u/TheCheeryO

It was so scary but i was talking to her about amatonormativity and she was reacting positively towards it and so I took the plunge!! she was surprisingly supportive!!

I haven’t been able to see my best friend for very close to a month, and it’s making me want to do more romantic things with her? I realized recently that I have spent my whole life not being comfortable enough with myself and my body to feel safe doing a lot of things with people (ie cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, complimenting eachother, going out to eat) and ive recently felt a lot better about myself and I’ve made a conscious effort to do those things more with my friends because they make me feel better and like a person.

I have specifally wanted to do this a lot with one specific friend, because I feel most comfortable with her. but not seeing her for a while is making me really want to give her a hug, talk to her, spend time together, normal stuff for me, but i also really want to…kiss her on the cheek? like I 100% DO NOT want to kiss her mouth, and I definitely don’t want to do anything sexual, but I really want to give her little kisses and I don’t know if this is just from not seeing her or if it’s because I’m feeling more comfortable in myself but its weird and kind of makes me scared. I also really don’t know if she would be comfortable with this and I don’t know how to ask.

Some of the nouns MIGHT be: house, room, bed, heart, body

might have some kind of house of leaves energy

It’s the night before the fourth in my timezone rn and theres already a LOT of fireworks going off, I get fairly unpleasant stress shifts that kinda go hand in hand with my anxiety and I know that loud noises make it worse. does anyone else get issues like this?

Previous text:

There was a book I read a bit ago with two main characters, a girl and a boy (probably). The girl is trying to get the guy to join a group with her, and the only way that you can get into it is by eating a four leaf clover in front of the leader. The girl is either already part of the group or realy wants to be in the group but isn't yet for some reason. The boy is a little hesitant but ends up joining. The characters in the book need to procure their own four-leaf clovers, and I believe the boy gets his by taking one from his grandpas wallet that he himself had given to his grandpa a few years earlier. He describes the taste of the clover as being very bitter and lasting too long in his mouth. The book is almost certainly not fantasy, more like a realistic fiction or teen drama book, maybe with some mystery elements. I don't have a clue what year it was written in or even what year I read it in.

Newly remembered elements:

I think the scene where the main character steals the clover from his grandpas wallet has a flashback where her thinks about giving it to his grandpa, and about how stealing it feels like leaving behind that past.

Also, I think his parents are either dead or out of the picture in some way. He lives just with his grandpa

Maybe also the story starts with him moving to a new town? (...maybe after his parents die?)

Previous text:

There was a book I read a bit ago with two main characters, a girl and a boy (probably). The girl is trying to get the guy to join a group with her, and the only way that you can get into it is by eating a four leaf clover in front of the leader. The girl is either already part of the group or realy wants to be in the group but isn't yet for some reason. The boy is a little hesitant but ends up joining. The characters in the book need to procure their own four-leaf clovers, and I believe the boy gets his by taking one from his grandpas wallet that he himself had given to his grandpa a few years earlier. He describes the taste of the clover as being very bitter and lasting too long in his mouth. The book is almost certainly not fantasy, more like a realistic fiction or teen drama book, maybe with some mystery elements. I don't have a clue what year it was written in or even what year I read it in.

Newly remembered elements:

I think the scene where the main character steals the clover from his grandpas wallet has a flashback where her thinks about giving it to his grandpa, and about how stealing it feels like leaving behind that past.

Also, I think his parents are either dead or out of the picture in some way. He lives just with his grandpa

Maybe also the story starts with him moving to a new town? (...maybe after his parents die?)

Previous text:

There was a book I read a bit ago with two main characters, a girl and a boy (probably). The girl is trying to get the guy to join a group with her, and the only way that you can get into it is by eating a four leaf clover in front of the leader. The girl is either already part of the group or realy wants to be in the group but isn't yet for some reason. The boy is a little hesitant but ends up joining. The characters in the book need to procure their own four-leaf clovers, and I believe the boy gets his by taking one from his grandpas wallet that he himself had given to his grandpa a few years earlier. He describes the taste of the clover as being very bitter and lasting too long in his mouth. The book is almost certainly not fantasy, more like a realistic fiction or teen drama book, maybe with some mystery elements. I don't have a clue what year it was written in or even what year I read it in.

Newly remembered elements:

I think the scene where the main character steals the clover from his grandpas wallet has a flashback where her thinks about giving it to his grandpa, and about how stealing it feels like leaving behind that past.

Also, I think his parents are either dead or out of the picture in some way. He lives just with his grandpa

Maybe also the story starts with him moving to a new town? (...maybe after his parents die?)

I talked to a friend abt being aroace (technically I’m cupioromantic and a little bit frayromantic as well, but I didn’t feel like getting into it and it’s not that important) but she was really normal about it and we just went back to talking about project Hail Mary. After actually talking to someone about it, I feel so much more confident in myself and genuinely happy. And it’s making me realize how much non-romantic love I have for so many things and people in my life :)