u/muffinwobble

i just started listening to tv girl and i am definitely obsessed. what are your favorite songs? i have only been listening to the well known ones, like blue hair, cigarettes out the window etc.

basically my younger brother has this science book about the human body, and in the glossary it defines the word “calorie” as a “unit of energy.” just that. nothing more. it made me suddenly realize like how simple it is, there’s nothing behind it. no twisted double meaning, nothing bad or scary.

everybody: a calorie is purely a unit of energy. not a definition of your worth as a human!!

i feel like a crazy person but this is making me so happy.

i have a younger brother, im not going to reveal his age, but he’s too young to understand the idea of water weight and bloating, but old enough to know that being fat is “undesirable” and he should lose weight to be more good-looking. he’s at a healthy weight for his height, a little chubby, but that makes him look strong. he’s got lots of muscles on his arms and legs because he likes to curl dumbbells sometimes.

this is seriously messing with me. i had (and kinda still have) ana, so i get so so so triggered whenever i hear him saying “oh my gosh mom, im so fat” or “i gained weight after just one meal!! what’s wrong with me?!”

ive spent so long trying to heal my relationship with food and this is making me sick to my stomach. today he refused to eat a bowl of grapes because “he had already eaten too much.” are you kidding me? on top of all that, im worried that my brother is developing an ed, or at the very least disordered eating.

before i got sick, he’d never worried about how he looked or how much he ate. but now he constantly plays with his belly rolls, cries about how fat he is, or weighs himself. the thing is though, he still eats normally. he’s a growing boy, and he eats tons. way more than i do, and im recovering. food makes him happy and helps him grow, but im scared that in a matter of months that’ll completely change and he’ll go down the same rabbit hole as me.

if anyone has any advice please help me. i can only say “you’re not fat” so many times. i know it’s making no impression on him whatsoever.

i hope this is the right sub to post to. here it is: i don’t want to do anything. i don’t want to work, read, sleep, i don’t even want to be around my family or see friends. for the past few weeks i’ve been working really hard because next school year for me is going to be tough and i want to be prepared.

at first i was feeling good, super productive and bursting with this ready-to-work energy. and now after about 4 weeks, every time i log onto my computer to do work, i just start crying. every time i take breaks, even if it’s only for a short time, i feel unbelievably guilty. sometimes i study for so long that i forget to drink water or go to the bathroom.

i’ve always been an overachiever/perfectionist but everyone told me that’s a good thing. i literally feel so exhausted after studying or working and now i cant even go an hour before i feel like i need to lay down.

im trying to be productive but what im doing is obviously counterproductive. i’ve been told that i need to take breaks, but i feel so guilty and i feel like physically can’t. i don’t want to be burnt out before the school year even begins. any advice is appreciated. thank you.

usually i would be spiraling and upset but after half a year of recovery attempt #2…i finally gained >!6!< pounds!! this is a huge deal for me because it’s been really hard and frustrating. what would usually happen is i gain >! 1-2 pounds!<, freak out, then go back to restricting for a few days and lose them.

im so happy that consistently not giving into the voice that tells me to lose those pounds is actually paying off. like im not just feeling like 💩 for nothing. im actually getting my life back, and it’s worth the countless days of dragging my butt to the kitchen and convincing myself to eat a snack so i can get better.

i hope everyone can recover too. you are all so strong, you can do it!

lol, basically what the title says. my dad is a weird guy. like he’s a very mild almond dad (ex. being Chinese and saying he’s “allergic to white rice” so he can eat oatmeal instead, checking the nutrition labels and saying “HEY LOOK THIS HAS GOT ARTIFICAL SWEETENERS NO NO NO” , eating raw plain cucumbers as snacks etc.)

but he also wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to eat pastries and sticky date pudding lol. anyway, something he despises more than his organic raw cane sugar is STEVIA. i made pancakes with stevia this morning and he ate one and he said “does this have stevia in it? that stuff is really bad for you! use natural sweeteners.” and idk how to tell him that stevia IS a natural sweetener.

so i said “stevia is natural” and he won’t stop babbling how >!0, idk why they want me to put spoilers on this!< calorie sweeteners are sooo bad for you

that’s it. thats the post.

my shoulders are really broad and i know this has been discussed on here before but i hate how big it makes my upper half look. im trying to gain weight and it’s messing with me. i look like a linebacker im not even kidding. i’ve gained some fat on my arms and i look like frickin michael phelps aaaaaaa