u/Zestyclose_Offer_402

Hi!

I had pre eclampsia with my first born last year June 25, I am currently 23 weeks pregnant.

For the last few days I have had a headache that won’t budge and some vision changes, so I’ve been asked to check my BP at home.

The thing I can’t stop stressing over (which probably isn’t helping my blood pressure) is the idea of being admitted if I do develop pre e in the near future. I feel like it is likely as I have the impending doom feeling and I can’t shake the idea that it’s coming, I didn’t have symptoms this early the first time and even then it went from 0-100 in a matter of days and ended in an EMCS.

The thought of leaving my one year old for weeks on end is devastating, I’m his primary care giver as a SAHM and I don’t know how I’d cope being away from him for that long, I’m worried if it happens he won’t love me anymore or we won’t have the same bond, I literally couldn’t think of anything worse than being admitted.

What I would love to know is, is there anyone who has been diagnosed with pre e earlier than 30w and not had to be admitted? Is it possible to be sent home with medication and a lot of monitoring or is it an absolute no question you have to be admitted? I’m in the UK if that makes a difference at all.

I’m 20w pregnant with my 2nd and my first is 13m. I can not connect with this baby for some reason! I think it’s coming from guilt but I can’t buy anything for the baby because then I feel bad for my son and buy him something. Or I don’t like to say “the baby” because I call my son the baby still, so I just don’t talk about it at all. It’s another boy. I can’t help but feel like I’m replacing my son and that I won’t be able to love this one as much as I do him and I don’t know what to do.

Has anyone else felt like this before?

I am so sick of seeing, “but X only did Y because Z did ABC” and these arguments between viewers of who is the worst and why so and so’s behaviour is justified.

Hot take, all of these people are shitty people and half assed parents. All of them.

These are fully fledged adults with developed frontal lobes, why are any of them even in this situation? As an adult you have the ability to remove yourself from these toxic environments and behaviours. “Oh but it’s their JOB” okay and before “Momtok” and “Dadtok” you were just mom and dad, so if this career of yours is forcing you into uncomfortable situations, drama, and taking you away from your children in any capacity, get a new fucking job! Just be mom and dad! Go and work at fucking target!

Yes when you have children you are still your own person, but you are a parent first, children don’t ask to be born, you chose to have them, they didn’t ask you to be a parent you chose to be, so be one.

As a mom myself, who is a fair bit younger than all of these, I can not fathom having the desire to engage in any of this. Infact I haven’t had an argument/disgareement/bitchfest or any form of drama in my life since before my first son was born, because as soon as he was I clocked in as mom and stayed that way. I don’t allow it into my life. Yes people piss me off, you know what I do? Ignore it, cut them off. I think to myself, hey these small people are depending on me to set an example, to be present and to protect them, I can’t engage in this, it’s not important enough.

These people are not devoted parents so calling them momtok and dadtok and them making money from showcasing their “parenting” is honestly an insult to moms and dads everywhere.

I await the downvotes from people who don’t have kids or hate Taylor too much to hold any other of the cast accountable.

Hi, second time mum but my first time trying breastfeeding, baby isn’t due until November but I wanted to learn as much as I can before!

I don’t know much about it and I’ve been trying to research to prepare myself but I just wanted real life experience to see if this is right or not?

My plan is to mainly breastfeed but I would like to be able to give baby a bottle as and when needed like to leave baby with dad or whatever.

From the research I did it seems the way to do it is ebf and collect letdown from opposite breast with a collector but NOT a pump so you don’t get an oversupply, and then use the letdown to introduce a bottle like once a day after 3 weeks, is that right or not?

And then when the baby takes the bottle to then introduce a pump and pump whilst the baby is being bottle fed to maintain supply, but after your supply is established it’s ok if you miss this pump on occasion, right?

I’m sorry if these are stupid questions I find it extremely confusing, I feel like bottle feeding is a breeze compared, you guys are superwomen!

If that isn’t right any advice would be absolutely amazing!

Hi!

2nd time mom 1st time breastfeeding!

I didn’t attempt to with my first and I really regret it now and I would love to try this time but I just can’t get over my fears! I also have a really weird thing about my nipples being touched so I’m worried about how I’ll handle the pain.

To put it into perspective I was crying and wretching when my first was born and my milk came in and was leaking, weird I know, not because of pain but just the sensation it’s more a mental thing like if I’m aware it’s happening it makes me feel sick!

Anyway,

I was thinking, if I wanted to try combination of both breast and then an occasional expressed milk in a bottle, how can I achieve this without causing an oversupply as I hear that can give you mastitis?

I know nothing about breastfeeding but from research I did today I’m gathering the best thing to do is ebf for 3-6 weeks, use something to catch the letdown from the other breast? And then use that to build a supply to introduce a bottle after that period, is this right?

I don’t understand it honestly, do I have to pump too on top? Would baby need to feed from both boobs and I have to pump from both after too? Please explain it to me like I am stupid!

