u/VidiVeni98

I previously made some posts inviting people out to come play board games with me and an older gentleman here in town who had posted on Meetup about wanting to make new friends.

I’m sorry to say that I can’t endorse this activity any more, due to some frankly unhinged behavior from said man.

I'm not posting this to ridicule anyone, or call anyone out, but because I'd feel horrible if someone attended that event and had a negative experience because I had invited people out. I'm trying to take accountability for being so quick to endorse a stranger I'd hardly met. Sorry about that :/

Sometimes, the old man with no friends at the end of his life isn’t a case of bad luck: sometimes, he has no friends because he’s generally abrasive and hostile to people, and makes everyone uncomfortable. I'm all for meeting people where they are at, but p

Stay safe out there, people! Keep meeting up, supporting one another, etc. Because we are all in this together. Everyone is lonely as hell; it's not just you.

I just caution you against going out to Denny’s on Saturday afternoons

I've noticed this phenomenon (and am sure somebody must've already realized this and developed a term for it) where two words of separate origins are constructed differently, with definitions almost synonymous, while also being spelled out and spoken in a similar fashion.

Consider:

education: the process of receiving or giving systematic instruction; an enlightening experience

• coming from Latin:
  • educare: bring up; rear; nourish; train/mold
• from
  • educere: bring out; to lead forth; draw out
• from
  • educo = ex- (out) and duco (to lead)
• and the Proto-Indo European
  • *dewk-: to draw; pull

as well as

edification: the instruction or improvement of a person morally or intellectually.

• coming from Latin:
  • aedificatio: to build a house or otherwise construct something,
• from
  • aedis/aediis: a house, dwelling, or otherwise sacred place; temple; shrine
• and
  • facere: to make or do
• and PIE
  • *dhe-: to set, or to put

Two completely different origins. Did edification come to mean a similar thing to education because people found the words similar and conflated them? I can see the clear influence from first principles, but the words didn't come from the same period of time (edification didn't start meaning intellectual development until the late middle ages, iirc), and part of me wonders if there wasn't some influence there, subconscious or otherwise.

similarly, we have this pairing, which often trips people up when talking about gasses:

nauseous: causing nausea; sickening

• coming from Latin:
  • nauseōsus: causing nausea
• from the Greek:
  • nausia: ship-sickness
• which literally comes from
  • naus: ship

and

noxious: harmful to loving things; injurious

• from Latin:
  • noxius: harmful; injurious
• stemming from
  • noxa: harm; injury
• and
  • nocer̄e: to hurt
• and PIE:
  • *nek-: death

I'm interested to see if anyone has any other examples!

We can’t go back and change the past, or undo what’s happened to us; all we can do is make sure we didn’t suffer through all of it for nothing. 

I was never meant to be a missionary. I know that for a fact, because if I was, I would have been accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I first tried to join, as a teenager, around fourteen years ago, when my mother converted. But I was rejected, for reasons out of my control; because that was not God’s will.

Instead, I was to go through the trials He set out for me: For seven long years, from ages 18-25, I walked my own Exodus. I was diagnosed with a mental condition so dire that the state deemed me unfit even to work. I spiraled into addiction, which festered, and grew into hate: I hated the world, and I hated all the people in it; I hated God for what I felt He had done to me, and I hated myself: for allowing all of it:

I faced homelessness. I faced violence at the hands of strangers, and extortion at the hands of those I thought I could trust. I lost everything. And the entire time, I was still grappling with my own self-destructive behavior: both indirect, like finding ways to cope, as well as outright, like scarring my arms and cutting myself, praying someone else could come and kill me because I didn’t have the courage to do it myself. And I felt like I deserved all of it. .

With nowhere to go, I went to the only family I had left. They had two spare bedrooms, but by that point I was so badly lost, that all they had to say was: 

“I can loan you a tent.”

But, just as the Exodus was God’s will, so too was all of that; because once I got my feet underneath me, I found myself uniquely positioned to hear, understand, and help others pull themselves up and out of those same straits.

