u/mp3player5

i have two ideas for themes that i really want for my debian XFCE desktop, with one of them being based off of the muse radio portion of muse dash (uses neons, based off of vaporwave while also being kawaii and fun) and i really want something like that for my computer ::3 i also had ideas for an aero rainbow theme. i'm an artist and coding jumbles my brain (despite taking 3 coding classes in HS) so if anyone wants to make a theme with me or trade in exchange for my artwork, let me know! i think we can make something awesome ::3

i very recently discovered that i have hypermobile ehler's danlos syndrome, but i am not professionally diagnosed. my mom also has it. i thought it was normal to have super flexible joints, and to have translucent, and stretchy skin, for my entire life.

it wasn't until my dad's girlfriend started living with us that i realised i had it, as she is professionally diagnosed with hEDS. and it also made me realise that it's not normal to have constant joint pain every single hour of every single day, only to be relieved when i take a shower.

i'm an artist. art is my true passion in life and i don't know what i would do if i never got to make art again. but, i have a quandary. the more i draw, and the more i work, the worse my back and fingers hurt. i've already had experience with back pain, as i had a breast reduction in 2024, going from an I-cup to a C-cup. so, i still have after-effects of that, along with the pain from my EDS.

but, i can't stop hurting every single day, and it's gotten to the point where drawing, typing, playing games, or anything, causes excruciating amounts of pain. my finger joints even hurt as i type this on my laptop. i've kind of lost hope in making art, and i've had to resort to asking my friends to draw out my ideas for me, which makes me feel extremely bad because i don't like asking for things, ever. it makes me feel like i'm being manipulative.

i had so much passion for art and creating, but since everything hurts, i feel hopeless. and getting mobility aids is gonna be terrible... my dad is veeeery cheap, and getting disability again is gonna be hard.

i'm autistic, and i was on disability until i graduated from high school last year in 2025. we've been trying to reapply over and over, but we keep getting rejected. "we" as in my dad and i, as he holds power of attorney over me, due to the aforementioned autism. but, i am in arkansas and i have no idea where i can go to get a diagnosis for EDS, as i think getting a diagnosis for that could get me back on disability, as it is a physical disability that needs physical aids.

i had a shower chair when i was recovering from my breast reduction, as i was prone to fainting in the shower during that time period, but after i recovered fully, my dad donated it to goodwill, and i didn't realise until now that i felt really good using that shower chair.

i kinda don't have faith in aids at all if bad things keep happening like this.