u/ovelhaloira

1. DADOS PESSOAIS

* Idade*:* 31 anos

* Formação académica: duas licenciaturas e meio mestrado (desistido)

* Experiência profissional: nesta área, 4 anos

* Estado civil: solteira

* Pessoas dependentes/filhos: zero

2. PERFIL DO EMPREGADOR

* Sector/Indústria: contabilidade

* Cidade/Região do Empregador: Lisboa

* Número de trabalhadores: 20-30

* Multinacional? Não

3. CONTRATO E CONDIÇÕES

* Cargo atual: assistente administrativa de contabilidade

* Anos na empresa atual: 2,5

* Horas de trabalho: 40h

* Média de horas por semana, incluindo horas extraordinárias: 40h

* Trabalho por turnos ou das 9h às 5h (flexível?): 9h30-18h30

* Serviço de permanência 24h: não

* Dias de férias/ano: 22

4. SALÁRIO

* Salário bruto/mês (anual): 1550€

* Salário líquido médio/mês (incluindo compensações): 1200€ + o subsídio de refeição

* Compensações líquidas: não entendi, não sei

* 13º/14º mês (Completo? Duodécimos?): completo

* Vales de refeição: subsídio refeição de 10€/dia

* Carro da empresa e/ou cartão de combustível: passe pago

* Seguro de grupo (% empregador): seguro de vida e acesso a consultas tipo médico de família

* Outros seguros: não

* Outros benefícios (bónus, opções de compra de acções, ...): não

5. MOBILIDADE

* Cidade/região de trabalho: Lisboa

* Distância casa-trabalho (km's/tempo): 11km, 45m

* Como te deslocas? Comboio

* Como é compensada a deslocação casa-trabalho? Passe pago

* Dias de teletrabalho/semana: teletrabalho por necessidade e não oficial (doença, consulta, etc)

6. OUTROS

* Com que facilidade podes planear um dia de folga? Muito facilmente

* O teu trabalho é stressante? Não

* Possibilidades de formação: não

* Responsável por uma equipa e/ou projetos (relatórios): não

I'm curious about your relationship dynamics. So I'm wondering, how often do you see each other and for how long?

In april I ended a 10 year old relationship. I had been with someone (D) I didn't care much about (or cared much about me, really) and decided to end things.

At the same time, I had this friend, P, who I met on reddit actually. We started talking on a subreddit related to mental health. We had been talking for nearly one year when I realized I was developing pretty strong feelings for P. P worked on a project basis, like he could be away for a few weeks, then come back home, then be away for a while more. Sometimes he would be months without work but the money he made on those weeks he did work was more than enough.

So I confessed my feelings for P. P said he felt the same way about me and so we agreed we would be together.

I ended things with D and started dating P. After two months of being together, P and I moved into an apartment. This apartment was shitty from start to finish so we hurried and found a new one, into which we moved on august 1.

Mid july he gets a job offer from a project abroad, that's 1,377 miles (2200km) away. This job offer is apparently pretty good for his career. Problem is, we won't be seeing each other for six weeks. So it would be, 6 weeks of work, 2 weeks back home, and the rest is not clear yet because he doesn't know if a) they want him there after he's left for those two weeks; b) if he does want to come back; c) how long the project is at all.

So he left on july 26. Since that day, I've been a completely miserable person. I cry most days, I struggle to eat most days, everything feels like a chore, I had to move houses alone (my friend helped me two days but thats that). I feel like he's abandoned me, that I'm not pretty/interesting enough for him to stay with me.

He says this project is temporary, a good way to make money and that when it's over he'll have plenty of time to be with me and to look for something more stable which will, in his words, benefit us in the future.

All I see is abandonment, that if I was less flawed he wouldn't have done this. I knew this was his line of work but I thought being with me would change his mind and make him realize his work is not compatible with a relationship. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm angry at him for leaving me, I'm angry at myself for not being good/attractive enough for him. Everytime this subject is brought up, or I think about it, or something, I end up mad, upset, or in tears. I wish he had never left for that God awful project.

