u/bakecakes12

I know they are building the new Cars in MK, but we’re going in March with two Cars obsessed boys.

Is there any place to see any type of Cars other than the AOA hotel? We’re staying at AKL.

We are throwing my almost 4 year old a birthday party this year. He’s the youngest in his preschool class so he’s been to a ton of parties over the last year. We have brought gifts to all of them.

I can’t imagine getting 10-15 presents. Not only is that overwhelming but I find it unnecessary. We are pretty good about not gifting our kids things just because they want them and honestly, I can’t imagine a kid needing that many toys.

Am I the mean mom if I say “no presents please” on the invite? How do I explain this to him when a 4 year old is so centered on birthdays and presents.

The nice people of Personal Finance sent me over here. I was asking about thoughts on taking money out of the market to pay down mortgage and I was told I should start thinking about coastFIRE. I have no idea where to begin or how to even know you have enough. Below are some stats.

Cash/Investments:

Yearly Income: $350k (combined)

Cash/Emergency Fund: $40k

401ks + Roth IRA (backdoor): $855k
- both contribute 6% with employee match, $14k combined a year in backdoor Roth and 2-3% additional from one spouse into a deferred comp plan

Investment Accounts: $425k

Total Cash/Investments: $1.3M

Two 529s: $40k combined (two kids are under 4)

Monthly Debt:

$3.8k mortgage (including tax/insurance and extra $300 a month on the principal) on a house worth $750k ($390k left on loan at 6.4%)

$3.1k in daycare - not a true debt, but it's not going anywhere anytime soon

No car payments or loans otherwise

Our goals are to pay down the mortgage sooner than later (considering taking out $100-150k in the near future to start the process) and pay for tuition/room&board for two kids. We enjoy traveling.. haven’t done much of that lately but once the kids are a little older hope to start back up again.

I personally would love to one day work a less intense job and be more available for my kids in the middle school years/be at every sporting event they play in. How do you know when you can take that step back? When do you know you are in the coast range and can just let the interest compound?

Tips and insight are greatly appreciated!
Edit: we are 40 and would love to retire comfortably and travel, spend time with family.

I aggressively invested in my 20s and 30s, the best I could and now I am trying to decide what to do with the excess money we have each month. We are both 40 years old and working full time with two kids

Cash/Investments:

Yearly Income: $350k (combined)

Cash/Emergency Fund: $40k

401ks + Roth IRA (backdoor): $855k

Investment Accounts: $425k

Total Cash/Investments: $1.3M

Two 529s: $40k combined (two kids are under 4)

Monthly Debt:

$3.8k mortgage (including tax/insurance and extra $300 a month on the principal, true payment is $3.5k) on a house worth $750k ($390k left on loan at 6.4%)

$3.1k in daycare - not a debt, but it's not going anywhere anytime soon

No car payments or loans otherwise

Should we throw as much money as possible at the mortgage? We already put extra towards it but not sure if we should prioritize more investing or the mortgage. It is our single biggest expense each month with a fairly high interest rate.

My parents were good enough parents but also had some major flaws. My siblings and I didn't think they ever actually liked each other that much when we were young (kids really do pick up on everything), which came out recently as mom admitted she tried to leave at one point. I wrote off marriage for a long time because who would want to be miserable like them and my mom stressed to me to put off having kids as long as possible since once I had kids, my life would be over. I have a lot of resentment for this as once I did have kids I was clearly saddened that I waited so long to experience the best part of my life and wished I had them sooner so I could have had more.

They also took care of us all financially which was always greatly appreciated and always seemed important to them (money over feelings for sure). I like them, but they have their flaws and we are not going to be best friends after various events that have happened since I had children/I feel I need to protect my kids and want to raise them differently... breaking the cycle. My father has said some pretty mean things to me over the years, I don't need my kids around that. We were closer at one point but I have decided to distance myself. It's easy since we're a few hours away from each other but I never made any type of statement about why I was pulling away. Not worth the hassle.. my father can be quite aggressive and mean.

My mom is now sick. She has Alzheimer's in her early 70s. It is progressing fairly quickly. Not sure how to handle where we go from here. I am not desperate to go out of my way to see them. I lost my grandmother to the same thing (not too long ago and she was vastly older) so I do know how this progresses and where it is headed. But I feel like my parents let me down now that I am a parent myself. Plus we don't necessarily agree with how my Dad handled the care for the last year and have questions about how we got here so quickly (there was a lot of taking away her independence once he retired).

Not sure where I go from here.. if you have any insights or have been in a similar situation, please share what you can!

From late 2021 until two months ago , I was either pregnant or nursing. I was never able to get pregnant on my own and needed IVF to get us there. Due to extended nursing and back to back babies, I did not fully get a period back until about 6 months ago.

I have an Oura ring which helps me track. I was having textbook perfect cycles. 10-12 days from ovulation to period (always had a short luteal phase), no acne, no migraines. I thought I was cured!

Last cycle was a little wonky. This one was full on back to pre-kid PCOS problems. Acne, migraines, anxiety. Spotting 7 days post ovulation. It’s really disheartening to have it all come back after so long. I feel like I was a better version of myself for the last few years.

I can’t take birth control to manage it. The estrogen in the pill caused me to have serious side effects that they were concerned would lead to blood clots. The progesterone pill made me feel worse.

What has made you feel better? I can’t stand feeling this way. Anyone have any luck with intositol?

As suspected, my mom’s bloodwork came back positive for Alzheimer’s. The same thing that took her mother, my grandmother, only 10 years ago. My mom seems so young for this (70) vs my grandma in her late 80s.

Having seen my grandmother go through it, I know what to expect. She passed away from a fall while in memory care - she was fiercely independent and never wanted help which led to the fall. She never got to the end stages of the disease though since she passed from something else 3 years after her diagnosis.