I leveraged my experience into a position as a Peer Support Specialist at a rehab; I ran group therapy sessions, listening to and connecting with the countless men who were so lost; who truly felt as if society did not have a place for them. 

Later, I was promoted to Supportive Housing Case Manager: and it was only because of what I went through that I had the experience I needed to meet people where they were at. Because sometimes people aren’t ready for big changes like that just yet; change is hard: it’s unfamiliar; it’s terrifying. I don’t know how many times I said:

“Hey, I know you may not be ready for sobriety or employment or housing just yet. But dude, when’s the last time you saw a dentist? I can help with that. Or: how about we get you an ID so you can apply for food stamps?” 

And so it was that I was graced with the opportunity of being, for others, the person I had always prayed I had had to be there for me. I could provide them the tools and offer the support they needed to pull themselves up, just like I had. 

Everyone is on their own path, and while we cannot walk it for them, we can lighten their load as best we can. They have to do the work themselves: that’s the entire point. The trials God lays out for us are so much more than just obstacles to overcome: they are opportunities to grow as a person.

The beauty of escaping homelessness, or getting sober, or getting in shape, or getting that degree, or anything else worth doing, is knowing that you did this for yourself, because you deserve it. Happiness is the pursuit. We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves. And maybe not everyone is ready to do that work, but that should not stop us from giving them every chance we can. 

So we offer support, and pray that they will find their way. You let them know: 

“When you decide you are ready to make that change, I will be there for you. And I believe in you.”

And that’s part of the beauty of faith, too: that my agency ends at the tip of my nose. It’s not my business what anyone else believes in, or thinks is right for them. It’s a personal decision, and we don’t force it. If we did, it wouldn’t be faith.

When I have nobody to help me, I can lean on my faith. But there are so many people who do not have that. For most of my life, I didn’t, either. And when you’ve seen the things I have seen, heard the stories of what some of our brothers and sisters are going through, every day: could you ever blame them for feeling alone?

Is it a child’s fault when they don’t know how to read, or to brush their teeth? Of course not. It means someone failed them. It is not their fault they do not know something they were never given the care and guidance needed to learn.

We cannot blame someone for not knowing something. We are told to forgive them, for they know not what they do. 

It is God’s will that we allow Him to work through us by loving those who need it, even if sometimes they do not want it: because when someone is suicidal, they often don’t want help, either; that doesn’t mean we stop trying.

So what do we do for those who are lost? For those who lash out and attack us when we try to help them find their way? We turn the other cheek, and we love them. It doesn’t matter whether or not they believe in God; we just need to show them that somebody believes in them.

Nobody is ever so lost that they can’t get back home again.

I was never meant to be a missionary. I know that for a fact, because if I was, I would have been accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I first tried to join, as a teenager, around fourteen years ago, when my mother converted.

But I was rejected, for reasons out of my control; because that was not God’s will.

Instead, I was to go through the trials He set out for me: I faced homelessness, extortion at the hands of others, destructive behavior from my own hands, and mental illness so dire that the state deemed me unfit even to work.

For seven long years, from the age eighteen to twenty-five, I went through my own Exodus. I lost everything: family, friends, safety, and sanity.

But, just as the Exodus was God’s will, so too were those trials. Because once I got my feet underneath me, I found myself uniquely positioned to hear, understand, and help others pull themselves up and out of those same straits.

I used my experience to get a position as a Peer Support Specialist at a rehabilitation clinic, where I ran group therapy sessions, listening to and connecting with the countless men who were so lost; who truly felt as if society did not have a place for them. 

Then, I was promoted to a Supportive Housing Case Manager, and I graced with the privilege of going out to homeless encampments with the intent of convincing society’s hidden underclass to let their guard down, and let someone in so we could help.  

So I had the privilege of being, for them, the person I had always prayed I had had to be there for me.

It is only because of what I went through that I had the experience I needed to meet people where they were at; I could provide them the tools and offer the support they needed to pull themselves up, like I had to. 

Often, people aren’t ready to actuate change quite yet. Change is scary. But I loved that job because I could, again: meet them where they were at.

