u/austingirl95

They set me high upon the table bench, So all the heavy eyes could see my face. The room was thick with ink and smoky stench. A grand and terrifying, friendless place.

The bad man wore a robe of midnight thread, He fed me sweetmeats, stroked my tangled hair. He whispered wicked things that you had said, And asked me if the devil dog was there.

I only wanted him to smile at me, I only wanted them to call me good. I didn't know about the gallows- tree, I didn't know they'd built it out of wood.

I pointed out my finger like a toy. I spoke the words he taught me how to frame. The courtroom shouted out with cruel joy, And sealed the black rope tightly to your name.

Now Malkin tower is empty, cold and still, The bad men left, their heavy wagons gone. The wind is weeping over Pendle hill, And I am left to face the dark alone.

I'm sorry , mammy, for the table bench, I'm sorry for the words I dropped like stone. I traded you for sugar plums and praise, And now I have to walk these moors alone.

I am really sorry about how I treated people 4 days ago genuinely I am it's just I've had a difficult relationship with my body for years and 4 years ago I started changing my composition and lifting weights, protein etc

I know it will take years to see changes and to be consistent nothing is a marathon but im very lean , underweight, athletic I haven't ran for a year due to injury that's why I got mad at people who called me 30% body fat and obese basically im not

My diet is very good I eat clean, whole foods and no junk

But to end i am sorry hope you can forgive me ❤️❤️🙏

I'm in a vulnerable state and I have an ED this year has been terrible i didn't need to hear that

I strength train 3x a week, I eat my protein and I try and try and try

And that's never enough !!!!! 😭😭😭

That morning she was so excited, grinning innocently with joy, her bright blue eyes beaming with anticipation of meeting Cinderella or Mickey Mouse at the gates. 4 years old, her first time travelling - clutching her ticket like a golden passport She was finally going to Disneyland.

That morning, sitting with her mother, she looked out the window, mesmerised by the view below - of zoomed - out fields, a patchwork of green and tiny dots of houses like toys in a box. The clouds were soft pillows beneath the silver wings. This was real now She was on her way to Disneyland.

The engines hummed a gentle, steady song, as she dreamed of castles towering in the sun, bright balloons and parades marching down the street. She held her doll tight, waiting for the magic to begin.

That morning... She doesn't remember much. The hum of the plane turned fuzzy and confusing She heard shouting, an abrupt rush of wind, but that was it. Then, everything turned white.

That morning she remembers holding her mother's hand- a steady anchor- as they approached a door in this quiet, white place. glittering, sparkling in a soft light, But it felt warm, loving and welcoming. They were surrounded by an endless happiness. When the door opened. her little smile grew wider than before. She heard a faint muffled sound of A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes followed by an echo of children's shrieks.

No more shouting. No more fear. The castle gates were wide open. She was here. She was finally in her own Disneyland. Together, they were finally safe in their own Disneyland.

That morning she was so excited, grinning innocently with joy, her bright blue eyes beaming with anticipation of meeting Cinderella or Mickey Mouse at the gates. 4 years old, her first time travelling - clutching her ticket like a golden passport She was finally going to Disneyland.

That morning, sitting with her mother, she looked out the window, mesmerised by the view below - of zoomed - out fields, a patchwork of green and tiny dots of houses like toys in a box. The clouds were soft pillows beneath the silver wings. This was real now She was on her way to Disneyland.

The engines hummed a gentle, steady song, as she dreamed of castles towering in the sun, bright balloons and parades marching down the street. She held her doll tight, waiting for the magic to begin.

That morning... She doesn't remember much. The hum of the plane turned fuzzy and confusing She heard shouting, an abrupt rush of wind, but that was it. Then, everything turned white.

That morning she remembers holding her mother's hand- a steady anchor- as they approached a door in this quiet, white place. glittering, sparkling in a soft light, But it felt warm, loving and welcoming. They were surrounded by an endless happiness. When the door opened. her little smile grew wider than before. She heard a faint muffled sound of A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes followed by an echo of children's shrieks.

No more shouting. No more fear. The castle gates were wide open. She was here. She was finally in her own Disneyland. Together, they were finally safe in their own Disneyland.

That morning she was so excited,

grinning innocently with joy, her bright blue eyes beaming with anticipation of meeting Cinderella or Mickey Mouse at the gates.

4 years old, her first time travelling.

She was finally going to Disneyland.

​

That morning, sitting with her mother,

she looked out the window,

mesmerised by the view below -

of zoomed out fields

and tiny white dots of houses.

This was real now.

She was on her way to Disneyland.

​

That morning...

