u/iyowa-fan-cosmo

I 14F had to call 911 on my parents a while ago because they basically tried to kill each other, my dad hit my mom and she tried to strangle him. The police came, and this helped my mom finally try to get a divorce with him.

I might delete this later because they both have apologized, are divorced now, and are on good terms, for the most part. They told me not to really talk about it much with anyone besides family, so this post is a one way ticket to getting my ass beat if they find out. My mom has reddit.

After this, even though they’re divorced, we proceed to be a family, my dad visits often.

I have weird feelings towards relationships, i’ve been in situations that lead me to thinking relationships cant be healthy, it causes me to hide and cry sometimes. I don’t think people in relationships are capable of loving anyone besides their partner sometimes probably because I’m constantly being ignored. My parents don’t think anything i do is amusing and i have to hear them in their room sometimes.

I remember being in my room covering my little sisters ear’s when i was younger and its a horrible memory, yet i cant be bothered now.

I’ve noticed that their arguments amuse me. Couples being broken up with in general do, and i hate it because i feel like one rude motherfucker to be around. I post this in r/mentalhealth but i feel like its not even related to mental health at all and im just a bitch.

i dont want the police to show up at my door because i texted a hotline

i dont wanna ask a friend because they always dont understand

and i dont even wanna ask reddit because all i get told here is "you're 14, wait a bit."

i want to die before im 18. i need help. i NEED help. r/SuicideWatch isnt really a good subreddit. i dont know what to do.

i have been rejected therapy until i try to "include myself" and prove to my parents i can get out of bed and eat healthy.

i need someone to actually respond, i need someone to understand. i dont need to be told that im just a kid and i dont need to be told that "it may feel like-" NO. i need a way out. desperately. im done waiting.

its getting to a point where i wont exist to be told that im a kid over and over, so please think wisely when saying that.

II’ve heard about July being “disability pride month”, and for some reason so many people on facebook were upset, i know this isn’t facebook and I don’t necessarily understand the need for a month dedicated to stuff like this sometimes, but i DO understand that the more we hate others because they’re different, the more we hate on God’s creativity. That doesn’t just go for disabled people!

I would be lying if i said i was the best at not judging, i think i needed this as a reminder too.

A small reminder that God made the neurodivergent, the neurotypical, the dark skinned, the light skinned, the basic and the complex. You and me. And to say that its wrong, is disrespect to God’s creativity.

You are human, no matter your struggles, disability, skin color, sexuality or personality. And the fact you’re human means that you matter to God just as much as everyone else.

I have AuDHD, OCD, SPD among some other things and from a disabled person to another, you are not a mistake. No matter what anyone says.

God is good!

I see so many people say our “brains aren’t developed” enough.. and it pisses me off.

Oh yeah? If your brain is more developed then don’t drink, don’t do drugs, don’t get pregnant, don’t fucking be stupid. Your brain is developed so you should be good at everything. If adults have the right-away just because they’re adults then we should implement lethal punishments more often and not be so kind when they make mistakes or struggle, after all, you should be doing better. Your brain is developed completely.

Actually do better in life then. Get married. Be happy. Do better. Oh you cant? Then why do you say shit about teenagers ALSO STRUGGLING. Guess adults cant have depression or mental health issues, cuz developed brains! Lol

If teenagers having mental health issues is annoying then its even more annoying when a grown ass adult with a “developed brain” struggles when they should be doing better.

“You’re a kid, everyone goes through that.” Are they close to putting themselves in coffins at 14 too?

I fucking hate adults

Hello, im cosmo

I am autistic, i feel really lonely and i’ve wanted to try yumeshipping as a comforter, nothing too serious this is not against people who do take it seriously, its just that this loneliness i experience causes me to basically have depressive episodes, i think maybe this could help.

I genuinely cannot decide on an f/o as i dont really get attracted to characters, and im a straight female… i thought about miku since theres no age (im 14, but really afraid of age gaps), but im also straight and christian and i feel a bit weird about it, which is just my own discernment… how do you do this?! 😭

Relationships are jokes, you cant have a healthy relationship. Its always about your face. If you say otherwise, you’re lying. Im not going to get anywhere because im ugly, people are embarrassed to even be around me, but yeah. Your partner “changed your life”. Right. While i sit on the floor crying because i cant be anybody’s. It really is a joke, Whats wrong with doing it if nobody would care? Yeahhhh… love changed your life… by what? Giving you confidence that you’re sexy?

Its not ever going to be “love”. Its a pathetic lie.

What a waste.

I use reddit to get my thoughts out.

I dont want to hear “you’re 14! Things will get better!” Anymore
I dont wanna hear “you should be okay with being lonely” anymore
I dont wanna hear “because people love you” anymore. If they “loved me” they would show it, and actually, you know. Spend time with me. Im so fucking done.
Im an embarrassment, i serve no purpose, not even to God. I need one good reason to stay alive.

I use reddit to get my thoughts out and i’ve realized that im afraid to even exist, to even go out. Im nothing but a burden to other people, i do nothing but make everyone else mad. Im autistic so no matter how much i try to be funny, no matter how much i try i cant do it, i cant make friends and i will likely be lonely.i struggle with pOCD, i have adhd and i dont hardly do my schoolwork. Im a failure.

Wouldnt the world be better off without me

Dont bring up my age if you’re gonna write a comment, i dont wanna hear the “oh but you’re 14, things will get bette-“ NO. Im sick of hearing that every time i try to express my emotions.

