u/Student-bored8

I’m just telling people this because despite how it is “illegal” to fire people for their disability. This doesn’t stop people being judgmental to you and firing you for “not fitting in well the workplace culture” instead. A job I previously worked for fired me for this exact reason and my appeal to a tribunal did nothing. As for my latest job, they told me to take some time off to recover from burn out then ghosted me. I didn’t even get an email back so essentially fired me without firing me.
I’ve learnt my lesson that, most workplaces are not willing to offer accommodations and will only “support your diagnosis” if it doesn’t affect you at all.
I’m not telling people this to scare them I’m just sharing my experience and had I known I would’ve never disclosed my autism.
I’m sure there are some supportive employers but please be mindful there are many that aren’t. Protect yourself.

Whenever something upsets me, whether it’s feeling rejected, someone hurting me or even people disliking a fictional character I’m deeply attached to, I don’t just feel sad. It’s like I physically feel it in my chest. The emotional pain is so overwhelming that it almost feels like grief or heartbreak, even over things that other people seem to brush off.

I know to some people it probably sounds irrational, especially the part about fictional characters, but my hyperfixations mean a lot to me. When people mock them or hate a character I love, it genuinely hurts in a way I struggle to explain. The same goes for rejection or conflict with people I care about. It can consume me for hours or days.

I don’t want to be this sensitive. I wish I could just let things go, but I can’t. My brain and body react so intensely that it feels impossible to control.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is this something that is common with autism, and if so, what has actually helped you manage it? I feel like this level of emotional sensitivity is taking over my life.

I’ve seen Elijah and I love her but unfortunately I’ve come across a lot of reactors who either hate Caitlyn or dislike Caitvi.
Is there any reactors people love watching on here that don’t dog on Caitlyn all the time and appreciate Caitvi even in season 2?

I think what hurts me most about Kyoshi isn’t that she made brutal decisions. It’s that she knew, from the very beginning, what those decisions would cost her.

I’m rereading the rise of Kyoshi and this quote at the end kills me:

“The people would never revere her like they did Yangchen or smile at her like they did Kuruk”.

And she doesn’t argue with it nor does she promise herself she’ll change their minds. She just thinks:

Well… “then let it be so”.

That is so deeply devastating to me.

Kyoshi accepts that history will probably remember her as a monster before she’s even had the chance to become a hero. And the cruel part is that history does. Centuries later, everyone remembers the Avatar who killed Chin. The Avatar who ruled through fear. The Avatar who was ruthless and uncompromising.

Almost nobody remembers the scared girl who just wanted people to be safe. Nobody remembers the girl who worried constantly about doing the wrong thing. Who loved deeply. Who cried. Who questioned herself. Who sacrifices being with the one she loved in the afterlife. And everything she does is because she believed protecting people was her duty and worth much more than protecting her own reputation.

The world got to live in peace because Kyoshi was willing to become someone it could fear.

And then it only remembered the fear. And ugh…that is the tragedy of Kyoshi.

When I think about it this way, it kind of makes sense by the end she lost her humanity. She sacrificed her humanity in the name of her duty almost.

I know this is probably a common autism thing, but does anyone else struggle to express themselves verbally EVEN though they know exactly what they want to say?

When I write, I can explain my thoughts and feelings really well. I can organise everything, think about the words I want to use, as well as express myself clearly. But when it comes to actually speaking, it’s like my brain and my mouth don’t work together. I end up rambling, stuttering, losing my train of thought or explaining things in a way that doesn’t come out how I intended.

It’s frustrating because I KNOW what I want to say. It’s not that I don’t have the thoughts. They just don’t come out properly in conversation.

A while ago, someone told me I should “learn how to speak properly before trying.” I don’t think they knew I’m autistic, but it still really hurt. Ever since then I’ve felt a lot less confident speaking to people because I’m constantly worried I’m going to mess up what I’m trying to say.

It makes me feel like people judge me based on how I speak rather than what I’m actually trying to communicate. And it feels like even in the times I DO know what I want to say I can’t say it properly.

I genuinely struggle to understand the argument that Korra “overuses” the Avatar State.

When people bring it up, it feels like they’re counting every time she enters the Avatar State without looking at why she used it and the context of the moment.

The most common example I see is her using it to win a race. But that’s clearly a joke scene. If we’re counting that as evidence of overuse, then we’re already stretching the definition.

Looking at the major fights though-

Amon: Korra doesn’t beat him with the Avatar State. She unlocks airbending and defeats him while he’s bloodbending her.

