u/Throwra-Box3229

I work in a very white dominated field and like most clients and coworkers I’ve worked with, they have all underestimated me and my potential. Some I can admit have not and some have come around and apologized.

Now this coworker and I were once close until I heard him refer to black women looking like “LeBron James”. He said this while talking about his ex gf, made a “joke” about her looking like that basketball player. I do not see any resemblance whatsoever. She’s a very gorgeous woman and I have no idea why she was ever with him. In each conversation we had after that, he loves saying how much he loves black women. I’ve dated white men before and I am married to one. I can tell the difference between a white man that does not base race on who they date and others who say “I love black girls”. While insulting everything that resembles our culture. Those type are more likely to very closeted racist.

I’ve stayed some distance from him but we work together a lot so I’m still polite. What always made me chuckle in my head, was him saying how much he loved black women and couldn’t be with white women but when he was around a white woman client, he acted as if they walked on water.

Lately I noticed he’d make jabs at me. Saying he’s my boss (I’m actually his supervisor). He would also make jokes in front of client claiming I’m not good at my job. No one ever laughs because, well…. I’m very fantastic at my job. When I joined I made everyone look like absolute idiots. I got a raise within weeks compared to people who have worked there for years.

Anywho, this coworker of mine had difficulty doing his job and I was sent by the GM to help him. He was yelling and swearing at the GM on the phone so I went to assist. While there, he began yelling and swearing at me. Saying he’s knows things about me and he’s going to get me fired and there’s nothing I can do to him.

I’m petty as petty can be, I went and told the GM. The general manager seemed to want to forget about this (boys will be boys). I’ve been hearing this phrase regarding this man for months and I feel like someone should hold him accountable for his actions and words.

I went forward with my report and told the GM if he does nothing I will go to HR. This man child has verbally harassed many coworkers, I would be the 6th. I am the only woman he’s verbally attacked.

GM said he’ll cut his hours. I said nah, cut his hours by two shifts wasn’t enough for me. Especially after being told he went to other coworkers to get them in his “side”. So I said I’ll be happy with one shift a week. GM agreed, but someone. Only one person thinks I went too far.

AITAH? I know I can be petty but I think after 20+ complaints, he will not learn his lesson. He needs to learn accountability.

I was pissed and angry when I found what I found. I myself after a year or so decided to “find” someone. I did, and eventually he found out. It ended, we moved.

He’s always tried his best to hide that part of him and again and again it didn’t make sense.

Grown men texting and calling him at 2am, FetLife pictures of him before we met on a gay man’s profile, his OBSESSION with always having a guy around us. Even tried to invite a guy to LIVE with us. A guy he worked with. Claimed they weren’t closed when I confronted him for whispering and pointing with his eyes when I was approaching them talking and he said “I don’t even talk to him like that, we aren’t even close” but then wanted him to live with us? An hour and a half away from his job?

Past few months I was getting comfortable being with him and ignoring it all. Accepted I’m in a lavender relationship. My son loves him and he’s my best friend.

But lately, I feel complete disgust. He had this huge infatuation with this guy at his new job. Funny enough, looks exactly like the guy he wanted to live with us. (Twink).

When I met this guy, he became obsessed with me. Not my my fiancé like he thought he would’ve been. Guy at his work followed me on Instagram the moment he met me, kept trying to invite me out. Complimented constantly. My fiancé acted jealous but it was obviously he wasn’t jealous because a younger attractive man was into me, he was jealous that he wasn’t interested in him.

These days, it’s obvious and he doesn’t even care to hide it.
I had a dildo, I found and I was jokingly showing him. He took it and said “I bet I can’t stick it all the way down my throat”. Then proceeded to stick it in his mouth. Knowing fully well I’ve accused him many times of being gay.

When I confronted him and said why would you put a penis shape dildo into your mouth he said “well to show you I’m comfortable with my sexuality”.

We don’t have sex, he’s not interested at all. At first he’d try. Now it’s nonexistent. The guy at his job compliments me more than him and he does it right in front of him. A few men at work have asked me to “hangout” and I’d tell him and he wouldn’t even seem the slightest bit jealous.

We had a male friend over the other weekend, he had to get something off our second balcony and kept telling the man “grab my ass grab my ass”. To hold him up.

I pretended to give him a kiss, he jolted his head back with disgust on his face. I called him out and he said “I was just joking”.

He even tried to convince me that my brother should stay with us, rent free. Which makes no sense because he’s always talking about money. When I said “you want a grown man to live with us, have me feed him, clothed him, drive him everywhere since he doesn’t drive”

He responded “I was just joking”.