He says he's always there for me, he calls me everyday and we do videocalls from 1 hour to 3 hours and we text everyday. What I do know is that the routine we had built together (breakfast together, dinner together, being together on weekends, having sex regularly) was completely taken away from me out of the blue. Some nights I just stare at the ceiling and wonder what I could have possibly done wrong to deserve this behaviour.

I do love this guy but I don't know how I'll react when I see him again. Will I cry? Will I hug him? Will I feel like ignoring him? I don't know. There's just too many feelings and emotions happening at the same time.

I do have a therapist in case anyone is wondering.

I keep looking at the calendar and counting the days to when he's coming back because I need to know that there's an end date for this terrible pain I'm feeling.

At the same time I have some terrible thoughts of him catching me cheating on him with someone else, in the apartment for which he pays half the rent and half the fourniture, just so he could feel the same amount of pain he's causing me.

I feel completely deranged and crazy typing this but here we are.

TLDR: bf left for work for a few weeks and I've been feeling pretty depressed and pretty crazy. Help

In april I ended a 10 year old relationship. I had been with someone (D) I didn't care much about (or cared much about me, really) and decided to end things.

At the same time, I had this friend, P, who I met on reddit actually. We started talking on a subreddit related to mental health. We had been talking for nearly one year when I realized I was developing pretty strong feelings for P. P worked on a project basis, like he could be away for a few weeks, then come back home, then be away for a while more. Sometimes he would be months without work but the money he made on those weeks he did work was more than enough.

So I confessed my feelings for P. P said he felt the same way about me and so we agreed we would be together.

I ended things with D and started dating P. After two months of being together, P and I moved into an apartment. This apartment was shitty from start to finish so we hurried and found a new one, into which we moved on august 1.

Mid july he gets a job offer from a project abroad, that's 1,377 miles (2200km) away. This job offer is apparently pretty good for his career. Problem is, we won't be seeing each other for six weeks. So it would be, 6 weeks of work, 2 weeks back home, and the rest is not clear yet because he doesn't know if a) they want him there after he's left for those two weeks; b) if he does want to come back; c) how long the project is at all.

So he left on july 26. Since that day, I've been a completely miserable person. I cry most days, I struggle to eat most days, everything feels like a chore, I had to move houses alone (my friend helped me two days but thats that). I feel like he's abandoned me, that I'm not pretty/interesting enough for him to stay with me.

He says this project is temporary, a good way to make money and that when it's over he'll have plenty of time to be with me and to look for something more stable which will, in his words, benefit us in the future.

All I see is abandonment, that if I was less flawed he wouldn't have done this. I knew this was his line of work but I thought being with me would change his mind and make him realize his work is not compatible with a relationship. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm angry at him for leaving me, I'm angry at myself for not being good/attractive enough for him. Everytime this subject is brought up, or I think about it, or something, I end up mad, upset, or in tears. I wish he had never left for that God awful project.

He says he's always there for me, he calls me everyday and we do videocalls from 1 hour to 3 hours and we text everyday. What I do know is that the routine we had built together (breakfast together, dinner together, being together on weekends, having sex regularly) was completely taken away from me out of the blue. Some nights I just stare at the ceiling and wonder what I could have possibly done wrong to deserve this behaviour.

I do love this guy but I don't know how I'll react when I see him again. Will I cry? Will I hug him? Will I feel like ignoring him? I don't know. There's just too many feelings and emotions happening at the same time.

I do have a therapist in case anyone is wondering.

I keep looking at the calendar and counting the days to when he's coming back because I need to know that there's an end date for this terrible pain I'm feeling.

At the same time I have some terrible thoughts of him catching me cheating on him with someone else, in the apartment for which he pays half the rent and half the fourniture, just so he could feel the same amount of pain he's causing me.

