u/Wicked_Weaboo

What's the point of living when there is no point? This world is just full of nothing but evil and I don't want to be miserable here anymore. The world is full of evil and will never change.

No matter how much medication and therapy they shove down my throat, I will never enjoy living. I hate working jobs. I don't want to work my life away just to never be able to live my life. You work to the point you see your job more then your family, friends, hobbies, and dreams. I dont care about money. Whenever I get my check, I feel nothing. I don't care about material things or consumerism and distractions. But that's life life is. Work, money, bills, consumerism, distractions, repeat till death. "Well, that's just how it is". MAYBE I DONT WANT THIS TO BE HOW IT IS. MAYBE I WANT TO ACTUALLY CHANGE THINGS. I DONT WANT TO JUST SIT HERE AND PRETEND EVERYTHING IS FINE!! I didn't ask to be in this shitty cruel world, why do I have to deal with this?? Why do I have to deal with evil billionaires governing over my life??? They decided what goes into my food, how you live, what you should do, money, money, money, how you should do it, do this, do that. WHEN DO I GET TO CHOOSE MY LIFE?? Why do I have to be an evil person in order to succeed in this world? I DONT WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD LIKE THIS.

"There are good things in life!"

Yeah. maybe the nice beautiful sun, or the green grass. But these 2 good things dont counter the empunt of evil humanity has. War, genocide, trillionares, etc.

And there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to sit and take it. I wish I was blissfully ignorant. I wish I was free.

I just want to be in my head. Fiction is the only think keeping me going. Fictional Characters are living the life that I want. I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous to the point where I can't watch certain thinks. I've even stopped certain hobbies because of my jealousy. I'll never get to live my dreams.

My dream is to have freedom and autonomy. But reality isn't like this. I'll always be a slave to the system, companies, working jobs, Billionaires/people in power, money, society, consumerism, etc. I want to live my life and be whoever I want whenever I want. I dont want to be forced to do things just to live.

I hate how boring life is. Why can't I fight evil and save the world?

Out of all the worlds, it just had to be a place that I hate. I wish I could sleep forever.

I don't know what to do when it comes to my life choices

Before anything, I take like 5 different medications for chronic pain and anxiety/depression. Yes I have been to SERVERAL therapist and psychologist. Nothing is working. (Read my post history for more explanations.)

* Getting out of bed is hard

* Getting up to eat is hard

* Working a job makes me exhausted to the point where I can't think.

* I have goals i want to do in life, but can never do them due to work and not being able to even get up and do anything

* I can't even do things I like. Thinking about doing anything is so exhausting. I just want to stare at a wall and do nothing. My body just won't let me process anything.

* I struggle with mental health when it comes to living in a awful world.

* I have no friends because im to exhausted to even talk to anyone.

* I am very pessimistic and negative. To the point where even my family is starting to get exhausted with me.

* For example of one of my constant negative thoughts: I hate working due to loss of autonomy. I'm forced to work or die. It bothers me how i don't have a choice on how I live, eat, breath, etc. I just want to be free and be my own true authentic self. But im forced to conform to society. Money and titles seems to have more value then my own life. It crushes me walking into work for money, something i dont care for, when I could be doing something I love. Why do I have my dreams crushed? Why do evil rich people get to live how they want while im hurting and trying my best?

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If anyone has any advice on helping, I would love it

If you look at my post history, you can tell that im constantly miserable. I need distractions 24/7 to escape. I know this isn't right, but it's my only way to survive this awful world besides killing myself. I tried therapy, and im on several medications (Chronic pain + Mental Health). Nothing is helping, besides distractions. Whenever im at work, I dont have distractions. And I immediately spiral into a depression state.

I just thought about working my life away again. Having a job is basically a 7am - 6:30pm. Its not a 9 - 5. I don’t want to participate in wordly things. It's all such a waste of energy. But im forced to care. Im forced to care about jobs, money, and bills. I don’t have a choice on how i live my own life.I don’t even take any wordly prossessions with me to the grave. There is no point in any of this. My only option are: A.)Nothing is all i can do. Just suffer, B.) die to finally end my over decades of suffering, or C.) Distractions 24/7 from forming a single thought to keep me away from this life/reality and lie to myself. Which is why i hate my job, my job isn’t a distraction and it makes me conscious. I hate being conscious.

Hey, I went to school for both ui ux design and computer science. But, it's been a while since I actually applied my skills. I want to go better at art, design, coding, writing, and game development as a whole because I'd like to make my own game. But, I feel like im getting ahead of myself and overwhelming myself. Plus, I have no idea how to even manage or make a game development team (Not saying i need one as of right now. Im just saying).

