Hi!! My Dad unexpectedly passed on August 20th last summer & since we are (somehow??) approaching the one year, I want to do something solo to feel closer to him. I’ve been wanting to go to Lilydale for a while now even though I know not one thing about it lol, can anyone tell me what a day trip to Lilydale entails and if there is anything specific I should be looking to do there?
I’ve been spiraling because I need this dress for the end of July in a large. Now it’s sold out on the Mumu website. If anyone is selling one or has seen one listed on Poshmark, Mercari, eBay, Facebook Marketplace, etc., I’d be so grateful! I’m willing to pay shipping, and also open to dupes!
I’ve been prescribed adderall for 10+ years. Probably a year ago my dr increased my dose to 60mg instant a day (I was giving them to my roommate at that time.) Once my dad passed in August I was his next of kin since his will was not signed(I’m 27) and since then I have entered what one would call a pretty solid problem.
Has anyone stopped abusing their adderall without intense inpatient treatment? With handling my Dad’s estate, my small business, my career as a wedding coordinator, and my dog it is not realistic for me to go into treatment anywhere for an extended period of time but I’m very aware I need to pump the breaks. I guess I’m very nervous about the withdrawal, but eventually will have to suck it up. Just looking for any advice & insight 🙌🏼
Am I… losing my mind?
I lost my dad unexpectedly about 10 months ago, and lately I can’t tell if I’m grieving or losing my mind.
I’m 27. Since he died, I’ve become the next of kin and have been dealing with an unsigned will, probate, legal responsibilities, and everything that comes with losing a parent while my brother sits back and collects checks from me. While everyone else seems to have moved forward, I feel stuck carrying the weight of his death every day.
I miss my dad more than I can put into words. Lately, it feels like I’m grasping at straws trying to make sure his existence isn’t forgotten.
My brother was already engaged when my dad died, and it feels like the last year was consumed by wedding planning, showers, and preparing for the wedding that happened last week. Looking back, I even feel like my dad’s funeral and services were overshadowed by wedding chatter. There always seemed to be another wedding detail to discuss while I was still trying to process losing my dad.
I’m an event coordinator, and I ended up handling much of the planning, logistics, coordination, and problem-solving for both the shower and wedding. Professionally, those services would have cost around $4,800, not including the signage I hand made, items of mine I used and other things I contributed.
I don’t care that I wasn’t paid. It’s that nobody acknowledged it. My brother and his wife never thanked me. My mom never thanked me. When my mom texted a family groupchat telling my aunts thank you for picking up cookies (lol) I mentioned feeling hurt, my mom told me family doesn’t need thank-yous because helping family is expected.
My brother was incredibly close with my dad, which makes some of this even more confusing to understand. My brother’s wife has no relationship with her own father and had said over the years that my dad could be triggering because he reminded her of that relationship. I tried to be understanding, but I struggled to understand why that even mattered or was ever told to me.
At the wedding, less than a year after my dad died, there wasn’t a photo of him displayed. No memorial table. No framed picture. No tribute. No mention during a speech. Nothing. (I didn’t even end up
doing a speech because my brother pissed me off asking me not to “make it all about Dad” when I had something pretty lovely written up)
I know the wedding was about my brother and his wife, not my dad. But after spending the last year helping make that day happen, it was heartbreaking to feel like my dad’s presence didn’t matter enough to warrant even a photograph and watching his side of the family realize too.
Then came yesterday, first Father’s Day without him.
I went to my mom’s house to get her laptop so I could watch old videos of my dad before going to the cemetery. When I walked in, there was a Father’s Day gift on the counter for my stepfather from my brother and his wife. I honestly have no memory of my stepfather ever receiving a Father’s Day gift before, so seeing that while I was looking for videos of my dead father felt like ?????
My brother also didn’t reach out that yesterday. No text. No call. Nothing.
I think that’s what so much of this comes down to. My birthday this year felt like an afterthought. Being nominated for a professional award (and winning) felt like an afterthought. Everything about me feels like an afterthought. It feels like I’ve spent the last year showing up for everyone else while quietly hoping someone would show up for me. My brother and his wife want kids ASAP, the fear I have that I will continue to live in their world like this forever is really overwhelming.
