u/neBular_cipHer

Ai iz doing a lie-down on daddee, as iz my rite. He iz warm and soff and gib me pets. But heer iz de pawblem, frens: Peanut want treatos. An Daddee iz no ‘lowed to getz up wif me lying on himz, so he kannut get treatos fur me, Peanut. Iz dere a treatos ex… exem… lupehol to da “ai sitz, hooman kannut getz up” rool? Pls halp, ai iz doin a big confooz.

I’m going to a concert this Friday at the Oakland Arena, and I’m planning to take the Bart (for the first time) bc I hate driving and I didn’t want to pay $40 for parking.

I just want to know how safe the Bart is these days. I saw questionable things on the news in the past like fare evaders and sketchy people, etc. so I’m just worry about any safety issues 😅 For reference, I’m planning to go from the Milpitas to Oakland Coliseum stations

Frens, dis iz Peanut, com too yoos wif tail ob woe. Dis storee iz NSFP (Nawt Sayfe Fur Puppos).

Frens, ai wuz doin a snoozle in da Big Sleepy Skwair when ai hurd daddee hooman make da wattur com on in da rain bocks. Ai iz smort doggo, so ai no wut dis meenz - da dredded BAFF!

Ai trai to do a big hyd but daddee do me a KIDNAP and den gibbed me a BAFF! Börthole violashuns too!

Frens and dis-thing-wished pawyers, do ai hab grounz for big soo? Wut shud be mai com-pin-say-shuns fur dis haw-riddle ordeel?

Yoo fren Peanut, wet an traw-maw-taized

My favorite food is pork belly 😋 but all the women I try to date don't eat it. They either vegetarian or on some special diet or they are Muslim?!? I just want someone that enjoys delighting in my favorite meal 😞