u/V606R

"I'm a beginner, I barely understand how big the programming world is. And I don't know how to express my feelings the right way. Please be patient.

Hey, I'm a second-year college student who studies Computer Science. I'm learning Java at the university; it's fun and all. This summer, I decided to learn C#, and I did. I finished all its basics in only 2-3 days, and I memorized it well.

I'm trying to understand logic, how to fix problems, how to make something that actually works, and I think I'm starting to understand it. So I decided to build my own small projects because I'm in love with C# for some reason, so I opened my IDE and Gemini.

I started to code, then Gemini suggested that I should use the HTTP library (since my project was about pulling some data from the browser).

Then it hit me, I don't know what the HTTP library is. Should I learn it? Am I wrong for making the AI do the work and me just watching without understanding and memorizing the library's codes? Do experts use AI to put a bunch of code into their projects? Should i memorise the library it self?

I feel guilty and like am betraying my self, i want TO LEARN it my self.

Am i doing good? Am i doing bad? I need an expert pov.

TLDR;

Should i learn and memorise librarys? ( like the http library for example ) or just make AI do the work?

Please, do not judge me, i dont normally vent, am just trying to express what am feeling cuz i dont know what am i, its a long ride, grab a coffee

I am a 19 man, currently in college. I face extreme difficulty in expressing myself and understanding my feelings. Throughout my life, I have never been used to venting or asking anyone for help, I got used to suppressing my sadness and anger because my community and environment taught me in a non-direct way that showing emotions is a weakness, for the past four years, I thought I understood myself and knew my purpose in life, but right now, specifically this month, everything fell apart. I went back to square one, I don't understand my emotions, I don't know who I am, and I don't realize the reason for my existence.

I was raised indirectly on the belief that free time and playing mean laziness and worthlessness, and that my value is solely tied to how productive and hardworking I am compared to others my age. My father doesn't see my achievements; when I joined a college club completely outside my major to learn and expand my experiences, I was met with criticism and rejection instead of encouragement, i thought he would support me, i thought he would be as excited as i am. And when I practice my hobbies in my room, like learning new skills, programming simple games, or drawing, it is seen as wasting my time on trivialities, while I am compared to others my age who work and make money, i dont know how, but as my father said yesterday, somehow they are making money, i learned that their opinion is always "right", and anything else I do will get me nowhere. Do I have to study all the time just to get their praise? Am I allowed to enjoy my time? I don't know.

I am an isolated person by nature and I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. This fear of people started when I was young, in the second grade. I was an innocent kid who was terrified of the sound of thunder. On a rainy day, I cried out of sheer terror in the middle of the classroom. Instead of calming me down, the teacher decided to mock me and made the students laugh at me. In that moment, my terror shifted from the thunder to the people around me. I started preferring to stay alone in my room, away from the noise of human beings. This makes the idea of going to a therapist very difficult for me, in addition to my financial obstacle as a student since I cannot afford online sessions.

For the past ten years, I swear I cannot remember receiving a hug, a word of pride, or praise. I was built like a machine that works but does not feel, to the point where I thought this was completely normal. Now, at 19, I find myself watching with heartache how my mother shows affection to my younger brother, wishing I could have just a little bit of that. I started trying to achieve things, no matter how small, just to get a tiny word of praise from her. Sometimes I feel pathetic and crazy for seeking this kind of attention, but I finally realized that I desperately lack the feeling of being valued, i have zero idea where to find it, and searching for it still make me feel pathetic, i cry a lot when I am alone, but my crying never lasts for more than two minutes before I suddenly stop; I don't know if this short time is enough to release everything I have held in without anyone knowing.

The pressure is mounting on me, especially after my uncle passed away when he was young, which made me realize that I am my father's only support and the next person responsible for the house if anything bad happens to him, God forbid. This adds a massive weight on my shoulders and I don't know what I'm supposed to feel in certain moments. Lately, many dark thoughts have been coming to me like "what's the point? You can literally end all your suffering with one move, and we all know what it is." But because of my religion, I am not allowed to do it, and I thank my religion for that.

