u/Transition-Upper

I took a decision to leave my abuser husband. But I've taken that decision many times and failed.

Can someone tell me how they kept this promise?

I told my family members to block me if I ever come back to that man. That will be it. Im jumping out and snatching this chance.

My main issue now is my son. That evil man knows well how to trauma bond his victims.

How to protect my beautiful baby? He has a similar character like me. He even lets other toddlers hit him, he doesn't reply. He doesn't deserve it and he will make him suffer that evil man. How to stop it? Scared to death after getting more information on how trauma bonding works.

Im so happy I'll get the legal support I need this week and the next one.

It’s the first step. I'm back to my job part time and I can increase my time more.

He left us again and went back to his job (good riddance). The only issue I'm completely alone with a toddler. The other day I had a 40.5 degrees fever and no one to help me. I still have fever but it got better.

He continued his abuse without entering the details. And this time I documented it. I have quiet some documents now for his abuse. And a police call. His abuse makes any blood boil.

I moved my money from our shared account to mine.

I'm gaining back my life and I will fight for my baby's custody tooth and nail. That's my only concern.

I'm in Germany, perhaps the law will be on my side. Just taking it day by day.

He is oblivious to the fact that I'm leaving him. I have a meeting with the women's shelter lawyer on friday and with another shelter on Monday. Ill pick what I feel the best for my case.

Happy I will get informed.

I have no one else to share with, so sharing with this group.

Once all whatever image, I had of my future family or love was shattered, I can see clearer his abuse, I blame myself, it's my fault for staying with that man for 8 years. I should have left way before. It's my fault. I should have known better. I can't shake this fact. But I won't waste more time on him. He has no more power over me. My concern and focus will be on my son.

Update from my previous post

https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/s/GPNS3B6nD2

I have a 19 months old toddler with my abuser stbx husband. How did you end up parenting? My take is he will make my life a living hell. I'm very scared he will use my baby as leverage. He knows my weaknesses and will use them against me. I'm also working now only part time and solo parenting.

I have a 19 months old toddler with my abuser stbx husband. How did you end up parenting? My take is he will make my life a living hell. I'm very scared he will use my baby as leverage. He knows my weaknesses and will use them against me. I'm also working now only part time and solo parenting.

I have a 19 months old toddler with my abuser stbx husband. How did you end up parenting? My take is he will make my life a living hell. I'm very scared he will use my baby as leverage. He knows my weaknesses and will use them against me. I'm also working now only part time and solo parenting.

I have a 19 months old toddler with my abuser stbx husband. How did you end up parenting? My take is he will make my life a living hell. I'm very scared he will use my baby as leverage. He knows my weaknesses and will use them against me. I'm also working now only part time and solo parenting.

Just sharing that today I made the first step to leave my abuser.

Today I admit he is an abuser after giving him all the excuses under the sun and that will be his name from now on.

I'm very proud of myself. I don't want to share the details of the abuse because it would take hundreds of pages.

I called the violence against women line in Germany. They have been so supportive. They will give me councelling and legal support to leave him.

I have a 19 months old toddler, I'm so worried about custody battle because my abuser will try to gaslit everyone and he is ready for battle. I was an idiot and wrote so much stupid stuff on WhatsApp throughout the years and he keeps track and takes Screenshots. Extremely worried that he will make me look like crazy when he pushed every possible button to make me so.

Wish me luck cause it will be a long painful battle. I won't hide that I'm scared.

That man is accused of sexual harassment and molestation by many women, yet the dear prince mourns him.

I bet his excuse if ever confronted will be he wasn't legally convicted like the dear uncle despite the clear numerous evidence.

Enough said!

I have a 14 year old niece that I love so much. She was always so introverted.

Long story short, I learnt from her mom that she self harms and doesn't wanna stop and refuses therapy. Her parents are great people and so loving. So no abuse involved.

She recently expressed (on the very rare occasion she texted me) that she wanna have a vacation with me.

From one side I wanna help her and I'm happy she reached out, from the other side I have a toddler and my husband will be out for work.

I know people who self harm don't usually harm others but I'm so concerned for my toddler and the second point I'm scared if she has an loud crisis (normally she self harms quietly).

I love her and I would be happy if she stays without issues. I would take her around and love her and I'm happy she seeks me as her safe person.

What would you do?

Hello,

I've posted here before for my nephew.

He is a teenager. No hope is on the horizon he stops.

I just want to know if this is typical in teenager phase and i5 should lessen once he is an adult.

Our hearts are bleeding for him. We can't anymore.

I'm celebrating today a small win!

Getting back my life after a horrible postpartum period inflicted on me by my dear husband.

Just celebrating my slow return to independence, happiness and self fulfilment. I never imagined when I left my work Id be so delighted to return! I'm a lead engineer and it gets crazy with work sometimes.

But I'd take a shitty project anytime over a shitty husband in postpartum that exerted every insult, every financial abuse, every threat possible in the sun on me. (I posted here a while ago that he threatened to sleep with a woman in my bed if I don't sleep with him, that he wanted to throw me out of the house if I don't immediately clean, list is too long...).

I found my son a nursery in Germany and will start in 2 weeks. I couldn't be any happier to return. He will leave us and return to his work mid August 🙏

Just happy getting my life sorted and not gonna look back! And yes I will consult with a lawyer to know my rights and to get my life better sorted once I'm in Germany.

