u/indefinitevalue

i’ve been on countless road trips with other people, but have never gone by myself. this will be about a 7-8 hour drive when considering stops for gas and food.

i know to bring my own snacks and drinks and such. i’m more-so worried about passing the time, staying safe as a younger woman and making it there by myself.

any and all advice or input is welcome! thank you all in advance.

EDIT: i am located in the northeastern US

might be a longer post, but that basically sums it up. i’ve ridden western (mostly gymkhana) for over a decade and have an upcoming interview at a barn that focuses on cross-country and showjumping.

the owner and employees i’ve spoken to are aware of my lack of experience when it comes to english disciplines. they aren’t looking for an already-developed skillset in that area, but someone that “fits” in the atmosphere + environment, is capable of learning + progressing with them instead.

all of that being said, i have some questions that could potentially help me be more prepared for this upcoming interview. if anyone can provide some insight and answer any of these for me, i would appreciate it greatly!

- if you’ve ever been a working student at an english barn, what did your initial interview consist of?

- if you were the barn owner considering hiring me based purely off of my potential, what qualities would you look for in an interview?

- which horsemanship skills or riding abilities transfer well from western disciplines to english discipline should i focus on demonstrating?

- is there anything about my gymkhana/western background that i could “highlight” to show that i’d make a good student?

- is there any terminology i should brush up on before attending the interview, or something i should be practicing in the mean time?

- if you were interviewing me, what would make you think “yes, i can teach this person”?

- for those who have been a working student, what are some green or red flags i should be looking for?

if you have any answers to these questions and have the time to comment, i would be so thankful. i’m super nervous but hopeful! other advice is welcome too, even if it doesn’t specifically pertain to the questions.

i will also provide any information needed to provide a clearer picture, too. if you need to ask ME questions, feel free! thank you all!

edit: OH! what kind of gear changes do i need to make before showing up so i don’t embarrass myself? i’ve ordered breeches, field boots, nice looking athletic shirts, a certified helmet, a proper belt, riding gloves and such.

so, i went through over a decade of treatment to lose BPD as my primary diagnosis, and was successful as of 3-4 months ago! i managed to “lose” and be able to control so many of the symptoms that i no longer met the diagnostic criteria. yippee! awesome, right?

now? i guess my brain has decided that we have another favorite person (somebody i absolutely cannot have of course) and it feels like it’s all coming back in waves. i feel myself losing a little more control over my emotions again each and every day. none of my meds and nothing i’ve learned in therapy is grounding me like it did even just a few weeks ago.

i hate that we attach to people this way. i hate that one person’s simple existence infatuating our mind is all it takes for things to fall back apart, yet i can’t make myself lose them. i don’t want to lose them. them being in my life makes me so incredibly happy and euphoric. having a favorite person feels like a drug to me – both the highs and the lows that stem from it.

i legitimately don’t know if i have it in me to overcome this disorder a second time.

i do not want to live through this emotional torment again every day. i feel helpless.

this disorder is a living fcking hell and i would never wish it on anybody.