u/chesyrahsyrah

Graduated girlies, I need some mani inspo. Please post photos of what you did for your nails!

Fiancé and I would like to honeymoon in Italy next summer. Originally I wanted to go back to the Amalfi Coast (last visited in 2018), but I’ve read/seen that it’s so over-crowded nowadays. Same issue for Cinque Terre.

Then I looked into Sicily but it seems like it’s easiest to get around by rental car, and we prefer not to drive in foreign countries. Same issue with Puglia.

There’s Lake Como, but I prefer a coast over a lake.

Are there any coastal towns that are easily accessible by train or ferry and aren’t as crowded? Or do you have recommendations in Sicily or Puglia and tips for getting around?

Here’s what we’re looking for in a destination:
-romantic, charming, cozy vibes
-a good beach
-a town where we can walk around easily and/or take transit to get around
-not jam packed with tourists (yes, I know we’ll be tourists, I see the irony)
-good food/seafood is a plus
-clean and safe is a plus (I loved Naples for reference, but that’s not the vibe for the honeymoon)

For context, my mom has always been obsessed with her image and her looks, and by extension, my looks. She devoted a lot of time to maintaining her beauty and her weight, and she constantly weighed me too. I’m now in my early 30s (female) and I’ve gained some weight in the last few years, so I’m now mid-sized. My mom is still very thin and I know she is embarrassed by my weight gain.

Once I moved out and finished college at 22, she wouldn’t contact me much, even though we live 30 minutes away from each other. We speak or each other on holidays and birthdays. But she still loves to brag about my life events/accomplishments to her friends. She makes sure to take a photo with me each holiday/birthday to post to her social media.

I’ve been with my fiancé for a few years. She’s been asking us for years when we’d get married and we finally decided to tie the knot this year. She couldn’t be more excited. Not for me necessarily, but because now she gets to be the Mother of the Bride to her guests. That’s right, the first question she asked was how many guests she gets to invite, even though she’s not contributing to the wedding.

After the initial engagement excitement, I got started on wedding planning. Months went by and my mom never once reached out to ask how wedding planning was going, let alone inquire about my general wellbeing. This is how I know she doesn’t actually care, and she’s just using my wedding to show off to her friends. I did let her invite a handful of family friends who I personally know well, but I’ve been rejecting her additional requests for random people I don’t know.

This past week, we had our engagement photoshoot and our photographer posted a sneak peek (a few shots) on their social media pages. I shared the sneak peek post to my facebook wall. My mom “liked” the post but didn’t leave a comment nor did she reach out to me to say anything about the photos. Instead, she shared the post to her Facebook wall to rake in the likes and comments from her friends. So she cultivates this image to her friends that she’s this loving mom but in reality she doesn’t talk to me. I think I looked good in the photos but I suspect the reason she hasn’t said anything is because I’m no longer stick thin.

We’re Taiwanese American immigrants, so I grew up around the culture of “saving face.” My mom has always been obsessed with her image and her looks, and by extension, my looks. She devoted a lot of time to maintaining her beauty and her weight, and she constantly weighed me too. (This will become relevant, I promise.)

Once I moved out and finished college, she didn’t contact me much, even though we live 30 minutes away from each other. Idk if this is generational and/or cultural? We speak/see each other on holidays and birthdays. But she still loves to brag about my life events/accomplishments to her friends. She makes sure to take a photo with me each holiday/birthday to post to her social media.

I’ve been with my fiancé for a few years and she’s been asking us to get married for years and we finally decided to get married, and she couldn’t be more excited. I don’t know if she’s actually happy for me, or if she’s just happy to check this off my list of things I should accomplish in my life. I think she’s excited to get to be the Mother of the Bride to her guests. That’s right, the first question she asked was how many guests she gets to invite, even though she’s not contributing to the wedding.

After the initial engagement excitement, I got started on wedding planning. Months went by and my mom never once reached out to ask how wedding planning was going, let alone inquire about my general wellbeing. This is how I know she doesn’t actually care, and she’s using my wedding to show off to her friends.

This past week, we had our engagement photoshoot and our photographer posted a sneak peek (a few shots) on their social media pages. This is when I should mention that I’m now in my early 30s and I’ve gained some weight in the last few years, so I’m now mid-sized. I still think I looked pretty good in the photos, but I’m no longer the petite woman I used to be (and my mom is still very thin) and I know my mom disapproves of my weight gain but won’t say it to my face. You know, the whole “saving face” thing.

Anyways, I shared my photographer’s sneak peek to my facebook wall. My mom “liked” the post but didn’t leave a comment nor did she reach out to me to say anything about the photos. Instead, she shared the post to her Facebook wall to rake in the likes and comments from her friends. So she cultivates this image to her friends that she’s this loving mom but in reality she doesn’t talk to me.

Can anyone else relate? Is any of this cultural or did I get stuck with a sucky mom?

