u/nm811

I do not have lactose intolerance, but I am not able to tolerate American dairy without stomach cramps and digestive problems. I can drink dairy in Canada without any problem. It makes me wonder if there is some milk in America I can tolerate, but I've not had any luck up till now.

I know in America they give cows antibiotics, growth hormones, feed them unnatural diets such as those with animal byproducts, etc. It seems like if the milk is USDA organic then these are no longer true. But even organic milk causes me problems. I do not have problems with A1 vs A2 either, I have tried A2 brand milk and had severe problems. I am able to tolerate Canadian milk which is not A2.

I have tried the following brands/products and have not had any luck:

• Alexandre yogurt
• Organic valley milk
• A2 milk
• Kalona kefir
• Family farmstead a2/a2 organic milk
• Larson farm and creamery a2/a2 organic yogurt
• Activia yogurt drink
• Cabot "lactose-free" cheese

I'm now gonna try driving to Connecticut to try Baldwin Brook Farm raw milk, but I will boil it myself in hopes of it being more natural/fresh. Does anyone have suggestions in the New England area, particularly for those who struggle to digest dairy in the US?

I do not have lactose intolerance, but I am not able to tolerate American dairy without stomach cramps and digestive problems. I can drink dairy in Canada without any problem. It makes me wonder if there is some milk in America I can tolerate, but I've not had any luck up till now.

I know in America they give cows antibiotics, growth hormones, feed them unnatural diets such as those with animal byproducts, etc. It seems like if the milk is USDA organic then these are no longer true. But even organic milk causes me problems. I do not have problems with A1 vs A2 either, I have tried A2 brand milk and had severe problems. I am able to tolerate Canadian milk which is not A2.

I have tried the following brands/products and have not had any luck:

• Alexandre yogurt
• Organic valley milk
• A2 milk
• Kalona kefir
• Family farmstead a2/a2 organic milk
• Larson farm and creamery a2/a2 organic yogurt
• Activia yogurt drink
• Cabot "lactose-free" cheese

I'm now gonna try driving to Connecticut to try Baldwin Brook Farm raw milk, but I will boil it myself in hopes of it being more natural/fresh. Does anyone have suggestions in the New England area, particularly for those who struggle to digest dairy in the US?

I do not have lactose intolerance, but I am not able to tolerate American dairy without stomach cramps and digestive problems. I can drink dairy in Canada without any problem. It makes me wonder if there is some milk in America I can tolerate, but I've not had any luck up till now.

I know in America they give cows antibiotics, growth hormones, feed them unnatural diets such as those with animal byproducts, etc. It seems like if the milk is USDA organic then these are no longer true. But even organic milk causes me problems. I do not have problems with A1 vs A2 either, I have tried A2 brand milk and had severe problems. I am able to tolerate Canadian milk which is not A2.

I have tried the following brands/products and have not had any luck:

• Alexandre yogurt
• Organic valley milk
• A2 milk
• Kalona kefir
• Family farmstead a2/a2 organic milk
• Larson farm and creamery a2/a2 organic yogurt
• Activia yogurt drink
• Cabot "lactose-free" cheese

I'm now gonna try driving to Connecticut to try Baldwin Brook Farm raw milk, but I will boil it myself in hopes of it being more natural/fresh. Does anyone have suggestions in the New England area, particularly for those who struggle to digest dairy in the US?

I do not have lactose intolerance, but I am not able to tolerate American dairy without stomach cramps and digestive problems. I can drink dairy in Canada without any problem. It makes me wonder if there is some milk in America I can tolerate, but I've not had any luck up till now.

I know in America they give cows antibiotics, growth hormones, feed them unnatural diets such as those with animal byproducts, etc. It seems like if the milk is USDA organic then these are no longer true. But even organic milk causes me problems. I do not have problems with A1 vs A2 either, I have tried A2 brand milk and had severe problems. I am able to tolerate Canadian milk which is not A2.

I have tried the following brands/products and have not had any luck:

• Alexandre yogurt
• Organic valley milk
• A2 milk
• Kalona kefir
• Family farmstead a2/a2 organic milk
• Larson farm and creamery a2/a2 organic yogurt
• Activia yogurt drink
• Cabot "lactose-free" cheese

I'm now gonna try driving to Connecticut to try Baldwin Brook Farm raw milk, but I will boil it myself in hopes of it being more natural/fresh. Does anyone have suggestions in the New England area, particularly for those who struggle to digest dairy in the US?

I do not have lactose intolerance, but I am not able to tolerate American dairy without stomach cramps and digestive problems. I can drink dairy in Canada without any problem. It makes me wonder if there is some milk in America I can tolerate, but I've not had any luck up till now.

