u/Yue4prex

I posted a few weeks ago about my dad going into the hospital because of how bad his foot was and he couldn’t walk. He’s 71, and after his cardiac arrest four years ago, he just wanted to die. Several doctors said he was “out of it,” because of how he felt until he finally got a psych evaluation and he was cleared. From there, he refused to rescind his DNR. At that roadblock, he was told he could leave and enter hospice.

Two weeks after being in the hospital, he was told he could leave and he would be transported. I was there that day, when I hadn’t planned to, because I needed to ensure he had his medication. I was told a few hours before he was going home that we either had to pay $400 before he left or he would be brought home and then it would be $1000+. I decided to get him into my car and just get him home.

Thankfully, the nurse helped me get him into a chair. Once in the chair, the transport nurse helped me get him into my car. I drove the half hour home, breathing heavily because it was so nerve wrecking. I didn’t want to hurt him and just wanted to keep him happy and comfortable.

Once home, my SO and I put him on the walker we got him (the one with the seat) and we literally carried him in the house. My poor dad had to sit in that walker for a little over an hour or two because the bed delivery was late. Once we got the bed, we set it up, got him comfortable, left and went back the next day to get him admitted into home hospice.

That was two weeks ago.

For the last two weeks, I have been trying everything to make sure he’s eating, drinking, happy, etc. if he wanted chocolate, I’d get it. Cookies, I’d find them. I couldn’t find the snickerdoodle cookies right away at Walmart and almost balled my eyes out two weeks ago, trying to mentally settle into this idea.

We worked with a VNA hospice program. I chose a not for profit and every person I spoke with was phenomenal. They were all kind and helped my dad as best they could. A few days ago, my mom said she heard the gurgle. I went Wednesday to see him. He was talking but it was so low and mumbled, I couldn’t understand everything. I got to talk to him and tell him I love him.

Saturday morning, my mom called me early and said to get there soon. That was 8am. From about 10am to 3pm, I sat with him, minus him getting a sponge bath form the aid who visited. I sat by his side, held his hand, and watched his breathing. I was supposed to leave around 3:30pm, to get my kid somewhere (they were with a friend and not with us), but I noticed a change and told my SO, we couldn’t leave.

At about 4:10, I asked my mom if she wanted to come over. She said no and I told her, “you should come over and sit.” About 15 mins later, he quietly passed. He let out one big breath, like he was stretching, his hands squeezed ours, and we knew he was gone.

I am so utterly sad that I lost my daddy and I’ll never get to learn how to ride a Harley from him. He’ll never be able to make the stereo system for my dream car, and he’ll never see my child, his only grandchild, graduate.

My dad retired in December 2021 and less than 6 months later, his cardiac arrest altered his life to where he couldn’t do anything in his life that he enjoyed. He didn’t get to enjoy his retirement. His diabetes went untreated because he couldn’t afford the medication and from there, his toes and foot went necrotic, which led to him getting sepsis and passing.

Two weeks he was home. That’s it. I thought we had more time, I really did.

71 year old male. Open heart, defib, pacemaker. In hospital for blood infection, necrosis and cellulitis.

Medical team wants to complete a TEE to check around his heart and see what’s going on. Patient refuses to rescind his DNR so the hospital cancelled the procedure twice. Additionally, patient had no food for close to 48 hours due to planning the procedure, cancelling it, the planning it for the next day, before cancelling again.

The doctor explained to patient that when they are checking things close to the heart, they make accidentally hit something or do something that could cause the heart to stop and they need to be able to reverse the mistake. I’m using my own words of my understanding for that portion.

Patient argues that the DNR is in place for a reason. Why have it if it won’t be honored?

Medical team completed a psych evaluation. Patient was deemed competent.