In our new home we see a few people pass by, I’ve mention very very attractive women pass by and he doesn’t even move. I said there’s a gay guy in booty shirts he RAN OVER. Stock his head to the window and just kept watching him.

I think I almost snapped today, like full rage snap but I hung up before I could say anything. My husband and I just got our beautiful new home. Since we got it we’ve been hosting my brother as well 4-5 days out of the week because we live closer to his job, which I GOT HIM btw.

The first week wasn’t too bad, then the second week she asked. I said sure, then rolling on to the third week STRAIGHT. I said no at first but thought whatever. This will be the last week.

We haven’t unpacked many boxes or done much because our days are spent working, waiting for him to start the job. Dropping him, taking a breather and just hanging out together as a married couple putting a few things away. Then waiting to pick him up.

Sometimes my poor husband is so tired that I just uber my brother to ours.

Now he comes back today in what I assumed was just 1 night here then I drop him to work tomorrow and my brother in law picks him up since he works closer to the job and also he lives closer to my mother (hubby and I live an hour and a half away).

She calls me saying that apparently my brother in law doesn’t want to pick him up tomorrow so can we host him until we can drive him back to her house and then drive back home.

Mind you, I told this sorry excuse for a human being that we haven’t finished unpacking, we both work full time, since we moved here we haven’t had a single weekend just two of us.

When I said no and my brother in law can pick him up. She starts talking about “well it’s the job you gave him, and brother in law’s name doesnt like waiting to long for him to finish”

LIKE WHAT?! Because I GAVE A 26 YEAR OLD MAN a job that means I’m responsible for picking him up, dropping him off, FEEDING HIM, CLEANING UP AFTER HIM?

Whenever my husband does something or says that would obviously upset me. I asked to space and he does not ever do that. It’s making me reconsider spending the rest of my life with someone that immediately wants me to not be upset or angry. It feels like I cannot show any other emotion but happiness.

He’ll take work off or refuse to go to work and constantly talks to me during the day. I would him to just stop talking to go to work and he refuses. If I leave, he’ll follow me. If I go to another room, he will follow me. If I lock myself in the washroom. He’ll stand there and just keep talking.

Sometimes I just give in for him to just STOP TALKING. After years of this, I have these intense hatred moments towards him.

I try to get him to understand I need SPACE. He’ll even try to kiss me, hug me, intimately touch me. He’ll not work and say he’s fine with getting fired because he can’t work if I’m upset with me. I’m starting to find that pathetic, he’s 45 years of age. He’s 15 years my senior.

I’m at wits end with this nonsense.

My husband since we first met is really into BDSM, I was very into it. Lately it seems we are both too busy with work and a child to do it. He’s into 24/7 but it is hard to do that with a child and work.

But we have still tried, we were talking about bringing a sub into our “bedroom”. Although I do absolutely trust him. I’m worried that she would be able to do 24/7 sub and he’d just leave. I am also very veryyyy interested in it and think it would be fun. I think my insecurities is causing me to think this way even though it was my idea.

Does it actually work out? Or is it statistically a disaster?

There is this beautiful woman at work that comes in a lot. Her names “Katie”. I would describe myself as someone that was in elementary school and high school “lesbian”. My family is very against it and eventually in college I started dated “men”.

In high school I slept with my male neighbour thought that would be alright, he turned out to be gay lol (what are the odds) and was cheating on me with men. He kept telling me I was lesbian. Ashamed and embarrassed I told him no. I refused to believe him. He then once told me to have sex with him the way I would want to. I pretty much humped him and first time and last time I ever climaxed during sex. I mean I’ve had threesomes and orgies with women and men and fixated on the women to not “draw attention”. It was excuse for ex’s I had just to sleep with a woman.

Anyways there’s this older woman at work, stunning. I can’t stop thinking about her. I learned her name and she seemed surprised and happy I did. Every time she comes in I say “Hey Katie” she always smiles while staring at me because I’m shy I look away really fast (only when it comes to her I’m an extremely extroverted person) whenever we do make eye contact she shyly looks away with a smile.

The thing is I would describe myself as very feminine, nails done, hair done, makeup, girly voice high pitch voice. Guys at work flirt with me in front of her a lot. I’m 30 now and quite frankly it’s draining pretending at my big girl age.

The thing is, I’m not sure if she’s just being kind or she’s interested?
How on earth can you tell?

She’s Asian, older…. Maybe 25-30 years older. Professional lady, kind eyes, beautiful smile, quiet. I noticed her cheeks turn red when I try my hardest to keep eye contact.

I technically work for the city, the city invested into where I work and bought where I currently work. I have made A LOT of complaints to the GM about certain things and he does NOTHING. A new girl complained about one thing it was fixed within a week.

