These cotton dolls are super popular in China and my cousin said it was quite cheap to commission a custom on. She got me a tiny Roboute after listening to me yap - - - he’s so little, I want to bite him.
Ironically it’s how I spent my first Eid al-Adha too, back when I reverted to Islam. And I remember battling back tears as I prayed because the sight of everyone there with their mothers, sisters, grandmothers, etc. made me feel so lonely.
I married a wonderful man with a wonderful family that accepted me with open arms, but now we are separating because he confessed last night he cannot stay monogamous and had already found someone willing to be a co-wife. In our Nikah, this is my only stipulation.
We’d gone through this late last year already, but we chose to try and work through it and for a little while we were like a happy family again. And I tried, Wallahi I tried not to be suspicious and jealous and it’s killing me. I know it isn’t literally killing me but it feels like it is.
But concurrent with the pain of being alone in this house is this immense sorrow I feel. Mashallah it happened right before Eid and I feel so painfully alone.
I do have my own family. They’re catholic, they’re supportive as they can be. But the comfort from them pains me, I know they’re already hesitant about Islam, they feel it’s backwards and repressive. Every bit of comfort from them comes with their subconscious bias and Astagfirullah I don’t have the strength to do anything but cry, even though their criticisms hurt me. I can’t stand it. That I’m losing the love of my life and now I have to endure harsh words about the only thing that is keeping me from crumbling into total despair.
It shouldn’t be this awful. We were only married for 1.5 years though we’ve been together for 5. We were law school sweethearts. Everything felt so easy with him until he suddenly dropped on me that he isn’t sure he could stay monogamous, just shy of our 1 year anniversary.
Understandably things went to shit lol. We still had good moments. But that stayed in the back of my head, and made it hard to really … connect? Especially since he’d met someone that made him “realize” it.
But we tried. He cut it off before it progressed to anything physical. God and we just played at being a happy family awhile longer. We went camping last weekend. It was beautiful.
But today I opened up about how I’ve been seeking therapy because of how depressed I’d been lately. And after making an off handed comment about how I’m worried I’m holding him back, he drops that he’s still wanting a nonmonogamous relationship and—well. Now he’s taken all his shit back to his parents house lol. But I’m at my parents house because I cannot fucking stomach the thought of going back to our house. We planted that garden, painted those walls, ripped up the carpet and refinished the floors. It was supposed to be where we grew old together.
I aguess technically the house is held in trust only for me lol. We have no kids. No commingled accounts. Nothing except the fact that my heart is fucking breaking and I had always hoped I’d greet a moment like this with more ferocity. But instead I’m eating slop and sobbing my fucking eyes out. I know what I have to do but I feel like I’m drowning.
Sorry for how rambling this is.
EDIT: it’s frozen cooked shrimp that I thawed out in boiling water. I squirted honey into the hot water and peppered it. Idk, I hoped a bit of kitchen alchemy would cheer me up. No I never fed him anything like this. It tasted. Alright.
I’m 28, he’s 27. We’ve been together for five years and married for 1.5 of them - things are new. Just a few days ago we were camping. I kept thinking how much I loved him.
But we’ve had this persistent issue of him wanting a second wife lol. The one line I had drawn in the sand. The one thing.
I’m not even angry yet. I am just so profoundly sad. In my parents house unable to stomach the thought of coming home. OUR home, the home we painted. The bed we shared. Everything reminds me of him.
I don’t know man. I’m actually just going insane. My bestie just got married too. She’s moving to Chicago. I’m really going to be alone now huh.
Logically I know it’s the best way forward. We aren’t compatible. He wants a second wife…I don’t. And the best he can assure me is that “idek if I’d be able to find one.”
I know I deserve better than to be his backup. But holy fuck. I’m dying. I’m literally dying. I feel my chest cramping. He just took his stuff and went back to his parents.
We were together for five years, married for one. No marital property. No children. I want to cry so badly. Jk im already crying.
I love him and miss him and I know this has to be done because. Because.
God idk. I’m rambling. I’m in shambles. I’m not ok. I keep hoping I’ll wake up and this will all be over and we’ll be back to where we were. Please.
HIIII so I just won an auction for a secondhand Granado Titan recently, and I also ordered the Nico sculpt from Legenddoll — ighghdjsgjs im SO EXCITED im gonna turn them into Roboute Guilliman from Warhammer 40k!!!
I just wanted to see if anyone had this particular bjd body or sculpt, what do they do for clothes and shoes, and any owner pics in general. Ty!!!!!
Sculpt and body is from Granado’s “Titan” line - the sculpt is Nico!!
Y’ALL WHEN I SAY THIS SCULPT IS PERFECT FOR WHAT I IMAGINE!!!! AAAAA and he’s kind of big, so until I clear up space in my collection, this may be my last doll purchase for a while.
I’m an avid doll customizer and casual collector - it’s honestly my love language for characters I like. Ahh, why not make them real?
Eeheheheh it’s about to be a two month wait but I’m so excited.
Though honestly I’ll accept any recs, I’m dying for smaller recommendations because I’m a bit limited in space. I know of Uliana’s gladiator series but I was hoping to find a smaller but still ultra muscular bjd.
Ahh thanks in advance!
Everyone is getting tired of me, no one moreso than myself. But lately I’ve just been feeling worse and worse. Life keeps pummeling me with lemons lmao.
Is it really just going to be a lifetime of having to cope? I mean other than killing myself, I suppose there’s really no other way about it. But I’m genuinely tired of the constant roller coaster of emotions, I’m tired of the constant anxiety and paranoia, I’m tired of being tired. Tired of having to sit through every thought wondering which ones are justified and which ones are just my brain acting up again.
Last night I had a realization that the last time I was truly and fully happy was five years ago. everything else after that has just been “I’m suffering less.” The absence of pain isn’t happiness.
Holy fuck I can’t do anything. These last few months are wringing me dry. Watching all my loved ones take off and grow and I want to be happy for them but I’m stuck, I feel like I’m drowning in a puddle somehow.
My career is suffering. My relationships are suffering. Everything feels so heavy and I’ve lost the ability to cry.
Sorry everyone for the complaining.
My love language is making/customizing dolls!! Hhhhhh <333333 I’ve been struggling with finding a BJD that has the same ultra muscular/dense body type AND a head, and then I came upon this one.
It’s going to take some saving, and I hope against all hopes that they restock the head sculpt - but I’m soooooo excited.
This is a BIG mfer too —!! 80cm tall!!!!!
Such a silly yap but aaaaaaa
EDIT: I’m super obsessed with BJDs. If you want help looking for a BJD for ur F/O just hmu!!!! Across all sizes, from pocket sized to ULTRA HUGE, and across all budgets, I’d love to help. I think having a custom doll is just a nice way to make them more “real.”
STARTING OFF ALREADY LATE HAHAaaaa —- my Yumesona kissing a statue of Roboute because my sad ass loves to write pining/angst.
Can’t kiss the real deal? Kiss his statue instead :3
Starting off YuMay late af again, lol
Why does this keep happening to me LMAO?
I triple checked. I had the confirmation. I already left a previous therapist for doing it to me twice. I sat in the waiting room for two hours like a fucking moron.