u/anxiety_adhd

Ces derniers temps, j’ai de plus en plus de pensées qui se mélangent. Certaines sont positives et concernent la vie que j’aimerais avoir plus tard, d’autres sont beaucoup plus réalistes et me ramènent à ma situation scolaire, financière et sociale.

Je passe la plupart de mon temps dans ma tête pour échapper à la réalité et au fait que rien ne va. Je mange n’importe quoi pour ressentir autre chose, j’écoute de la musique à fond pour ne plus m’entendre penser. J’ai parfois l’impression que je vais imploser.

Je passe mes journées seule, je peux passer des jours sans parler à personne. Je pourrais disparaître et personne ne s’en rendrait compte. Je suis suivie par des professionnels de santé depuis cinq ans, mais ce sentiment est toujours là.
Je vois constamment devant moi la vie que j’aurais pu avoir si j’avais eu des fondations plus solides, une famille solide. Et en parallèle, je sais que les choses ne s’amélioreront jamais, je n’aurai jamais confiance en moi avec un tdah qui gâche tout, jamais confiance en personne, jamais capable d’aimer ou me laisser être aimée parce que je ne sais pas ce que ça fait d’avoir confiance. J’ai l’impression de mourir à petit feu. Tout devient lourd.
C’est difficile à expliquer. J’ai cette impression persistante que je vais mourir bientôt. Ce n’est pas une pensée suicidaire, je ne suis pas triste non plus, c’est plutôt un pressentiment. Je crois que mon corps et mon cerveau sont trop fatigués d’essayer

I’ve realized that being organized is actually making me more anxious instead of helping me, and I’m looking for practical ways to deal with it.

My executive dysfunction mainly affects abstract, long-term tasks like studying. Revising for exams isn’t something you can finish in one sitting. It’s a gradual process that depends on consistency and sustained mental effort. Those are the tasks I struggle with the most because they rely entirely on me.
I also tend to wait for the “perfect” moment before starting long-term tasks like studying. Instead of making small amounts of progress each day, I feel like I need enough time, energy, and focus to do everything properly in one go. I know this way of thinking isn’t helpful, and I’ve tried to change it, but I genuinely struggle to commit to long, gradual processes where progress happens little by little.

On the other hand, I’m usually fine with concrete tasks like sending an email, dropping off a package, submitting a document, or making a phone call. I use a planning app, and completing those tasks isn’t usually the problem. In fact, I tend to hyperfocus on administrative tasks because they feel urgent, and I can’t relax until they’re resolved.
The issue starts when many of those tasks depend on external factors. For example, waiting for institutions to process paperwork, waiting for refunds, missing documents, or being told, “It will take up to a month.” I can do everything I’m supposed to do, but I still can’t actually finish the task because I’m waiting on someone else.

Since everything is listed in my planner, all of these unfinished tasks stay visible. Even after I’ve done my part, my brain still sees them as “open,” and I can’t seem to mentally let them go.
So I feel trapped between two extremes: I hyperfocus on administrative tasks that I can’t actually finish because they depend on other people, while I struggle to start academic tasks because they require long-term consistency rather than immediate completion.

How do you deal with this? How can I reduce the mental load and anxiety while staying organized instead of feeling overwhelmed by my own system?

I’ve realized that being organized is actually making me more anxious instead of helping me, and I’m looking for practical ways to deal with it.

My executive dysfunction mainly affects abstract, long-term tasks like studying. Revising for exams isn’t something you can finish in one sitting. It’s a gradual process that depends on consistency and sustained mental effort. Those are the tasks I struggle with the most because they rely entirely on me.
I also tend to wait for the “perfect” moment before starting long-term tasks like studying. Instead of making small amounts of progress each day, I feel like I need enough time, energy, and focus to do everything properly in one go. I know this way of thinking isn’t helpful, and I’ve tried to change it, but I genuinely struggle to commit to long, gradual processes where progress happens little by little.