“Hey, I know you may not be ready for sobriety or employment just yet. But dude, when’s the last time you saw a dentist? I can help with that. Or: how about we get you an ID so you can apply for food stamps?” 

Hey; every little bit helps.

Everyone is on their own path, and we cannot walk it for them; they have to do it themselves:  when you’re helping someone recover from addiction, or trauma, or mental illness, you can’t do the work for them. That is on them. 

And that’s not a bad thing! We wouldn’t want to rob someone of their chance at spiritual development, even if we could. The trials God lays out for us are so much more than just obstacles to overcome; they are opportunities to grow as a person.

Part of the beauty of getting in shape, or maintaining sobriety, or getting that degree, or anything else worth doing, is knowing that you did this for yourself, because you deserve it. Happiness is the pursuit. We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves. Maybe not everyone is ready to do that work, but that should not stop us from giving them every opportunity we can. 

So all you can do is help lighten their load as they walk their path, and pray that they will find their way. You let them know: 

“When you decide you are ready to make that change, and become the person you deserve to be, I will be there for you. And I believe in you.”

And that’s part of the beauty of faith, too: that my agency ends at the tip of my nose. It’s not my business what anyone else believes in, or thinks is right for them. It’s a personal decision, and we don’t force it. If we did, it wouldn’t be faith.

When I had nobody to help me, I leant on my faith. But there are so many people who do not have that. And when you’ve seen the things I have seen, and heard the stories of what some of our brothers and sisters have been through, could you ever blame them for feeling alone?

Is it a child’s fault when they don’t know how to read, or to brush their teeth? Of course not. It means someone failed them. It is not their fault they do not know something they were never given the care and guidance needed to learn.

We cannot blame someone for not knowing something. We are told to forgive them, for they know not what they do. 

It is God’s will that we allow Him to work through us by loving those who need it, even if sometimes they do not want it. When someone is suicidal, they often don’t want help, either. But that does not mean we stop trying. Again: we forgive them, because they know not what they do.

So what do we do for those who are lost? For those who lash out and attack us when we try to help them find their way? We turn the other cheek, and we love them. We tell them that it does not matter whether or not they believe in God: we just want them to know that somebody believes in them.

Bored? Looking for something to do?

Lonely? All of us are just as lonely as you!

The world is terrible these days, so why not come play board games with strangers?

Last week was short notice, but we'll be there this Saturday, too! We'd love to have you :)

We'll be at Denny's on August 1st, at 3 PM!

Here's the Meetup board, if you want to let us know you're coming!
https://www.meetup.com/sierra-vista-gamers/events/315832897/?eventOrigin=group_upcoming_events

Text me if you have any questions: 5207329168

We're gonna be at Denny's at 3 pm today (Saturday, July 25, 2026)

We've got a small group coming already, but the more, the merrier! Text me for any questions:

520-732-9168

Nobody is ever so lost that they can’t get back home again.

I was never meant to be a missionary. I know that for a fact, because if I was, I would have been accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I first tried to join, as a teenager, around fourteen years ago, when my mother converted.

But I was rejected, for reasons out of my control; because that was not God’s will.

Instead, I was to go through the trials He set out for me: I faced homelessness, extortion at the hands of others, destructive behavior from my own hands, and mental illness so dire that the state deemed me unfit even to work.

For seven long years, from the age eighteen to twenty-five, I went through my own Exodus. I lost everything: family, friends, safety, and sanity.

But, just as the Exodus was God’s will, so too were those trials. Because once I got my feet underneath me, I found myself uniquely positioned to hear, understand, and help others pull themselves up and out of those same straits.

I used my experience to get a position as a Peer Support Specialist at a rehabilitation clinic, where I ran group therapy sessions, listening to and connecting with the countless men who were so lost; who truly felt as if society did not have a place for them. 

Then, I was promoted to a Supportive Housing Case Manager, and I graced with the privilege of going out to homeless encampments with the intent of convincing society’s hidden underclass to let their guard down, and let someone in so we could help.  

So I had the privilege of being, for them, the person I had always prayed I had had to be there for me.

