u/ZenoSamaDBS

Hi all, I turned 30 this July. I am 6ft, in FAANG, make very good money (Hoping AI doesn't eat it 🙏). But I have been on and off in the online matrimony space for last 3 yrs with no success (past 1.5yrs in Hyd, girls are very very less in number here as compared to NCR or Bangalore). A girl I am talking to (31F) wants to talk further but I am very confused since I am not too attracted to her. So I am wondering if 30Y will be too old or not and should I put attraction on a back seat or not(parents are worried too now). What do you guys think? Any advice here will be much appreciated!

I have Ultra 3. I have been observing these for some days now, where if I wake up to go to the washroom during sleep mode and then I go back to sleep, the watch tracks the second sleep. But if I wake up and go back to sleep outside the sleep mode, it doesn't track the sleep mode. It's so so frustrating. I don't allow notifications during sleep mode. So can't extend it for very long.

Is anyone else facing this? Any workaround or setting which I can enable? Thank you!

I have booked Kushaq Sportline AT. Loan has been sanctioned. Car is about to reach the showroom in next 1-2 days. But I heard today that Skoda/VW cars have some EPC issues. Is it only true for the older cars? Or the new ones too? Please help me. Should I cancel my booking?

Hey all, they can fit the camera from showroom at 30k extra but is it worth it? Will it have quality issues or any glitches?
I am getting elevate base for 15.3L and it has rear camera as well. What do you guys suggest?
I am talking about automatic versions.

Hello all, I test drove the top models of both the cars. Getting Tekna CVT at 12.55L vs Kiger at 12.6L, including insurance and accessories for both, in Hyderabad.

1. ⁠Is it a good price or should I negotiate more?
2. ⁠Which one would be a better pick? Nissan had 360cam while Kiger had front and rear. Camera quality was rubbish in both though 😅
3. ⁠Any other better option than these two? These both have turbo engines. So fun to drive.

My friend got married a couple of years ago. He earns very well, 80 lpa+, with wife also earning 35lpa. But he is from a humble background and his sister with her husband don't earn as much - 15lpa combined. So friend's mother wants to split their house(worth 1cr) between him and his sister. And he is fully okay with it. But his wife doesn't agree with that and is creating issues. I just wanted to know, for all the equality talk otherwise, why do we still discriminate when it comes to property? Why not give it equally to the children irrespective of their gender, even though the law says so? And any suggestions for the friend, what should he do?

Edit 1: I know this point is coming - who would take care of old parents? Mostly sons. I agree. So why not split in 3 - 1 for son, 1 for daughter, 1 for parent's care. Or some other kind of split.

Edit 2: It's his father's house, though he might have spent money on interiors etc since there was some renovation done some years ago, before his marriage.

Hey all, I was planning to purchase a new petrol car previously.
But, now my attention is on EVs. What would you all recommend?

Usage: Mostly city driving (around 90%), with occasional highway trips
Annual running: Low

Family of 5 and rear-seat comfort is important.

This will be my first-ever car, and I'm currently learning to drive.

Budget: Around ₹20 lakh, though I can stretch somewhat if the upgrade is genuinely worth it. And I have heard that Windsor has still suspension, so would give it a pass.
Looking forward to hearing from you!

Edit: One showroom just told me that Punch has a waiting period of atleast 3 months 😿

I am talking to a girl via online matrimony. I got to know 2 days back from her that she had a couple of short term physical flings some years back and then a long term relationship. I am okay with the long term one but these physical flings are making me really uncomfortable. Am I right here? What do others think here? Any suggestions are very much appreciated.

Edit: I have been single all my life due to various reasons in different phases of life. ONS was something I have never been comfortable with for myself. And never went for paid stuff even though I could have done it years back if I wanted.

Since online matrimony is virtually a parents-approved dating app now, for those who found their partner, how much did you guys talk to each other before making a decision?

Like, in ballpark, how many months, what was the frequency of phone calls, what was the frequency of meetings in those months etc?

And did you end up committing to someone who you communicated with the most?

So, I posted another post some hours back.
TLDR -

Hypothetical Scenario: Wife earns very less than husband and has a stressful job. Let's say 3LPA vs 30LPA. As a husband, my preference would be for her to leave the stressful job, and do something of her own and earn at home with way less stress while taking care of infants.

Some of the responses I got -

1. Mindless bashers -

How can you force her to leave the job?
-- Bhai who can force someone? Will I tie her? Or lock her?

Keep your terrible preferences to yourself

-- Okay. So one can't even post on a platform like Reddit now. Slow clapping! And can't a husband even have a discuss with his wife now?

Same Gender war.

-- But will a woman marry such a man if their jobs are reversed? If yes, more than happy to do the same.

2. Independence supporters -
   She will be free and independent.

-- But is she really? Isn't she dependent on the job/manager? Won't she be more independent if she earns herself? There are various ways like consultancy, business to be independent while not doing a job, which can earn you at-least 3LPA.

3. Misc -

She is not in it for money, but it's her passion and it changes her environment -

-- Okay, fine.

