u/_olivegreen

Completed the majority of my degree before catching Long COVID, took a 3 year break and came back this year to complete the remaining two units before the max course duration ends this year (8 years).

By some miracle I passed the first unit last semester with great difficulty and have been in a low grade crash every since (I also caught the flu which fucked everything).

I am DESPERATE to finish this degree and can literally hear the clock ticking but I'm genuinely worried that if I push I will be left in a much worse place.

In the process of requesting the university to extend degree duration for another year and I'm scared they won't accept.

Has anybody who is 'mild' and has pushed through a low grade crash (not totally incapacitated but nearly there/can do things here and there but not a full day on campus every week just yet ) been able to recover with radical resting? Am I playing with fire if I somehow manage to push and pass?

I’m in a bit of dilemma and really don’t know what to do. Both decisions are right and wrong at the same time but I figured getting some advice could help.

I am finally back on campus after 3 years of medical break due to LC. I made great improvements last year, all thanks to effective pacing. I was able to complete the majority of my degree before I went on break and came back this year to complete the remaining two units before the max duration to complete the entire degree ends at the end of this year.

By some miracle I passed my second last unit last semester, with accommodations in place. I completely underestimated how hard it would be for me, both physically and cognitively. I broke my number one rule: pace and avoid crashing. I couldn’t do that and kept crashing until I landed in a bigger crash in the middle of the semester and caught the flu. I managed to catch up and do the bare minimum and passed.

Because I couldn’t properly recover from last semester I’ve been in a low grade crash ever since and have missed 4 weeks of school. It's not severe but ive been napping almost all day and feel like crap. I can do things here and there but can’t do the 5-6 hour day on campus + 12hours study that this unit requires each week. What’s even more complicated this unit is that it’s mostly group work so it’s not like I can work at my own pace without it negatively affecting the rest of the group.

The university is trying its best to accomodate me but if I can’t attend or do the work, then how can they help?

I have two options to choose from:

Wait to get a little better and push through the unit and finally finish my degree (it’s my 8th year, I’ve had enough!!), but risk declining and crashing even further (and I will). I am beyond desperate to finish this degree and maybe my spite will be enough to get me by

or

Apply for a course duration extension and do the unit again next year, leaving me time to radically rest but having to drag this out for another year and potentially making a decision from fear and anxiety. Im also dealing with anxiety and gut issues that have flaired up along with LC. It would be easier to make this decision if I was only dealing with the LC and was fully incapacitated bedbound/housebound but I’m not. I consider this option a ‘preventative tool' for LC but an 'avoidant' one from an anxiety stand point (I hope I'm making sense). I am the kind of person that gives my all before admitting defeat but I've had moments where I've allowed my anxiety to take over

I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to myself for deferring, (I deserve to finally finish) but I also know that long term pacing has increased my baseline and it’s important to respect my health boundaries, even if I think ‘I can make it’ (at what cost though?)

I’m going to have to apply for the course duration and I don’t even know if they’ll even accept it (I don’t know what I’ll do if they reject it) so I’m not sure why I’m even posting. It’s clear that I can’t really make a wise decision without knowing the outcome but I figured I’d get some advice anyway

Thank you 🙏

Over the last few years I've had several medical professionals recommend I get investigated for ADHD. I clearly use a lot of 'brain energy' when talking (that's what they said) but I think I lean more towards inattentive. If I do investigate and find that I have it, is worth going on meds to see if it could help with the severe brain fog I have?

I’ve been chronically ill, depressed and dissociated for a long time. I know it’s a horrible thing to say but I envy people who were ‘messy’ when struggling through life/dealing with their trauma because I simply went into my own cave and never left. I let years pass me by where I didn’t participate in my own life. I’m now on the other side of dissociation and I’ve finally woken up to how empty the last decade of my life has been. I started seeing a new IFS therapist and I feel ashamed and scared of having to ‘catch up’ on life. When I do things for myself I don’t feel excited or proud of myself, I feel sad and ashamed for not doing it sooner. I also sometimes feel frightened about trying new things which I’m assuming is also connected to the shame. What kind of questions can I ask these parts so we can find a way to work through these issues in a productive way?

