u/badmiddling113

Just keep this in mind. Of course, servers will talk about how skilled the job is. However, it’s essentially easy money.

EDIT: And to clarify since I have pro tippers/severs fixated on the word "lecture", asking...

"wheN hAs A sErVeR lEcTuReD yOu In ReAl LiFe?"

No server has actually lectured me in real life. What I am referring to is servers telling people (e.g., online) they don't make much at a job that is supposedly really skilled. In the thread, servers pretty much say working at a fining dining location isn't that much more work than a casual place, but is more lucrative.

Talk about missing the point...

For all those who think servers aren't taking advantage of the system north of the border...

*** Posting this before I consume a McWrap with grilled chicken and bacon, a large Diet Coke to go with it. I was considering going to Moxie's (Canadian chain) for dinner, but McDonalds is more convenient. Besides, it's too damn hot for the patio. Anyways, here goes...***

I (35 M) have not felt ‘right’ for as long as I can remember. Most people experience growing pains in life, but mine felt more than that.

I went through middle school as B student, high school as a B student, and university as… a B student. Bs are fine, but they’re just that… fine. I felt like I had more to give, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. When all was said and done, it felt like I came up short while everybody else moved onto bigger and better things. My situation, though, never seemed to get better  - even marginally.

Pursuing a career, for instance, has yet to happen. I have had jobs, but they tend to be easy entry ones where I know full well I will be leaving after a year or so. My current job, though, is where I realized something might actually be wrong with me. I (customer service rep) find myself overwhelmed after certain calls. You can joke and say it’s the callers, but it’s answering the questions and managing what’s in front of me. I (the last person there each day) even broke down at my desk one evening. The scope of the call was straightforward, yet getting to the end was excruciating.

That weekend, I heard a knock on the door. “Can I come in?”, asked this woman (early 50s) as she entered my apartment. It was the "Can I come in?" where they enter as they're asking. Turns out, she was in the building to help tenants complete the census. So you can get the Mrs. Robinson thoughts out of your head...

“Will the noise from this [the microwave] bother you?” 

“That’s exactly how my son with ADHD would phrase that question.” 

“Do you think I have ADHD?”

“I really think you do.”

At that moment, everything made sense. We spent the next half hour or so tackling piles of stuff that had been lying around since I moved in. Just for context, I moved into my apartment in November of 2025…  She also explained out how my living space reflected someone with ADHD (e.g., drop zones, doom piles, etc.).

Later that evening, I made my way to the gas station (a nightly routine) to grab some snacks. For those wondering, a couple cans of Bubly and a Kitkat.

"How's it going'?", asked the guy up front.

"I think I have ADHD", I blurted out.

"Knew it."

Turns out, he has ADHD as well. He said I show strong signs of ADHD whenever I pass through. I was taken back at first, but it made more sense when I thought about it. No wonder I have gotten the "sorry, I'm just not feeling it" texts after every first - and only - date over the past couple years.

Finally, I met up with a friend for coffee on Canada Day. We're still friends, even though we were a disaster when we tried dating. The conversation was light hearted until she could tell something was on my mind. That's when I told her what's been going on.

"Yup. That doesn't surprise me."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah."

I am still contemplating how to move forward. I'm afraid of what lies ahead, but I'm struggling with my current situation. Advice is welcome and support is appreciated.