I know in America they give cows antibiotics, growth hormones, feed them unnatural diets such as those with animal byproducts, etc. It seems like if the milk is USDA organic then these are no longer true. But even organic milk causes me problems. I do not have problems with A1 vs A2 either, I have tried A2 brand milk and had severe problems. I am able to tolerate Canadian milk which is not A2.

I have tried the following brands/products and have not had any luck:

• Alexandre yogurt
• Organic valley milk
• A2 milk
• Kalona kefir
• Family farmstead a2/a2 organic milk
• Larson farm and creamery a2/a2 organic yogurt
• Activia yogurt drink
• Cabot "lactose-free" cheese

I'm now gonna try driving to Connecticut to try Baldwin Brook Farm raw milk, but I will boil it myself in hopes of it being more natural/fresh. Does anyone have suggestions in the New England area, particularly for those who struggle to digest dairy in the US?

It seems like I'm all set. I got a 520+ MCAT, I submitted my application a few days ago. The only thing I have left is to prewrite 50+ secondary essays over the next 1 month. Only problem is that I am feeling so burned out. I work in clinical research for my gap-year job, and it's an insanely toxic work environment. I am surrounded by premeds, medical students, and physicians. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for the experience, but working overtime and skipping lunch breaks almost feels expected. I've lost so much weight since joining this job. I feel like I'm working all the time and it feels like just a glimpse of medical school and residency. This hypercompetitive micromanaging environment is making me want to quit but I feel like I've already done the hard part, which was applying. I'm just tired of working 45+ hrs in the office and then coming home to finish the remainder of my work till 10pm at night to meet my PI's unrealistic expectations. I feel so incapable everyday at work and my self-confidence is at an all-time low. Writing these shitty essays alongside an extremely intense full-time job feels so hard, I literally think studying for the MCAT was better than this.

I worked as an ER Tech for over 1000 hours, and I learned so much about myself and working in the hospital. I was able to write the 700 character description on my spsecific job duties, but I don't even know how to go about the most meaningful experience description. I feel overwhelmed, I'm not sure what to focus on.

I think the main reason this experience was meaningful to me was because it gave me confidence that I could do what it took to become a doctor. I struggled with extreme self-esteem issues before this, but just seeing life and interacting with all kinds of people changed the way I viewed myself. I did things I never thought I could do, from CPR to just cleaning someone. My coworker who trained me was so patient and kind to me when I struggled with severe anxiety, honestly I would love to mention how his kindness impacted me but I have heard we need to make the description about ourselves. I also wonder if writing about lacking confidence is a red flag?

I feel like this is very disorganized and I'm not sure if I am supposed to include a patient story.

NY resident, ORM

Graduated 1 yr early w/ B.S. in Biology in May 2025 from T30 university

2 gap years prior to matriculation, will have completed first gap year at time of app

cGPA: 3.94, sGPA: 3.90

521 MCAT (1st attempt, 131/127/131/132)

1200 hrs ED Tech at community hospital (did for first 9 months of 1st gap year)

300 hrs Clinical Research Coordinator at academic hospital (current full-time job)

40 hrs shadowing (EM, anesthesia, OB/GYN)

30 hrs Homeless Street Outreach volunteering

110 hrs Hospital Volunteering in Pediatric Surgery Unit

120 hrs STEM tutor at community college I attended

200 hrs nonclinical employment as cashier

Personal Statement: will focus on an interesting place I lived in which made me want to become a doctor. I have received very positive feedback on my PS by others, as it is pretty unique.

Narrative: I don't think my application has much of a narrative, I am just going to be honest and explain why each activity was significant to me. I think all of the stories I have gathered are pretty interesting.

LOR's: 2 science professors, 1 nurse I worked with as an ER Tech

Concerns:

• Very low nonclinical volunteering. The reason is because throughout college, transportation was extremely challenging for me, so I couldn't do much. I was just focusing on getting good grades. When I graduated, it took a lot of time to get accepted as a volunteer in any of the homeless shelters in my area, and this was really the only kind of volunteering that seemed interesting to me. My circumstances made it challenging to volunteer during my gap years even when I did get accepted. My parents got divorced a few years ago, which was extremely challenging financially. My mom was starting a new program in hopes of being able to provide for our family. Most of my time was spent driving her as she does not know how to. I am hoping to put this in the additional info essay of the primary app.
• The other concern is that due to my high stats, I think schools will expect more research hours, which I do not have. I am worried my stats are too high for low to mid tier schools, but EC's are not enough for T20's.
• Finally, I think my shadowing hours are low as well, but I don't think this is as big of a concern. I also do not have any primary care shadowing.

