u/TopNotice0

Anyone have any idea what’s going on?

F35 diagnosed AuDHD, but just got my autism diagnosis about a month ago. It has been an emotional journey since then.

I used to travel a lot for work, and although I was nervous, I’d strategically dissociate from my body to try and avoid the fear and panic. I’d immediately open a laptop to work as a distraction - movies and books didn’t and still don’t do the trick for me.

Anyways, lately travel has been extra difficult. I struggle with disrupted routine, sameness, and structure. The night before a flight (not routine, new place, out of control of the structure) I am an anxious and dysregulated mess. I try my best to create space for what I’m feeling, but damn. I’m exhausted. Part of me wants to just be able to do the thing it seems so many other adults can do without having a full physical reaction starting 24 hours before… shakes, throwing up, diarrea, etc. I’ve been throwing up lately on planes from the anxiety, and even being on “vacation” isn’t super enjoyable, because my body and mind can’t relax.

I tried to fly somewhere today for a friend’s bachelorette trip and ended up missing the flight because I was up so late last night *trying* to sleep, and then the whole thing got so overwhelming I just went back home. I’m supposed to try again tomorrow, but I’m really struggling already with the idea of it.

Anyways, I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else here struggles with travel (the whole process of it) in a similar way. 😔

I'm not looking for "big! bold! bridal!" type of MUA – rather, someone who can do natural, long-lasting makeup that will look good in photos.

I know it's a bit late, but worth a shot. Thanks so much for any recommendations!

A glimpse of the challenges of living with a sudden, & obvious, disability when in the public eye. 💚🫂 Go, Lauren!