Am I human? Am I being treated as a human being? Do my feelings have value? I don't know who I am, and I don't understand my emotions. I am a person who doesn't like to be angry or sad. My dreams are very simple: I just want to live in peace, in quiet isolation away from the noise of the world, with someone I love.

As i said, i have never vented, i never tried to, am just desperate, i dont understand what am i supposed to do anymore, if you are someone who understands the human's feeling and emotions i will be glad if you helped me, you have absolutely no idea about how ashamed i am for posting my raw emotions like this, thank you for reading.

Please, do not judge me, i dont normally vent, am just trying to express what am feeling cuz i dont know what am i, its a long ride, grab a coffee

I am a 19 man, currently in college. I face extreme difficulty in expressing myself and understanding my feelings. Throughout my life, I have never been used to venting or asking anyone for help, I got used to suppressing my sadness and anger because my community and environment taught me in a non-direct way that showing emotions is a weakness, for the past four years, I thought I understood myself and knew my purpose in life, but right now, specifically this month, everything fell apart. I went back to square one, I don't understand my emotions, I don't know who I am, and I don't realize the reason for my existence.

I was raised indirectly on the belief that free time and playing mean laziness and worthlessness, and that my value is solely tied to how productive and hardworking I am compared to others my age. My father doesn't see my achievements; when I joined a college club completely outside my major to learn and expand my experiences, I was met with criticism and rejection instead of encouragement, i thought he would support me, i thought he would be as excited as i am. And when I practice my hobbies in my room, like learning new skills, programming simple games, or drawing, it is seen as wasting my time on trivialities, while I am compared to others my age who work and make money, i dont know how, but as my father said yesterday, somehow they are making money, i learned that their opinion is always "right", and anything else I do will get me nowhere. Do I have to study all the time just to get their praise? Am I allowed to enjoy my time? I don't know.

I am an isolated person by nature and I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. This fear of people started when I was young, in the second grade. I was an innocent kid who was terrified of the sound of thunder. On a rainy day, I cried out of sheer terror in the middle of the classroom. Instead of calming me down, the teacher decided to mock me and made the students laugh at me. In that moment, my terror shifted from the thunder to the people around me. I started preferring to stay alone in my room, away from the noise of human beings. This makes the idea of going to a therapist very difficult for me, in addition to my financial obstacle as a student since I cannot afford online sessions.

For the past ten years, I swear I cannot remember receiving a hug, a word of pride, or praise. I was built like a machine that works but does not feel, to the point where I thought this was completely normal. Now, at 19, I find myself watching with heartache how my mother shows affection to my younger brother, wishing I could have just a little bit of that. I started trying to achieve things, no matter how small, just to get a tiny word of praise from her. Sometimes I feel pathetic and crazy for seeking this kind of attention, but I finally realized that I desperately lack the feeling of being valued, i have zero idea where to find it, and searching for it still make me feel pathetic, i cry a lot when I am alone, but my crying never lasts for more than two minutes before I suddenly stop; I don't know if this short time is enough to release everything I have held in without anyone knowing.

The pressure is mounting on me, especially after my uncle passed away when he was young, which made me realize that I am my father's only support and the next person responsible for the house if anything bad happens to him, God forbid. This adds a massive weight on my shoulders and I don't know what I'm supposed to feel in certain moments. Lately, many dark thoughts have been coming to me like "what's the point? You can literally end all your suffering with one move, and we all know what it is." But because of my religion, I am not allowed to do it, and I thank my religion for that.

Am I human? Am I being treated as a human being? Do my feelings have value? I don't know who I am, and I don't understand my emotions. I am a person who doesn't like to be angry or sad. My dreams are very simple: I just want to live in peace, in quiet isolation away from the noise of the world, with someone I love.