Should I focus on my skills then work in my game of engine of choice? Or should I focus on game jams to get more experience? How should I go about this?

I dont want to work forever. the thought of working forever makes me have so much anxiety. please, someone help me. I work right now, and I hate it. Every single job I've done, I've always been miserable. I can't do this for the rest of my life. I had dreams, goals, and aspirations. But it seems impossible to ever come true because of work and money. After work, im always exhausted to the point where I can't think.

What do I do?

My job gave me a slight panic attack

My job makes me miserable and gave me a slight thought to hurt myself when I looked at a knife. I'm not mentally or emotionally equipped enough to work a job. Today was so bad I couldn't even get through an hour of my shift. My emotions, anxiety, and depression gave in. My chest started having in. I left my shift with a penalty. I broke down crying.

Every single job I've been in, this always happens. The reason why I'm like this is because I feel like working is a waste of time and effort. I have dreams, goals, aspirations, hobbies, family etc. But it's all gone because of working a job. I coukd be doing things I enjoy, but no, im here. I don't want to spend my life working for 60 years just for corporations to not care if I died tomorrow. It aches my heart the moment I step foot into a job. After every shift/job im to overwhelmed to even think. I have no energy or time for living. What's the point of living if I can't live my life the way I want? What's the point of living if money matters more then my happiness/life.

I can't quit my job because my mom got me this position. The job market is awful. And because it's awful, I know this is my only chance. Giving up my only chance at a job because I can't handle the pressure...

What do I do....

Note: I have chronic pain and I take cymbolta + gabapentin

Note: I work at a cafeteria at a hospital.

Note: I live with my parents. I graduated college with my bachelor's about 2 years ago.

I hate how there is nothing I can do to help the world as a whole. I wish I could make a drastic change and stop these bad people from running the world as a whole. It pains me inside that im forced to follow evil, rich powerfull people's control. I don't have a choice in the life I was forced to have. They can do the most horrendous inhumane thing possible and get no consequences. Everyone just moves on like nothing happens. But if I do something small like not show up to work for one day, i could loose my job and my lively hood. What's the point of living this life if the people in power make living impossible? I wish I could fix the world like in my books or in my videogames. Or better yet, not being born at all so I don't have to deal with the world in general.

Why are the good in the world a compliment, but the bad is something gigantic like working till I die for money I don't even want, genocide, Billionaires, etc.

In a way, I feel like the only way for me to be happy is if I stop being conscious. Just no thoughts. Maybe sleeping?

It just doesn't make any sense. I dont want to live this life. People tell me to do hobbies or go outside to keep myself away from these thoughts. But no matter how much I try, my thoughts keep spiraling to these conclusions.

I can't work a job. No matter what job I do i become miserable.i have a hard time following directions. Everything is overwhelming. I space out. It takes me a long time to do task compared to everyone else. My thoughts are always negative/racing, so it makes waking up or working unbearable. I cant take breaks so I start to lose it internally. I make mistakes. The only reason why I haven't been fired yet is because I know someone who is alot higher then me.

Right now, I work in the cafeteria. It's overwhelming. For 9 hours. When I come home I don't even have the ability to think

I didn't always work in the cafeteria though. I used to work another job in the same place, but I kept making do many mistakes and couldn't keep up that they transferred me.

I want to quit, but I can't. I can't find another job and it's my only chance to even have a job. My goal is to move up to another department (technology), but I honestly don't want any jobs here. But this is my only chance to get into tech. If I quit, it's back to searching for years again.

I wish I could just be normal and work.

Note: I have a testing for adhd in a few days. Note: I live with my parents

* Apparently my degree is useless now and jobs only want you if you know someone. So I guess my skills and my years in school are a waste of time (Interactive Design/Computer science).

* Since AI, saturation, and awful job market is huge now, I'll never get a job in what I wanted. So I have no idea what I want to do career wise.

* I don't want to be in society anyways. I can't handle being "normal". Working my life away for companies/Billionaires who don't care if I died tomorrow is not how I want to live my life. But im forced to do this. I'm forced to live a life I didn't ask for. I have to work 40 hours a week everyday with only 3 hours to myself after work. How can I even have a life?

* The economy is bad and everything is expensive with low pay.

* powerful Evil people keep killing, stealing, and destroying people's/my lives. Not only are they doing this and getting away with it with no consequences. But i can't do anything about it.

What's the point of striving for a "Good future" when it's obvious there is no future to begin with?

* Apparently my degree is useless now and jobs only want you if you know someone. So I guess my skills and my years in school are a waste of time (Interactive Design/Computer science).