My chronic gut issues have always overlapped with my nervous system issues (specifically paresthesia) - whenever I am having a bad gut flair up, my tingling gets much worse. I wouldn't be surprised if I have 'leaky gut' due to gluten exposure + chronic stress and a history of bad diet. I've developed this peculiar psychosomatic symptom that is hard to explain but the visceral hypersensitivity I feel is intense and I feel like my gut is in my nerves and my nerves are in my gut, if that makes sense. Like there's just no barrier between them. The noises and sensations that are typically associated to the digestive tract seem to happen outside the gut. That's really the best way I can describe it and I feel like I'm going a bit crazy. I've taken a look at how close the enteric nerves are to the gut lining and is it correct to say that a compromised gut lining could effect the nervous system like this? Would healing the gut lining help as a result?

2 months ago I saw a gastroenterologist for my chronic gut issues and he mentioned doing a few things (like taking iberogast, nerva app, prebiotics) and if those didn’t work, we could do a 1-2 month trial of rifaximin. I have a small methane overgrowth in my large colon but I it’s not the sole root cause of my gut issues. I also believe I have a decade’s long Candida overgrowth and despite testing negative to sibo many years ago, I think I had the hydrogen sulphite kind that the test didn’t test for.

For those that have methane sibo and possibly Candida as well, did you treat it with rifaximin? And if so, did it help??

I have such severe brain fog that has stopped me from basically partaking in my own life as a ‘mild’ person. Despite it being the biggest nuisance on earth, I think it’s the very thing that has prevented me from physically declining. I got long COVID a few years ago and it was only until then that I realised I’ve had a form of post viral syndrome since age 15 that just never went away. The biggest symptom I’ve had since then is brain fog. I have been able to alleviate some of it through LDN and I had a great few weeks where my brain was actually functioning properly (I think it was from a megadose of b1?) where I got the ‘evidence’ that my theory is true. The more I could think clearly/ the more executive function I had, the more activities I did and the more I felt physically worse. Maybe there is a silver lining to being brain dead? lol

It’s been years since starting TRE and I still feel like an endless pit of grief. I had no idea this was hiding underneath all the dissociation. I don’t feel lighter or ‘cleansed’ or like I’m ‘shedding’ anything after years of bawling my eyes out from TRE induced emotional releases. Just when I think I’ve crossed to the other side there’s even more sadness. And before anybody asks, yes I titrate and I’m mindful of when and if I’m overdoing it ( I don’t do TRE everyday and I make sure to take long breaks after big releases). This is a matter of getting nowhere because I don’t really know how to process what’s come up. It’s clear that I need a therapist to help me through this but I’m just tired of all the work we have to constantly put in. In reality I’m a lot better than I was before starting TRE, it’s just hard to remember this when your state of mind is a lot worse! As I type this I’m realising that although I’m taking breaks between sessions, maybe I’m not integrating properly? I’m chronically ill so a lot of integration that involves physical movement isn’t really accessible to me. Has anybody been in a similar situation?

I genuinely can’t believe how much this condition has chipped away at my personhood. I don’t know who I am outside all of the anxiety and the shit I have to do to ‘manage’ this, which feels impossible to stick to when you’re chronically stressed all the time (and can’t alleviate that cos you can’t change your external circumstances right now). Not to mention developing very peculiar psychosomatic symptoms that have turned out to be even more challenging and humiliating to deal with than the ibs symptoms themselves. I’ve genuinely had enough!!! I know everybody deals with something but I want to deal with something else for my own sanity