What are your thoughts? Have you dealt with this? How do you get a procedure done for your family member while keeping the DNR, or did you have to temporarily suspend it?

sigh

TW: lots of medical bullshit

This goes back to 2022, but really for a long time. My dad is 71 now. He has never really cared properly for himself. One day, in high school (early 2000s), I came home from school and saw a tooth by my dads chair. My mom said, “oh, your dad just pulled his tooth out.” Well, ok then. After time went on, he lost more teeth from not taking care of them.

His first massive heart attack was my 11th birthday. He almost died, but survived and came home. My dad was, in my eyes, always yelling at me for something. He did give solid advice on some stuff, know lots about cars, and worked a lot until retirement. Between 1997 and 2022, I’d say he had about 7 stents put in with 98% blockage before 2022.

In 2022, he had open heart and had a pacemaker and a defibrillator put in. I was at the ICU daily with my mom, who can’t drive. I stayed at their place, all while caring for a 10 year old and working full time. He had ICU delirium pretty badly and I remember him saying, “why the fuck am I here?” He thought we were at a gas station, constantly tried to get up and walk around and escape. He told the nurse, “this bitch stole my money,” referring to me. It hurt, but I figured, this is temporary, it’ll be okay.

I was fucking wrong. Since then, he has devolved into an angry and hurtful man. Every visit but one in the last 18 months has left me in tears. Something he said or did. On Mother’s Day this year, he basically said he never wants to see me again, don’t even come to his funeral. My mom is still alive, but she has also had open heart, can’t hear all too well, has no idea what finances they have, etc. so, I have been back once since, to take my mom back home from the hospital when she was in… my dad can’t see to even drive anymore.

Last week, my dad fell off the toilet and my mom has to call 911 for help. She tried to have them take him, but he refused to go. My dad has been diabetic since about 2008. He, again, doesn’t take care of himself so he doesn’t take his insulin. He had gout issues years ago, so him having a flare up was “normal.” Well, now, his foot is black, open wound, entire leg is swollen with a putrid smell and he can’t feel much. He asked my mom to pull a flap of skin off, he didn’t feel it.

She called me a few days ago and wanted me to go there. I asked what was going on, and I refused to go there if he was in the angry asshole state, refusing care. I need to protect my peace. I offered to call 911, or someone to get him to the hospital, she said no, she’d do it, she’d do it Tuesday, today.

Well, an EMT and an officer showed up and my dad refused to go. They left. I reached out to the precinct to find out what happened and I was told that their state doesn’t allow them to take someone who is alert, without their consent. My dad told them he wanted to “die in peace.”

I’m not driving 90 mins to fight with this man when he won’t go to the hospital, unless I pick him up and bring him. Trust me, I can lift him, no problem, but he has been so vitriol to me, I just can’t do it. I have had my own issues since March (loss of a pet, Mother’s Day, work stressors, etc). I am at a total loss of what to do except let this man die in, what will probably be, agony and hatred with my mom.

He has no other family. His sister passed away a few months ago and she was in California. He has no friends. He just has my mom, sister and me and he’s been an asshole to each and every one of us. I mourn a man, still living, that used to be my dad. The man who cried walking me to down the aisle in my wedding.

I don’t know what to do, but I just needed to vent a little. If you read all of this, thank you.

TLDR: dad refused to go with an EMT in an ambulance to the hospital because he wants to die in peace. He is diabetic with heart problems and his foot and part of leg are black and swollen.

Edit to add: he said he wants to die, I am not going to try and convince him otherwise. I’m just frustrated that this is all happening and it is weighing on me heavily, hence the need to vent.

“Dying is easy, young man, living is harder.”

Hi Friends! Some of you may know me, lots of you do not. /u/duckswimmer and I became friends due to this subreddit and both working for this gestures around company. Duck has been a big part of this sub for awhile now, and if you’re not aware, she has a little duckling on the way.

Said duckling will be here much quicker than anticipated! If you feel generous and kind, I am posting her baby registry on Amazon here. I do not mind offering to buy something if you’d like to Venmo or PayPal me and I will provide proof of said transaction. Duck knows me IRL, so I will not sacrifice my integrity for a onesie.

