u/flowermarket99

I work from home and find myself needing a snack in the afternoon. Because I’m home with a kitchen, I have time/flexibility to make a snack that requires some prep or assembly.

I usually have fruit, nut butter, cheese, yogurt and bread on hand so sometimes it will be a combo of those things but I’m uninspired recently. I did make homemade popcorn this week and that was a nice change.

Looking for ideas on healthier snacks (trying to stay away from things like bagged chips since I can easily lose self control)

I don’t have kids yet but am getting married soon and will have kids in the next few years.

I strongly dislike my soon-to-be MIL. She is emotionally retarded (my fiancé’s words), has major anger management issues, and thinks things are her way or the highway. There are many stories but this is not the purpose of my post.

Thankfully my situation is pretty manageable because my MIL lives in another continent so I only see her a few times a year. I know the day we have kids we will see her more often since she is baby obsessed. I’ve read a lot of stories on here about baby obsessed MILs so I am bracing myself for what’s to come.

My question is: I keep wondering how my future kids will feel about their grandma. Ironically I think she’ll be an okay grandma despite her horrible personality. Do kids pick up on tensions between the mom and MIL? How do these dynamics affect the grandkids as they grow older? I don’t want to or plan to make my children hate their MIL but I had a very different experience growing up where everyone genuinely got along.

I know this is a pretty broad question and it’s very situation dependent but still curious if anyone has stories or anecdotes they can share.

This is more of a vent post but curious reactions or anyone who can relate

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years

I am Jewish on both sides. I love Jewish culture and traditions, and while I am not Kosher or overly observant, one of my most important values is closeness to the Jewish community. I am also a Zionist and have felt more connected than ever to the community after October 7th.

My boyfriend was raised Jewish. His dad was Jewish (he passed away before we met). His mom is not Jewish and never converted, but appreciates Judaism and maintained a Jewish household (Shabbat dinners, Reform synagogue on high holidays, Kosher style). His mom does celebrate Christmas and Easter in her home since she loves those holidays (in a “non religious” way) so my boyfriend did partake in these celebrations growing up.

I am aware that my boyfriend is not considered Jewish under Orthodox law but that doesn’t matter to me.

Here’s where some issues have been coming up, though:
My boyfriend values Jewish community but he doesn’t actively seek it. I was raised in a home where my parents encouraged me to make Jewish friends, attend Jewish community events, and go on Israel teen tours.
My boyfriend does not seek out these things for himself and wasn’t encouraged to by his parents. He is happy to have Jewish friends but it’s not a priority for him like it is for me. Many of his close friends are non Jewish and critical of Israel, or hang out in very left-leaning circles which makes me a bit uncomfortable.

When we talk about raising a family, we’re on the same page about having a Jewish home, but he did grow up celebrating Christmas (more “commercially”) and we are not aligned. I was clear I will never have a Christmas tree in my home and he wasn’t super happy about that.

When it comes to dating, I chose my partner for many reasons, one of them being that he’s Jewish. He doesn’t agree with that belief and says he didn’t choose me because I’m Jewish, it was more of a “happy accident.” I worry about the day we have children because I will want to encourage my children to marry Jewish and he is more neutral about it, and I’m not sure whether it could cause problems for us as parents. He feels weird holding the belief of only only married Jewish because his own mother is not Jewish.

Overall, I feel like my boyfriend subconsciously has some resentment towards Judaism because he was not/is not viewed as “Jewish enough” by certain communities because his mom isn’t Jewish, so he constantly challenges “his Jewish side.” Whether it’s Israel, or a Jewish holiday, or topics like sending kids to Jewish school, he can be critical and I think he’s a bit insecure about these spaces because of his own identity.

His siblings don’t really care about religion and it feels like only “my side” of the family will ever value Judaism the way I do. They don’t prioritize dating/marrying someone Jewish and it’s highly possible they will marry outside the religion. I know I can’t change them, but it’s still hard.

My boyfriend isn’t an Anti Zionist Jew by any means, but he also doesn’t feel a strong connection to Israel like I do and he is less bothered than me by anti Zionism/antisemitism.

Overall it just feels like we experience Jewishness very differently and it’s making me question things and whether this will be a bigger problem down the line.

Can anyone relate to this?

Any trich/hair pulling friendly hair salons in NYC? Looking for someone good at haircuts especially after a bad pulling season. Thanks!

What is everyone doing for wedding day jewelry?

My mom and grandma have some pieces that I like but don’t love. They’re a bit dated. I love the idea of something old/borrowed, but I don’t think the jewelry they own works well unfortunately.

I’ve looked into Verstolo (jewelry rental) because I’m not ready to make a big/expensive jewelry purchase and want to be thoughtful of any pieces I buy for myself.

I can’t tell if renting jewelry is kind of tacky? No shame to brides who are doing this, since I’m genuinely considering it, but it feels a little strange to wear a ~30k necklace that I don’t/my family doesn’t own. Maybe I’m overthinking it?

Hola. Estoy en el proceso de comprar un vuelo con avianca. Tengo 3 nombres segundos, y Avianca tiene un limite de caracters entonces el nombre no cabe.

Como manejar esto?? Gracias!

Looking at wedding dates next year and wondering if it’s a bad idea to have a wedding in Cartagena first week of September. I know it might be rainy season. Would like advice.

Thank you!

Looking at wedding dates next year and wondering if it’s a bad idea to have a wedding in Cartagena first week of September. I know it might be rainy season. Would like advice.

If not Cartagena, how is Medellin first week of September?

Thank you!

Getting married in Colombia. $150k budget for wedding day (not including other events) with some flexibility.

