u/peachylunarstar

Hey guys! My mum and I are heading to Vietnam at the end of August for 12 nights. We’re flying in and out of Hanoi, and currently planning to visit:

Hanoi → Ha Long Bay → Sapa → Hoi An

Would love some opinions on our itinerary! Any recommendations, places you’d definitely visit/avoid, or thoughts on whether this is all doable without being too exhausting would be really appreciated.

I’ve tried to build in enough rest/down time, and I’ve accounted for our actual arrival/departure times, so the days below are based on the time we genuinely have available.

The one place I really wanted to fit in but couldn’t was Ninh Binh. I’m tempted, but I don’t want to make the trip too action-packed, especially as we’re flying down to Hoi An and I want to give that area enough time to make the journey worthwhile.

I also haven’t properly researched everything to do in each place yet, so some of the days are intentionally blank/open — recommendations very welcome!

Day 1 – Hanoi
Shopping
Train Street
Old Quarter
Food/cafés
Generally taking it easy as we’ll have arrived very late the night before after a long flight!

Days 2–3 – Ha Long Bay
2D1N Ha Long/Lan Ha Bay cruise
Staying overnight on the cruise

Day 3 – Ha Long Bay → Hanoi
Cruise ends and transfer back to Hanoi
Explore/chill in Hanoi for the rest of the day

Day 4 – Hanoi → Sapa
Early morning limousine to Sapa, hopefully arriving around lunchtime
Fansipan cable car
Sapa sightseeing

Day 5 – Sapa → Hanoi
Rong May Glass Bridge
O Quy Ho Pass
Then either a VIP sleeper/cabin bus or sleeper train back to Hanoi. Still undecided on this and would LOVE opinions from anyone who’s done either!

Day 6 – Hanoi → Hoi An ✈️
Fly Hanoi → Da Nang and transfer to Hoi An
Assuming around 3–5 hours of the day will be spent travelling
Chill once we arrive
Shopping/exploring
Hoi An Old Town + lanterns at night

Day 7 – Hoi An
My Son Sanctuary
Other Hoi An attractions

Day 8 – Hoi An
Currently open! Recommendations welcome 😊

Day 9 – Hoi An → Hanoi
Probably spend some of the day in Hoi An and fly back to Hanoi later

Day 10 – Hanoi
Open/exploring Hanoi

Day 11 – Hanoi
Final full day in Hanoi

Day 12 – Home ✈️
Leaving the hotel around 4:30am for our flight home

So… what would you change?
Is this a good balance for a first trip, or are we trying to fit too much in? Would you sacrifice any Hoi An/Hanoi time to squeeze in Ninh Binh, or leave it as it is?

Also very interested in recommendations for Sapa, Hoi An and Hanoi, and whether you’d choose the VIP cabin bus or sleeper train from Sapa back to Hanoi.

Thanks! 🇻🇳❤️

F28, Londoner & Lonely

I began my life in really secure friendship groups, where I was the friend who bought in new friends and created these amazing groups. I was the funny one who was really loved to be honest. I was that girl who was (controversial) always in a relationship, some long term, some not so much. But I loved love, and I always knew I wanted to find my person as soon as I could.

Somewhere along the way, those friendship groups just dissolved, and I found myself lonelier than ever. I’d say 18 was the turning point in that situation, I wouldn’t on reflection say it was my fault… it was the situation in that I had moved schools (only 15 mins away from my old school) but I don’t think I had great friends who understood I felt lonely/ left out, and they just never put in effort.

Life went on, and I found my friendships always held an expiry date. Being ghosted, treated badly, lack of consideration for my feelings, low effort… it just meant friendships were always me trying and the other person just treating me as a side piece.

One of my “best friends” started to ghost me a few weeks ago, knowing I had an engagement end, family loss, full blown depressive and dark tendencies. The reason wasn’t valid, but she claims she had her reasons and offered to explain it to me (after I called her out for ghosting/ ignoring me), and at that point I said it’s fine leave it we can just be civil. Because no matter what I did (which I 1000000% know I did not do anything justifying that treatment), I would never treat her that way and just leave her in the dark at a time where she was at her lowest.