* Since AI, saturation, and awful job market is huge now, I'll never get a job in what I wanted. So I have no idea what I want to do career wise.

* I don't want to be in society anyways. I can't handle being "normal". Working my life away for companies/Billionaires who don't care if I died tomorrow is not how I want to live my life. But im forced to do this. I'm forced to live a life I didn't ask for. I have to work 40 hours a week everyday with only 3 hours to myself after work. How can I even have a life?

* The economy is bad and everything is expensive with low pay.

* powerful Evil people keep killing, stealing, and destroying people's/my lives. Not only are they doing this and getting away with it with no consequences. But i can't do anything about it.

What's the point of striving for a "Good future" when it's obvious there is no future to begin with?

Should I be admitted into a hospital?

I hate living in this awful cruel world everyday. I can't stand me working my life away just for billionaires too get everything they ever wanted by killing, stealing, and destroying everything and everyone. There are so many ginormous problems and evil in the world with no positive what so ever. Im going insane.I can't work a regular job. I work part time and I'm want to kill myself. I'm not normal for society. I had dreams and aspirations. But when I became an adult, everything changed. My life is just to be a consumer in a capitalist world. Money means more then my life. Hard work gets you no where in only. Only being an awful person does. But I can't do that. don't have the heart to. I can't be "normal" in society. I cant pretend like everything is okay. I struggle with working hours and hours everyday. I struggle with learning. I struggle with talking. I stuggle with following instructions. I struggle with my thoughts and my emotions. I struggle with EVERYTHING EVERYDAY. I genuinely don't see a future. I cry everyday. I hate living. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be admitted into a hospital forever and never come out.

I want to change the world for the better, but now I fully realize that that can only happen in fiction. This world will never change for the better. And there is nothing I can do about it. Helping someone with something small like helping them carry a bag or volunteer at a shelter, will never be as a big of an impact as all the awful things like money, Billionaires, war, genocide, Working your life away at a job, etc. Plus, the world has been a thing for billions of years. If it wasn't good then, what makes you think it would be good now? I guess the only option I have is to watch the world burn. I don't care anymore. I'm just gonna try my best to ignore everything and stop hoping for the future.

I tell myself I don't care, but the thought of us all dying horribly makes me want to cry. I want the best for everyone and humanity so badly. Why am I so sad over something i know will never happen?

Right now, I just wish someone killed me on impact. I hate this awful and cruel world. I dont want to be apart of it. I cant handle it.

So can someone please teach be how to either A: Be ignorant and unaware of the world around me? Or B: Stop being conscious/thinking.

I love games like Shin Megami Tensei, the Mother series, and Ace Attorney. But, I can no longer play videogames simply because I'm jealous. I'm jealous that these characters can make a difference significantly In the world and stop the evil in the world. But me, I just have to take it. I can't do anything about my wordly issues or the problem of the world because I'm forced to live in this awful world with no solution nor hope. All I can do is sit and watch while evil people destroys this beautiful world.

I've been suffering so much. I feel like this world isn't for me. I can't handle it. I can't handle working till I die for hours on end for money i don't even want. I can't handle money meaning for then my life. I can't handle billionaires doing modern day slavery . All they do is kill, steal, and destroy. And they will always get away with it because they have the money and power. I can't handle the fact that I'll never have freedom in a life i never even asked for. And the worst part? There's nothing I can do about. I have to sit and watch while people do war, genocide, abuse,etc. I just have to go about my day like nothing happened. I have to go to work, knowing damn well I want freedom. I don't have a choice. I'm FORCED to live this life.

I had so many dreams.

Back in the day, in slavery times. My people thought that death was better then bondage. My situation is nothing like there's. Their situation was obviously way worse than what im dealing with. But, they were right. I feel like my only way to escape in this hell called life I was forced into, is death.

Please tell me how to appreciate life when it's full of awful things. The good in life is always small things like a compliment while the bad in life is always ginormous like war, genocide, depression, Billionaires, being forced to Work forever or die, needing money to live a life you didn’t ask for or die , Abuse, etc. I just want 1 ginormous good thing in life.

I honestly don't appreciate life. I wish I never had it.

I don't even care nor want to do anything anymore. I barely have the energy to type this. I just want to lie down and sleep forever.

Im truly fighting the will to not kill myself every day

I hate how in both life or death i don't have a choice

Live: Live the way billionaires want or die (Work till you die, Give up on dreams, Consumerism, let billionaires hurt and kill people with money, war, and power)

Die: You don't have a choice. It's gonna happen anyways.

What's the point of anything if I dont have a choice in how I live in a world I'm forced to be in? Might as well just get death over with since I don't have a choice.