Unalaq/Vaatu: She’s fighting the Dark Avatar during a world ending spiritual conflict. If there was ever a time to use the Avatar State, it’s here. No? Even then, the final victory comes from her spirit form, not simply overpowering Vaatu with the Avatar State.

Zaheer: He literally forces her into the Avatar State with metal poison because his plan is to kill her while she’s connected to all the past lives. That’s not Korra choosing to rely on it…it’s the villain forcing it on her. Plus, how could she beat him while half dying and full of poison without the avatar state.

Kuvira (first fight): Korra is suffering from severe trauma and PTSD caused by Zaheer. She enters the Avatar State because she’s losing, due to her mental block. And also Kuvira doesn’t land a hit on her, she breaks out of the state due to her own self doubt and falls to the ground (If I remember correctly).

Kuvira (final fight): Korra proves she doesn’t need the Avatar State to beat her. She fights far better and wins largely through her own skill and bending ability. Even using metal bending which she is new in.

People also seem to forget that Korra starts the series as a fully trained master of water, earth, and fire. She’s one of the most combat capable Avatars we’ve seen from the beginning. Why would she need to constantly rely on the Avatar State when she’s already an elite bender?

I think the real criticism isn’t that Korra overuses the Avatar State in combat. It’s that The Legend of Korra treats it differently from ATLA. Aang’s Avatar State was mysterious, rare, and mostly uncontrollable. He didn’t know how to go into the avatar state. Korra is aware how to access it and uses it as an actual technique.

That’s a fair preference if people like how it was portrayed in ATLA, but that’s different from saying Korra constantly relies on it or uses it as a win button.
If anything, the Avatar State fails to solve a lot of Korra’s biggest problems. Amon takes her bending, Unalaq destroys Raava, Zaheer nearly kills her, and her trauma continues long after those fights are over.
So am I missing something here? Where exactly is the evidence that Korra “overuses” the Avatar State?
Or is it just incels forgetting context again?

It honestly feels impossible. Every job I have had has ended badly. Every job I think about having feels pointless. I feel like I’m not fit for this capitalist world we live in. Idk how I’m supposed to survive.

Edit: I didn’t expect to get so many replies on this. Thank you to everyone who shared and made me feel less alone. I honestly just wanted to rant. I doubt there is much of a solution to this. It’s a normal experience for autistic people in this world. Good luck everyone.

I think Team Avatar in Legend of Korra gets underrated because people compare them directly to Aang’s team without considering how differently the two shows are structured.

In ATLA, Aang’s friends often feel equal to him in their own areas. Katara becomes one of the greatest waterbenders alive, Toph invents metalbending, Sokka is the group’s strategist, and Zuko is an elite firebender. The show gives each member plenty of moments to shine.

Korra’s team is different because Korra herself is the standout. She’s arguably one of the most naturally gifted Avatars we’ve seen, so everyone around her looks weaker by comparison.

Take Mako. I’ve always thought he’s underrated. He can generate lightning consistently in combat, something Zuko never learned to do, and his fighting style is incredibly efficient. I honestly think there’s a strong argument that Mako is a stronger combat firebender than end of series Zuko.

Then there’s Bolin. People often call him the weak link, but he’s still an elite earthbender who learns lavabending, one of the rarest bending abilities in the franchise. That’s an incredible achievement.

Asami is also overlooked. She’s not a bender, but she’s a skilled fighter, pilot, engineer, and inventor. Her technology and intelligence save the team countless times.

The difference isn’t that Korra’s team is weak. It’s that Korra is usually the strongest person in the room. In ATLA, Aang often shared the spotlight with teammates who were the best in the world at what they did. In Korra, the story is built around Korra being the central powerhouse. Also Korra had to deal with bigger threats…and I truly believe even Aangs team would have struggled with them.

I genuinely don’t understand why so many people in this fandom act like Korra is some weak Avatar just because she isn’t Aang. The constant comparisons are exhausting. Aang and Korra are completely different characters who lived in completely different eras and faced completely different challenges.

People love to point to Korra’s losses while ignoring everything she accomplished:

-She could bend three elements as a child.
-She defeated Amon despite his bloodbending being so powerful that nobody else could stop him.
-She fought and defeated Unalaq/Vaatu during the Harmonic Convergence and despite losing her past lives could still utilise the avatar state.
-She survived being poisoned with mercury while fighting Zaheer and still managed to resist him.
-She recovered from severe physical and psychological trauma, which is honestly one of the most impressive things any Avatar has done in my eyes.
-She helped stop Kuvira and prevented a massive war.
-She literally left the world with a new spirit portal and reshaped the relationship between spirits and humans forever.