It is only because of what I went through that I had the experience I needed to meet people where they were at; I could provide them the tools and offer the support they needed to pull themselves up, like I had to. 

Often, people aren’t ready to actuate change quite yet. Change is scary. But I loved that job because I could, again: meet them where they were at.

“Hey, I know you may not be ready for sobriety or employment just yet. But dude, when’s the last time you saw a dentist? I can help with that. Or: how about we get you an ID so you can apply for food stamps?” 

Hey; every little bit helps.

Everyone is on their own path, and we cannot walk it for them; they have to do it themselves:  when you’re helping someone recover from addiction, or trauma, or mental illness, you can’t do the work for them. That is on them. 

And that’s not a bad thing! We wouldn’t want to rob someone of their chance at spiritual development, even if we could. The trials God lays out for us are so much more than just obstacles to overcome; they are opportunities to grow as a person.

Part of the beauty of getting in shape, or maintaining sobriety, or getting that degree, or anything else worth doing, is knowing that you did this for yourself, because you deserve it. Happiness is the pursuit. We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves. Maybe not everyone is ready to do that work, but that should not stop us from giving them every opportunity we can. 

So all you can do is help lighten their load as they walk their path, and pray that they will find their way. You let them know: 

“When you decide you are ready to make that change, and become the person you deserve to be, I will be there for you. And I believe in you.”

And that’s part of the beauty of faith, too: that my agency ends at the tip of my nose. It’s not my business what anyone else believes in, or thinks is right for them. It’s a personal decision, and we don’t force it. If we did, it wouldn’t be faith.

When I had nobody to help me, I leant on my faith. But there are so many people who do not have that. And when you’ve seen the things I have seen, and heard the stories of what some of our brothers and sisters have been through, could you ever blame them for feeling alone?

Is it a child’s fault when they don’t know how to read, or to brush their teeth? Of course not. It means someone failed them. It is not their fault they do not know something they were never given the care and guidance needed to learn.

We cannot blame someone for not knowing something. We are told to forgive them, for they know not what they do. 

It is God’s will that we allow Him to work through us by loving those who need it, even if sometimes they do not want it. When someone is suicidal, they often don’t want help, either. But that does not mean we stop trying. Again: we forgive them, because they know not what they do.

So what do we do for those who are lost? For those who lash out and attack us when we try to help them find their way? We turn the other cheek, and we love them. We tell them that it does not matter whether or not they believe in God: we just want them to know that somebody believes in them.

How do you guys think I could go about trying to help people pursue self-betterment? I've finally found happiness, and am honestly horrified about how much time and energy and potential I wasted before I finally woke up.

And now, all I want to do is rouse people from this collective slumber so many of us have fallen into. I can't put it into words just exactly what it is; it's some combination of social media, doomscrolling, and (largely online) echo chambers that is acting to divide people and foment such animosity and vitriol we can see everywhere we look.

I want to "rehabilitate" "incels" (for lack of better terms; if you can think of any, please share!) and show them how much potential they have, and help them

I know I'm not perfect, and don't want to make it sound like I know the best for everyone, because I don't; I want to meet people where they are at, and help them become whatever person they wish they were.

How can I do this? I'd appreciate the input of anyone who has any idea of how I can be useful/helpful.

I started doing something this past April, and I've noticed it paying huge dividends: whenever I encounter a word I either don't know or can't adequately define out of context, I take note of it in my phone after I look it up. Then, at the end of the month, I write all the terms out longhand in a journal with their definitions. I find writing them with pen helps me remember them a lot better, as well as going over them each subsequent month and quizzing myself. I feel much more literate, and well-read since I've started this; people have commented on my expanded vocabulary, too, which is something I've always been self-conscious about. Here are the words and new terms I've learned over the past 4 months:

A priori

Abecedarian

Abeyance

Abject

Accretion

Acrid

Adumbratio

Aides-memoire

Alacrity (not just agility)

Ambrosial

Amerced

Ancillary

Aphorism

Apical meristem

Apokatastasis

Aptic

Arbitress

Architrave

Aretaic

Articulate

Asphaltus

Assayed

Assent

Assiduity

Assiduous

Associationism

Atavism

Attrition

Auger

Aureate (adjective and verb))