On the other hand, I’m usually fine with concrete tasks like sending an email, dropping off a package, submitting a document, or making a phone call. I use a planning app, and completing those tasks isn’t usually the problem. In fact, I tend to hyperfocus on administrative tasks because they feel urgent, and I can’t relax until they’re resolved.
The issue starts when many of those tasks depend on external factors. For example, waiting for institutions to process paperwork, waiting for refunds, missing documents, or being told, “It will take up to a month.” I can do everything I’m supposed to do, but I still can’t actually finish the task because I’m waiting on someone else.

Since everything is listed in my planner, all of these unfinished tasks stay visible. Even after I’ve done my part, my brain still sees them as “open,” and I can’t seem to mentally let them go.
So I feel trapped between two extremes: I hyperfocus on administrative tasks that I can’t actually finish because they depend on other people, while I struggle to start academic tasks because they require long-term consistency rather than immediate completion.

How do you deal with this? How can I reduce the mental load and anxiety while staying organized instead of feeling overwhelmed by my own system?

J’ai établi mon budget annuel, je me suis accordée 100€ par mois pour ne pas craquer, et si j’utilise pas tout ça se cumule.
Ça peut aussi servir pour les imprévus.

Le problème c’est que je mange beaucoup dehors, j’ai cette « peur d’avoir faim » qui me prend toujours et pour anticiper la faim je mange toujours dehors même si je mange le matin (parfois pas parce que la faim vient souvent 2h après m’être réveillée)
Et j’ai tendance à manger mes émotions, et pour les achats compulsifs c’est pareil (quand je vais mal je sais même plus ce que j’achète). J’ai dépenser énormément dans tout ça

J’ai plusieurs questions: comment briser ce schéma, comment mieux économiser, comment moins être esclave de mes émotions,

Hi everyone, I’m 20F and I feel lost

I know this isn’t exactly an original post and there are probably tons of similar ones here, but I’ve been questioning myself for quite a while now.

I’ve always had people make comments about me potentially being attracted to women. I’ve never denied it, mainly because I was never offended by those comments or anything. I just didn’t really care.
It’s true that I had those typical childhood experiences with a friend where we had no idea what we were doing, and I know there were no romantic feelings involved.

I’ve never dated anyone, kissed anyone else then her, or really flirted with anyone. I have been attracted to men though. The thing is, those attractions never really go anywhere because when I’m attracted to someone I don’t automatically think “I want to be with them.” I don’t know if it’s related, but I think a lot of it might have to do with my anxiety.

Even when the attraction is mutual with a guy, I can’t really picture myself getting married or even being in a long-term relationship. I can’t picture myself living with a man. An intimate relationship? Sure, maybe. Although I’m not even sure I’d be comfortable enough to show my body to a man. But emotionally, I just don’t really see myself in that kind of relationship. It feels like it would only ever be temporary.
And yet I’m physically attracted to men pretty often, which is why I’m confused.

When it comes to women, it’s more of an emotional thing. I’ve had what I’d call little crushes, or maybe obsessions, I honestly don’t know. It was rare, and it was with women who weren’t particularly receptive to me. Not mean exactly, but they would brush me off a bit or tease me in a way that somehow got to me. I don’t really know how to explain it.

They’re often older women too. I don’t know why, but there’s always been something there. I feel much more flustered around them somehow. But again, I don’t really picture myself being in a relationship with a woman either even if sometimes I imagine myself living with a woman and I like that idea, but it also feels complicated because of society, and I don’t know if I’m just fantasizing and reading too much into it.
I feel like I’d love to have someone who completely understands me, whose things I can borrow. I know it sounds cheesy, but I like to imagine it.

I’ve fantasized about intimate relationships with women just like I have with men. I also tend to like older men, but I have more boundaries around that. Like, I can be attracted to them, but the idea of it being the other way around feels a bit strange, if that makes sense.