My husband put me through hell today. Literal hell, I was planning a nice day out (it's father's day) but he got so angry that I didn't start the car right away (I was checking some restaurant on google maps and didn't ignite the car right away). So he started screaming and bashing me. I screamed back from fear and exhaustion (not the first time he makes tantrums over stupid stuff). And I went upstairs and told him to go alone with my toddler. He went out and then when he came back and I was distant. He then proceeded to threaten to throw me out of the house if I don't clean the house right away. This went for a long time, from a threat to threat (like throwing my washed clothes if I don't hang them outside....)

He then threatened to throw me out when I told him ok call the police now and kick me out.

In the end, I got fed up and told him one more threat of any kind and I'm the one calling the police.

He backed away and called me dirty. While telling me my honeymoon life will be over.

Then now he wants sex and started telling me if I don't give him sex, he will bring over a woman and have sex in our bed.

I wanna leave his ass but he dragged me to another country and I need time to find a nursery for my son.

I'm exhausted, depleted. Being insulted and threatened all day long for stupid stuff.

I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to start working after my maternity in July, I'm not prepared, I'm depleted. Im worn out. I can leave with my son to my country but I need to find him a nursery and I need to ship my car back (otherwise 12 hours drive back home and he doesn't allow me to drive with my baby)

I'm Crying and completely crushed. Me and my baby we don't deserve this. I don't want them to take my baby away and get him only 50% of the times. I want my baby. I'm heartbroken

(some of his quotes: "He said Im a feminist, and that feminists should be alone". He said after I got vaccinated (for covid) I changed 🤣, he asked me to make him dinner after all of this...)

I have a teenage nephew that self harms with razor.

He is seeing a therapist and all.

He has fairly good parents and support system. No major trauma in his life.

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I'm trying to understand him in order for me to help him. What leads someone to do it? How can I help him?

Can he outgrow it?

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Thank you

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I'm currently still breastfeeding twice my toddler. I can't stand the weight anymore. Is there any way to just use glp1 suitable for breastfeeding that won't impact my baby? Thanks

My husband decided to book a weekend and enjoy himself with his colleagues on our wedding anniversary. He was taking a small boat driving license.

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He claimed he forgot our anniversary date and he paid already.

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He also booked a nice hotel with colleagues while I kept begging him to book us one before and he always claimed we can go back home same day without needing a hotel.

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Anyways, he comes back home all red from sailing in extreme sunlight.

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Today he is so sick, and guess who is tending to him and my 18 months toddler.

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He left us to enjoy himself and now I have to tend to him.

Also it was my birthday last week and he prepared nothing claiming his dad recently died and he doesn't have it in him.

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Warning trigger: Suicidal thoughts

My niece is 14 years old. She was always super introverted.

She never liked birthdays or gatherings or social interactions since she was 2

She has no autism. She is quite smart but super lazy.

She spends all her time on phone and tablets locked in the dark in her room and she doesn't sleep at night

Her parents discovered she was cutting herself and they took her to a professional to get checked. He gave her some medicine and now she explicitly says she wants to kill herself.

Her parents tried almost everything (giving her phone, not giving her...), she pushes them away, doesn't want any interaction. They asked her what can make her happy. She doesn't reply. She doesn't wanna go to school or her hobbies. She finds joy in nothing and most of the times she is just locked in her room.

My heart is breaking and I, don't know what i can do to help. Does anyone have such experience?

Any, help is appreciated.

My maternity ends next month and I'm restarting a highly demanding job next month online since he dragged me to another country (I'll be back to my main country in December fortunately).

He decided to invite his family members right when I start. I've been on maternity for 1.5 years with no one ever thinking of visiting.

When my baby was a newborn, I begged those family members to stay with me since he left me with a newborn for his new job. No one showed up. But now he invites them so they can go around and enjoy the beaches while I restart my super demanding job in engineering.

I tried to tell him that I'm nervous about restarting my job and I need order and focus and not to tend to other guests. He proceeds to tell me that I never anyway do anything at home (I cook, wash dishes, took 100 % care of the baby without any help or nursery... ). He tells me also that his ex was asocial that's why he left her.

He tells me if I don't like it to leave to my other rented home in my original country (I have no arranged nursery there). This man is making it so hard.

My husband treated me like garbage basically few days ago in front of his family after his father's death for completely stupid stuff (story that will get your blood boiling). He dragged me to the municipality (at 8am, our airplane at 11am) in italy while staying at his parents home to check divorce proceedings and after we came back from the municipality he tried to hug and kiss me and brushed it off as my fault, then lots of threats, lots of insults...then lots of lets make peace...

And he has no intention of divorcing me unfortunately, I'm in no place to divorce him now as I'm re-starting work next month and I will consult with a lawyer in 6 months when Im back to my main residency in europe (he dragged me while on maternity to another country, another shitty story).

Long story short, he keeps guilt tripping me for every small thing that doesn't go his way now saying his dad just died and I need to be gentle with him (his dad had severe Parkinson and was basically a plant for the last few years, death came to him as mercy honestly). I felt for him, I cried for his dad but It's not my fault he died and I shouldn't be a punching bag while dealing with a baby.

Long story short, it's my husband's birthday and after the shit he put me through, I originally decided not to do anything just a simple happy birthday. But I changed my mind. I bought him a happy birthday card with a Pig on it. And a Peppa Pig Birthday cake. I will write on the card happy Birthday Pappa Pig and scratch the e.

That’s it.

I have no intention to insult the pigs. They are gentle creatures.

Fuck him