I’m single, after a horrible/ toxic relationship which lasted a year. It’s been a lot, as I was due to marry him and move to his country - but instead I’m left with a lot of cancelled wedding expenses and jobless.

How do I get out of this? I just feel so alone… no family, no friends, no partner… just unsure how I ended up here sometimes. I’m a reflective person and I am not flaw free, but I also know I deserve love respect and empathy - especially when it’s only been 2 months since my world crumbled.

Hey all,

I’ve finally booked my flights and hotel to Vietnam, Hanoi. I really wanted to do a situation where I flew into Hanoi and flew out from somewhere else, but it actually worked out cheaper to get all inclusive flights and hotels just in Hanoi.

I’m going with my mum (she’s 51, but quite the thrill seeker). E.G., she would do a rope bridge, but a bungee jump probably not. Having said that we’re looking for a balance of adventure of luxury.

I’ve got 11 full days to play around with. Please give me your must see recommendations! From everyone, I have heard:
• 1 night, 2 days: Ha long Bay cruise is a must (but also heard there are other cruises similar and way less touristy that are better)
• 3 nights: Hanoi (not loads to see there apparently)
• 4 nights: Sapa, but someone actually said 2 nights there is fine.

Other places I’ve seen: Ha Giang Loop, Hoi An (but logistically, how feasible is this if I come into Hanoi and fly from Hanoi)

So please tell me where we should go! Any travel itinerary’s would be appreciated as I am really struggling with the planning.

Hey all,

Born and raised in the U.K. I don’t have many friends so here I am, wanting some connections on Reddit and just to have a good chat to be honest. Life gets lonely, and I find myself on here just scrolling/ enjoying the here and there chats I have :).

I love reading (currently reading the Tommen series and ACOTAR), keeping fit, Netflix and psychology. I’m really into self development, so self-help books and podcasts are really my thing.

Shoot me a dm if you just want to chat! Please just make your dm interesting (I’d prefer to chat to females, would love to chat to fellow Indians/ Punjabis)

Hey all,

F,28 here. I have so much in my life to be grateful for, I’m sure we all do. However, I can’t help but feeling like I’ve reached rock bottom and everytime I think things will get better… they don’t. It gets worse. In the last 1.5 year the following has happened:

1. I began talking to someone online (B) and it was great. I genuinely was like this is the man of my dreams, he’s great, we were both travelling at the time we began speaking but agreed to meet once we got back. Long story short, we had the same surname and that was a no no from his side of the family… so it made sense to not take it any further but so annoying because I had never connected with someone that well.

2. Things with B ended, and I ended up in a bit of an arrange marriage situation (slightly forced eventually). I did not love him and there was a lot of manipulation from his side. I was going to move to his county, so I quit my job… long story short it was just such a bad relationship and I had to make the hard decision with my family to put an end to it all. It’s been devastating to say the least.

3. jobless… I’m a career orientated person but now I’m jobless and struggling. Found I lack all motivation in life too now.

4. I ended up reconnecting with B recently who reached out… he had a crap year but long story short, he said nothings changed in his situation we still can’t be together but he just missed talking to someone he got along with. He was keen to meet up but I essentially had to say listen… I can’t mentally and emotionally meet you knowing that there’s no longevity to the situation. It’s unfair on me…he just responded like yeah that’s fair enough. I guess there’s no fight in him or desire to like… just even try or be open to the fact that it might work out between us and that means he will need to stand up against his family.

5. I genuinely have amazing friends, and also some of the worst friends. One friend said I should get over everything (a month after the ending of my engagement…). Thanks Sherlock Holmes but it’s not the case I’m not trying? Some empathy wouldn’t kill you. Other friends have literally asked me what happened and I’ve messaged and they’ve just not replied… no-one really gives a fuck about me honestly.

6. my mental health is absolutely shambles. Like I’m ok some days, worse for wear other days. I genuinely am trying, I have hobbies, therapy, I journal, I talk to friends and family. Essentially I try.

