u/anonymous_state_

So this one’s a bit complicated but I’ll get right into it. My bf ‘m 25’, me ‘f 23’, and his brother ‘m 20’ hangout all of the time and me and the brother have gotten super close. So one night we are all hanging out getting drunk and we end up having a threesome. This has happened about 3 times now.

The thing is though is that the brother has a gf and now I’m feeling really shitty. Our hangouts turned into something else, they both want me every time we hangout and get drunk together. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t enjoy it and I’m also not gonna lie and say I haven’t gotten any feelings for the brother from this so….my heads just in a downward spiral.

I feel like a shitty person and I don’t know if I should tell his gf or not. I don’t want the brother getting mad at me and I also don’t want to ruin the relationship between my bf and his brother because he will be mad at both of us if I tell her. What should I do? should I just tell her? Or?

How am I suppose to do that?
Just let you go?
Only if I could have all these memories erased from my mind of you.
I listen to a song and I think of you. When I start looking outside while sunshine starts pouring in I think of you.
I leave my house, I sink my feet into the ground, the grass, the sand and all I can fucking think about is you.
Why? I’m happy where I’m at but it always feels like something is missing….someone. I miss you and can physically feel my heart hurting while yearning for you.
Why did we have to have such an extraordinary connection only for us to never have the right timing?
People always say “well maybe in the next life” But honestly….why the hell would I want to wait that long? Why would anyone want to wait that long? I love you and I miss you….I really hope that one day in this life we get the timing perfectly right.

I’m trying to have Optimism about this situation. I’m trying to have hope that one day you will reach out again. You are someone that’s always in the back of my mind…and I always ask god why? Even though I don’t fully believe in god I want to think maybe there is a reason why you won’t leave my mind. Oddly enough when I’m really stressed out I think “if he was here I would feel better instantly”

You are someone that has always calmed my nervous system and maybe that’s why I miss you so damn much. Your personality, your music, the way you could make me laugh all of the time. You’re one of the only people that helped me live life in the moment and helped me focus all of my energy and time on the moment. I think you’re one of the only people I’ve ever met that can do that for me.

Then I think back to when you contacted out of the blue….we talked for a while and you told me that you had matured and that you have been doing well. You also told me you missed me and loved me too and that gave me hope that maybe after all this time I wasn’t the only one thinking about us.

we never dated…but our connection was so fast and intense. I didn’t ever want just a romantic connection from you….i wanted friendship….i just wanted to be close to you again like we once were before you left, You’re one of the only people that just felt “right” like you were meant to be in my life….i hope that you are doing well, i miss my best-friend…i miss you….everyday.

Hey even though we never dated….even though we haven’t talk in about a year I still think about the way you touched me. it’s been yearsss since but when you broke no contact…and I saw you’re handsome face again I remembered everything.

I remember the way you’d look at me and just stare….the way you would take my face in your hands and then just take full control of me. I remember the electricity we felt so well….and odd thing is that you said you had felt it too.

But If you enjoyed me so much why didn’t you tell me?

Why didn’t you tell me you loved me? its so clear to me now how much love you held for me and now it’s too late. When you contacted me you told me you had matured….you told me you were doing better….but of course our timing is never right and I had to cut contact.

But anyways….i hope you know handsome man that I clearly I never got over you…and clearly you never got over me. I miss you and I miss you’re touch, I hope you come back to town soon 😘

I really was going back and forth about posting this but here goes nothing. I don’t know if you’re on here and well if you are I hope you see this. Why did you say all those things, why did you say “I love you” “I’m obsessed with you” “you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen” to absolutely nothing. I understand why you cut me off…but really? You Wouldn’t even give me the time of day to explain anything? Just blocked me on everything like I was nothing.

How could you even say I love you? Did you even mean it? Or was that just something simple for you to say….like it meant nothing. When I told you I loved you…I meant it with my whole heart, I felt it in my chest every time I said it to you. Almost every night I have been looking at the moon just wondering if you ever think of me too……I miss you and I still love you. I hope you unblock me soon /:

I miss you. Ugh I miss you so much. I miss talking to you everyday and I miss your good morning messages. I miss seeing your handsome face and you’re pictures from work. I miss the way you would call me princess and how you would tell me you loved me. I know we were long distance and I know that made things really hard….you could have picked anyone closer to you and you still chose me. I just hope you know I miss you….i know you blocked me on everything and I’m assuming if you wanted to talk to me you would but I just hope you know that I have been thinking of you everyday…and I still look at you’re pictures handsome, I love you.