It’s hard, I live 2 hours away, work a full time job and have two toddlers. I can’t be there all the time, or much really. My dad is her caretaker and my sister is close by.

It just sucks. That’s all

Going at the end of February

Currently planning to arrive on Monday and fly out on Saturday. 3 park days with a rest day. 2 days at MK and 1 tbd park.

Kids will be 4.5 and 2.5 (boys who do not care for princesses)

Staying at AKL

- Was thinking AK for third park, any suggestions/recommendations? We love Bluey but I hear that’s a mess so now not stuck on AK. Is AK necessary if we’re staying at the hotel and can see animals there?

- Full rest day with kids this age? Or will we get bored with all day at the pool. Should we add 4th park day for a half day somewhere in the afternoon?

- Anything else to know?

I will never understand why corporate jobs are not more flexible in offering part time or reduced hours (well, profits.. so there is that).

I have a 4 and 2 year old and another day sitting here just wishing I could have a fun summer with them. I thrive on coming up with activities, playing with them, taking them to parks/libraries. Even one day off every other week would be a game changer, but it's not anything offered at my company or really for anyone I know at other major corporations as well. I would never want to stay home full time and couldn't based on the COL where we live, but it just hurts.

Weekends go by too fast. Their childhood is spent at a daycare they love, but I feel like I am missing out on so much. This is my favorite age. It's just such a bummer. I can't be the only one who feels this.

I wish this was a standard tag.
How is anyone tracking this as it definitely messes with my sleep

Just got my ring. My goal is to track health/fitness and cycle. Already impressed with one night of sleep and how it tracked my run.

What features do you like? Anything to know? I have two kids and I’m not in perimenopause yet. Is it worth connecting it to natural cycles or another app?

Ordered mine on May 28th and it’s still in transit, scheduled to deliver tomorrow. Did they think this was the actual ring? Anyone else have this issue?

I am 40 with a 4 and 2 year old. I have frozen embryos from when I was 35, but I feel like I need to make the decision now or never.

I had a very scary delivery with my second. I am scared to do it again. I’m finally in therapy now. If I didn’t have that terrible experience, I think I would be pregnant already. I had a very rare delivery complication that led to a stat section.

Pros:
My husband said it’s up to me. He tells me if I want a third we can do it and then I catch him looking longer at little babies, saying he could see a baby with our other two.

We have enough space in our house and financially can afford a third. We can fund 529s for three and pay for childcare.

While IVF is not a guarantee, we have good grades left and our previous transfers have worked. I am not worried about being 40 and getting pregnant.

Cons:
The trips I dream of to Europe as a family in 2-3 years would be a financial push. I like going on trips and with 4 it’s already outrageous and I can’t imagine prices for 5.

I am scared to deliver and be pregnant. I’m not sure it’s worth the risk again with two healthy kids at home. I also would be 41 at delivery. I can’t imagine recovery at this point if it’s not a standard delivery.

I finally have myself back after almost 5 straight years of nursing and pregnancy (nursed for almost 3 years combined). I’m back to fitness - I’m training for a hyrox. I’d need to cut back for a while if pregnant.

I don’t really thrive in chaos. My two kids are pretty chill (all things considered.. two boys, no I don’t want a girl, all my embryos are boys). We also have no help - no family, no friends to pick up the slack.. just daycare. Sick days can be hard on two working parents with demanding careers

What do you do if you’re me? No

My 2 year old has had pretty bad eczema for most of his life. The allergist/immunologist has classified it as “severe”.

He was born via emergency csection (stat, so both us wouldn’t have survived otherwise). I have always wondered if the method of delivery caused gut issues, as my first has no allergies/eczema but it is what it is.

Around 6 months when we introduced dairy (was EBF so no exposure prior) he developed severe eczema and vomited. He was diagnosed with an IgE milk protein allergy. If he had something with the smallest cross contamination he had eczema (moderate).

A little over a year, he was skin tested again and passed. We introduced dairy and had little eczema. Recently, it has flared up terribly. We can’t figure it out. We had an environmental allergy panel done, nothing. Our allergist (at a top children’s hospital) just recommends continuing as normal and managing with medicine. We will use trimcinolone as necessary, with hydrocortisone. There is relief for a week or so and then it’s back to severe.

We’re at a loss. I would love to figure out what the cause is, but don’t know where to go from here. Autoimmune issues run in our family (crohns) but he has had no symptoms related to that.

Any advice would be helpful on toddlers and eczema.

Edit: THANK YOU! Great suggestions

Is this something you can do? Order from a local pizza place and have it delivered to the hotel (AKL).. I can’t be the first one to want to do this ha

22 month old does not nap on the weekends anymore and if he does, it’s 30-45 mins max after a lot of activity. I’m not surprised, my oldest dropped his nap around the same time.

The issue is daycare has a 1-3pm “quiet time” and my youngest decides to nap the full 2 hours. They won’t cap naps. They won’t not offer the nap.. I’m stuck

This is pushing bedtime to 9-10pm. I can’t cope. I normally go to bed at 9:30-9:45 but I can’t get my own stuff done (make lunches, finish up work, etc). Now I am staying up late, not getting enough sleep since I either get up early for the gym or to go to work.

Not sure what I’m looking for here. But this is so miserable for everyone.

Going with two little kids (4.5 and 2.5) next year, before the little one turns 3.

Between the following weeks..
Feb 28 - March 6
April 18 - April 24
April 25 - May 1
May 2 - May 8

Looking to avoid spring break crowds (Easter is 3/28 in 2027) and I don’t like oppressive heat. High 80s is my max.

Question then for all you frequent travelers, when would you go?