I feel completely deranged and crazy typing this but here we are.

TLDR: bf left for work for a few weeks and I've been feeling pretty depressed and pretty crazy. Help.

In april I ended a 10 year old relationship. I had been with someone (D) I didn't care much about (or cared much about me, really) and decided to end things.

At the same time, I had this friend, P, who I met on reddit actually. We started talking on a subreddit related to mental health. We had been talking for nearly one year when I realized I was developing pretty strong feelings for P. P worked on a project basis, like he could be away for a few weeks, then come back home, then be away for a while more. Sometimes he would be months without work but the money he made on those weeks he did work was more than enough.

So I confessed my feelings for P. P said he felt the same way about me and so we agreed we would be together.

I ended things with D and started dating P. After two months of being together, P and I moved into an apartment. This apartment was shitty from start to finish so we hurried and found a new one, into which we moved on august 1.

Mid july he gets a job offer from a project abroad, that's 1,377 miles (2200km) away. This job offer is apparently pretty good for his career. Problem is, we won't be seeing each other for six weeks. So it would be, 6 weeks of work, 2 weeks back home, and the rest is not clear yet because he doesn't know if a) they want him there after he's left for those two weeks; b) if he does want to come back; c) how long the project is at all.

So he left on july 26. Since that day, I've been a completely miserable person. I cry most days, I struggle to eat most days, everything feels like a chore, I had to move houses alone (my friend helped me two days but thats that). I feel like he's abandoned me, that I'm not pretty/interesting enough for him to stay with me.

He says this project is temporary, a good way to make money and that when it's over he'll have plenty of time to be with me and to look for something more stable which will, in his words, benefit us in the future.

All I see is abandonment, that if I was less flawed he wouldn't have done this. I knew this was his line of work but I thought being with me would change his mind and make him realize his work is not compatible with a relationship. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm angry at him for leaving me, I'm angry at myself for not being good/attractive enough for him. Everytime this subject is brought up, or I think about it, or something, I end up mad, upset, or in tears. I wish he had never left for that God awful project.

He says he's always there for me, he calls me everyday and we do videocalls from 1 hour to 3 hours and we text everyday. What I do know is that the routine we had built together (breakfast together, dinner together, being together on weekends, having sex regularly) was completely taken away from me out of the blue. Some nights I just stare at the ceiling and wonder what I could have possibly done wrong to deserve this behaviour.

I do love this guy but I don't know how I'll react when I see him again. Will I cry? Will I hug him? Will I feel like ignoring him? I don't know. There's just too many feelings and emotions happening at the same time.

I do have a therapist in case anyone is wondering.

I keep looking at the calendar and counting the days to when he's coming back because I need to know that there's an end date for this terrible pain I'm feeling.

At the same time I have some terrible thoughts of him catching me cheating on him with someone else, in the apartment for which he pays half the rent and half the fourniture, just so he could feel the same amount of pain he's causing me.

I feel completely deranged and crazy typing this but here we are.

Estou a experienciar uma das piores fases de sempre. Não calculei que o que me está a acontecer me doesse e custasse tanto. Cada vez que me lembro da situação que estou a experienciar, sobe em mim raiva e tristeza profundas. Parece que esta dor e este sofrimento não têm fim, que vai ser assim para sempre.

Quem podia ajudar e tomar medidas, não o faz. Quem poderia demonstrar amor e afeto, escolhe não o fazer. Isso perturba-me.

Pergunto-me até quando durará esta solidão. Para quando um alívio deste mal estar, para quando um sossego para esta dor que me agita, para quando sensações de conforto e bem-estar há muito vividas? Para quando? A espera parece ser infinita e não há soluções decentes de curto prazo.

Como ter esperança no futuro, como acreditar que é possível edificar um amanhã melhor quando tudo à minha volta parece desmoronar?

