u/Student-bored8

I understand perhaps some sex repulsed asexuals are curious but I see this question everyday. It feels really invalidating. If you just search in the sub you will find hundreds of posts on this.

Simply, asexuality is about sexual attraction, not physical sensation or whether someone can enjoy sex.

For me, I don’t really experience sexual attraction to people, but I can still enjoy sex because I like the closeness, intimacy, and sensation. Libido is biological and separate from attraction, so being ace doesn’t automatically mean having no sex drive.

It’s similar to how someone can enjoy eating even if they aren’t specifically craving a certain food. The enjoyment of the activity and attraction toward someone aren’t the same thing.

The same applies to kinks. Kinks are usually about sensations and dynamics or even the act itself, not necessarily sexual attraction to a person.

That’s why some asexual people are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, and some sex favourable. Asexuality is a spectrum, but the common factor is the lack of typical sexual attraction.

I really wish some sex repulsed people would understand it’s okay to be curious but these questions on the daily feels exhausting and invalidating.

Hurts a lot.

I want to preface this post by saying i have stopped being friends with this person after this but yeah. I basically said I wanted to get my nipples pierced and they proceeded to tell me people only get that done for sexual reasons and to look sexy.
I then said, why can I not look sexy even if I’m asexual? I’m not allowed to feel good about myself?
But then also people get piercings for themselves not other people. Nipple piercings can be entirely aesthetic.
Even so Im sex neutral so I guess if a future partner of mine likes them great but like that’s not the reason I’m getting them. They told me I was wrong and said I was secretly wishing someone would see them and that’s when I essentially told them to get lost and blocked.
But my lord…it’s a piercing. Why can’t I want my breasts to look better? My breasts are my own. I swear people sexualise women’s chest so much. I wear lacy bras sometimes does that mean I can’t be ace too?

When I say broken I mean broken. I mean going to bed around 9am and waking around 4 pm ish give or take.
Staying up all day doesn’t work for me. It leaves me in sleep debt and then shifts back to how it was before within like a week. Then makes me cranky.
Shifting the circadian rhythm earlier doesn’t work because trying to force sleep is impossible for me. I have to be exhausted or I don’t sleep at all.
Shifting the circadian rhythm later doesn’t seem wise. I hear you can develop 24 hour circadian rhythm issues if you do that.
Melatonin doesn’t seem to have any effect on me. I take it and feel nothing. Whether it be a smaller dose, or bigger one nothing happens. I don’t feel sleepy. I feel the same way.
So overall…I feel kinda screwed.
I realise I should probably get a sleep study done but it’s hard to get appointments in the uk right now what with the nhs in shambles.

It’s wild to me that humans have just set a way of doing things. We are supposed to wake at a specific time (around 6-8am I guess) and sleep around a specific time (around 10-12).
If you fit into anything outside of that you’re seen as being wrong. Obviously, I am aware the majority of people can do this but it doesn’t account for the minority. It’s the same with autism and non autistic people. I’m autistic so…well I’m different. I’m expecting to either try and fit in and be miserable or outcasted.
But with my sleep I feel the same way. Having insomnia as well as delayed sleep phase issues has left me feeling isolated and stressed. I feel like I can’t work or function the way I’m supposed to. When I try and ask for sympathy people tend to not understand. My own mother says things like “you just need for force yourself to sleep”. Oh gee…well sleep doesn’t work like that.
But it just kinda sucks. I’m expected to fit into other people’s norms all because it’s the majority even if it feels completely unnatural and stressful.
Yes. There are people on night shifts. However, these jobs are far and few between and I need to stress that I’m a woman who feels very scared being alone at night. So there’s that.
Overall, I just feel like it sucks. And I wanted to rant about it.

I’ve just found whenever I’m on any relationship subs and people bring up asexuality people react really hostile. Of course, I am aware that allosexuals don’t have to date us if they do not want to and that sexual incompatibility is a thing.

But it seems like people act really insensitive or lack all understanding on these topics. Whenever someone may be asexual it’s “BREAK UP IMMEDIATELY”.

What happened to talking to people? To communication. To trying to understand and accept others especially those we are supposed to care for. Again, I’m aware that sex is an important aspect of a relationship but still. I feel like a lot of asexuals can thrive in relationships with allosexuals it’s just about understanding and in some ways compromise (this can be on both sides and depends on comfort levels within the relationship).

I know that Reddit does have a habit of just telling people to break up whenever small disagreements occur anyways. But I just have noticed in regard to asexuality I always know what the comments are going to be on posts regarding it. And it’s just upsetting.