u/herefortherubbish

I'm buying my first car on my own and it's been hard finding a decent one in my budget ($5000). So far I've only looked at privately-sold cars but saw a decent-looking 2005 Honda Accord at a used car dealership nearby.

This is a world I know next to nothing about and I need advice! The car is listed at $4900 which I'm fine with. Are they going to try to sell me extra stuff? Haggle? Will they do PPI's there or will I need to take it to a Honda dealership?

Thanks!

My faithful 2004 Honda Civic came to the end of its life last week, and I'm needing a new (used) car. My budget is $5000 and I've never bought a car on my own before.

Obviously a used car at this price is going to have some issues, and equally obviously I'm wanting something as reliable and drama-free as possible, Honda or Toyota, 4 door sedan, CR-V or Rav.

Any tips on what I should look for and what to avoid? What are issues that are expected, and what are deal breakers? Should I get a PPI?

Thanks! :)

My faithful 2004 Honda Civic came to the end of its life last week, and I'm needing a new (used) car. My budget is $5000 and I've never bought a car on my own before.

Obviously a used car at this price is going to have some issues, and equally obviously I'm wanting something as reliable and drama-free as possible, Honda or Toyota, 4 door sedan, CR-V or Rav.

Any tips on what I should look for and what to avoid? What are issues that are expected, and what are deal breakers? Should I get a PPI?

Thanks! :)

tl;dr: A ton of what I think are red flags at new shelter job but not sure.

I just got an animal care position at my local shelter, and it seems to me that red flags are everywhere:

1. The manager took three weeks from my interview to tell me I got the job, and then another three weeks to get me started. She also had me scheduled for one of my first shifts starting at 4pm, then called me at 1pm asking where I was
2. The numerous people training me are giving me conflicting info. Some vital info is straight up omitted depending who's teaching me, like isolation and quarantine areas protocol
3. I'm not being trained thoroughly, and then I get weird judgy looks if I ask how to do something because I honestly don't know
4. When there are no volunteers, I'm expected to take care of everything - adoption cats and dogs, holding area/quarantine cats and dogs, laundry, dishes, donations, plus all the unexpected things that come up. This is quite literally impossible to do in 6.5 hours
5. I see seasoned staff doing questionable things like putting a healthy dog in the outdoor quarantine yard, then other staff get in trouble for doing it
6. A dog was left outside in 25 degree (celsius) heat with no shade or water for two hours. No one cared when I brought it up
7. I saw a staff member bodily drag a terrified, stressed out dog into his new kennel
8. The behaviour team expects us to do the following when a timid dog needs to go out for potty breaks: We are to take every reactive dog outside and away from the area, set up an x-pen to contain and corral the timid dog towards the yard, and just wait for them to feel comfortable enough to leave and come back. There is NO space or time to realistically do this
9. On my first solo shift my boss had me do some more training on the spur of the moment for over an hour, which obviously put me way behind

There's more but you get the idea. Should I run?

I'm alone. Can someone message me?

I just started a new job at my local Humane Society and I'm seeing red flags everywhere, but not sure if this kind of chaos is just normal.

1. The manager is super disorganized. It took her three weeks from offering me the position to letting me know when I'd be starting. She's also given me a start time of 4pm and then called me at 1pm to ask where I am. She changed my schedule at the last minute to cover some of the other staff's vacation time and just announced it to me. I get that it's all hands on deck, but at least ask and say thanks.

2. I saw one of the staff who was transferring a very sensitive, stressed out dog to a new kennel bodily drag him into his new area when he planted his feet and was quite clearly terrified.

3. The people training me keep omitting really vital info. We have one yard for quarantine dogs to go in, and when I was trained I was told nothing about disinfecting it between dogs, which I found weird. A few days later I was told we always disinfect it between dogs.

4. Contradictory info: I saw one of the seasoned behavioural staff put a healthy dog in the quarantine yard, and then got in trouble for doing it because "we NEVER do that."

5. I keep getting asked to do tasks I have zero training on, and then get weird judgy looks when I ask how to do them.

6. Insanely unrealistic expectations: If we have no volunteers during a shift, it's up to the full time person (me) to do everything - the cats and dogs in quarantine, the cats and dogs in adoptions, laundry, dishes, meds, leashing dogs for walks, deep cleans, handling intakes and sorting donations, plus all the unexpected things that come up - in 6.5 hours. This is truly impossible.

7. Another seasoned "really solid" staff member left a dog outside in 25 degree heat with no water or shade for more than 2 hours.

8. One of the behaviour staff walked into a quarantined puppy's kennel with no PPE on.

There's more but you get the idea, and I haven't worked there for two weeks yet. Should I run?