As i said, i have never vented, i never tried to, am just desperate, i dont understand what am i supposed to do anymore, if you are someone who understands the human's feeling and emotions i will be glad if you helped me, thank you for reading.

Please, do not judge me, i dont normally vent, am just trying to express what am feeling cuz i dont know what am i, its a long ride, grab a coffee

I am a 19 man, currently in college. I face extreme difficulty in expressing myself and understanding my feelings. Throughout my life, I have never been used to venting or asking anyone for help, I got used to suppressing my sadness and anger because my community and environment taught me in a non-direct way that showing emotions is a weakness, for the past four years, I thought I understood myself and knew my purpose in life, but right now, specifically this month, everything fell apart. I went back to square one, I don't understand my emotions, I don't know who I am, and I don't realize the reason for my existence.

I was raised indirectly on the belief that free time and playing mean laziness and worthlessness, and that my value is solely tied to how productive and hardworking I am compared to others my age. My father doesn't see my achievements; when I joined a college club completely outside my major to learn and expand my experiences, I was met with criticism and rejection instead of encouragement, i thought he would support me, i thought he would be as excited as i am. And when I practice my hobbies in my room, like learning new skills, programming simple games, or drawing, it is seen as wasting my time on trivialities, while I am compared to others my age who work and make money, i dont know how, but as my father said yesterday, somehow they are making money, i learned that their opinion is always "right", and anything else I do will get me nowhere. Do I have to study all the time just to get their praise? Am I allowed to enjoy my time? I don't know.

I am an isolated person by nature and I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. This fear of people started when I was young, in the second grade. I was an innocent kid who was terrified of the sound of thunder. On a rainy day, I cried out of sheer terror in the middle of the classroom. Instead of calming me down, the teacher decided to mock me and made the students laugh at me. In that moment, my terror shifted from the thunder to the people around me. I started preferring to stay alone in my room, away from the noise of human beings. This makes the idea of going to a therapist very difficult for me, in addition to my financial obstacle as a student since I cannot afford online sessions.

For the past ten years, I swear I cannot remember receiving a hug, a word of pride, or praise. I was built like a machine that works but does not feel, to the point where I thought this was completely normal. Now, at 19, I find myself watching with heartache how my mother shows affection to my younger brother, wishing I could have just a little bit of that. I started trying to achieve things, no matter how small, just to get a tiny word of praise from her. Sometimes I feel pathetic and crazy for seeking this kind of attention, but I finally realized that I desperately lack the feeling of being valued, i have zero idea where to find it, and searching for it still make me feel pathetic, i cry a lot when I am alone, but my crying never lasts for more than two minutes before I suddenly stop; I don't know if this short time is enough to release everything I have held in without anyone knowing.

The pressure is mounting on me, especially after my uncle passed away when he was young, which made me realize that I am my father's only support and the next person responsible for the house if anything bad happens to him, God forbid. This adds a massive weight on my shoulders and I don't know what I'm supposed to feel in certain moments. Lately, many dark thoughts have been coming to me like "what's the point? You can literally end all your suffering with one move, and we all know what it is." But because of my religion, I am not allowed to do it, and I thank my religion for that.

Am I human? Am I being treated as a human being? Do my feelings have value? I don't know who I am, and I don't understand my emotions. I am a person who doesn't like to be angry or sad. My dreams are very simple: I just want to live in peace, in quiet isolation away from the noise of the world, with someone I love.

As i said, i have never vented, i never tried to, am just desperate, i dont understand what am i supposed to do anymore, if you are someone who understands the human's feeling and emotions i will be glad if you helped me, you have absolutely no idea about how ashamed i am for posting my raw emotions like this, thank you for reading.

Please, do not judge me, i dont normally vent, am just trying to express what am feeling cuz i dont know what am i, its a long ride, grab a coffee

I am a 19 man, currently in college. I face extreme difficulty in expressing myself and understanding my feelings. Throughout my life, I have never been used to venting or asking anyone for help, I got used to suppressing my sadness and anger because my community and environment taught me in a non-direct way that showing emotions is a weakness, for the past four years, I thought I understood myself and knew my purpose in life, but right now, specifically this month, everything fell apart. I went back to square one, I don't understand my emotions, I don't know who I am, and I don't realize the reason for my existence.

