Your best “walks into a bar” jokes

Three factions walk into a bar, what happens?

Example:

A Salamander, a Raven Guard, and an Iron Hands walks into a bar. The bartender looks over and says “Y’all here for the group therapy session?” 🤣

Yea it ain’t that good, but I’m bad at writing jokes so what ya gonna do. Share what ya got for a good laugh!

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u/chip594csx — 9 days ago

(Spoilers) A theory about Nihilux

So remember that one episode of Jimmy Neutron where he cloned himself, and all the copies had different personalities and quirks? I think Aha did that. Out of all the Aeons, Aha is one that interacts with mortals the most, right behind Akivili. My thinking is that to help spread Elation, Aha made these “proxies” to go out and do… stuff. Each one is a fragment of Aha, adopting some of THEIR quirks into their own individual personalities. But they are also still Aha, having THIER knowledge and memories. Think of it like Sparkle, how she’s had and shed many masks. Each was her, but also a different version of Sparkle.

Nihilux is one such “mask of Aha” sent out to spread Elation. Her method (currently) is making a manga about the Express. I also think she was on Planarcadia to monitor the Voracity husk and act as the invisible administrator of the Phantasmoon games. She was the one that healed Himeko, probably to repay that massive debt Aha racked up while on the Express, which could have been a different Aha “mask” as well. Some “masks” believe in good clean fun, just doing things that make everyone smile. And some have more twisted senses of humor, doing strange and dangerous things. I think Nihilux is the former.

Now some of you are probably asking “What do you mean by administrator of the games? Isn’t that Evanescia’s job? And if she is, why did she do nothing during the Phanstasmoon game?”

Evanescia wasn’t the administrator, she was the referee. She steps in when someone breaks the rules. The administrator is the one behind the scenes, pushing buttons and pulling levers. So why did Nihilux not interfere? Well she did. She gave Trailblazer the mask. When? Precisely when we needed it. What do she and Evanescia always call the Trailblazer? The Protagonist. (Also she was facing her deadlines and trapped by the IPC till she finished)

Every time Aha has seemingly appeared, it’s a small moment of divine intervention to help the hero win. In story telling, there’s a plot device called Deus ex Machina, “god from the machine.” Dates back to ancient Greek plays where to fix plot problems in the story, a random character, often a Greek god, magically appears and just fixes everything. “The machine” refers to the mechanisms used to lift the character from under the stage. Deus ex Machina can be a handy device, but if used incorrectly, it can make the protagonist’s story null and void. All the trials mean nothing because some just came and got rid of the problem. As a writer, Nihilux would understand that (probably), so, as Aha, she had to limit her involvement to lending a hand at just the right moment to tip the odds. A tiny dose of divine intervention at a critical moment is a very effective plot device. First was to give the Trailblazer their mask and gain the power of Elation during a crucial fight, and second was to help the express escape the Voracity husk. She also helped nudged the plot along in other places as a “guiding NPC,” like when we went to Pearlux Tower. She nudges the story here and there to keep things moving.

“So why reveal herself now?” Because we were running out of time. We had a few hours till the husk broke loose and the Marketing Department was waisting it. She had to start playing all the cards she had, stepping out of the role of character and into author. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

That’s how I see it all anyway. We won’t know more till the next patch. I am upset at this patch though. Not because the story was bad, but because I got spoiled on the ending and it ruined the fun. That’s why I always try to play the patch as soon as it comes out, but sometimes I just don’t have the time 🥺

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u/chip594csx — 1 month ago

First sisters of my homebrew

My first army was Salamanders, they’re my favorite faction. But Sisters are close behind so decided to grab some. I went to research them more to figure out colors and learned about the different orders. I couldn’t decide on an order, so I made my own, The Order of the Rosen Shield!

They descend from Sacred Rose and hold a lot of similar ideas, especially prioritizing civilians and such. In battle they function a lot like assault or shock troops, deploying hard and are very adaptable and independent.

Their colors are black armor, crimson red cloth with black interior, and gold lining everywhere. I liked the look of the black and red armor colors Martyred Lady has (the classic look), so I tried to make it my own. I couldn’t really think of any other scheme that looked good to me. I know folks are gonna think they are Martyred Lady, and I’ll deal with it. Working on getting custom decals but it’s a process, especially since I’m not much of an artist.

