u/pembunuhcahaya

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Hello, folks. I'm Indonesian and currently living in Bali. I work with no day off, but have a lot of free times between the working hours and think that I could write to someone during those times. I prefer email as I wouldn't trust the post office in my country (my friend tried to sent me postcards from abroad and many of them never arrived). We could do messaging as well, but I don't think I could write too frequent.

Here's something that interests me:

- I'm into philosophical textbooks, my political stance leaning towards left. I read classical literature, especially Russian, as well as poetry (my favorite author is Dostoevsky and Rilke).

- My favorite physical activity is walking and hiking. I do photography as well. So I mostly combine these activities together. My favorite weather is foggy mountain and sunny beach.

- I work in construction, love architecture. Mainly, I have a special interest in religious places (church, temple, mosque, etc).

- On my bed before sleep, sometimes I draw, sometimes I do geography quiz. I can name all the countries and capitals name in the world.

I'd like a pal to talk about cultures, architecture, countries and society, philosophy, literature (would love to hear about your fav authors and works), hiking stories, or anything. We can also share pictures (I love documenting things and sharing them).

I don't mind your gender and age (I need female more actually, but male or other genders also welcome). If you're interested, please hit me up with a proper introduction (I wouldn't accept a low effort text) and make sure that it stays platonic.

Thank you in advance, may all the good things happens to you:)

Edited: Posted again as I accidentally deleted my previous post when I wanna edit something on it.

For a brief introduction, my accident is a solo crash, while my sister got hit by a truck that took a wrong lane. My nephew died right away, while my sister survived for a while and died this February after 6 surgeries.

My family is still trying to navigate our life as my sister also left a 14 years old mentally ill son.

Sometimes the whole event feels like fiction, but then reality hits and I don't know how to feel. So, feel free to ask me anything. Thank you:)

I went to Nusa Penida unplanned and without a deep research (my fault, I know) two days ago. However I didn't have any expectations, I know the roads would likely to be narrow and damaged, not much lighting after sunset, it will be too crowded, etc etc.

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In my mind, I'll deal with all of that later just like I used to do. But, here's the things that I found out that I think would be better if I found out sooner.

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- Cars ... too many cars. It's hard enough using a motorcycle itself because there are a lot of twists, uphills, and downhills on the narrow and bumpy roads. It was harder because these cars sometimes stopping in the middle of uphill or downhill and you can't pass them. You need to be SKILLED (in capital btw) to get through that.

- Some of the places require hiking. There are a lot of them. Please wear a comfortable shoes. Always bring water. Never let your phone dies.

- There are no activities after dark. I went to Crystal Bay at 8 pm and it was completely empty (and it was a popular spot, crowded during the day). Not a single warung opened. Nice for stargazing, but you can do that from anywhere in the island.

- For the same reason, please buy your essentials (snacks, drinks, etc) during the day. You'll need it, trust me.

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:)

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Bidangku konstruksi. Waktu aku mendapat tawaran pekerjaan ini, aku sempat memikirkan mental struggle yang akan kuhadapi. Aku sudah diberitahu bahwa semua pekerja (baik managerial maupun pekerja lapangan) adalah laki-laki dan aku akan jadi satu-satunya perempuan di sini. Akan tetapi, karena posisi yang ditawarkan adalah back office (dan mengingat aku butuh makan), aku akhirnya menerima pekerjaan ini.

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Pekerjaannya sendiri baik-baik saja, tetapi interaksiku dengan coworkers-ku membuatku terus merasa marah.

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- Pagi ini misalnya, waktu aku hendak mengambil air minum di dapur, beberapa pekerja lapangan masih belum berangkat ke site. Ketika aku melewati mereka, aku terus-terusan dipandang, seperti ditelanjangi. Satu orang berkata, "Cantik banget Mbak (namaku)," juga, "Aduh istriku." kemudian, "Tiap hari cantik terus." Aku tidak cantik, mereka melakukan itu kepada setiap perempuan yang ada dalam jangkauan mereka.

- Pada awalnya, aku mengadu ke atasanku. Mereka ditegur, satu hari berhenti, tetapi besoknya begitu lagi. Saban hari, aku juga bilang stop, mereka cuma menanggapi dengan tertawa. Sekarang, untungnya, aku cuma cukup menatap mereka dengan sinis dan mereka akan berhenti.

- The thing is, deep down aku takut. Nature dari laki-laki semacam mereka adalah emosional. Jika kita terlalu baik, mereka mengira kita suka diperlakukan demikian. Jika kita terlalu jahat, mereka bisa membalas dendam. Aku marah karena aku tidak punya cukup kuasa untuk menghentikan mereka tanpa ada masalah di kemudian hari.

- Kata atasanku, mereka begitu karena mereka tidak berpendidikan. Banyak yang bahkan tidak lulus SMA. Oh, how wrong he is. Karena coworkersku yang berpendidikan tinggi pun tetap saja membuatku marah. Tidak lagi dalam bentuk catcalling murahan, melainkan dalam bentuk jokes-jokes yang entah mengapa selalu terselip misogini dan seksisme. Dua hari misalnya, kami sedang membahas salah satu proyek terasso ketika topik berubah ke arah ... poligami:) Satu orang bilang semua laki-laki ingin berpoligami, sebab perempuan adalah trofi. Satu orang bilang tidak semua laki-laki, sebab perempuan itu seperti hewan buas yang akan saling menyerang jika dimasukkan dalam satu kandang.

- Also the casual racism! Bagaimana mereka menyebut perempuan dari suku A selalu menjadi pelacur, atau suku B selalu malas dan tidak bisa diandalkan, dan lain sebagainya dan lain sebagainya. Menjijikkan.

- Yang membuatku lebih marah lagi adalah menyadari bahwa mereka adalah orang 'normal'. Pendidikan tinggi, pekerjaan bagus, tidak bermasalah di masyarakat, punya anak dan istri. Jenis orang yang biasa kita temui di jalan dan tidak berpikir apa-apa tentang mereka.

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Aku sendiri sebelumnya ingin berpindah pekerjaan, sampai aku menyadari bahwa it was never about me. Jika aku tidak di sini pun, mereka akan tetap begitu. Kemarahanku tidak spesifik pada mereka, kemarahanku ada pada masyarakat yang membiarkan mereka berpikir bahwa tindakan dan pikiran mereka itu benar.

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Ketika aku bersikap sinis dan mereka berhenti, pikiran itu tidak lantas hilang. Mereka cuma berhenti sejenak, tetapi pikiran yang menganggap perempuan adalah objek itu tetap ada. Mereka busuk sampai ke inti dan aku marah karena aku tahu aku tidak bisa memperbaiki itu.

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Sungguh akhir pekan yang indah untuk merasa marah.