I just left him and I'm quite literally alone. Thanks.

Would anyone be so kind as to share how She has transformed their lives when all hope seemed lost?

I am at the end of my strength and I have felt her call and she's dragged me under, facing the hideous and terrifying truths I was brainwashed by years of abuse into believing were delusional lies that I was to blame for, if they were real at all.

Would anyone be so kind as to share how She has transformed their lives when all hope seemed lost?

I am at the end of my strength and I have felt her call and she's dragged me under, facing the hideous and terrifying truths I was brainwashed by years of abuse into believing were delusional lies that I was to blame for, if they were real at all.

I'm LONG overdue for a career change. I want to go back to school but I don't know what for. My dream job would be a fiction writer and I've been told I'd be good at it. I'm creative and can write well, but I think it would be smart to have a "day job" for financial reasons.

This is the spread I did, and the cards I pulled. It looks pretty bleak from what I can see, but I'm new to this and hope I'm wrong lol.

Cards 1, 2 and 3: What I should be doing next as a career - Wheel of Fortune, High Priestess, The World

Card four: How this career looks day to day - Eight of Swords

Card five: How I can take steps towards making this a reality - Ten of swords

Card six: Something I need to let go of to move forward - Page of Swords

Card seven: A way that my life will change when moving towards this career - Eight of Cups reversed

Card eight: A message from spirit - Knight of Cups reversed

I'm LONG overdue for a career change. I want to go back to school but I don't know what for. My dream job would be a fiction writer and I've been told I'd be good at it. I'm creative and can write well, but I think it would be smart to have a "day job" for financial reasons.

This is the spread I did, and the cards I pulled.

Cards 1, 2 and 3: What I should be doing next as a career - Wheel of Fortune, High Priestess, The World

Card four: How this career looks day to day - Eight of Swords

Card five: How I can take steps towards making this a reality - Ten of swords

Card six: Something I need to let go of to move forward - Page of Swords

Card seven: A way that my life will change when moving towards this career - Eight of Cups reversed

Card eight: A message from spirit - Knight of Cups reversed

It looks pretty horrible lol.

First time buying a car and I know nothing lol.

TL;DR: Abusive husband destroyed me and I have nothing to give him but he wants me to stay.

I (44f) am in the process of leaving my abusive husband (45m). Together for 4 years, married for 1.5. The things he’s said and done are unreal and beyond the pale. Still, I tried everything: being super loving, being a good communicator, suggesting therapy (always timidly, and he always vetoed it), doing everything he wanted sexually and asking for nothing in return.

I’m very vulnerable because of a lifetime of abuse before I met him. It didn’t stop him from abusing me too, and the pain and frustration have gotten so bad I was starting to fear for my sanity before I finally decided I was done.

Now (shockingly) he wants to work it out. I told him no. He kept pushing. I told him no again. Then the tears. The promises. The begging. Rinse, repeat. Finally I had to tell him I’d think about it just to get some peace, but that I’m still moving out. I also said (on the advice of a divorce lawyer) that if he gives me a “parting gift” I won’t seek alimony, and he agreed.

What I don’t get is - why? I know abusers want to keep their victims around for their own selfish reasons, but what does he gain from this? I am so destroyed I can‘t cook or clean or work, and I haven’t had sex with him in over a month. He gave me the money, and it was a fair amount. Why doesn’t he cut his losses and find a new victim, one who can’t see through him like I can?

TL;DR: Abusive husband destroyed me and I have nothing to give him but he wants me to stay.

I (44f) am in the process of leaving my abusive husband (45m). Together for 4 years, married for 1.5. The things he’s said and done are unreal and beyond the pale. Still, I tried everything: being super loving, being a good communicator, suggesting therapy (always timidly, and he always vetoed it), doing everything he wanted sexually and asking for nothing in return.

I’m very vulnerable because of a lifetime of abuse before I met him. It didn’t stop him from abusing me too, and the pain and frustration have gotten so bad I was starting to fear for my sanity before I finally decided I was done.

Now (shockingly) he wants to work it out. I told him no. He kept pushing. I told him no again. Then the tears. The promises. The begging. Rinse, repeat. Finally I had to tell him I’d think about it just to get some peace, but that I’m still moving out. I also said (on the advice of a divorce lawyer) that if he gives me a “parting gift” I won’t seek alimony, and he agreed.

What I don’t get is - why? I know abusers want to keep their victims around for their own selfish reasons, but what does he gain from this? I am so destroyed I can‘t cook or clean or work, and I haven’t had sex with him in over a month. He gave me the money, and it was a fair amount. Why doesn’t he cut his losses and find a new victim, one who can’t see through him like I can?