I also tried some more artsy stuff with these, like shades and contrasts, as well as decorating bases. I think they look great!

u/chip594csx — 1 month ago

Curious about homebrew orders

I’m planning to build some Sisters soon, and before I do I wanted to do a little research on them, make sure I get things lore accurate. Found out that there are different orders beyond what I first knew which was just Ordos Militant and Ordos Hospitalis. Also learned the ones featured on all the boxes are Order of the Martyred Lady (basically the Ultramarines of the faction it seems), and that the other Orders have different color schemes.

After reading wikis and looking at lore videos, I found two Orders I like the most: Order of the Sacred Rose and Order of the Ebon Chalice. My first army is Salamanders, which is the faction that really got me interested in Warhammer, and the Sacred Rose has a lot of similarities with them, like prioritizing civilians and being genuinely approachable. But I also like the Ebon Chalice, I like how they’re like special ops, formed by Dominica herself, and I also like their color scheme, mainly the black armor.

I can’t pick between them, but then I thought about doing a homebrew for best of both. A split of Sacred Rose with similar armor colors and combat strategies to Ebon Chalice. Saw a wiki with a list of cool homebrews and it inspired me a little. Anything to keep in mind if I make one though?

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u/chip594csx — 2 months ago

What kinds of units do Salamanders use or don't use?

So I got into Warhammer this year and past few months been painting my little Salamanders. I got a few basic troops but I'm wondering what more specialized units Salamanders usually employ or don't have all together. Like, do they use jump pack troopers or bulwark soldiers (sword and shield guys, dunno the actual name)? I know they like their meltas and flamers, but what about plasma? Do they regularly use dreadnoughts? Sorry for all the questions, just trying to plan what to buy.

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u/chip594csx — 2 months ago
▲ 15 r/Fallout

If you became the leader of your favorite faction, what would you do?

Mine is the Brotherhood of Steel, and I’d make them focus more on actually helping society. We’d work on restoring manufacturing facilities so we can mass produce food, medicine, and other things people need. We’d also help the people, more than just fighting. Education, repair services, trade, all that. Instead of focusing on rebuilding America, we’d work to build a new society, free of the sins of the past.

I really vibe with the East Coast chapter because they are more active about helping, but I don’t like Elder Maxson in 4 because he’s too aggressive and militant. He’s a great soldier and tactician, but not all problems require force.

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u/chip594csx — 2 months ago

If you were reincarnated as a species of monster girl, which one would you pick?

I’d probably pick lamia for the handy tail, but centaur and arachne are close behind. They’re my top three favorite species.

I really wanna see some isekai anime where the MC becomes a monster girl. “So I’m a Spider” comes close but the plot is kinda wild, and she ends up losing her arachne form, which is boring. 😑

Yea we’ve gotten isekai protagonists who reincarnate as non-humans, but they’re either a possessed object or some kind of animal or beast type monster. And the few that are more human are usually guys, I think. Closest we get to a cute monster girl is Rimiru. At least give me a cute elf girl or something man 😭

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Advice for a (sort of) first try at Dead Money

Long story short, despite numerous runs of New Vegas over the years, I’ve only attempted Dead Money twice, and barely got far. Got that habit of starting games, getting partway through, then putting them down for a few years only to come back and try again. Done a number of tries of NV though, but always avoided Dead Money. Giving the game one more try now that they announced the remakes, so that means trying Dead Money one more time, and I could use some advice. Mainly how to avoid my head exploding as soon as I walk into the jail room with Dog 🤣

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago
▲ 17 r/Fallout

What color do y’all make your HUDs/Pip-Boys?

I always go with blue. The default amber in NV and 4 tended to blend with the bland tan of the wasteland. Blue stands out but isn’t a harsh color, it’s actually a pretty soothing color to me. Gotta stay calm wandering the wastes!