I know you probably don’t want to talk to me now after everything, I know that what I did was really shitty of me and I know the long distance was probably already hard by itself and I have no idea if you’re on here but I promise you I was never lying to you about how I felt. You made me feel things I haven’t felt in so long…..ever since you cut me off I have been looking at the photos of you. you’re so handsome and I’m so sorry for messing everything up. I have no idea how to contact you nor am I sure if you would even want me to because at this point if you wanted to get you’re last words in I’m assuming you would have already done that by now. You just said you’d text me eventually….and you haven’t. I miss you. I miss everything about you.

Hey it’s been a while since I have been on here but lately you have been popping into my mind. I just wanted to say….

I hope you have been doing well S, I don’t why you pop into my mind randomly, at the most random times. Maybe it’s because I’m happy again?

You seem to always come back when I am doing well. Then I need to tell you I can’t talk to you which I hate. Our timing has always been off even though the times we were together were probably the most alive I’ve ever felt.

Nothing will ever take those memories away. It feels like yesterday that we would hangout all the time, Look at each other and laugh at the stupidest things. I do miss you…but I’m trying my hardest to get past this because you’ve made it impossible to contact you.

All I can do is hope and pray I move on from these feelings that have lasted forever. I hope you stay safe and healthy. I’ll always love you I guess.

-j

So I started talking to this guy and he’s been very sweet and kind throughout the whole time we have been talking and he just confessed that he lives with his baby mama which is very weird to me. We both have kids and are single, well from what he told me but everyday like clock work he stops replying at 5pm which I think is super odd….what do you guys think? Should i just cut him off?? 🤷‍♀️

That is all I’m asking from you. I want you to be honest with me. I’m tired of pretending I don’t care about you but it would definitely help to know you don’t give a fuck so I can really stop and ask myself why the hell I care so much.

Honestly these past years I have been so scared to see you on the news…in another accident or whatever. It scares the living hell out of me that you could die at any point and I wasn’t fully honest with you. I don’t know how you feel or what you’re thinking….i am not a mind reader. I’m not gonna go above and beyond to figure you out again.

You don’t give a fuck? Say it. But as the days and years pass we are getting older…we are gonna die. you cared enough to reach out to me and say something. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I feel and I’m sorry for so many things.

My heart hurts on a daily every time I think of you. I physically feel ill and I don’t know wtf to do since you cut off any point of contact. All I wanna do is hate you but i can’t….no matter what. I told you I loved you and you said it back.

Now why the fuck would you say it back if you’re not gonna come back?

That is all I’m asking from you. I want you to be honest with me. I’m tired of pretending I don’t care about you but it would definitely help to know you don’t give a fuck so I can really stop and ask myself why the hell I care so much.

Honestly these past years I have been so scared to see you on the news…in another accident or whatever. It scares the living hell out of me that you could die at any point and I wasn’t fully honest with you. I don’t know how you feel or what you’re thinking….i am not a mind reader. I’m not gonna go above and beyond to figure you out again.

You don’t give a fuck? Say it. But as the days and years pass we are getting older…we are gonna die. you cared enough to reach out to me and say something. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I feel and I’m sorry for so many things.

My heart hurts on a daily every time I think of you. I physically feel ill and I don’t know wtf to do since you cut off any point of contact. All I wanna do is hate you but i can’t….no matter what. I told you I loved you and you said it back.

Now why the fuck would you say it back if you’re not gonna come back?

Why even go through the trouble of contacting me? You contacted me out of the blue one day “hey how are you?” Like it hadn’t been years since I saw you. Even though I remember every single time I saw you through the years.

When you came to my work and were just staring at me….and tried to be slick and touch my hand, I knew what you were doing….but when we were in the store and you walked right past me like my existence didn’t mean a damn thing to you it didn’t sit right with me at all.

Then all of sudden you contacted me about a year ago….it was like no time had passed. You were trying to talk to me like a normal person but it’s hard for you. I know what you wanted to say but you couldn’t say it. Not with everything going on in our lives in that moment.

I knew how you felt and I’m pretty sure you knew how I felt. I don’t know exactly why you contacted me but I’ll just let you know one thing….if you think I feel something for you, i do.

Like fuck isn’t it obvious dude? Do I need to write it out with sharpie on your damn forehead? I don’t wanna throw a whole ass bomb into your life but since I know you’re on here now here ya go.