What frustrates me is that people treat every time Korra struggles as proof she’s weak, while Aang’s struggles are seen as character development.
Korra spends almost the entire series fighting opponents specifically designed to counter the Avatar:

-Amon could remove bending.
-Unalaq had deep spiritual knowledge that Korra lacked.
-Zaheer exploited her trauma and literally poisoned her.
-Kuvira was a military genius leading a modern empire. She wasn’t a slouch either.
These weren’t ordinary villains.

Korra also carries burdens that Aang never had to deal with. Aang’s story was about restoring balance after a war. Korra’s story was about maintaining balance in a rapidly changing world where people constantly questioned whether the Avatar was even necessary anymore.

And honestly, one of Korra’s greatest strengths isn’t her bending…it’s her growth. She starts the series stubborn, impulsive, and overconfident, but by the end she’s more compassionate, patient, and spiritually mature than she was at the beginning.
You don’t have to prefer Korra over Aang. Aang is one of my favorite characters too. But saying Korra is weak feels like completely missing the point of her character and ignoring everything she accomplished throughout the series.

I know I shouldn’t let the hateful bigots get to me but it’s honestly so frustrating. The amount of lies people make up just to either bring Atla up or Korra down is ridiculous.

I just wanted to see something I guess. I wanted to stop feeling so guilty about living with my parents. I understand in this economy a lot of neurotypical people do this too but for me it’s also a support thing for my autism.

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The fact is, the government want us to work but more often then not don’t offer any accommodations for us. We are told to just push down how we feel and get on with it or we are lazy. Even if we have a diagnosis, we are still expected, especially if we mask enough, to “act neurotypical”.
I’m yet to talk to someone who hasn’t had a poor experience working as an autistic person. Who hasn’t either been judged or exhausted/ burnt out.
It makes living so much harder for us. How are we expected to live if we do not work? But then when we do work it makes us miserable most of the time?
I guess I’m just seeing how hopeless it is. People do not ever treat neurodivergence seriously. It’s either treated like a joke, equated to Down syndrome, or if you’re lower in support needs, completely invalidated that you have anything wrong with you.
I’m not ashamed of my autism. It’s all I’ve ever known really. But what I can’t stand is people expecting me to act in the “normal” way and when I don’t I’m punished. I tried at one work place to be myself and I got fired within a few weeks. And all my other jobs have only lasted a few months before burnt out hits.
The fact is, if the governments we are in really want people with autism to work then they need to work on educating people on neurodiversity in schools and supporting employers in making accommodations for us when needed. It shouldn’t be the disabled persons responsibility to make others feel comfortable. We are in the minority. We should be helped not held to an unfair standard.
I’m overall just sick of it. I try and advocate for myself but there’s only so much I can do when employers themselves are unequipped to handle someone with autism or neurodiversity as a whole.

I feel like before I speak I am instantly judged like people have a kind of sixth sense about this. Not in a way where they will be accommodating for me but in a way where they will straight away exclude me.
I had this in school and as an adult in work as well. I can’t keep many friendships nor relationships and jobs feel near impossible, not because I’m not skilled enough but because I’m not friendly enough.
It’s gotten worse since I stopped masking. A lot of my relationships with people in my real life have taken a hit with people asking me to “go back to how I was” or that I’m even “using autism as an excuse to be weird”.
I always thought the bullying in school was because I was shy but as I grew up I realised I’d be bullied even now just through gossip in the workplace.
I know the sensory issues are a pain, the meltdowns, the processing differences as a whole, but the thing I can’t move past is being unlikeable.
I would dream of having more friends at school and would tell myself I’d try harder when I moved schools and eventually went to university. But nothing changed. Then when I got my diagnosis I realised just why. And it made me want to cry all over again because now it wasn’t something I could fix.
This has been taking a toll of me for months now and I feel like no one understands when I say it to them. They just say “oh you’re quirky but we like you” and it’s like but you don’t like me. You don’t like when I’m myself. You only like when I put a mask on and “perform for you”.
My whole life feels like a performance with people and I feel too exhausted to act anymore. I have to get a new job soon and I’m dreading that, maybe that’s why I’m not trying hard to even get one. Because I’m scared truthfully. I’m scared that I’ll be judged. Even if I tell them about my autism, I doubt they will accommodate for me anyways but they will dislike me.
Maybe I just need to accept that I’m unlikeable and stop dreaming up something I can never be. I guess that part of the diagnosis. Grieving a part of yourself.
It just sucks.

I wasn’t actively looking for these communities, but a post from one appeared in my feed and it honestly shocked me.