When I try to talk about any of this, I end up feeling difficult, dramatic, irrational, or crazy. I don’t know if I’m grieving my dad, grieving the family relationships I thought I had, or just exhausted from carrying all of this for so long.
I just know that I miss my dad every day, and it feels like I’m fighting to keep his memory present while everyone else is ready to move on.
Has anyone else experienced grief like this? Not just sadness, but anger, resentment, loneliness, and feeling unseen by the people closest to you?
I honestly can’t tell if what I’m feeling is normal grief anymore or if I’m losing my mind.
I lost my dad unexpectedly about 10 months ago, and lately I can’t tell if I’m grieving or losing my mind.
I’m 27. Since he died, I’ve become the next of kin and have been dealing with an unsigned will, probate, legal responsibilities, and everything that comes with losing a parent while my brother sits back and collects checks from me. While everyone else seems to have moved forward, I feel stuck carrying the weight of his death every day.
I miss my dad more than I can put into words. Lately, it feels like I’m grasping at straws trying to make sure his existence isn’t forgotten.
My brother was already engaged when my dad died, and it feels like the last year was consumed by wedding planning, showers, and preparing for the wedding that happened last week. Looking back, I even feel like my dad’s funeral and services were overshadowed by wedding chatter. There always seemed to be another wedding detail to discuss while I was still trying to process losing my dad.
I’m an event coordinator, and I ended up handling much of the planning, logistics, coordination, and problem-solving for both the shower and wedding. Professionally, those services would have cost around $4,800, not including the signage I hand made, items of mine I used and other things I contributed.
I don’t care that I wasn’t paid. It’s that nobody acknowledged it. My brother and his wife never thanked me. My mom never thanked me. When my mom texted a family groupchat telling my aunts thank you for picking up cookies (lol) I mentioned feeling hurt, my mom told me family doesn’t need thank-yous because helping family is expected.
My brother was incredibly close with my dad, which makes some of this even more confusing to understand. My brother’s wife has no relationship with her own father and had said over the years that my dad could be triggering because he reminded her of that relationship. I tried to be understanding, but I struggled to understand why that even mattered or was ever told to me.
At the wedding, less than a year after my dad died, there wasn’t a photo of him displayed. No memorial table. No framed picture. No tribute. No mention during a speech. Nothing. (I didn’t even end up
doing a speech because my brother pissed me off asking me not to “make it all about Dad” when I had something pretty lovely written up)
I know the wedding was about my brother and his wife, not my dad. But after spending the last year helping make that day happen, it was heartbreaking to feel like my dad’s presence didn’t matter enough to warrant even a photograph and watching his side of the family realize too.
Then came yesterday, first Father’s Day without him.
I went to my mom’s house to get her laptop so I could watch old videos of my dad before going to the cemetery. When I walked in, there was a Father’s Day gift on the counter for my stepfather from my brother and his wife. I honestly have no memory of my stepfather ever receiving a Father’s Day gift before, so seeing that while I was looking for videos of my dead father felt like ?????
My brother also didn’t reach out that yesterday. No text. No call. Nothing.
I think that’s what so much of this comes down to. My birthday this year felt like an afterthought. Being nominated for a professional award (and winning) felt like an afterthought. Everything about me feels like an afterthought. It feels like I’ve spent the last year showing up for everyone else while quietly hoping someone would show up for me. My brother and his wife want kids ASAP, the fear I have that I will continue to live in their world like this forever is really overwhelming.
When I try to talk about any of this, I end up being called difficult, dramatic, irrational, or crazy. I don’t know if I’m grieving my dad, grieving the family relationships I thought I had, or just exhausted from carrying all of this for so long.
I just know that I miss my dad every day, and it feels like I’m fighting to keep his memory present while everyone else is ready to move on.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Not just sadness, but anger, resentment, loneliness, and feeling unseen by the people closest to you?
I honestly can’t tell if what I’m feeling is normal grief anymore or if I’m losing my mind.
Looking for therapist recommendations in the Buffalo/WNY area for both myself and my mom. My dad passed away unexpectedly in August and since then our relationship has deteriorated significantly. I’m struggling with my grief, and I feel like the loss has highlighted a lot of underlying issues in our relationship that I’m having a hard time navigating on my own.