Not all ragebait is like this but i’m referring specifically to calling someone corny for having a certain interest or something. Guess what?! You making someone want to kill themselves for liking what they want isnt ragebait buddy! Its bullying! please shut the fuck up and get a job

Oh, someone is upset because you made that “joke”… such a corny piece of shit right? I totally love bullying burps rubs my big fat belly i love bullying autistic chuds off the internet cuz they like dandy’s world and i don’t (satire)

Look at you getting all pissed off and writing an essay about how you’re right 😭 lmaooooo. Cuz being a depressed loser who hates people for no reason is totally right

Hello, i’m 14 years old.

I had a very deep conversation with my mother, about my issues socially, about being unable to make friends, and she said if i ever wanted to make lots of friends i would need to mask.

Please note that she is autistic too, and she told me this because she doesn’t have friends, she doesn’t want to be around fake people, doesn’t mask well.

I’m still a little pissed at how she said that even though its the truth, but another thing she tells me is that i need to “insert myself” more

I have been so upset, because i don’t know what people want from me at this point. I DO include myself. And you know what i get? Ignored. If i say “hey don’t ignore me” i’m annoying or corny.

I try to compliment people, i try to involve myself when i hear someone talking about something i’m interested in, i try to smile while talking but no matter what i do i cannot make friends.

I went to a church camp recently and we did an obstacle course, one of which where we needed a partner. I asked multiple people if they would be mine, and they said “yes!” But then two seconds later would find another partner. (don’t say anything about it. My faith in God is not something you need to be commenting on right now. I don’t wanna hear the “church camp sucks” thing) this was a church camp i had gone to for years, and was only around 20-30 people.

I’m homeschooled which doesn’t make this better. But i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, literally how, do they just sense my autism or something? Is there just something different about me? I literally get treated this way online sometimes too.

I wish i wasn’t a mistake.

I dont know what flair to add but i, 14F have been struggling with pOCD, i think. Im not diagnosed.

I dont remember when it started popping up or why. But im terrified.

My brain keeps bringing up stuff from when i was 12-13, the pOCD i struggle with doesnt come specifically from what i did, but i keep remembering tiny things and its convinced me im actually a shitty person.

For instance i got one of those videos reading off reddit stories a year back, someone talking about how their parents were ageplaying and i felt curious about it, but i quickly pushed the feeling aside, never acted on it, looking back i feel horrible for showing curiosity in it and i wouldnt do that now. The thought of parents doing such a thing makes me sick, i feel like my brain wants me to be a perv and i feel horrible because of it

I have also use c.ai, and had a bot pretend to groom me, or a persona my age anyways. I feel horrible about that too, and pretty shortly into the roleplay i stopped because it felt gross and i didnt like it. This was also not something i had lots of knowledge of.

Besides that the only thing i can think of are dreams i have had, which i have almost instantly felt guilty about and i know they’re just dreams and its likely my brain trying to make me feel gross

Google says i should “give myself a break” because i didnt know what i was doing at that age, but im scared i actually did, i also feel like even though i dont like it now and feel grossed out by it, im still horrible when i never even fully “liked it” to begin with.

These things from a year or so ago are not anything i like or want now, i dont even think i truly did when any of those incidents happened. i know its from a year ago but if i really think about it i have changed a lot. I feel like secretly im lying, every time i look for reassurance it feels unclear or like im just making excuses. I want to die. I have thought about committing. I dont know what to do, im also scared that if i reach out for help i will be sent to jail or something, but honestly i feel as though i should be locked up anyways

Also i have made posts here before but i got harassed because of needing help, i will probably delete this if it happens again. I deleted my old account.

I am 14, female
Note: please do not dm me, i’m not pointing fingers or saying it because I’m mad I’m just not comfortable with that :)

Just came home from church camp today, it is also my birthday

My parents informed me that due to the pastors behavior we will not be going to the church we go to anymore and i am heartbroken. My pastor, and his wife have helped me through many things, and it really hurts. They said i can still go to youth and i can still go to camp, because it means a lot to me.

I want to stop going to morning church in general, nothing but youth and camp. I want to join online christian groups and i want to study the bible on my own. They want to switch to a church that has made billboards about charlie kirk and is prolife, which i have nothing against as i know nothing about this church, but i really dont wanna go. I have always preferred small churches, where i can make connections with others, this is the church i have gone to all my life and if i cant go to the sermons im not going to any. I get bored half of the time anyways, i want to study the bible on my own.

But i REFUSE to make my faith about politics. Most of my political opinions are based on my faith, but i dont wanna deal with a church that makes everything about democrats being bad, i know i dont know yet but i just feel weird about the billboard sign.

I am neither democrat or republican, neither of them truly care about americans.

“Oh but you cant ignore the truth!” I know that, im saying im not going to a church that runs off politics and im not letting my faith become that way either. I will love and support my neighbor no matter democrat, republican, straight, gay, trans, cis, single, dating, divorced a million times, african, white, asian you get the point. I wont affirm the sin, but im not gonna make it my entire personality to hate on said sin and make a ton of videos on why its bad either. I dont even understand why people think being gay is a sin, besides only liking someone because of their gender, aside from that i cannot understand from a genuinely caring and loving couple, two people who genuinely love each other and put God first. Why would God give you someone that changes your life, makes you faith stronger, but then send you to hell for it? At this point i just say hey, im not going to be gay myself and i advise against it but i do not hate you if you are.
I have come to the conclusion that support is also part of loving your neighbor, i cannot stress it enough. I support lgbtq rights 100%, no one should be inequal or not have the same amount of rights.

Sorry i went off track, but i just dont know what to do.

My parents just got a divorce, im struggling. I have wanted to commit suicide before i turn 18, not now but sometime. I feel guilty for even enjoying church camp because my parents dont like the people there, i dont know how to handle it, and i dont know how to handle wanting to not go to church when i feel so guilty.

It felt like things got so much better, i feel like a hypocrite. The entire theme of the church camp was giving your fear to God, i helped plan and i helped come up with the theme, but i dont feel like i can do that right now.