What concerns me is how many Reddit pages and online spaces exist that are dedicated to the idea of “turning lesbians straight” or convincing lesbians to sleep with men. The fact that these communities exist at all is disturbing enough for me, but what I find equally concerning is the number of people who encourage and celebrate this behaviour even claiming to be “lesbians” themselves.

Being a lesbian isn’t a preference waiting to be changed, or something that can be fixed by the “right man.” Yet there seems to be a constant stream of content built around that idea.

I don’t think this is really about attraction. It’s about power. It’s about the ego boost that comes from believing you can change someone’s sexuality and make them conform to what you want. That mindset is not only disrespectful to lesbians, but deeply concerning.

I’m tired of seeing lesbian identities treated as invalid or temporary by these people. The assumption that a man can somehow change a lesbian’s sexuality is disrespectful and contributes to the broader problem of lesbians not being taken seriously.

I understand perhaps some sex repulsed asexuals are curious but I see this question everyday. It feels really invalidating. If you just search in the sub you will find hundreds of posts on this.

Simply, asexuality is about sexual attraction, not physical sensation or whether someone can enjoy sex.

For me, I don’t really experience sexual attraction to people, but I can still enjoy sex because I like the closeness, intimacy, and sensation. Libido is biological and separate from attraction, so being ace doesn’t automatically mean having no sex drive.

It’s similar to how someone can enjoy eating even if they aren’t specifically craving a certain food. The enjoyment of the activity and attraction toward someone aren’t the same thing.

The same applies to kinks. Kinks are usually about sensations and dynamics or even the act itself, not necessarily sexual attraction to a person.

That’s why some asexual people are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, and some sex favourable. Asexuality is a spectrum, but the common factor is the lack of typical sexual attraction.

I really wish some sex repulsed people would understand it’s okay to be curious but these questions on the daily feels exhausting and invalidating.

Hurts a lot.

I want to preface this post by saying i have stopped being friends with this person after this but yeah. I basically said I wanted to get my nipples pierced and they proceeded to tell me people only get that done for sexual reasons and to look sexy.
I then said, why can I not look sexy even if I’m asexual? I’m not allowed to feel good about myself?
But then also people get piercings for themselves not other people. Nipple piercings can be entirely aesthetic.
Even so Im sex neutral so I guess if a future partner of mine likes them great but like that’s not the reason I’m getting them. They told me I was wrong and said I was secretly wishing someone would see them and that’s when I essentially told them to get lost and blocked.
But my lord…it’s a piercing. Why can’t I want my breasts to look better? My breasts are my own. I swear people sexualise women’s chest so much. I wear lacy bras sometimes does that mean I can’t be ace too?

When I say broken I mean broken. I mean going to bed around 9am and waking around 4 pm ish give or take.
Staying up all day doesn’t work for me. It leaves me in sleep debt and then shifts back to how it was before within like a week. Then makes me cranky.
Shifting the circadian rhythm earlier doesn’t work because trying to force sleep is impossible for me. I have to be exhausted or I don’t sleep at all.
Shifting the circadian rhythm later doesn’t seem wise. I hear you can develop 24 hour circadian rhythm issues if you do that.
Melatonin doesn’t seem to have any effect on me. I take it and feel nothing. Whether it be a smaller dose, or bigger one nothing happens. I don’t feel sleepy. I feel the same way.
So overall…I feel kinda screwed.
I realise I should probably get a sleep study done but it’s hard to get appointments in the uk right now what with the nhs in shambles.

It’s wild to me that humans have just set a way of doing things. We are supposed to wake at a specific time (around 6-8am I guess) and sleep around a specific time (around 10-12).
If you fit into anything outside of that you’re seen as being wrong. Obviously, I am aware the majority of people can do this but it doesn’t account for the minority. It’s the same with autism and non autistic people. I’m autistic so…well I’m different. I’m expecting to either try and fit in and be miserable or outcasted.
But with my sleep I feel the same way. Having insomnia as well as delayed sleep phase issues has left me feeling isolated and stressed. I feel like I can’t work or function the way I’m supposed to. When I try and ask for sympathy people tend to not understand. My own mother says things like “you just need for force yourself to sleep”. Oh gee…well sleep doesn’t work like that.
But it just kinda sucks. I’m expected to fit into other people’s norms all because it’s the majority even if it feels completely unnatural and stressful.
Yes. There are people on night shifts. However, these jobs are far and few between and I need to stress that I’m a woman who feels very scared being alone at night. So there’s that.
Overall, I just feel like it sucks. And I wanted to rant about it.