The problem is that I feel like I could potentially have an emotional connection with a woman, and maybe a sexual one too, but I’d still feel like something was missing. With a man, it feels more physical, maybe even only physical, but I’d still feel like something was missing there too. And I still like the idea of a protective and reassuring man

At the same time, I’ve never dated anyone and I don’t think I actually want to date anyone right now.
I think maybe what I’m really drawn to is the feeling of someone being protective and reassuring. I’m not sure.

J’aimerai faire des formations ou autre sur mon temps libre pour mon cv, lié à un avenir dans le droit (juriste en droit des affaires potentiellement ou propriété intellectuelle)
Je suis en l1, j’ai pas d’expérience autre que differents jobs alimentaires donc je voulais commencer à penser à mon avenir mais je pense pas être acceptée à cause de ça

Quelles formations je peux faire? (Pas trop chères et que je peux faire facilement pendant les vacances ou week-ends) et pour un petit job étudiant?

Bonjour tout le monde,

Pour le contexte j’ai F20 ans, je suis boursière et je suis en L1 de droit
Depuis mes 16 ans, je travaille en restauration rapide, comme j’ai de l’expérience, je suis sûre d’avoir un travail et il y a une grande plage d’horaire disponible
Le problème c’est que je crois que ça commence à avoir un impact sur mon corps, et sur mes études

je mange très mal parce que je suis souvent trop fatiguée pour cuisiner, donc je loupe souvent des repas pour eviter de trop mal manger. Beaucoup trop de cris, de bruits, de mouvements etc.. et je suis souvent placée en fermeture aussi donc j’arrive tard chez moi

Je rentre à pied très tard la nuit et je dois marcher 30 minutes pour arriver chez moi, qu’il fasse -5 ou 34 degré
( j’ose pas demander de l’aide so..)

En soi ça je me plains pas, j’aime bien marcher et je sais me battre, le problème, c’est que j’ai l’impression d’être complètement déréglée, je finis tard et le lundi je commence tôt donc ma semaine est complètement gâchée, on m’appelle pour faire des heures supplémentaires et j’ai des coupures dans mon emploi du temps.. (c’est pas facile de demander des ajustements parce qu’il faut que ça corresponde aux autres)

J’ai un TDA et c’est très difficile pour moi de m’organiser à la base pour mes études, j’essaye de faire de mon mieux, mais en plus de ça je suis lente alors, il faut que j’optimise mieux mon temps.

J’ai raté mon année entre autres par rapport à ça,
j’ai prêt étudiant à rembourser, donc je ne veux pas arrêter de travailler, je veux juste quelque chose de plus adapté pour moi. J’aimerais travailler en journée dans un café ou quelque chose comme ça de plus calme.

Le problème c’est que je suis libre officiellement que le samedi et le dimanche, car j’ai pas encore mon emploi du temps de l’année prochaine

je veux me garder plus de temps pour mes cours parce que c’est le plus important. Je me suis trop surestimée, et cette année s’ajoute plusieurs rendez-vous médicaux dans le mois et un logement crous (et du sport 2x par semaine mais je peux laisser tomber si c’est trop)

Je voulais rester à 15h par semaine pour payer tout ça, et avoir un revenu stable ( donc je préfère éviter tout ce qui est baby-sitting, pet-sitting et tout parce qu’il faut se faire un nom en plus)
Si tout se passe bien j’aurai fini de rembourser mon prêt dans 1 an et demi.

À votre avis, qu’est-ce que je dois faire? Je reste dans ce type de travail et j’endure encore un peu?

Bonjour tout le monde,

J’ai été acceptée dans un logement CROUS. Il fait partie d’une résidence qui a été rénovée récemment, sauf que 2 des 5 bâtiments ont une très mauvaise réputation (ceux-ci n’ont pas encore été rénovés).

Les avis sont récents et parlent de cafards, de punaises de lit, de problèmes d’arrivée d’eau et d’autres désagréments. Il n’y a littéralement que ça je n’ai vu aucun avis positif.

Il y a deux ans, j’ai eu une très mauvaise expérience dans un logement. J’avais suivi la procédure comme indiqué et je n’avais pas demandé à visiter avant la remise des clés. Je me demandais donc si, cette fois-ci, c’était possible.