For context- 200 guests, outdoor ceremony in a garden, tented reception. Nice decoration and very good catering but nothing over the top.

Planner knew we had a budget we wanted to stick to. She organizes a lot of luxury weddings in Colombia, and is someone we know personally / is in my (bride’s) circle/people we know. We’ve been to multiple weddings she has organized and they are all beautiful and seamless.

Here’s the issue - planner works in a very informal fashion - no contract, no signatures, no spreadsheets. Everything lives in her brain and in Whatsapp chats.

We made the mistake of trusting her (and we have major regrets that we did) when she guaranteed that our budget was healthy for a nice wedding. We insisted she provide a vendor cost breakdown early in planning - she gave us some price estimates for things like photographer and venue but nowhere near enough information - and encouraged us to commit to things because “everything would work out.”

We are now 3 months out from the wedding and it turns out $150k is nowhere near enough for the kind of wedding we wanted. Just catering for small bites during the cocktail and buffet style dinner (alcohol not included) is 55k for 200 people.

Planner currently has us at 245k total and says she can only reduce further if we choose other vendors which she says she would normally not recommend because they are tacky, or the food is bad, etc.

We’re at a loss and can’t believe how 150k won’t get us a nice wedding in South America and I am seriously considering calling off this wedding because we can’t increase our budget to 245k. We feel cheated by our planner and have major regrets that we trusted her to deliver something nice with what we think is a generous budget. But somehow she says that alternative vendors are not nice and we’d need to make a lot of sacrifices and risk it looking tacky.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? This is causing so much stress for my fiance, me and our families.

I recognize we made a big mistake by trusting this planner. We definitely learned our lesson. But good news is nothing is on paper.

EDIT:

Figured I’d share the full budget breakdown for anyone who’s curious -

Ambulance - $650 (venue is in remote area)
Amenities for bathrooms - $325
Water bottles for buses - $200
Tent - $8,100
Catering - $55,000
Decoration (includes ceremony set up, tent furniture/decor/flowers) - $67,000 (FYI had to fire previous decorator who quoted us $120,000)
DJ - $2,700
Photo and video (covers 3 events) - $9,300
Officiant -$1,200
Venue fee - $10,800
Hora loca (Colombian dancers etc at midnight) - $1,700
Printed goods (table number, ceremony booklets etc) - $1,600
Alcohol (will be based on consumption but estimate) - $11,000
Lighting and sound - $21,000
Coffee station - $1,000
China/silverware rental - $3,200
Food for staff - $1,000
Ceremony music - $1,500
Cleaning staff for bathroom - $250
Day of logistics staff - $1,000
Flooring for ceremony and tent - $13,200
Dessert table - $3,200
Welcome gifts- $1,200
Delivery of welcome gifts to hotels - $400
Planner fee - $14,000
Transportation to and from wedding for guests - $3,000
Cash for unforeseen things - $4,000

This feels extremely excessive to us and it also feels like US pricing, not Colombia pricing

Did anyone try on and have photos or reviews? Thanks!

Hi! Is anyone selling the Danielle Frankel simple tulle veil in chapel length (ideally pearl color)? Looking for one - getting married Sept 2026!

MIL landed after a long flight and came straight to our apartment to hang out before her hotel check in time. She announced that she wanted to nap on our bed (we only have one bedroom so it was either our bed or our sofa). She was wearing her airport/plane clothes to make matters worse. Am I being dramatic, or is it fair that I am really upset about this?

Hi! I’m getting married in September and my fiance and I are looking for ideas on a resort in continental US for our minimoon.

We’re thinking 4-5 nights, open to any state.

Mainly looking for somewhere beautiful and relaxing with good food. Doesn’t need to have a beach.

Ideally under 1k/night.

Thank you!!

Hi! I’m getting married in September and am looking for ideas on a resort in continental US for my minimoon. We’re thinking 4-5 nights, open to any state. Mainly looking for somewhere beautiful and relaxing with good food. Doesn’t need to have a beach.

I need to plan an icebreaker for an upcoming 200+ person company onsite (in-person). Any advice on engaging and non-cringe icebreakers would be much appreciated!

Hi everyone,

I am getting married in South America (in my home country). My wedding planner is from my community/someone we know personally (not well, but we know her/she knows my family). She does most of the weddings for my community. My fiance (who is from Europe) and I live in the US now though, so this is a destination wedding for us and many of our guests.

The one thing that has shocked us and that has made us super uneasy is that our planner won’t give us prices for anything. Our wedding is this coming September and we still don’t know what the tented reception will cost, how much the flowers will cost, the price of the catering, flooring, lighting, etc. We have been asking for this information for over 3 months now and she is acting like we are crazy and that we will know more “closer to the wedding.” I feel like my fiance’s family and my family are blindly making decisions without knowing what things cost. Our planner knows our budget is 150k but we are not tracking anything. There are no spreadsheets, nothing is documented. We just communicate via Whatsapp and even though most vendors are booked we don’t have a clue what they cost.

Is this normal? I don’t really have anything to compare this to. Our planner seems very annoyed by my fiance and I because we keep asking for a breakdown of all of the costs. I feel like from what I read online, in the US and in Europe, you are given a price breakdown early in the planning process.

Hi! Is anyone selling the Danielle Frankel simple tulle veil in chapel length (ideally pearl color)? Looking for one - getting married Sept 2026!

I am getting married this year and am looking to choose 4-5 hora songs to send to my DJ to play.

What are your favorite hora songs to dance to / that you’ve seen guests get very pumped by?

We are Jewish but our guests are a mix (it will be the first Jewish wedding for some of them) so hoping to make it very fun and lively.

Thanks!!