I didn’t breastfeed with my 1st but I am considering it for my 2nd, one of my worries is that it will cause a lot of hypos and I don’t want to be having loads of hypos with a newborn and a toddler! Is this true? If so what can you do to mitigate it.

Any advice would be so appreciated

Calling all seasoned breastfeeding moms!

With my first I didn’t breastfeed, didn’t even attempt it, I felt bad about it but I have this thing where I can not cope with my nipples being touched. Weird I know.

I would really like to try this time properly, but I can’t get past all the things that scare me about it. But I imagine with 2u2 it would be a whole bunch easier just to whip a boob out and be like here ya go! I remember having to make bottles at 2am and being like wtf is my life LOL and my son would cry for ages whilst waiting for it, just talking about it and remembering it is giving me the fear 🙈

The things I’m worried about from what I’ve heard is:

Nobody else being able to feed the baby because the baby won’t take a bottle, this is literally my worst nightmare because I can’t imagine being made to breastfeed when you don’t want to because the only other option is starvation.

Won’t take a dummy because they just want to use you as a dummy

Can’t get the baby off the boob 18m+ even though you really want to stop

The pain, the trouble latching, cracked nipples, bleeding nipples all that stuff, crying whilst feeding because it hurts so bad is it true?!

Mastitis 😬

Cluster feeding and not being able to move for hours because the baby is feeding (how would I even do this with a 17m old!?)

I’m rambling I think but those of you who breastfed, is this the reality? I really want to try but I know if I do and this stuff happens it’s going to mess my mental health up and I was quite fragile postpartum last time, plus this time I have a toddler to chase around so I can’t exactly just sit and cry!

Hey moms 🫶🏻

My first will be around 17/18 months when my second arrives, I’m planning on getting a double but I’m torn between a tandem travel system or a side by side stroller with a newborn nest, I’m in the UK also I know many mamas here aren’t so probably have different options available to me.

I don’t drive so that’s a factor, as in fitting in the car doesn’t matter too much, needs to be good to push for lots of walking on all terrain, what would you guys go for?

The tandems I’ve looked at just seem like once you have an older toddler and say a one year old the baby on the bottom part would be suuuper squished, it seems like a side by side would last longer for when both kids are toddlers? With me not driving I imagine I’d need a stroller still for both for a good while as I know even at 3 or so they won’t want to walk for too long right?

Any ideas or any 2u2 veterans that can share some insight, thank you!

I’m in England.

My now ex partner and me have just split up, I immediately changed my circumstances with UC to say he isn’t living here because without his wage I don’t have the means to pay the bills and I have a child so I didn’t want to dillydally in sorting my own finances.

They’ve changed it to a single claim which is fine, he is still on the tenancy but I can’t take him off as I don’t want to tell my landlord the situation as on paper I cannot afford the property by myself, even though with UC I can and I work part time. I’m scared it will put me and my child at risk of homelessness. They said this was also fine.

The concern I have is that I’ve read somewhere that if there are any links to them still living there then UC will find out and investigate, my ex partners NI number will still be linked here because he’s only gone to live with his dad temporarily until he gets his own affairs in order, this could be for a couple of months and I’m worried they will think I’m lying or something because his NI is still linked here but how can he change it if he legally resides at this address? He can’t change it to his dads because he legally doesn’t live there, or can he? This is basically his fixed abode for now until he gets his own place but he doesn’t live here or pay the bills, he just sends me money for our son.

Will this be okay or are they going to think I’m fibbing and investigate? I’m panicking!

I couldn’t sleep last night and I was thinking about this, I don’t know why.

Say between like 2000-2010, what was the average decent monthly wage? Not like lavish or anything but like what was an alright monthly wage where you could pay your rent/bills, food shop, and car and then have some left over to do whatever with and not have much to worry about?

I wonder how it compares to now? Working full time before my son was born my take home was about 2.1k a month and I wonder if back then that would’ve been like an Oo you’re doing alright kind of wage or if it’s stayed the same and things have just got more expensive, I now work part time and pull £985, how far would that have got you in the 2000s?

For context I was born in 2002 so since I’ve been working all I’ve ever known is inflation and the current sad state of the world LOL.

After having a lot of trouble keeping my omnipod 5 and G7 connected and my pump running in manual all the time I’ve been swapped to the Libre 2+, however I have been told it doesn’t have an app and you can only check your glucose using the PDM.

Is this right?

The noise it makes to alert you to a low blood sugar is pathetic, there is no way on gods earth that would wake me up at night if I was having a hypo in my sleep, I’m currently pregnant and my blood sugars are low multiple times a day and through the night, my hypo awareness isn’t as good currently because of this, I worry I will sleep through a hypo and I have my 10M old in bed with me!

Is there any way around this? Just feels so stupid that both of my only two options for a cgm are dog shit and are putting me in dangerous situations! Because the G7 couldn’t stay connected it was giving me insulin whilst my blood was low or not giving me any when it was high and now this!

Going crazy, help!!