But I feel like my hope is wearing thin. I’ve never felt as hopeless as I do. I feel romantically so broken… so aware that yes I might be alone for a long time/ forever. I feel like I’ve learnt I can’t trust everyone…my fiance wasn’t a stranger, he was a life long family friend who betrayed my family and I. It just hurts. Please, any advice, wisdom… I do have faith in god but even that waivers as I realise my life goes from seemingly becoming better to shit again.

Thank you Reddit❤️

As someone who was ghosted, many times, I wanted to give advice. Firstly - IT IS SO PAINFUL! I know so many people think it’s whatever, who cares, you only spoke to them for a few weeks. Sometimes you get ghosted by someone who you knew for years, sometimes it’s a friend, a family member, a romantic connection. It’s so varied… so this is my advice on how to make it out

1. Stay respectful: If you want to reach out to them again, just to make sure it is the case you are being ghosted or acknowledge that they are ghosting you - that’s ok. But remember you may not get a response, so it’s better to send something which if the third person sees thinks you’re not the problem, the other person is. This is also to help your own ego, as ghosting really does damage the ego.
2. Delete them and block them: Kill the hope of them reaching out, because you will have it. If you have their number, deleting it is enough as I find if you block it, you’re tempted to reach out. Block their social media. Seeing updates from them will hurt. I got ghosted a few times… a friend, romantic relations, and I called them from private numbers and they picked up. It did not help, it hurt.

When it comes to blocking - this depends on you. Expect that they will not reach out (usually don’t), but in 5 years if they did - would you care? Would you respond? Would that ignite more hurt? Based on this just block.

3. They walked out preventing you years of pain: In a weird way, they made the choice to leave… so honour it. It’s better they walk away now, than months/ years later and they save you time and give you the chance to heal. Trust me, if you overcome the pain of ghosting you can overcome the pain of a lot of things. It’s a brutal challenge life throws, but it can be overcome.

Someone who does this to you, does not deserve you in their life. They do not deserve your love, attention, your efforts. So in the words of CardiB, “I wish them well… in hell”. You are so much better off, the universe did you a favour by getting rid of them. The longer you hold onto it all, the more pain it gives you. Let it go, and start to heal and move on.

4. Do not ghost yourself: The pain is excruciating. A message that takes 10 seconds would save so much heartbreak. So remember what you’re feeling and always give the respect to others. I don’t mean you talk to a guy for less than a day and conversation is superficial and you need to tell them you’re ghosting them - you have to judge it case by case basis. Anyone you meet, talk to for more than a few days I’d say deserves the respect.

Now finally: I hope you are ok. It is shit, my dms are open. You will go through the motions of trying to understand the reason why they did what they did and the truth is: we won’t know. Better to live our life than to dissect a situation. I do recommend reading about attachment styles though, typically those who are avoidant tend to ghost. It might help you spot signs in the future.

Any tips you guys have , share in the comments!

Hey guys,

I’m a female, 28, in London. I recently became single (I’m heart broken but don’t worry, the guy was trash so it’s a good thing!). I’m not completely ready to date yet (I want to, but it comes from a place of boredom, insecurity, feeling lonely. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t mind meeting someone, taking it slow and just knowing them?). I’m unemployed at the moment too, and actively searching for jobs.

Give me your wisdom, what can I do to become the best version of myself! Tell me everything you did/ wish you did when you were single.

Thank you in advance all!

Hey guys,

I’m an Asian girl who’s pretty hairy (body hair, excessive facial hair etc). But my hair started falling out a lot this time last year. My hair is quite thin, but there’s been a lot of it. Now I’m finding strands of hair are falling out a lot (approx 250 a day, I counted. 50 is the norm apparently).

My lifestyle is pretty healthy - I exercise, eat and drink pretty clean, hygiene is good (wash hair 2x a week, oil it once a month), don’t use heat/ don’t towel dry it, my hormones are fine from awareness.