I’m really stuck. I’m 30 now but I’ve been dealing with both mental and chronic health issues that have greatly affected my life since I was 15. The last time I worked was when I was 22, In 2022 I had to defer my last semester of my degree for 3 whole years due to Long COVID (I’m back now and barely making it through my last units). Ever since I was a child I have yearned for freedom and yet my reality is telling me that this will never happen. I feel like I stopped developing after 15 years old because I’ve missed out on a lot. I recently got out of chronic dissociation and it’s just made me realise how disconnected I am to myself, that I’ve just been a side character in my own life. There were so many decisions I wanted to make years ago that I finally want to work towards, even if it kills me in the end. The issue is I’ll be swapping the stability I currently have to do this (cheap rent at my parents house, family support) and although this is what life is all about, I think this sub can understand why I’m hesitant to take the plunge when health issues and employment instability, even homelessness are very real concerns. I’d like to move cities and find out if I’m actually capable of being on my own. For people who are stuck in a similar situation and made the leap, did you land on your feet?

I’m an eldest daughter which means that growing up, my younger sister may have viewed me as an extension of our mum. I believe this is the root cause of why she likes to keep her personal life private and may have trust issues with me, despite the fact that I have always tried to give her space growing up. We come from a religious upbringing so living double lives was inevitable.

Growing up the times I did try to get close with her and ask her about herself/ life, she wanted nothing to do with me and it felt like I was always invading her privacy by asking simple questions.

Our relationship is much better now but there is still a level of mistrust. I know I’m not entitled to info about her personal life but it’s personally very triggering for me to have my own sister get defensive and uncomfortable when I ask her innocent questions like “what did you get up to in Italy? Do you have photos you want to share?”. It makes me feel untrustworthy and small, like I don’t deserve to hear about her experiences (I’m chronically ill, so my life is sadly small and not adventurous, I like hearing about what my siblings get up to).

I wanted to ask how to navigate this aspect of my life. Whenever I have tried to ask her why she doesn’t like sharing things with me she shuts it down and we don’t really get anywhere. How do I not take it personally?

Edit: i forgot to mention that I’ve stopped asking her about her life a while ago, so this is a matter of trying to respect her boundary, trying to not take it personally and figuring out why I find it triggering in the first place

Now that I’m no longer dissociated and have come to terms with how much I have lost due to my health, I have been carrying a deep sadness with me everyday that doesn’t seem to go away. Besides trying to make up for the lost experiences, how do other women in a similar situation deal with the grief of ‘losing’ an entire decade? I recently turned 30 and I am so sad about it

I mean this with love and respect but I don’t want to read responses about how certain experiences are over glamourised or not chalked out to be from people who had the opportunity to truly live. There’s a difference between getting to live, fail and learn than to have not had those experiences at all. I think that’s what I’m most sad about, missing out on being young, dumb and free (life isn’t as fun when you’re barely making rent and your health keeps you in survival mode)

I’m realising that nobody fully understands my condition and the behaviours/ coping mechanisms I’ve developed because of it. They’re not malicious and I think they genuinely believe that they understand it but they never will and that’s just something I’ll have to deal with. It’s hard because they see other people with chronic illnesses hold down full time jobs and attend social events so they just assume that when I’m rarely at events it’s bevause I don’t want to be there. My family, friends and community just don’t get it lol, even I don’t when I think I’ve been faking the condition on my good days. It’s exhausting man

Got long COVID since 2022 but suspect I’ve had a mild form of CFS all my life which just got worse from LC. I have never been able to enjoy my life due to my health issues which have been complicated by my anxiety issues (or maybe it’s the other way round) so naturally, I feel quite bitter about my life for the lack of experiences and excitement I wanted for myself. I have a younger sister who’s constantly busy and making the best out of her life, as she should.