She doesn't remember.

It was fuzzy and confusing

She heard shouting, but that was it.

Then everything turned white.

​

That morning she remembers holding her mother's hand as they approached a door in this white place that had glitter all around.

It felt warm, loving and welcoming.

​

They were surrounded by happiness

When the door opened,

Her little smile grew wider.

The faint muffled sound of A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes,

followed by an echo of children's shrieks and laughter.

​

She was here. She was in her own Disneyland.

​

​

In memory of Juliana Valentine Mccourt, Christine Lee Hanson and every child who lost their lives on September 11th 2001 25 years ago in 2 months 🙏🇬🇧🇺🇸📝👩‍💻❤️💔🌷⚘️

That morning she was so excited,

grinning innocently with joy, her bright blue eyes beaming with anticipation of meeting Cinderella or Mickey Mouse at the gates.

4 years old, her first time travelling.

She was finally going to Disneyland.

​

That morning, sitting with her mother,

she looked out the window,

mesmerised by the view below -

of zoomed out fields

and tiny white dots of houses.

This was real now.

She was on her way to Disneyland.

​

That morning...

She doesn't remember.

It was fuzzy and confusing

She heard shouting, but that was it.

Then everything turned white.

​

That morning she remembers holding her mother's hand as they approached a door in this white place that had glitter all around.

It felt warm, loving and welcoming.

​

They were surrounded by happiness

When the door opened,

Her little smile grew wider.

The faint muffled sound of A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes,

followed by an echo of children's shrieks and laughter.

​

She was here. She was in her own Disneyland.

​

​

In memory Of Juliana Mccourt, Christine lee Hanson and every child who lost their lives on September 11th 2001

​

25 years in 2 months you will never be forgotten 💔🙏🇬🇧🇺🇸📝👩‍💻⚘️🌷🌹

On this walk I cannot see, blinded by a damp cloth shielding my eyes.

A stale, vinegar odour clamps my nostrils to block the smell. A windy walk, uncomfortable, yet I am comforted by the breeze through my hair, my skin refreshing. Followed by a whistle in my ear.

I remember the Colne road, the peddler and his heavy pack. I only begged for pins - silver wire, sharp and small, just to hold my winter rags together.

A sharp word dropped. The old man fell. My own tongue betrayed me to the magistrate. Now those tiny pins have grown to heavy iron. A harsh walk. Jab, Jab, Jab goes the man with the cane.

These heavy objects on my wrists are rusty, chipped and heavy. The pressure is too paralysing for a girl of ninteen Final walk. We see the castle rise on the hill. A stone building that utterly despises me.

It hates women, It hates everyone. Everything. But as the gallows shadow falls, I am not afraid. My feet are torn. but this is a walk for the future.

On this walk I cannot see, blinded by a damp cloth shielding my eyes.

A stale, vinegar odour clamps my nostrils to block the smell. A windy walk, uncomfortable, yet I am comforted by the breeze through my hair, my skin refreshing. Followed by a whistle in my ear.

I remember the Colne road, the peddler and his heavy pack. I only begged for pins - silver wire, sharp and small, just to hold my winter rags together.

A sharp word dropped. The old man fell. My own tongue betrayed me to the magistrate. Now those tiny pins have grown to heavy iron. A harsh walk. Jab, Jab, Jab goes the man with the cane.

These heavy objects on my wrists are rusty, chipped and heavy. The pressure is too paralysing for a girl of ninteen Final walk. We see the castle rise on the hill. A stone building that utterly despises me.

It hates women, It hates everyone. Everything. But as the gallows shadow falls, I am not afraid. My feet are torn. but this is a walk for the future.

Hire me to write it I'll just pick anyone 🤣🤣😂

Every single day,

The world is thick with mist.

I look for a clearing,

But the fog moves in closer.

It dictates every choice,

Measuring, weighing, hiding.

A white chalky cloud

covering my eyes.

My brain is shrinking,

I feel it day by day.

My identity is dimming out slowly,

fading into the grey.

But I look ahead,

searching for a breakthrough.

Far off, a tiny spec of light_

Blurry , but still there.

This is a poem I'm planning to submit soon it's about my lived experience with an ED called orthorexia nervosa hope you enjoy! 🥰❤️

I got diagnosed last year and its been absolutely horrible the episodes ive had i dont even recognise .....myself anymore I feel like a stranger 💔💔 ive got no identity or life anymore its horrendous

I got diagnosed last year and its been absolutely horrible the episodes ive had i dont even recognise .....myself anymore I feel like a stranger 💔💔 ive got no identity or life anymore its horrendous