I’m looking for someone experienced with grief, family dynamics, parent-adult child relationships, and family therapy. My hope is to find a therapist who could potentially work with both of us, either together or separately, to help improve communication and address some of the hurt that’s built up over the past 10 months
I have Blue Cross Blue Shield, and my mom has teacher insurance (Empire Plan). I’d strongly prefer in-person sessions rather than virtual.
Has anyone had a particularly good experience with a therapist or counseling practice in the Buffalo area that you’d recommend?
Hi everyone!
My friend and I own a small business where we create custom event signage and also maintain an inventory of wedding decor for our coordinating business.
We’re quickly outgrowing our current storage situation. For perspective, the seating chart I’m currently working on is 7 feet tall by 4 feet wide, so we need space for oversized signs, decor inventory, easels, candles, and other event items.
We’ve been considering renting a storage unit because it’s the most budget-friendly option, but I’m unsure about the logistics. Are you allowed to work out of a storage unit in New York State, or are they strictly for storage? We’d ideally love a space where we could organize inventory, prep for weddings, and occasionally work on signage.
Most commercial spaces I’ve found are $3,000+ per month, which is way beyond our budget right now.
For those of in a similar situation:
**What type of space do you rent?
**How much do you pay?
**Did you start with a storage unit?
**Any creative or affordable solutions you’d recommend?
Thank you so much!
Looking for Buffalo/WNY resources or advice for someone in crisis.
My boyfriend/ex is currently dealing with a very severe gambling addiction and mental health crisis. Over the last 24 hours things have escalated heavily. He has no money, no car, no stable place to stay tonight, and very little support left around him right now besides me. He has barely slept, is extremely emotionally overwhelmed, and I genuinely believe he needs professional help at this point or things are going to just keep getting darker than they already have.
I care about him deeply but I also cannot safely have him come back to my apartment so I’m trying to navigate this without making the situation worse or enabling things further. He is currently around the Buffalo area/casinos and I’m trying to figure out:
*inpatient treatment options
*gambling addiction programs
*crisis services/mobile crisis
*emergency shelter resources
*places that may help with transportation/intake
*literally any services that can directly send him toward tonight or tomorrow
I also did contact crisis services for guidance yesterday and eventually requested a welfare check because I was genuinely concerned about his safety. From what I was told, he was not considered an immediate danger at this time, but I still strongly believe he needs professional support/resources beyond what I alone can provide.
I’ve already looked into 988 and some rehab centers, but if anyone has firsthand experience with specific Buffalo/WNY programs that were actually helpful in a situation like this, I would really appreciate recommendations.
Please be kind. I’m trying my best to help someone I care about while also maintaining boundaries and I’m honestly very overwhelmed and scared right now as I have never dealt with something like this before and know gambling addiction comes with high suicide rates.
Hi everyone! Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up today for no reason that was not directly caused by his gambling addiction.
I have never seen someone destroy their lives so quickly and to such extends than I have with him. It’s heartbreaking. Does anyone have any podcast recommendations of powerful stories of people sharing what their addiction was life? Or certain episodes of a podcast that touch on this? I would like to try to understand what happened and what his mindset was like the past 5 months as close as I can.
Thank you so much!
Hi everyone! Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up today for no reason that was not directly caused by his gambling addiction.
I have never seen someone destroy their lives so quickly and to such extends than I have with him. It’s heartbreaking. Does anyone have any podcast recommendations of powerful stories of people sharing what their addiction was life? Or certain episodes of a podcast that touch on this? I would like to try to understand what happened and what his mindset was like the past 5 months as close as I can.
Thank you so much!
Hi everyone! Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up today for no reason that was not directly caused by his gambling addiction.
I have never seen someone destroy their lives so quickly and to such extends than I have with him. It’s heartbreaking. Does anyone have any podcast recommendations of powerful stories of people sharing what their addiction was life? Or certain episodes of a podcast that touch on this? I would like to try to understand what happened and what his mindset was like the past 5 months as close as I can.
Thank you so much!
Hi everyone! Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up today for no reason that was not directly caused by his gambling addiction.
I have never seen someone destroy their lives so quickly and to such extends than I have with him. It’s heartbreaking. Does anyone have any podcast recommendations of powerful stories of people sharing what their addiction was life? Or certain episodes of a podcast that touch on this? I would like to try to understand what happened and what his mindset was like the past 5 months as close as I can.
Thank you so much!