I’ve reported this employee being late multiple times. I’m not taking 5 min late or 10 min late or even 30! He’s HOURS late. I get the complaints, I get the attitude I get it ALL. I’ve told GM multiple times. When this employee comes in he just chills like it’s not work it’s summer camp. Never at his station, talking to other employees (women), tells new employees he’s second in command. (No he is frkn not).

This morning again he’s over an hour late, customers are complaining I felt my face turn red and told them in a nice way they can complain to the city, I said the GM does nothing I have complained many times whenever this guy is late the GM says “it’s all good buddy”.

I was 5 min late and the GM rolled his eyes at me when I said I was late because I have to drive an hour to work and I went to get gas.

The GM schedules his meeting during my shifts so he’s in meetings 3-4 hours a DAY!

When servers are down or there’s an issue and I try to get his attention he says “I’m in a meeting”. I have to repeatedly bother him for him to get up. I had an angry customer that wanted to speak to the GM and he rolled his eyes at me. I’ve even seen him scrolling on Instagram on his phone.

I’ve even spoken to him about how I noticed I was off for a week (my child was sick) and NOT one thing was done during my absence.

Today he had a lot of complaints because I told everyone who was pissed off to call the city. I told him I did that and he turned red. Looked like he wanted to hit me.

I’ve previously discussed to him that it feels more like I’m the GM than he is when it comes to dealing with customers because he just stays in his office during the busiest hours. He laughed and said I could never be a GM.

Based in Ontario. A general manager started working at a golf course, a lot of the old employees were rehired and are working. Some only gave availability to start two months after the golf course opened. GM hired two individuals that were recommended by the owners.

One person from last year who only said can work two months later now wants shifts immediately. She wants exactly her own shifts, which is specific days and times. Two new girls have full 7 day availability. There is no room for her and now she’s threatening the GM. He will not be hiring her. He’s pretty sure the owners will be on his side.

Because the GM won’t put her on shift, she emailed threatening to go to higher ups if GM does not give her shifts with her exact time and days she can work.

She is not aware that the owners recommended two other girls, since she couldn’t even work and current GM was told she was not even allowed to choose her own shift last year and says she’s trying to take advantage of him being new.

She also put in her email the GM has two days to put her on the schedule “or else”

Question, is there anything legal or illegal regarding this matter? We are waiting on the owners response but we believe he’s on vacation.

I start work at 6am, it’s pitch dark where I work. It’s work policy for two staff to be on shift due to violence and unsafe past experiences.

This guy has tried to sleep with me many times and I’ve turned him down. Last time I was very blunt about my non interest which I think hurt his wittle feelings.

Every shift we work together at 6am he comes in 3 hours later and says he forgot when he starts or his new excuse “my old manager would text me the day before to let me know when to come in”. (Like it’s not written on the schedule).

He only does this when I’m working, he knows it’s unsafe since he’s mentioned it to me before that’s why he stayed later so another girl wouldn’t be alone. I told my manager multiple times about this swine. He keeps saying he’ll talk to him and nothing changes I don’t think he’s EVER spoken to him.

Today again he showed up two hours late, left me to handle everything alone. I spoke to my manager and said he can’t do anything that he’ll talk to him if I mention what I think is sexual harassment or else he has nothing. Which he knows I do not want to do that, anywhere I’ve worked you get fired for being 10 min late. To be HOURS late multiple times and not even a slap on the wrist.

I started a new job and my coworker has been hitting on me a lot. Asking me out on dates which I politely decline. He is an attractive guy but I’m not interested. I’ve always politely turned him down. We work with a lot with students. One particular girl only had 2 shifts and she’s 19. He’s always said he knows once in awhile some teenagers come in during summer and it’s gross for someone his age (30M) to go after anyone 5 years and younger.

This girl started her second shift and he was all over her, she gave me her instagram and it said we were both mutual friends with him. I kinda found it creepy because I am also 30 years old (he thought I was 22 years old) and there’s a 19 year old male that also started working and I’ve spoken to him and even once I said he reminds me of my brother. Who’s also younger.

I saw how he was all over this girl today and I texted him saying “hmm found your next target eh?”

He obviously pretended he had no idea what I was saying but I knew what he was doing because he did it when he thought I was 22. Im a smaller built woman, I do have a baby face, my voice also sounds younger. I get ID’d a lot. I get told I look pretty young for my age.

I do feel kinda bad texting him that… in the moment I was kinda grossed out by how he was following her all over and as someone who’s worked in male dominated fields for years I can tell she wasn’t comfortable.

Should I apologize? Maybe I overstepped? We usually make rude remarks to one another. Like he’d tell he to “stfu” or “f off”. But he’s been quiet so now I feel bad.