I make guys play dispatch before I date them.
I have a weird question I ask guys before I date them, and I’ve realized it tells me way more about their personality than you’d think.
For example before I start this is another question I ask, because for me I have a theory that it tells a lot about a person:
The first question is whether they like cats or dogs more.
To me, people who prefer dogs usually value warmth that’s immediate and easy. Dogs love everyone. They’ll happily run up to strangers, they’re affectionate by default, and they don’t ask much from you emotionally before giving you everything.
Cats are different. You have to earn their trust. They’re selective. They’re not cold forever, but when a cat chooses you, it actually means something. The relationship develops over time instead of being handed to you immediately.
Obviously this isn’t a scientific personality test, but I’ve noticed it lines up surprisingly often.
The second question is the one that actually matters to me:
Who do you like more from Dispatch? Blonde Blazer or Invisigal?
(I would like to preface I do NOT dislike either character, but for my personality this matters)
This one genuinely changes how I see someone.
If someone says Blonde Blazer, it’s not an automatic dealbreaker. But it definitely makes me pause.
To me, Blonde Blazer is the obvious choice. She’s pretty, kind, put together, emotionally stable, and immediately likable. Most people would naturally choose her.
But I’ve always connected with Invisigal.
She’s impulsive. She screws up. She lies. She pushes people away. She can be rude before she lets people in. She has a messy past and a lot of baggage. She’s incredibly flawed.
But that’s exactly why I think she’s the more interesting character.
She actually has somewhere to grow.
Her relationship isn’t compelling because she’s already perfect. It’s compelling because someone has the patience to see past all the defenses and mistakes, and the two of them grow together. Watching someone become a better person because they’re finally loved in a healthy way is infinitely more meaningful to me than watching someone who’s already “perfect” stay perfect.
Maybe this is personal because, honestly, I relate to Invisigal a lot.
I’ve made a ridiculous amount of mistakes in my life. I’ve been impulsive, self-destructive, and difficult. I grew up in a bad environment and I’ll be honest I was lowk a criminal for a lot of my early/teen years. I’m not the kind of person who’s effortlessly easy to love. I’m also pretty guarded when I first meet people, especially men. A lot of people think I’m rude at first, but once I actually trust someone, I’m completely different.
So when someone says they can’t stand Invisigal because she’s “just a liar,” “too much drama,” or “a bitch,” I can’t help but wonder if they’d see me the same way.
Would they write someone off because they’re messy?
Or would they recognize that people can have awful coping mechanisms, terrible backgrounds, and still become genuinely good people?
That’s what I’m actually trying to figure out.
I don’t need someone who’s looking for perfection. I want someone who’s capable of seeing value in imperfect people.
I know some people are going to think I’m reading way too much into a fictional character preference, and honestly… maybe I am.
But I’ve found that the characters people empathize with often reveal what kinds of people they have patience for in real life.
If your favorite character is the one who’s already polished, that’s fine.
I just think I’d probably connect better with the person who looked at the absolute trainwreck and thought, “Yeah, I still see something worth loving.”
That’s the kind of person I want.
By the way I do have to say so far this method has worked 2/2 times. Just sayinnnn