No one is obligated to gift anything, this is just me sharing it in case you’d like to. Duck also did not ask me to do this, I wanted to share in case it helps her. She’s a good egg (no pun intended).

Here is a little poem for the occasion—

There’s a duckling on the way
She’s arriving quite early!
It’ll be quite a happy day
Baby’s hair will probably come out curly!

This is baby number two for duck
Making them a family of four
I wish her the best of luck
And know her life will never be a bore.

Before you know it, she’ll be a teenage witch (iykyk)
But for now, she’ll be your little one
Until the day she calls you a bitch
And then you’ll just be done

Mother to mother, it all goes quick
Soon you’ll be cringe, no cap
We don’t get to say or have a pick
No one gave us a friggen map

She’ll be in your arms soon to coddle
So try to get some sleep now
Onesies, diapers, pacifiers and bottles
Please, duck, don’t have a cow.

Just came across this on my for you page. This young lady has an active police report against a 19 year old that works at Dorney who sexually assaulted her and he just did it again.

This looks super cool!

Hi all! This is a new team for this coming season. I realize the try outs are later so if you haven’t heard back from a team, or just want to check out a late try outs, there is a registration link on the post.

The coach has been coaching for a few years with Northampton and decided to make the move to travel to elevate his daughter and many others. I’d venture to guess this will be a B/C level team and good for girls making the transition from 12U to 14U.

Little do they know that I bought birthday tickets the day ticket sales opened and I am trying to keep it quiet. I’m also trying to think of a way to tell them, but I’m drawing a blank.

I was considering doing a crossword to figure it out but meh. I was going to do a “cheaper” cameo and ask whatever celeb to be like, “hey so your mom isn’t taking you to see Sombr on this day like you’d hoped……. But you’re going this day to another venue.”

My question for you fans is how you would like to be told you’re going as a birthday gift… I want to make it nice for my kid. I hate my birthday so I put my energy into theirs instead.

Hi all, I have been DESPERATELY trying to get tickets to the show via the lottery and I have had NO luck. I always try to see any show I can on a budget due to how expensive seats can get. My other idea is to rush the show but it’s a 2 hour drive, parking, waiting, filling time, it’s just a lot to think about.

I have a 13 year old who wants to go, but I said no. They’ll be 14 soon and I was 14 when I first saw RHPS. My parents didn’t really filter much of what I watched and I saw the exorcist at 4. My SO and I have been not so lenient but with being a teenager, I’m loosening the strings a bit.

Here comes my main question. During the movie, when frank goes into Brad and Janet’s room, separately, and we see what’s happening behind the sheet, how is that depicted during this stage production? Similar? More, less, not at all?

Also, if you’ve seen the show via rush or lottery, how were the seats?

Thank you for reading!

Hi friends! Lots of you have been helpful for me planning other excursions and wanted to see what info I could get here for it!

I have been desperately trying to win the lottery tickets for Rocky Horror and haven’t gotten any. So, I am trying to do a two for one with another show and rushing Rocky Horror.

A few questions for those of you who may know, to help me plan!

1. What are the lines like? How EARLY should I be there?
2. Are the seats random or more center and a few rows in?
3. What day is harder to get rush tickets, Friday or Saturday?

I’ve been coaching rec softball (did some travel a few years back) and last night was the first night that I left upset and pissed because of asshole parents.

We have 17 kids on our team. It has been ROUGH. We have been rotating kids and we had a mix of, been playing for years, to never picked up a bat before.

I don’t make the lineup, our assistant coach does. I mainly handle the bench during games, wrangling when need be and warming the kids up. We really needed to win last night because this would have gotten us into the playoffs. We’ve been playing all kids but we decided to only play 10. 4 girls would sit and we’d sub.

The head coach decided to keep the lineup the entire game and 3 kids left in tears. I was the only coach the parents came at, aggressively, told me I shouldn’t be coaching because their kid didn’t play. This was after their polite convo with the head coach.