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Trying to get new Steam Controller working for Fallout 3 on PC

So got the Fallouts on Steam, if it wasn't clear, and also got a Steam Controller, the new one, back in May when they came out. I also got a Steam Deck for Christmas last year. Anyway, I started up Fallout 3 today on my Deck, all good no issues, played a little on the couch till I had to leave. Got back home, went and sat down at my desk to pick up where I left off, and for some reason my Steam Controller isn't working for the game. I know it says, "controllers not supported," but I assumed if it works for the Deck, which is essentially a controller with a screen, then the Steam Controller would auto work on PC. Also tried some community layouts to fix the issue, which is this:

When I boot up the game, I can use the left stick to cycle through menus, hit A to accept, but B does not back me out. When playing, I can use right stick to move my camera around, but left stick does nothing and I have to use WASD, and I can't use A to interact, and it still gives me keyboard inputs. It's like its half registering, half not. I'm too stupid to try and figure it out, what's the fix? I prefer controllers over mouse and keyboard, it's a lot easier on my hands.

u/chip594csx — 3 months ago
▲ 34 r/Rivian

Question for the all electric owners…

Back in May we got an R1S and absolutely love it. So much, tomorrow we trade our F-150 in for an R1T, and will be selling our Mini soon after!

Last month we drove from Atlanta to Fredericksburg and back, and in total spent about $150 in charging. At current gas prices, that’s the same as one tank of gas for our truck! A major motivator to us getting the R1T.

And since we’re getting rid of all our gas cars and going all electric, I have a question for those who are also all electric: How are the savings? Is it a big difference not having to pay for gas? How soon did you feel it? My father recently retired so our family has to really be aware of spending. We’re pretty prepared for going all electric, this is just me being curious :)

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Crashing when trying to load a save

Playing on Steam and been playing for a few days now, doing good, but hit a problem today. Whenever I try to load up a save, it goes to the loading screen then stops and crashes. It was working just fine last time I played. I just got the game recently so I only have the one save. Tried an autosave but same result. I only just got to Ostigar though so I’m not far but I’d rather not have to start way over, Dwarf Noble prologue is tedious

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Play them now or wait for remasters?

My timing is wild. So I played New Vegas and Fallout 3 on Xbox (never finished 3 sadly), and for Christmas I got a Steam Deck so been nabbing old and new games for it, as well as the Steam Machine whenever I get one. Not but a few days before the announcement, I added New Vegas to my wishlist 🤣

I’m wondering if I should go ahead and get them on Steam and play them, maybe try some mods, or just wait for the remasters to improve them. 3 was really hard because of the gameplay, hated that I couldn’t actually aim down sights.

Thing is, we don’t know when the remasters are coming. So is it better to get the originals and play them now so the remasters feel better, or just wait and save a little money. 🤔

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Origins showing it’s age

Got DA 1-3 on Steam sale and was super excited. Played through them all on Xbox and I was excited to play them again on my Steam Deck. Then I found out that not only does Origins NOT have any controller support, it doesn’t do cloud saves and I already started on my desktop. I can adjust to the controls, but being at my desk all day hurts my back.

Also, while I’m at it, does Dragon Age II have cloud save and controller support? I’m sure Inquisition does. Also, how does save importing work on Steam/PC? Still have to use Dragon Age Keep?

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago

Farming time? Nonexistent

I love this dragon. I can blast through farming in like a minute, and look sick as heck doing it 😋

Definitely my favorite character so far. Cool look, cool lore, cute personality, awesome fighting style, she’s just perfect. And bonus points for being voiced by the same VA as Raiden Shogun!

u/chip594csx — 3 months ago
▲ 17 r/Steam

The fate of gift cards?

Ever since Valve announced they were stopping production of physical gift cards, I noticed all my local stores weren't carrying any. I have two theories: The stores misinterpreted Valve and thought the cards were discontinued and void, so they got rid of them, or people bought out all the stock.

Either way, I'm upset about it all because my mother, who never understood video games, would buy cards for me so I can just pick my own Christmas and birthday presents. She's very sweet, she just can't tell the difference between Call of Duty and Halo, and nothing wrong with that! I'm just sad because now she doesn't have a way to buy me Steam cards, and I know she'll feel bad about it.

I heard something about digital cards, but I don't know how it works. And I doubt I can explain how to my mom XD

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago
▲ 3 r/Rivian

What’s it like owning 2 Rivians for the app?

So back in May my family began leasing an R1S, and we absolutely love it. Even my mom, who was very hesitant, fell in love with it. We loved it so much, we’re trading in our F-150 for an R1T! It won’t be ready till September, so we have lots of time to take care of stuff. But it does leave me some questions, mainly how two vehicles work in the app? Is it easy to switch between them with a swipe? Or does it not like being connected to cars?

Also any other tips for owning two Rivians, or advice about the R1T? We’re already working on getting a second charger, so that’s not a worry.

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u/chip594csx — 3 months ago