Austere

Autarchic

Aver

Axiomatic

Axon

Beard (verb)

Begirt

Behaviorism

Belial

Belles-letres

Benediction

Bier

Bituminous

Bourgeois

Buildent

Bulgeous

Bullion-dross

Cabir

Caliban

Cathexis

Chimerous

Chitlins

Chronotopic

Cintronella

Circumambulation

Circumspection

Clarions

Coelenterates

Cogent

Cogitate

Cogitating

Colloidal

Commensurable

Compeer

Compresence

Connote

Contrition

Copse

Cornice

Corsican

Cosmogonic

Countenance

Cryptomnesia

Cumbrous

Cutaneous

Daemonism

Debouched

Demiurge

Dendrite

Denounced

Deontic

Deposition

Descant

Descry

Desideratum

Diachronically

Diaphanous

Diaspora

Diastole

Dilettante

Din

Dint

Doleful

Dorian mood

Durst

Ecumenical

Eddying

Effete

Effluence

Eleusinian

Emergent

Emoluments

Empyreal

Enantiodromia

Encoiling

Endomycorrhizal

Enfilading

Enmity

Enormit(y)

Epigram

Epiphenomenon

Epistle

Ere

Erstwhile

Excerption

Exhortation

Exhorting

Exigent

Exiguous

Exosomatic

Expatiate

Exultation

Facultative

Fallibilism

Felicific

Fitts’s Law

Focile

Folk

Fracas

Frieze

Frivolity

Fructification/fructifier

Fughazi

Funereal

Gamut

Ganglion

Garrulous

Gazabo

Germane

Gerund

Gracile

Grail (verb)

Grunsel-edge

Gyrus

Harangue

Haughty

Headed

Heady

Heath

Heresiology

Hermitage

Hierophantic

Histrionic

Holocene

Hortatory

Hurraing

Ignominiously

Ignominy

Illumine

Importunity

Imposition

Indelibly

Indicant

Individuation

Indolent

Ineffable

Inexorable

Infirmities

Insular

Intercession

Interessant

Interlocutor

Internuncial

Introcosm

Inured

Inveigle

Inveterate

Invidious

Iridocyclitis

Ischemia

Jocose

Jocular

Jocund

Kalibash

Ken

Leaven/leavened

Locus

Lustre

Manifold

Manna

Marl

Matriculated

Meed

Menagerie

Metaphier

Metaphrand

Method of loci

Misoneism

Mnemonic

Monism

Naaman

Naptha

Nascent

Nathless

Neophyte

Neurosis

Nostrum

Noumenal

Obdurate

Obeisance

Obsequies

Obsequious

Obstreperous

Ontogeny/ontogenetic

Ontology/ontological

Opprobrious

Orgiastic

Ostensibly

Panache

Parlance

Parochialism

Parsimonious

Patent (adjective)

Pentimento

Perdition

Perfidious

Pernicious

Persnickety

Perspicacity

Perspicuous

Pertinacity

Petard

Petulantly

Phanera

Philately

Philote

Phlegmon

Phoneme

Phonemic

Pilasters

Pineal

Pitchy

Pithy

Plenitude

Pleroma

Pleromatic

Ponderous

Pontifical

Positivist

Potboilers

Precipitous

Precocious

Prehension

Preponderance

Presaging

Prevaricating

Prevenient

Privatio boni

Proffers

Propinquity

Prospectus

Provisional

Puerile

Puissant

Purposive

Putative

Pygmalion

Quadrant (tool)

Quailed

Querulous

Ramous

Recapitulation

Recked

Recrudescence

Referent

Relict

Reprisal

Reprobate

Repute

Reticular

Retiform

Ribald

Risible

Rood

Rookeries

Rotundum (alchemy)