Can anyone else relate to this?

We’re Taiwanese American immigrants, so I grew up around the culture of “saving face.” My mom has always been obsessed with her image and her looks, and by extension, my looks. She devoted a lot of time to maintaining her beauty and her weight, and she constantly weighed me too. (This will become relevant, I promise.)

Once I moved out and finished college, she didn’t contact me much, even though we live 30 minutes away from each other. Idk if this is generational and/or cultural? We speak/see each other on holidays and birthdays. But she still loves to brag about my life events/accomplishments to her friends. She makes sure to take a photo with me each holiday/birthday to post to her social media.

I’ve been with my fiancé for a few years and she’s been asking us to get married for years and we finally decided to get married, and she couldn’t be more excited. I don’t know if she’s actually happy for me, or if she’s just happy to check this off my list of things I should accomplish in my life. I think she’s excited to get to be the Mother of the Bride to her guests. That’s right, the first question she asked was how many guests she gets to invite, even though she’s not contributing to the wedding.

After the initial engagement excitement, I got started on wedding planning. Months went by and my mom never once reached out to ask how wedding planning was going, let alone inquire about my general wellbeing. This is how I know she doesn’t actually care, and she’s using my wedding to show off to her friends.

This past week, we had our engagement photoshoot and our photographer posted a sneak peek (a few shots) on their social media pages. This is when I should mention that I’m now in my early 30s and I’ve gained some weight in the last few years, so I’m now mid-sized. I still think I looked pretty good in the photos, but I’m no longer the petite woman I used to be (and my mom is still very thin (and I suspect she has an ED because she barely eats)) and I know my mom disapproves of my weight gain but won’t say it to my face. You know, the whole “saving face” thing.

Anyways, I shared my photographer’s sneak peek to my facebook wall. My mom “liked” the post but didn’t leave a comment nor did she reach out to me via text to say anything about the photos. Instead, she shared the post to her Facebook wall to rake in the likes and comments from her friends. So she cultivates this image to her friends that she’s this loving mom but in reality she doesn’t talk to me.

Can anyone else relate? Is any of this cultural or did I get stuck with a sucky mom?

I’m LC with my mom and considering going NC after my wedding this fall. The main reason being that she enables my adult NEET sister and chooses her over me. My 35 yo sister lives with her and doesn’t work. No physical disabilities. Just depression and undiagnosed mental illness (I have depression too, but I still gotta work to pay the bills, ya know?).

I live with my fiancé. My mom has been asking us when we’d get married for years. Now it’s finally happening and she couldn’t be more excited. Not because she’s happy for me. But because she gets to be the mother of the bride and show off to her friends. Her first question was how many people she could invite (despite not contributing to the wedding besides buying my dress - which I did appreciate, don’t get me wrong).

I (foolishly) allowed myself to optimistically believe that my wedding would provide an opportunity to improve my relationship with my mom. I made my sister a bridesmaid out of familial obligation, because I knew they would both be upset if I didn’t. Let’s call her P. At first, P seemed enthusiastic. Then, after a round of dress shopping, I had a convo with P urging her to get a job. After that, P stopped responding to my texts. This was inconvenient because I needed P to pick a bridesmaid dress. I spoke with my mom about this and my mom spoke with P and told me that it would be best to drop P from the wedding party now, since “she’s always changing her mind.” I was disappointed, but I remembered that I didn’t want her in the wedding in the first place so this was actually a blessing. But this was the last straw for me, after years of very low contact from my mom. Months went by and my mom never once reached out to ask me how wedding planning was going, let alone how I was doing. She only reaches out on holidays and birthdays and when she needs something.

This brings me to the “small” thing that happened this week. We had our engagement photo shoot and our photographer shared a sneak peek on their social media. I shared the post on my Facebook wall. My mom “liked” my post but didn’t leave a comment. Instead, she shared it to her wall to rake in the likes from
her friends. She hasn’t reached out to me to say anything about the photos. My mom has always cared a lot about her looks and my looks and our weight. I’ve gained some weight (which made dress shopping with her not fun), so that’s probably why she doesn’t have anything nice to say.

If you’ve read all of this, thank you for reading. She wasn’t a terrible mom, but these things hurt my feelings and I don’t want to put up with it anymore.

I’m trying to choose between 3 options for our tasting. We can choose 2 for the tasting, and then we have to narrow it down to 1 salmon option. The other entree choices will be short rib and vegan pasta primavera. The wedding will be in Seattle in October.

View Poll

Fellow East Asian Brides, what color are you choosing or did you choose for your nails? Post photos if you already had your wedding!

I’m just curious and want to start an informal poll: how much did you pay on tariffs, if anything? It would be helpful if you can include your purchase month, dress designer, and your state.

I’ll start:
Purchase date: February 2026
Designer: Maggie Sottero
Tariff fee: $100
State: Washington