I don’t take any vitamins at the moment, or anything to help with the hair loss but this is where I’d appreciate your help! I do electrolysis on my face, at home IPL laser on my arms/ legs/ etc. Any advice on what I can do to promote my head hair growth, without causing any excessive body hair growth?

I’m F,28 (Asian), and it’s been 21 days since my relationship officially ended. Last year May I was recommended to talk to someone who was a family friend but he lived overseas. We spoke, and it moved quite quickly and next thing you know, I was on a flight and we had a bit of a “blessing” ceremony by July to announce we were to be married. This is not normal, even in my world, but for me his entire family knowing about me added some pressure to make the relationship more acceptable by Asian standards, and as we were family friends it felt a little more safe/ official. In all honesty, I know I might get some Reddit judgement about the timeline of that, I can just say this was bizarre even by my own wider family/ friend’s standards too. The situation was a bit abnormal to be honest, and on reflection his family really put the pressure on myself and my family to speed it up to the extent they did with a lot of false promises of my fiancé would fly over loads, we could spend time etc.

Once I came back home, my now fiancé became a lot more distant and as mentioned, the thought came that he just wanted to trap me. He was really unbothered with everything, talking to me, any visa prep, wedding planning, talking to my family. When he did end up flying over to see me which was 2 months later, he was so boring and unadventurous (considering he’d come to my country for the first time), and this was someone who said he wanted to go travelling. Somehow, even though he was with my family and I, it felt like he just didn’t really spend time with us (eg on phone calls, his family also came so hid behind that). Our arguments became worse and worse as time went on, and I tried to end it multiple times but instead I’d get into trouble by my own family and his. He’d go weeks without talking to me, and as an anxious person, I hate avoidance (which was what he did)

In May this year, we went to do wedding shopping in India and he was so unbothered there too. That was the situation where red flags went off for my parents as they were there too, and they started to see everything I’d been saying. When we came back home, my fiancé and I argued again and he just became way more distant than usual. My parents got involved and realised he really just doesn’t care… and decided to call everything off.

This situation is strange in that I actually don’t have feelings for him, but I created this “potential” in my mind and I stayed in something because I essentially treated it like a marriage. My previous relationships have never been like this, if someone didn’t talk to me for a week/ 2 weeks, it’d be over but in this case it was so complicated. I really feel I did my best to make it work, because I had to and it failed. What sucks more is that I did speak to his family a lot and I treated his mum and dad as my own, his sister as my own, and I became really close to them. But their true colours have come out since and now I’m realising they were talking to me to brain wash me and keep me under their control, and they just kept pacifying me when I complained about my fiancé (eg saying no, he loves you, he’s just so busy at work, he was saying he misses you, he’s so tired).

Any advice on how to heal from this and become better as a person? I know I am flawed, eg did I argue a lot, yes. Did I say things I should not have said, yes. I felt like a rubber band in that relationship where i kept being stretched and I snapped. I don’t want to be anxious, neurotic, I want to be secure healthy and have the best approach to dating when the time comes. And I just want to be happy.

I’m F,28 (Asian), and it’s been 21 days since my relationship officially ended. Last year May I was recommended to talk to someone who was a family friend but he lived overseas. We spoke, and it moved quite quickly and next thing you know, I was on a flight and we had a bit of a “blessing” ceremony by July to announce we were to be married. This is not normal, even in my world, but for me his entire family knowing about me added some pressure to make the relationship more acceptable by Asian standards, and as we were family friends it felt a little more safe/ official. In all honesty, I know I might get some Reddit judgement about the timeline of that, I can just say this was bizarre even by my own wider family/ friend’s standards too. The situation was a bit abnormal to be honest, and on reflection his family really put the pressure on myself and my family to speed it up to the extent they did with a lot of false promises of my fiancé would fly over loads, we could spend time etc.