I was raised indirectly on the belief that free time and playing mean laziness and worthlessness, and that my value is solely tied to how productive and hardworking I am compared to others my age. My father doesn't see my achievements; when I joined a college club completely outside my major to learn and expand my experiences, I was met with criticism and rejection instead of encouragement, i thought he would support me, i thought he would be as excited as i am. And when I practice my hobbies in my room, like learning new skills, programming simple games, or drawing, it is seen as wasting my time on trivialities, while I am compared to others my age who work and make money, i dont know how, but as my father said yesterday, somehow they are making money, i learned that their opinion is always "right", and anything else I do will get me nowhere. Do I have to study all the time just to get their praise? Am I allowed to enjoy my time? I don't know.

I am an isolated person by nature and I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. This fear of people started when I was young, in the second grade. I was an innocent kid who was terrified of the sound of thunder. On a rainy day, I cried out of sheer terror in the middle of the classroom. Instead of calming me down, the teacher decided to mock me and made the students laugh at me. In that moment, my terror shifted from the thunder to the people around me. I started preferring to stay alone in my room, away from the noise of human beings. This makes the idea of going to a therapist very difficult for me, in addition to my financial obstacle as a student since I cannot afford online sessions.

For the past ten years, I swear I cannot remember receiving a hug, a word of pride, or praise. I was built like a machine that works but does not feel, to the point where I thought this was completely normal. Now, at 19, I find myself watching with heartache how my mother shows affection to my younger brother, wishing I could have just a little bit of that. I started trying to achieve things, no matter how small, just to get a tiny word of praise from her. Sometimes I feel pathetic and crazy for seeking this kind of attention, but I finally realized that I desperately lack the feeling of being valued, i have zero idea where to find it, and searching for it still make me feel pathetic, i cry a lot when I am alone, but my crying never lasts for more than two minutes before I suddenly stop; I don't know if this short time is enough to release everything I have held in without anyone knowing.

The pressure is mounting on me, especially after my uncle passed away when he was young, which made me realize that I am my father's only support and the next person responsible for the house if anything bad happens to him, God forbid. This adds a massive weight on my shoulders and I don't know what I'm supposed to feel in certain moments. Lately, many dark thoughts have been coming to me like "what's the point? You can literally end all your suffering with one move, and we all know what it is." But because of my religion, I am not allowed to do it, and I thank my religion for that.

Am I human? Am I being treated as a human being? Do my feelings have value? I don't know who I am, and I don't understand my emotions. I am a person who doesn't like to be angry or sad. My dreams are very simple: I just want to live in peace, in quiet isolation away from the noise of the world, with someone I love.

As i said, i have never vented, i never tried to, am just desperate, i dont understand what am i supposed to do anymore, if you are someone who understands the human's feeling and emotions i will be glad if you helped me, thank you for reading.

Hey everyone, am a second year collage student, am studying CS rn, and am starting to build small programmes, 10 minutes ago i just build a simple valorant character randomizer just to test my skills, and it worked, and i want to do something better and something the ppl actually need.

So my idea is, i will make a small app, fast, completely absolutely free "no ads", just something for me and the people, the app will show you line ups of every character, on every map, its just something for me and the ppl to enjoy.

I just want to know if ppl actually will use it, it will be open source so other ppl can modify it as they like, what do yall think?

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله، اذا انتي بنت او الي عنده ام - اخت - اي بنت بالبيت مهتمة بالملابس والماركات والخ، خليهم يجابون على الاسئلة ذي في قوقل فورم، الاسئلة ذي لواحد من الشباب بالجامعة ويحتاج عدد معين من الاجوبة

اذا ما فتح معك يعني وصل الحد من الاجوبة، يعطيكم العافية