Tenho um namorado há cerca de 4 meses. Conhecemo-nos há mais de um ano. Fomos morar juntos faz dois meses numa casa com fracas condições pelo que começamos logo à procura de outra e encontramos.

Há uns dias ele foi para um país europeu trabalhar num projeto (trabalho) que durará algumas semanas mas ainda nem há noções concretas de quando acaba de vez ou etc. Nao há datas fixas de nada (ele diz que dura 6 semanas depois volta 1 ou 2 depois se calhar pode nem ir mais, sei lá) e isso também não ajuda. É muito na base de "mais tarde saberei" e por aí fora.

Ele viajou no sábado à noite e eu nestes dias tenho estado num estado altamente depressivo. Acordo com vontade de chorar, custa-me chegar a casa e ver a casa vazia, custa-me ver a roupa dele no estendal, comida que ele comprou pra ele, não tenho vontade de cozinhar e comer, não tenho vontade de beber água, chego a casa e choro, antes de dormir choro. Só como e bebo água porque tem de ser, porque a vontade é zero. Só não choro quando estou no trabalho porque estou acompanhada e ocupada.

Além disso sou eu 100% encarregue de fazer as mudanças desta casa pra nova, coisa que idealmente seria feito a dois. Portanto trabalho 8h, demoro 1h a chegar a casa e depois ainda tenho de ir mexer em caixas e cenas de modo a garantir que tudo é levado. O Timing também não ajudou, como podem ver. Isto numa fase em que só me apetece chegar, deitar na cama e chorar.

Custa-me olhar pro calendário e perceber que literalmente só passaram 4 dias. 4 dias de 45 segundo o que me foi dito por ele.

Nunca tinha passado por isto antes. Na minha relação anterior, o máximo que ficamos longe (em países diferentes) foi 4 dias. Isto é novo pra mim.

Tenho psicóloga mas esta semana e na anterior ela esteve de férias. Deve voltar pra semana.

Basicamente sinto-me um lixo o dia inteiro, tirando quando estou no meu local de trabalho. Até me surpreende sentir-me tão mal porque ele foi pra fora com a minha aprovação e eu gosto de estar sozinha.

Estive com o meu ex-namorado durante 10 anos. Ele tem um grupo de amigos do secundário que é bastante grande (ao qual entretanto já se juntaram namorados/as, mulheres, maridos, etc), todos fazem no total 15 pessoas.

Durante estes 10 anos, eu ia a todo o tipo de eventos deles. Fui ao casamento de três casais deste grupo. Convidei pessoas para o meu aniversário. Tivemos mini eventos juntos (mini grupos para fazer X atividade e Y atividade).

No início de abril deste ano, terminei as coisas com esse agora ex namorado, sendo que ainda fiquei a viver com ele mais dois meses, em casa dele. Terminamos de forma amigável, por iniciativa minha (não que os motivos importem para o que vou contar, mas já agora terminei porque ele tinha atitudes extremamente tóxicas e abusivas para comigo).

Nestes quatro meses, não tive nem uma palavra de nenhuma das 15 pessoas do grupo. Aliás, uma destas 15p aconselhou o meu ex namorado a expulsar-me no imediato de casa (sendo que a única casa disponível é a da minha mãe e faz-me ficar a 1h30 de transportes do meu trabalho). A uma outra vendi algo, por intermédio do meu ex namorado, e ela nem me transferiu o € diretamente. Transferiu para ele e ele depois para mim, como se de uma desconhecida me tratasse e não alguém que literalmente foi ao casamento dela.

Escrevo isto com um misto de choque e mágoa, porque sempre os considerei pessoas decentes. Mas pelos vistos apenas me viam como "a namorada do X" e não como a pessoa que sou. Sinto que para estas pessoas morri ou que abandonei um culto em que nem sabia que estava.

Procuro opiniões, se já vos aconteceu, como lidaram...

Em verdade digo que me custa mais esta atitude de pessoas que sempre estimei imenso do que o término da minha relação em si.