It will give her a voice -

-- I didn't know that you have to have a stressful job for a voice. But okay, maybe it's like only in their environment.

She can do a less stressful job like a teacher etc -

-- Sure, agreed.

4. Some agreed too.

And those who disagreed, everyone equated a job with earnings, ignoring the fact that earning 3LPA is possible without stressful jobs.
But what I noticed in particular, was I barely found One answer which talked about collectivism, which focussed on the fact that it's a team, not collection of individuals, that the wife wants to contribute to the household, doesn't matter the amount/percentage, that she also wants to give something to her kids, that she wants to stay abreast and earn in case something happens to the husband or if the husband loses job due to this uncertainty.

One of the prospect girls had this DOI (Difference of Opinion) as a non-negotiable.

So, I was talking to a very high earner. During one of the discussions, I mentioned that if my wife doesn't have a good career, and earns very less, let's say 10% of my income, I would rather ask her to leave job, be chill at home, focus on upbringing of kids and do something of her own at home to stay productive. It's not just worth it to do job and kids in that case and be in stress all the times (Kind of similar to this https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/1ussup0/a\_genuine\_question\_men\_pls\_answer/). But she mentioned not all women do job due to money etc. And I was like, then why do a job if money is not a priority at all. Do something of your own or pursue your interests, right? Then she was like, why won't you leave the job to take care of kid in that case. And I was like, which woman would marry someone who earns 10% of her? Also, if you're earning low, you can always get back to similar position after some break or earn similar on your own, but not high earners. So atleast 1 should ideally work always. She took a simple practical thought towards things like man vs woman, patriarchy, ambitions etc. WDYT?

Sango uncle took a webinar today, where he suggested a couple of properties in Pune and Coimbatore (1 flat and 1 plot). Both are by respected builders (1 by Shapoorji, 1 by Godrej). He is saying that the builder himself would rent out the property. But I don't belong to any of these two states/cities. Should I invest in them? What do you guys suggest about

1. These investments.

2. These cities

3. These builders

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sango uncle took a webinar today, where he suggested a couple of properties in Pune and Coimbatore (1 flat and 1 plot). Both are by respected builders (1 by Shapoorji, 1 by Godrej). He is saying that the builder himself would rent out the property. But I don't belong to any of these two states/cities. Should I invest in them? What do you guys suggest about

1. These investments.
2. These cities
3. These builders

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Edit: Title should be - Should we buy respected builders' flats/plots in major cities far away?

I’m a 30M in an arranged marriage setup and would like some outside perspectives.
I’ve been talking to someone for a while. Things are generally going well, but we’ve discovered that we have very different philosophies regarding effort and emotional investment.
She believes that once two people have a basic understanding of each other and genuinely want to explore the possibility of marriage, they should give it their best. According to her, making time despite being busy and going out of your way for the other person is what builds closeness. Holding back because “it might not work out” prevents a relationship from getting a fair chance.
My thinking is a little different.
I’m happy to put in effort, plan dates, communicate, and do thoughtful things. But I also know we’re both still evaluating each other over the next few months, and either of us could honestly decide we’re not compatible. Because of that, I naturally let my emotional investment grow gradually instead of behaving as if we’re already committed.
It’s not about fear of effort. It’s more about finding a healthy balance between giving the relationship a genuine chance and protecting myself from becoming deeply invested before both people have actually chosen each other. I also want to have my own personal space.
This made me wonder:
Is my approach too guarded?
In an arranged marriage, at what point do you personally start investing emotionally as if you want to make the relationship work?
Do you think it’s better to go “all in” once you see potential, even before a final decision, or is it healthier for investment to grow gradually?
If you’ve been through arranged marriage or serious dating, how did you balance hope with uncertainty?
I’m not looking for validation for either side. I’m genuinely trying to understand whether this is just a difference in relationship styles or whether one approach tends to work better in practice

I have received a proposal via relatives. Now, the family is asking for salary first, before letting me talk to the girl. But if we tell them, they will tell it to my relatives and my whole extended family would know it. But I don't want to reveal it to the relatives. You know how jealous, calculative and mean they might be from the inside. And if I or the girl don't like each other in the 1st call, it all goes to waste. So I at-least want to have 1 phone call before telling them. What to do? Also, I am planning to reveal only 70% of my CTC, which should be satisfactory for them I believe. Give suggestions please. What do you all do?

Hi, I am looking for a partner since last 2 years. I am a Software Engineer in FAANG currently. I always have been inclined to a high earner wife, since I earn high myself and there is so much job insecurity in this age of AI and you need an earning partner in big cities. It gives you more confidence and support at the time of despair.

1. Am I wrong in my preference?
2. I am wondering if I am making a mistake by not talking to less earners (let's say 5LPA or 10LPA or professions like teachers or girls currently doing PHDs etc) who might be very good natured and feminine otherwise?

What do you guys think?
Edit: Some people are saying that money can't be the only factor. Bhai I already know it. And I won't marry a 70LPA rude addict junkie over a 5LPA sweet girl. But how big of a factor is it?