J’ai déjà payé les 70 € pour sécuriser la réservation, mais je veux absolument savoir dans quel bâtiment je suis affectée avant d’y mettre les pieds.

J’ai également un second choix dans une autre résidence, un peu plus éloignée. Cependant, il y aurait eu deux viols sur le parking il y a quelques semaines, à peu d’intervalle, et j’ai peur pour ma sécurité. Apparemment, rien n’a été fait et il n’y aurait pas de caméras. Je ne souhaite donc pas du tout aller là-bas.

I tend to give up quickly when things aren’t perfect. It triggers my performance anxiety, my fear of failure, losing time, to have my belief that I’m not good enough confirmed and the fear of having to tell other people that I failed, so I avoid the situation altogether.

When I can’t do something fully or perfectly, I tend to give up. For example, I might avoid starting a sport because I’m afraid that only two sessions a week won’t be enough to make progress. I might skip studying for even one hour because I have a busy day and feel like it won’t be enough. Or I might not tell my crush that I like them because they want children and I don’t.

I’m not patient because I’m afraid of being confronted with failure or rejection. I struggle to break out of this pattern. I would like to take the time to experiment, make mistakes, try again, and maybe succeed without being afraid and without feeling the need to control everything.

Hello, I’m F20 and I’ve been diagnosed for 3 weeks, and my psychiatrist prescribed me Ritalin (10 mg long-acting, twice a day) before passing away..

It doesn’t seem to do anything for my executive dysfunction, perfectionism, or performance anxiety, and I’m missing my exam out of fear.
My anxiety hasn’t gone away, and I’m still hyperfocusing on random things, even though I know my exams are coming up soon.

This is why I was seeking an ADHD diagnosis for the past year. I procrastinate when things aren’t perfect or when I don’t know exactly what to do or where to start. For example, I’m studying law and I can’t write an essay, but it’s “easier” for me when it’s multiple-choice questions.

When I run out of time, it becomes an “all or nothing” situation. I spend my time panicking about not having enough time, and it’s the same for things I want to do or even enjoy doing. I had two months to start, but because I couldn’t understand one course, it blocked me from doing the others.

I kept constantly thinking: “You’re late, you haven’t started the first course, you’re not going to remember anything, you’re wasting time, you’re too slow.” Then I feel like I need to rest even though I haven’t made much progress, and I cope by overeating or making impulsive purchases. After that, I no longer dare to look at my course.

It’s draining, and I’m scared the medication won’t work. I’ve seen multiple therapists before for simple consultations; they told me it was anxiety and mostly just listened and talked about my family. That’s why I booked an appointment for CBT. I just hope they won’t only tell me to “set a timer, start earlier, or break tasks down,” because I’ve heard that a lot, and it doesn’t work for me.

I had plans for my life, and since my diagnosis was confirmed, it feels like everything is falling apart. I’m glad I know, but I can’t stay in denial anymore. I have to rethink all my future plans, instead of telling myself, “You procrastinated, but next time just work earlier.”

I was planning to build a routine and start exercising regularly. I thought all I needed was motivation, and I couldn’t understand why that wasn’t enough, but I was still hopeful.

ADHD isn’t something that just goes away. I’m scared of failing, and I’m scared of becoming a failure

When I’m dreaming, I feel like I can talk, act, and think as if I didn’t have ADHD or anxiety. It’s like being the person I would be if I had been born without them. I don’t have any intrusive thoughts; I’m social and can be clumsy without feeling like it’s the end of the world. I do get stressed sometimes, but it’s a good kind of stress, it motivates me rather than paralyzing me.

I can’t control my dreams, but I do feel conscious in some of them, especially the realistic ones, and I want to stay there.

But then I wake up, and I feel like everything is falling on me. I remember I’m late on a task, I remember that I’m repeating a year again, I remember that I have to clean the house. I feel frozen.

Does the fact that I can experience a version of myself free from my mental health disorders in dreams or another reality mean that I can also feel that way in real life?