But whenever I speak with her about her life, I am always consumed by so much internal grief, rage and resentment bevause I want the same for me. I know it’s a younger part within me so I’m at least glad to know that it’s a separate emotional state from my baseline (and not that I’m a genuinely hateful bitter person to my core). It also doesn’t help that she really only comes to me for advice about things and doesn’t really allow me access to what she’s been up to/ has me blocked on stories. I know how this sounds, I know I’m not entitled to her life and it’s not uncommon for younger siblings to want privacy. But the level of privacy/distrust triggers a pattern of thinking for me that says “not only am I not allowed to do the things I want, but I can’t even listen about the experience itself”

Envy/jealousy tells you what you want and lack in your life, and the best way to overcome it would be to go and do those things! But I can’t - so how do I deal with this? Grief is behind it and I feel it all the time but how do I deal with the anger itself? I’m genuinely asking, I don’t want to be one of those miserable older women who projects her anger resentment onto everyone. I truly want to have a healthy relationship with my sister but my younger parts are raging all the time lol

I love the size of the pocket grand voyager but I’m planning on using lots of notebooks which will definitely cause an overhang (and I hate an overhang). The reason I’m interested in the a6 portfolio is for the storage/pockets but also because I’m assuming it will ‘turn’ into a pocket size if I pack it and the leather moulds around it

There arn’t many videos comparing the two sizes (especially showing a comparison of the same amount of notebooks inside) and it’s an expensive investment, so I want to make sure I pick the right one!

For those that have the a6 Portfolio- are you able to add more notebooks in the a6 or do the pockets and single ribbon actually make it harder to do that? July rose on TikTok has an a6 and it looks more pocket size because she’s packed it with many notebooks. Just want to know if it’s the same with other users as well

Thank you :)

Okay this is such a random question but it’s a thought that randomly bugs me from time to time. I began working for Safeway as a teen back in 2011. I started off as a casual and would be called in randomly to do a couple of shifts a week. Before given an employee code or using the finger print scanner to clock in and out of work, they’d just write down my hours on the time sheet at the front desk. I was never told to actually sign my name next to the hours I worked on the sheet at the end of my shift. This happened for weeks until a random coworker I was shelving stock with told me about it and showed me where the time sheet was. Before then I would just rock up to my shift and figured my supervisor signed off on me being present for the shift.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because when I finally accessed my bank account balance at the ATM after a month being on the job (I think I had just received my bank card then) the amount felt less than the hours I had worked. For some reason I didn’t bother asking my supervisor about it and just let it go

My question is for employees + supervisors from this time period - if an employee didn’t sign their name off on the time sheet, was it not registered as an attended shift and thus the worker wasn’t paid for it?

My libido has completely vanished, I’m even numb down there. I genuinely think I’m asexual now. I regret going on sertraline, it didn’t even help me anyway and now i feel stuck

Lots of people have been discussing whether the market bag is worth the purchase as a day bag, but the only reason I was personally drawn to the bag is because the OG bags it’s inspired by keep BREAKING. I use them ALL the time, but they always break. Yes it’s an insane amount of money, I could get any other storage bag for 1/10th of the price. But it’s baggu (a primary system I use in my everyday life), sturdy (I hope), a cute print and I’ll definitely get some good use out of it. I’d also use it for transporting supplies between places. Anybody else thinking of purchasing it first the same reason?

I’m even considering getting both colours because I can’t decide between the two and I’ll make use of both anyway 🙃

I have several conditions that force me to live in a body that I truly despise. I am still working on being much kinder to my body that has carried me through life thus far but it’s a constant battle. PEM episodes + my gut issues in particular make it impossible to exist in my body. The 24/7 mental + physical restlessness that I deal with as a result of not being able to escape my symptoms is driving me mad. People use vices to escape their triggers/ issues they’re trying to avoid. How do we do that if we can’t escape our bodies that present with constant symptoms that won’t go away?

Absolutely love how my Love and trip journal has aged, it’s similar to paper republic’s leather which is what I look for in a leather journal. I know it’s super early to ask but I wanted to know if you personally think the 20th card TN leather is similar to Love and trip leather? It’s the only TN I own (I don’t have the brown to compare) and I’ve heard each TN colour is different in texture. The card size is super cute and I can see myself using it on the daily but I’ll definitely skip purchasing it if the leather is super dry or fuzzy and unlike the love and trip