Let me be clear about this. The kid isn’t coachable. She has a terrible attitude, thinks she’s better than the other kids, cannot reflect, and talks poorly about everyone else. Even said one of the new kids should never play again because “they suck,” her words.

I think what gets me is the mom who had to insert herself, clearly drunk, empty beer can next to her, saying “it’s rec, rotate the kids,” when hers had been playing, she clearly just doesn’t like me because of her kid being an asshole to mine at school.

What also stinks is we switched leagues to try and be more competitive. We were happy with the other league, and the this.

I don’t get paid to coach. I have been there to coach when my kid had to visit her grandparents and I told the coach, we have enough girls, she wants them to have a chance.

I have coached during a full blown panic attack. I have coached directly after the loss of a family pet. I coached through my issues with losing my mom to dementia. She’s still alive, she just hates me and never wants me to see her again. I’ve left work early to make sure we’re on time. I’ve tried to talk to each kid and help each. I’ve cheered them on when they’ve gotten a hit, told them they’d get em next time when they struck out, but their kid sits one game and we’ve crushed their dreams… and they’re not even 12 yet.

Sorry, just needed to vent a little. Been mulling over this since last night.

Hey everyone! I was going to see about getting our team a walk up song rotation going. Are there any good apps that allow at least 20 players and won’t break the bank?

Edit to add: MUST support Spotify. I have premium and have for over a decade. I won’t be getting rid of it 😭

I have. I was doing pretty well and the bounties were fun. The new update came, bounties got scaled down, understandable, but I also straight lost on the silliest of hands to the tune of 2.5 mil. Idc since it’s fake money, but I found myself hoping to have time to play to not even thinking twice about it, even if I saw it on my scrolling. I’m just curious if others feel the same or not.

A short backstory for this… since about march, my family and I have had a few things come up. I was sick, we had to drive four hours each way to buy a new car that my SO wanted, we lost a family pet, VERY unexpectedly, we adopted another about 7 weeks later and on that same day (Mother’s Day), my dad told me he never wants to see me again and don’t go to his funeral.

I have literally been struggling to function as an adult. I still have to be a mother and get my kid to school, check their grades, coach their team, work 40 hours and try to work out. With everything going on, I only called out of work one day and it definitely wasn’t enough.

Yesterday my SO said their parents wanted to come over this weekend. I asked them to please pick next week. Since I was sick, our house definitely has fallen to the wayside. Laundry is clean, not put away. My kitchen is a mess, new groceries not put away, etc. I basically told my SO I am still struggling and am very sad (I was crying a little) and that if we had their parents over, our entire weekend would get spent cleaning. We all have a three day weekend and I literally want a stress free weekend to spend with my family, doing nothing, light cleaning and trying to reset.

When my SO came home, I reiterated how I felt. I, again, explained that I’m sad and just trying to get through and I just need some more time. I also brought up possibly finding a therapist because of the stuff with my dad and mom. I thought the understood.

We were out today for a little bit, had two cars, and when I got food for our pets and dinner, I headed home. My SO proceeded to tell me their parents would be coming over Monday. I immediately started crying. I feel betrayed. There’s drama happening with my SOs parents and other family members that I also don’t want to be in the middle of. I asked my SO what would make them do this and they said the felt like a jerk saying no, my response was, “so to avoid feeling like a jerk, you decided to hurt me instead.”

This was about 6 hours ago. I’m now sitting in my bed and it’s almost 4am. My SO is still in their office and hasn’t said a word to me since then.

Maybe I’m just overly sensitive right now, but I don’t want my SO to have to worry about all of the cleaning for this visit. Heck, they haven’t even put away our bare Christmas tree yet… it’s just been sitting there.

TLDR: I asked my SO twice to not invite their parents over so we can relax this weekend. My SO invited over anyway after I expressed how I was feeling and they have since not spoken to me after I stated how upset I am.