I’m not sure what to tag you as but we were once really close. I wish I could talk to you and ask you how you are doing these days, I miss you. I miss your presence, I miss how funny you are, I miss your smile and just the way you are as a whole, i miss smoking with you and hanging. Even when your a shit show and fucking up, I still loved you. We may not be talking right now and who knows if we will ever talk again but I just wanted to tell you that you still matter to me and probably will the rest of my life for some reason. Yeah it’s been years….many years but we have seen each other throughout and talked but your just someone I will always care for. I know friends is something you can’t be with me because it’s hard for you but if you ever need anything ask, if you need a place to stay….

Come here.

Guess what? I want you, I want you all over me, every single inch of me. I want you to take your hands and handle me. Like I really want you. Where TF are you now? You avoidant FUCK.

-j

Would you come back if I asked you?

Would you come over if I asked you?

If I told you I loved you again, would you say it back?

What do you need from me? What can I do for you? Tell me, tell me everything you have been holding back. Don’t be a coward…haha. When we were talking last you said you saw super man and it was a good movie…..I still haven’t watched it and I don’t know if I can without thinking of you…..which is why I have been ignoring the movie every-time it pops up on to the Tv screen.

When you reached out to me….what did you want from me?….you said all these things like you were wanting me…..

Do you want me? Would you want me?

Would you come back if I asked you?

Would you come over if I asked you?

If I told you I loved you again, would you say it back?

What do you need from me? What can I do for you? Tell me, tell me everything you have been holding back. Don’t be a coward…haha. When we were talking last you said you saw super man and it was a good movie…..I still haven’t watched it and I don’t know if I can without thinking of you…..which is why I have been ignoring the movie every-time it pops up on to the Tv screen.

When you reached out to me….what did you want from me?….you said all these things like you were wanting me…..

Do you want me? Would you want me?

I miss you. Sometimes I’m bad and I like to think about that night we shared. Do you? Think about it? There must have been reason you reached out to me….you must have missed me? Well I miss you. You’re one confusing man but again a man I love. Well you know this since I said it but you probably think I said it like it was just something to say…like it was nothing but no I love you, honestly and deeply.

I miss you. Sometimes I’m bad and I like to think about that night we shared. Do you? Think about it? There must have been reason you reached out to me….you must have missed me? Well I miss you. You’re one confusing man, but again a man I love, well you know this since I said it but you probably think I said it like it was just something to say…like it was nothing but no I love you, honestly and deeply.

From day one you knew what I wanted. I didn’t want nonchalant love, I didn’t want a boring ass love story. I wanted passion. You’d pick me up and you would look at me, you would just stare…Like you were trying to find every single pathway to my soul. You didn’t just touch me, you fell into me. We definitely soul bonded and you know this for a fact.

Being able to feel our energy’s like that isn’t the norm for people. Years go by and I feel it still, it quite literally doesn’t matter how much time goes by. You would touch me and everything would be heightened. The passion, the adventure, the will to do literally anything and everything. We quite literally charged each other up just by being around each other.

The looks we gave to each other when something happened like we could read each others minds always left me aghast. You are a very special person to me and will be for the rest of my life. You left a mark on my soul no body could ever get rid of. Not even myself, even if I wanted to.

There will always be a piece of me missing now, I will always feel a slight pain in my chest from it missing. I hope we are able to meet again in the next life. Maybe we have been finding each other everytime but the timing is never quite right. I’ll always love you, I hope you have a good life. I hope that in the next life our timing is right.

I would love to be able to see you, but our lifes are complicated now, too complicated. You’re so far away now….to far away. Who knows maybe we will run into each again, the universe is odd like tha

From day one you knew what I wanted. I didn’t want nonchalant love, I didn’t want a boring ass love story. I wanted passion. You’d pick me up and you would look at me, you would just stare…Like you were trying to find every single pathway to my soul. You didn’t just touch me, you fell into me. We definitely soul bonded and you know this for a fact.

Being able to feel our energy’s like that isn’t the norm for people. Years go by and I feel it still, it quite literally doesn’t matter how much time goes by. You would touch me and everything would be heightened. The passion, the adventure, the will to do literally anything and everything. We quite literally charged each other up just by being around each other.

The looks we gave to each other when something happened like we could read each others minds always left me aghast. You are a very special person to me and will be for the rest of my life. You left a mark on my soul no body could ever get rid of. Not even myself, even if I wanted to.

There will always be a piece of me missing now, I will always feel a slight pain in my chest from it missing. I hope we are able to meet again in the next life. Maybe we have been finding each other everytime but the timing is never quite right. I’ll always love you, I hope you have a good life. I hope that in the next life our timing is right.

I would love to be able to see you, but our lives are complicated now, too complicated. You’re so far away now….to far away. Who knows maybe we will run into each again, the universe is odd like that.