Once I came back home, my now fiancé became a lot more distant and as mentioned, the thought came that he just wanted to trap me. He was really unbothered with everything, talking to me, any visa prep, wedding planning, talking to my family. When he did end up flying over to see me which was 2 months later, he was so boring and unadventurous (considering he’d come to my country for the first time), and this was someone who said he wanted to go travelling. Somehow, even though he was with my family and I, it felt like he just didn’t really spend time with us (eg on phone calls, his family also came so hid behind that). Our arguments became worse and worse as time went on, and I tried to end it multiple times but instead I’d get into trouble by my own family and his. He’d go weeks without talking to me, and as an anxious person, I hate avoidance (which was what he did)

In May this year, we went to do wedding shopping in India and he was so unbothered there too. That was the situation where red flags went off for my parents as they were there too, and they started to see everything I’d been saying. When we came back home, my fiancé and I argued again and he just became way more distant than usual. My parents got involved and realised he really just doesn’t care… and decided to call everything off.

This situation is strange in that I actually don’t have feelings for him, but I created this “potential” in my mind and I stayed in something because I essentially treated it like a marriage. My previous relationships have never been like this, if someone didn’t talk to me for a week/ 2 weeks, it’d be over but in this case it was so complicated. I really feel I did my best to make it work, because I had to and it failed. What sucks more is that I did speak to his family a lot and I treated his mum and dad as my own, his sister as my own, and I became really close to them. But their true colours have come out since and now I’m realising they were talking to me to brain wash me and keep me under their control, and they just kept pacifying me when I complained about my fiancé (eg saying no, he loves you, he’s just so busy at work, he was saying he misses you, he’s so tired).

Any advice on how to heal from this and become better as a person? I know I am flawed, eg did I argue a lot, yes. Did I say things I should not have said, yes. I felt like a rubber band in that relationship where i kept being stretched and I snapped. I don’t want to be anxious, neurotic, I want to be secure healthy and have the best approach to dating when the time comes. And I just want to be happy.

I (f,28) am no longer getting married. My fiance was an old family friend who lived in the US, whilst I lived in the U.K. we were recommended to each other and after some speaking, we decided to get our roka done 3 months into speaking (so we met for the first time, and got our roka done a few days later).

Right after the roka, he changed a lot. He just wasn’t interested in talking to me, and I was left feeling like he almost just wanted to trap me and didn’t care for the relationship part, or any of the duties as part of being a fiance/ husband (eg Visa, wedding planning). His family covered up for him a lot (saying he’s tired, he’s busy at work, he said he loves you, he misses you) although he never actually said it.

He flew to London 2 months after the Roka, again was just aloof and disinterested in me. Then recently we went to India, and when I tell you this man could not care less - he literally said he was on vacation and I was ruining that (we were in India to do wedding shopping - OUR wedding shopping).

To keep a long story short, there were so many things that happened which became red flags and my parents at first blamed me, but after experiencing my fiancé’s disinterest in anything and his lack of ability to communicate with me, and then them - we jointly decided it would be best to put this all to an end. My fiance was very rude to me, lacked emotional awareness, was not supportive (i.e., did not understand my sacrifices, like me moving to America, becoming vegetarian and a non-drinker, adjusting to what I think was a backwards family, they didn’t even wear sleeveless meanwhile I wear what I want). He ignored me a lot, and it felt like he gave me the silent treatment and then tried to inflict it on my parents. Suddenly my parents began seeing things for what they were and realised this was a bad relationship where they did not care for me. Furthermore, my family is quite well known so they were essentially just wanting this rishta for status.

The situation now is that as the girls side, we have rejected it and ended it. He could not care less (literally blocked us all), meanwhile his family is still talking to my parents trying to change their minds - it’s so bizarre because I genuinely believe that his family think if my parents say yes, I’d just automatically come around? For my ex-fiance, he clearly just listens to his family and I genuinely believe if by some nightmare this wedding did happen - he’d show up, and then just carry on with his life ignoring me.

My story is so bizarre…my emotions are so up and down. I can’t believe I didn’t see how backwards they were, but instead I was blinded by their love and saw their backwardness as “innocence” and them needing someone to move them into the modern day.

How do you get over this? I’m a strong female, my family are all with me but I find myself feeling so many pangs of sadness. There’s no guarantee you find love in this life, and that’s what I want. I also don’t really know what to do with myself… help?