u/aroace_gay44

I think I might be apothisexual so I wanna some of you guys’ signs of how you realized you’re apothi?

So I’m apothisexual but I have an average libido? Is there anyone else like this and can apothisexuals have a libido?

I recently started to identify as apothisexual (I’ve known I was ace since 2 years ago) and I feel repulsed and uncomfortable if someone expresses sexual feelings to me or if a sexual activity includes me in real life, however sometimes when my libido gets a bit higher and I get horny sometimes I can watch porn or adult videos because it doesn’t include me and I watch it from a distance but most of the time I have no interest in those videos whatsoever so I personally think I can still be apothisexual even if it fluctuates rarely, but I wanted to know your opinions

How often do you masturbate?
And I know that you can be ace and still masturbate how much you want to

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I used to masturbate every single day 2-3 times a day for like 3 years but then I started doing it a bit less and over the last year I’ve gone a week or 10 days or one time even a whole month without masturbating but I still go back to doing it and I get very disappointed in myself, I’ve been porn free for over 50 days now but quitting masturbation seems even harder for me, I really need some advice or tips

I’m sure I’m aroace but I question my sexuality a lot sometimes and it makes me feel sad and I feel like I’m the only one, I feel aesthetic attraction only for men and that makes me think I’m gay but I’m pretty sure I’m not, I feel so alone sometimes

Idk if this belongs here but I wanted to ask people who do experience sexual attraction to know how it feels like? I’m asexual and I think I’ve never felt sexual attraction to anyone so I’m curious

For context I identify as a gay oriented aroace but I always say just aroace or just asexual for people who don’t know a lot about it, I’ve been identifying as aroace for 2 years now and recently I started questioning if I’m really aroace because I had a long distance relationship with a guy for 7 months which is why I started identifying as gay oriented, and because I was raised in a homophobic country (being gay is legal but the society is very homophobic) I thought maybe I have that fear and shame and I’m suppressing my feelings but part of me feels like I’m definitely aroace since I only experience aesthetic attraction for men like I can tell if a guy is attractive but I don’t wanna do anything with him I just wanna look at him for a long time and appreciate his beauty, when I was in therapy I even did some practice because I was questioning my sexuality and when I imagined myself having sex with someone it made me kinda repulsed and I’m not a big fan of romantic relationships either even though I was in a very good relationship, I just wanna do my hobbies and enjoy my life and when I see memes or stuff from asexual communities on Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit etc I definitely relate more to them rather than the gay male community

So I’m not jewish, I’m actually atheist and ex muslim (thankfully) and I’m queer (asexual) and I wanted to know more about queer people who support Israel or at least who don’t support Palestine since most of the queer community supports Palestine for some reason, which I find really strange when gay people in Palestine literally get killed and I heard some people say that “in Israel gay marriage isn’t legal” and I’m like you can’t compare a country where gay marriage isn’t legal and a country that criminalizes being gay, at least in Israel there’s actually pride parade and stuff, I just find the queers for Palestine thing so disturbing

Yesterday I commented on an instagram post that wasn’t related to sexualities and a guy replied to my comment asking if I was gay and he also asked if I was a man or a woman which made me feel happy that he couldn’t tell my gender (I’m agender and I look androgynous) anyways, I told him that I’m asexual and aromantic and then he started making some rude comments trying to make me feel bad, calling my virgin boy, virgin dude, incel etc and he was being very childish and then I also started being childish to give him a taste of his own medicine, then another guy started commenting saying that he just had sex (wtf) and I’ll always be a virgin (as if that’s a bad thing) and started saying that I’m very ugly which makes sense why I’m aroace etc
I replied saying that being asexual isn’t a choice and being a virgin isn’t a bad thing, I literally hate sex (and it’s not the case for all asexuals)
None of that makes me feel bad about myself, but it just annoys me that people don’t take us seriously and a lot of people say that aroaces don’t get oppressed and we have it very easy 😒

Am I the only aroace person that often feels jealous when they see a couple being happy together? For me it only happens with a gay male couple, I’m very happy for them and I think they’re really cute but I often feel jealous when I see them together and wish I could be in a relationship with a guy as well, but only in a romantic way, definitely NOT in a sexual way, like I would never wanna be in a sexual relationship
Maybe it’s because I was in a long distance relationship with a guy for 7 months and he broke up with me last week, so maybe it reminds me of him and what our future could’ve been together

