u/lovetokvetch

Yesterday, I got my ancestry.com results back. I had braced myself for so many things, but not this. I opened it up and she was just there, perfect 50% match. I found her name and looked her up on Facebook, she's dead. Everyone named in her obituary is dead as are many of the people who commented on the page. Her Facebook is public but her friends list is private:,) her husband is dead, he remarried but who knows how she felt about his ex wife. She was in the donor sibling registry group on Facebook, wanted to be found. Kinda devastating

Anyway, her and most of her relatives have died quite young and I have a ton of unknown medical problems so that doesnt bode super well for me and I'd kinda like to know what's up there. Im from the US, she stayed living in my state and my state allows children to access medical records if the spouse has passed. Is there like any way I can possibly have access to any records at all? Even a death certificate to know how she died? I obviously have no documentation except a literal dna test and know that isnt a legal document. The 3 people able to access records are spouse, child, parent. All 3 are dead or dont exist (except for me). Am I just screwed and that information is lost forever? This sucks lmao

I am an abuse survivor myself and gain a lot of self understanding through memoirs. I was abused in quite an unusual way, by which I mean primarily weird psychological abuse, unclear totalitarian rules, and scapegoating, bonus points for homeschooling

I have read all the obvious ones (Educated, Glass Castle, child called it, etc) and many more that aren't famous, so looking for some real deep cuts please!

I was NOT enmeshed, very much the opposite, so not looking for books about that, but was also very very helicoptered so not complete neglect either. I had no freedom. Thank you all!

Hiya, very specific situation, but I am an adult survivor of child abuse, and for personal reasons (not legal), I would really like to access my Goodreads account from when I was a teenager. It is unfortunately set to private, and it has nearly 100 book reviews. I have extreme memory loss and would really like to see what books I was reading and what I thought of them.

I have not accessed the account in well over a decade. It still exists, and I even know the email, username, and password. But because it has been so long, they want me to reset my password through a link to my email. I don't have access to that email anymore (because my evil parents locked me out of it - yes I have tried absolutely everything to recover it). I have no old devices, and I would not have had amazon or apple accounts at the time.

I have emailed customer service multiple times trying to get them to let me verify my information some other way, but I have only gotten robot responses. Has anyone been able to fix this situation? It breaks my heart that my account is still there with all of that emotional information on it but I can't see it 😞 I would be so happy with just an export of the book/review data

My therapist said something i mentioned happening to me sounded like torture, and I had had thoughts to relating to the word before, but it always sounded so dramatic. But I came across ICT and was both shocked and validated by it - the proposition for it to be considered a legally distinct type of extreme child abuse was very eye opening for me. Ive never quite related to memoirs or others stories I've read because there was never an apology, and everyone in my family participated.. reading/listening to peoples experiences has really resonated with me and jogged memories.

It was so weird and so validating for it to be described and categorized as an extreme form of child abuse that needs immediate intervention

I think most of our parents and the communities we were in would have whole heartedly embraced it and scoffed at it being called abuse at all. Clearly anti homeschool/religion propaganda 🥲🥲🥲 Im putting the definition in the next paragraph

TRIGGER WARNING FOR YOU MIGHT REALIZE YOU WERE TORTURED WHOOPS

Intrafamilial child torture (ICT) is systematic and deliberate child maltreatment, occurring within a child’s family or household, where the child is physically and/or psychologically captive and not free to leave. The components of torture may include intentional physical abuse, deliberate neglect, planned sexual abuse, or methodical psychological abuse to purposefully direct, shape, and control a child’s psychological and moral development and sense of identity and autonomy, to produce in the child subservient beliefs and behaviors in service to the psychopathological needs of the perpetrator(s). While ICT can last any period of time, it often occurs over a protracted period of time in a child victim’s life.

Im linking the proposition for it to be a legally distinct type of child abuse, which has an outline of what it is, what it looks like, and what to do about it.

Edit: so many typos/formatting issues apologies

Edit: FOR CLARITY, I am not looking for thie for court purposes. I am looking for this for my own personal use to fill in huge gaps in my memory

Hello all! I am trying to recover my entire harddrives from 3 old laptops - 2 hdd and 1 sdd (and a windows surface if anyone has any idea how to get inside lol). I really want to save as much of this data as possible bc I want whatever fragments of me talking to people might be left, especially messages or passwords because im locked out of my gmail accounts at my parents doing, which will be deep in data somewhere. I ran several programs natively that I would message people on. Would love to recover any deleted files thar might exist if anyone knows computer forensics!!! They've been handled roughly bc ive moved a few times internationally and didnt think about how fragile they were, so I really want to get this right because I know sometimes you only have one chance to power it up. I have a few questions - offering any advice about any or all of them is very very welcome please!! Thank you so much for your time 🙏🙏🙏 They will all be running various versions of Windows

1. Can I back up an entire hdd onto my computer/a harddrive? Wirh it just being all in a folder copied with robocopy would I one day maybe be able to boot up as a clone? Or do I need a fancy computer running harddive and cloning software? I have been looking at stuff much more advanced than my knowledge. What do you think is the best way ro go about this? Im hoping there are messages back in app data specifically but also dont knownwhat I don't know and what orher secrets couls be hiding in there. Any help would be appreciated!! Would love to recover deleted files if possible?? Looking for as much data as possible basically but know nothing about this beyond beying generally "good at computers" 😂

2. Best way to boot up 2.5 hdd? I have 2 of them, looking for exact brands hopefully that people had good experience with. From whar I understand, ssd seems plug and go and like I dont have to stress about it probably being fine?

3. What is the safest way to cool it down/eject so i hopefully dont ruin the harddrive? Seen so many stories of this happeninf and would love to have a functional original so I have it if anything happens to be missing.

4. Does anyone know how to recover deleted files? A point to an easy starter to computer forensics or something woukd be helpful or just some tips. This is truly out of my depth

Thank you so much yall!! I hope not a repetitive question, ive been googling for a lot of hours and everything assumes a base level of knowledge I dont have 😅 im autistic so struggle sometimes with random stuff like this and very much appreciate anyone's help!!

Tl;dr: I have 2 2.5 hdds and an sdd, all running various versions of windows. What is the best and safest way to go about extracting as much data as possible from these?

Hey all! I have no qualifications to be doing this (so pls hit me up if you want to help lol), but I would love to start a homeschool zine where we can just all submit whatever we want, anonymously (unless you want to be named)

Examples of contributions I've thought of are: personal stories you desperately want to get into the world but cant bc you still have contact with your family (me, lol); poetry; art; collages; excerpts from your diary when you were a kid; rants; letters to your parents you'll never send; testimonials if you're a current homeschool student; whatever feels healing!!

I think this would be so cool and would love to start this - would you contribute?

And does anyone have experience w creating zines/graphic design/organizational skills/generally could help w the logistics and has time to? I am disabled w an energy limiting condition so if I did it on my own, it would take about 8,000 years lol. Any help would be very appreciated! Please lmk if youre interested in this becoming a thing