I don't think it is worth it to take another gap year or delay my application to increase nonclinical volunteering, but just wanted to know how much it will negatively impact my app and what kinds of schools I should aim for.

I will try to apply to roughly 30 MD schools, and maybe 4-5 DO schools as a backup.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I really loved John that much, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I really loved John that much, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I really loved John that much, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I really loved John that much, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?

I (20F) started a new job a few weeks ago and was mainly trained by “John” (23M). He sometimes gave incorrect info, so I double-checked with coworkers “Lexi” (24F) and “Ashley” (22F). They strongly dislike him and told me he’s bad at his job and that our manager “Sandy” favors him.

I got influenced by them and started agreeing. I even switched my schedule to train more with them. Ashley pushed me to report John’s mistakes to management, even though I didn’t feel it was a big deal (and he’s leaving in a month anyway).

In a meeting with my manager and her boss, Ashley put me on the spot to explain mistakes. I gave a neutral answer since I’m still training. Afterward, she got angry and told me I should’ve called John out. She then told me to bring up all his mistakes when my manager asked and specifically told me not to mention that she told me to do it.

When my manager spoke to us, I ended up listing John’s mistakes. She wasn’t happy and basically said I should’ve taken more initiative instead of just pointing fingers.

Now I feel awful. I don’t like gossip, and I feel like Ashley is manipulative and talks badly about everyone (including me). Looking back, I think they exaggerated John’s issues, and I regret getting involved.

I want to apologize to my manager and explain that I felt pressured, but I’m worried it’ll just make me look worse or like I’m causing drama.

What should I do?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I really loved John that much, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I desperately need help. Basically, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I (20F, my name will be 'Sarah') was mainly training with 'John' (around 23M) and less so with my other coworkers. He would say incorrect information sometimes that sounded questionable to me, so i would confirm it with my other coworkers, particularly 'Lexi' (24F) and 'Ashley' (22F). They told me that M was saying many wrong things, and that he was terrible at his job. It's true that he doesn't do his job that well, and I noticed him making these mistakes. But he's leaving this job in one month.

Basically, Lexi and Ashley seem to really dislike John. They told me that my manager, Sandy (29F) has extreme favoritism for John. I got manipulated by them and started agreeing that John is bad at his job and I want to switch my schedule so I train more with Lexi and Ashley. Well, my manager approved of this change, albeit somewhat unwillingly. I told Ashley about what mistakes John would make, and she seemed really upset. She told me I need to tell my manager and all of my coworkers the mistakes he's making. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, and if it were myself, i wouldn't have said anything.

But anyway, today we had our weekly meeting with me, Ashley, Sandy, and our manager's manager, Will. Will brought up a concern regarding why certain mistakes were happening. Ashley answered and said that Sarah (me) might know more. I felt like she was putting the blame on me for mistakes that John made. I told Will that when those mistakes happened, I was with John, but I'm not too sure what happened as I was still a trainee. Will seemed to be fine with my explanation and understanding.

However, when the meeting was done, Ashley was furious. She asked me if I was in love with John, she said she was being kind and giving me a chance to call out John to our manager and I wasted it. I felt really bad about myself, I'm very naive and easily manipulated. Ashley told me not to worry however because when Sandy calls us into her office, I should tell her all of the mistakes John makes. She told me specifically not to mention to the manager that she told me to say these things.

Sandy then called us into her office asking about those mistakes. I basically threw John under the bus and told her all the mistakes he made. She didn't seem happy, and she said that he is leaving in 1 month anyway, why does this matter so much? If I was there at that time, why didn't I take an active role in double-checking John? Just because I'm in training doesn't mean I can't do anything.

I felt extremely shitty about the whole situation, I don't like to be a part of gossip. Something that rubbed me wrong is how Ashley gossips about literally everyone, including the manager. I feel like she doesn't like me either and talks shit about me too. Some of her "advice" when training me doesn't seem constructive either, it feels like personal jabs. It feels like her goal is to make me feel bad about myself.

John came in later in the day and I realized that Ashley and Lexi are really overexaggerating, potentially because they are jealous of John. John is very friendly, while he might not be the best at his job, i don't feel like it was my place to tell my manager that he is doing his job badly. I actually realized that Ashley is extremely toxic, manipulative, and jealous. While i blamed John initially, i came to realize it was actually Ashley causing the problems.

I deeply regret engaging in the gossip. I want to apologize to my manager tomorrow and tell her the truth that Ashley coerced me into speaking negatively about John, but I don't know if I should. I worry it will make things worse and make it seem like I spread gossip and cause problems. What should I do?