Hey everyone, this is a bit private but if you’re comfortable answering, do you masturbate and how often?
I know libido and sexual attraction are completely different things and you can be ace and still masturbate as often as you want to

I’m aroace and neurodivergent (autism and OCD) and I only have online friends, I don’t have any irl friends, I used to have 2 of them but growing up I lost those friendships and I wanna know are there other neurodivergent aroaces here who want to have friendships but struggle to make or keep them? I feel sometimes lonely and isolated even though most of the time I’m very happy by myself

My boyfriend and I were long distance partners and we were together for 7 months, we met on AceSpace bc we’re both on the aroace spectrum, and we had the most perfect relationship, we loved everything about each other even our flaws, our future plan was for both of us to move to Germany, since I wanna study there and live together, now I know moving to a different country is not easy at all but I really believed we could do it, and he told me a few times that he would rather stay in his home country but didn’t say that we should break up, so today when I got a very long message from him saying that we should break up and not text to each other again it broke my heart
Then we had a conversation asking him if he was sure about this decision and I know I can’t change his mind so I respected his decision and we stopped texting and removed each other from everywhere
It’s been about 4 hours since that happened and I’ve cried a lot but it comes in waves, I forget and check my phone waiting for a message from him then I remember it’s never gonna happen again, anything good or bad that happened in my life I immediately texted him so now I lost my closest person and the person I loved the most, I don’t think I’m gonna look for another partner since I’m aroace and I enjoyed being single as well
Do you have any advice on how can I handle a breakup?

I’m gonna write this as shortly as I can
Basically I started masturbating when I was 15 (4 years ago) and ever since then I started doing it every single day multiple times a day, 2 years ago I found out I was asexual and realized that I don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, then I saw online that some ace people never masturbate and for some reason my brain was like “you should be like them, you should envy them or else you’re a failure” but I didn’t start to reduce my masturbation until last year I think and since then I started to go 2-3 days without doing it then it turned to a week, then last December-January I went a month without masturbating and about 2 weeks without porn and I felt amazing, BUT when I did it again I felt very bad and since then I started to not do it for a couple of days-a week, then in March it got extremely bad to the point that I had suicidal thoughts and started harming myself (only scratches with my nails) so I went to my therapist that I hadn’t been to since July 2025, I felt better for a few weeks and I even started masturbating about once or twice a week and I didn’t feel bad at all it was amazing, about 2 weeks ago I started having the guilt and anxiety again and I went to see her again and this time I was more determined to really find a solution so I got an app to block porn websites and it was great and today (10 days later) I ended up ejaculating without properly masturbating and I literally had a panic attack (I’ve never had one before) and I felt like I wanted to die and my life was never gonna get better, and now 2 hours later I’m calm again but I feel very empty and numb and sad and I didn’t know where I could find support or find someone that understands me
Btw I will go to my therapist and psychiatrist again these days
Also, if you’re wondering why am I posting it here, it’s because last year around this time I had dpdr for a few weeks and it was really bad but these days it came back again and I think it’s because of the long periods of stress because of my masturbation addiction and last year was because I came out to my family as asexual and they didn’t support me so it was because of the stress again, so now as I am writing this I still have dpdr and I hope it goes away quickly

I’m gonna write this as shortly as I can
Basically I started masturbating when I was 15 (4 years ago) and ever since then I started doing it every single day multiple times a day, 2 years ago I found out I was asexual and realized that I don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, then I saw online that some ace people never masturbate and for some reason my brain was like “you should be like them, you should envy them or else you’re a failure” but I didn’t start to reduce my masturbation until last year I think and since then I started to go 2-3 days without doing it then it turned to a week, then last December-January I went a month without masturbating and about 2 weeks without porn and I felt amazing, BUT when I did it again I felt very bad and since then I started to not do it for a couple of days-a week, then in March it got extremely bad to the point that I had suicidal thoughts and started harming myself (only scratches with my nails) so I went to my therapist that I hadn’t been to since July 2025, I felt better for a few weeks and I even started masturbating about once or twice a week and I didn’t feel bad at all it was amazing, about 2 weeks ago I started having the guilt and anxiety again and I went to see her again and this time I was more determined to really find a solution so I got an app to block porn websites and it was great and today (10 days later) I ended up ejaculating without properly masturbating and I literally had a panic attack (I’ve never had one before) and I felt like I wanted to die and my life was never gonna get better, and now 2 hours later I’m calm again but I feel very empty and numb and sad and I didn’t know where I could find support or find someone that understands me
Btw I will go to my therapist and psychiatrist again these days