Sagacious

Samsara

Satst

Scuffers

Seamy

Sedge

Self-effacing

Senex

Sensa

Seraphim

Serried

Singly

Slopulism

Sluice

Sola scriptura

Solicitous

Somatic

Somnambulistic

Sot

Sottish

Squall

Stadial

Stanchion

Strata

Stygian

Suasion

Succor

Supercilious

Supernal

Suppliant

Surly

Surreptitious

Swage

Swiftboating

Syllogism

Symbionts

Synoptic

Syntopical

Systole

Tacitly

Taciturn

Tantric

Telescope (verb, not literal)

Tensor

Theodicy

Threshing

Throng

Timbrel

Timorous

Titchenarian introspectionism

Titer

Torrid

Treble

Trepidatious

Tropism

Tutelage

Unalloyed

Unctuous

Union psychology

Unlettered

Unmoored

Uroboric autarchy

Urotic

Uxorious

Vacillation

Vacuous

Vales

Variorum

Verboten

Vernal

Vesper

Vicarially

Vociferous

Voulge

Waspy

Wont

Wonted

I can’t imagine how people can be so grumpy/hostile in VC straight away, before the game even starts!

Like, we’re playing a video game, dude! We are here to have fun! Why are you even here if you’re in such a sour mood? Is this your baseline?

I don’t understand :/

I've been told by a variety of people that I'm a good listener. Not only that, but I've been in the place you very well might be right now. I like to think that while we can't go back and change things we've been through, we can at least try and ensure we haven't been through them for nothing.

I don't know everything, and don't want to imply that I can understand what it is that brought you here, because I can't; all I can say is that whatever it is you're facing, you can make something good out of it. And if you need someone to help you find your way, I'm here.

I believe in you, friend :D even if you don't!

I'm sitting here, day after empty summer day, trying to better myself with the free time I've been graced with between semesters; but no amount of reading or exercise or music practice can satisfy that one craving I've always had: people.

I've always liked people. When the weather was nicer, this past spring, I would spend my off days walking ~6 miles to the nearest bus stop so I could just ride the line and interact with strangers. That was a decent use of time; it made me better at my day job, at least, because I got more and more comfortable with initiating conversations with strangers.

But now, in the summer? Between semesters? It's hell out there. By 9 AM it's already nearing 100 degrees: you can't just walk around and chat with strangers on the street. And there are no "third spaces" in this suburb, where you can go just to mingle and meet people. The closest thing to that would be going to some bar, spending way too much money on drinks, and getting in my head over trying to be outgoing while doing my best to not make anyone uncomfortable.

But tonight, while trying to learn the bass line to Australia by The Shins (by ear, since I want to get better at doing that,) I get a discord friend request:

Anime pfp,

generic, uwu-esque/feminine-sounding handle,

no mutual servers,

account age just shy of 2 years

no trace of an identity anywhere else on the internet

They speak vaguely, asking "why aren't you talking in game?" without mentioning anything specific. When I respond, clarifying that they've likely added me by mistake, they're amiable. And not just that, but they go on to introduce themselves; as if they were so intent on fixing a comms issue in a multiplayer game one second, but have ample time to talk to a random stranger the next.

They say they're 26. "Odd," I think; "I'd figure a scammer would try and pose as a younger woman, no?" But that's just me making assumptions about the demographics they're likely targeting. I'd think a honeypot targeting lonely losers on discord would be served better by posing as some barely-legal femboy or MPDG. 26 just seems so odd, partly because it would put us just one year apart.

Makes me wonder how "random" this friend request is; maybe there's some database out there that has my discord handle lagged with a birthday. Hells, in 2026, it's likely there's some board out there where it's all been laid out together as nicely as possible, all for the purpose of helping scammers feign synchronicity. It makes me think about the person whose job it likely is to put something like that together: is it some script kiddie holding the database together to try and demonstrate competence, so they can move up their corporate ladder?

Or is it one of the people who contributes to anonymous postings online because they found that one specific thing their brain is broken for and decided to jump in and take up the mantle, like those blessed souls who vet Wikipedia sources or write patches for Skyrim mods?

Whomever they are, maybe it'd be nice to meet them. It's not quite as direct as chatting with strangers on the bus, but it's better than nothing, isn't it?

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