me to this day, despite many elements of my life contradicting it. I have a good job as a UI Designer, I have solid savings, I’m able to talk normally, and I function fine in life overall. People can’t even tell that i’m neurodivergent unless I tell them. Even my therapist couldn’t tell until I told her.
What really sucks about it is that whenever we play trivia, my low iq shows. I always come last place and the answers are often unfamiliar to me. I wouldn’t even say it’s a processing issue when it comes to trivia, I just don’t know the answers while it seems that everyone else somehow knows. And everyone else seems so judgmental and shocked because I never know the answers. It sucks man. I can’t even do basic mental math. I literally struggle with answering 76+23 on the spot without it written in front of me. I told my therapist about it and she kept telling me that i’m being too hard on myself. Once I told my therapist “i was made fun of for not knowing what comes after 900 billion” and she said “oh… well it took me a second to think of the answer to that too”. I know damn well she doesn’t relate to me. She works as a psychotherapist for god sake. She’s clearly WAYY smarter than me.
The strangest part about the test results is that I scored 2 percentile on visual memory. This makes no sense to me given the fact that I work as a UI Designer now lol. My essay composite was also below average. So I guess my writing skills also suck. I was below average in everything except for verbal memory, with my score on that being 114 IQ. Although, I suck at remembering what people say so idk about that.
I literally suck at everything except for my job. However, it’s only a matter of time until AI takes my job, resulting in me to have zero other options.
Many people on reddit say that IQ tests are nonsense, but I disagree. I believe that whoever says that is just coping. I know for a FACT that i’m not intelligent. I can’t lie to myself.
But yeah this bugs the hell out of me man.
Heyoo i’m a 24M and got my IQ professionally tested as a teenager. My IQ score was an 83. Just for some background context, I’ve been diagnosed with a math learning disability, mild autism, and a visual memory disability. I also grew up with chronic low self esteem as a result of feeling different and inferior compared to my peers.
Knowing that I scored 83 on an IQ test genuinely haunts me to this day, despite many elements of my life contradicting it. I have a good job as a UI Designer, I have solid savings, I’m able to talk normally, and I function fine in life overall. People can’t even tell that i’m neurodivergent unless I tell them. Even my therapist couldn’t tell until I told her.
What really sucks about it is that whenever we play trivia, my low iq shows. I always come last place and the answers are often unfamiliar to me. I wouldn’t even say it’s a processing issue when it comes to trivia, I just don’t know the answers while it seems that everyone else somehow knows. And everyone else seems so judgmental and shocked because I never know the answers. It sucks man. I can’t even do basic mental math. I literally struggle with answering 76+23 on the spot without it written in front of me. I told my therapist about it and she kept telling me that i’m being too hard on myself. Once I told my therapist “i was made fun of for not knowing what comes after 900 billion” and she said “oh… well it took me a second to think of the answer to that too”. I know damn well she doesn’t relate to me. She works as a psychotherapist for god sake. She’s clearly WAYY smarter than me.
The strangest part about the test results is that I scored 2 percentile on visual memory. This makes no sense to me given the fact that I work as a UI Designer now lol. My essay composite was also below average. So I guess my writing skills also suck. I was below average in everything except for verbal memory, with my score on that being 114 IQ. Although, I suck at remembering what people say so idk about that.
I literally suck at everything except for my job. However, it’s only a matter of time until AI takes my job, resulting in me to have zero other options.
Many people on reddit say that IQ tests are nonsense, but I disagree. I believe that whoever says that is just coping. I know for a FACT that i’m not intelligent. I can’t lie to myself.
But yeah this bugs the hell out of me man. I just wanna be respected socially. I’m tired of being unintelligent but unfortunately these are the shitty genes which I’ve been given smh
I’m a guy that’s almost 25 and I used to be extremely insecure. Like I literally thought I was blackpilled dating wise when I was 22 because i was skinny, i’m fully bald at a young age (alopecia), and i’m 5’10.
I hated feeling that way and decided to push myself to be more social, worked on my physique, found my clothing style, and build up a decent amount savings from my corporate job.
Now, I’m at a stage where i’m still not where I wanna be… but it’s a lot easier for me to visualize myself at my full potential, and I genuinely feel like I have the potential to be an attractive man. And I don’t feel like someone who will be doomed dating wise most of the time anymore.
But then my mind starts telling me that i’m being too optimistic and then I feel insecure/anxious about the future again. My bald head at 25 is the biggest insecurity for me since I feel like most women my age will weed me out for that. My confidence is also kinda fragile right now and I get insecure pretty quickly if i hear/ read things that contradict my confident mindset.
Does anyone here relate and how can I fix this? Am I being too delusional?