u/pinkkzebraa

Me and my spouse are both disabled. We have a 10 month old baby. I have a connective tissue disorder that creates a lot of widespread issues, but is very dynamic. It makes it easy for me to injure myself and I have injured myself especially a lot lately. I also have chronic migraines that are pretty intractable. My worst day is being unable to move from the couch/bed or participate in parenting. My best day is doing 50/50 or better on domestic tasks with spouse, having energy to be romantic and social, etc. I have been having a lot more worst days recently, it’s just the season. My spouse is also disabled with fibromyalgia. I hate to play the game of “who’s more disabled” because I think it’s super unproductive, but my spouse is constantly telling me they HAVE to push through and not get their needs met because I’m “more disabled”It’s hard to argue sometimes, but it doesn’t feel good to accept their stance. They feel like our co-parenting is super unequal because I’m so disabled, and feel really hopeless about it. They don’t blame me for being disabled, they just wish things were different. I do, too. I don’t know how I can make them feel like we are team, which is what we both want to feel, without changing the facts that I often do need a lot of support. I also feel like they just push a lot more than I do, and are constantly suffering because they don’t ask for help. This is our constant source of conflict. We have the same conversations over and over. I want them to tell me what they need, but they don’t feel like they can rely on me for support, especially when I’m on a “worst” day. They are generally hopeless and I am generally hopeful re: our perspectives on our disabilities. I’m feeling really broken up about it to be honest. Anyone relate or have any advice?

What actionable, practical things do you do to heal the vibes when you’re having a lot of bad days and it’s starting to get to you? Even small things?

I have had a hEDS diagnosis for over 10 years now. My spouse was diagnosed with “benign” hypermobility and fibromyalgia a few months ago. I have a mostly positive outlook while they (understandably) have been struggling a lot with hopelessness. We have a 10 month old baby and have been through a lot this year. I had severe PPA/PPD which has gotten better but now I’m having severe antidepressant discontinuation syndrome. I had really bad insomnia that has, again, gotten better but I still have horrible fatigue every day from the sleep debt that I can’t really pay back since we have a baby that doesn’t sleep well. I also keep injuring myself. I dislocated and broke my knee last month, sprained my toe and ankle and reinjured my broken knee falling just last night. I keep getting really sick, too. It seems like it’s relentless right now. I can feel my spouse getting a bit frustrated with me and depressed about our situation. They also have bilateral tendonosis in their wrists and chronic pain.

I am very optimistic as I said, but all our bad days, combined with my spouses heavy sense of hopelessness really is getting to me. What can we do to make ourselves feel a bit better, even if temporarily? Thanks in advance ❤️❤️

What actionable, practical things do you do to heal the vibes when you’re having a lot of bad days and it’s starting to get to you? Even small things?

I have had a hEDS diagnosis for over 10 years now. My spouse was diagnosed with “benign” hypermobility and fibromyalgia a few months ago. I have a mostly positive outlook while they (understandably) have been struggling a lot with hopelessness. We have a 10 month old baby and have been through a lot this year. I had severe PPA/PPD which has gotten better but now I’m having severe antidepressant discontinuation syndrome. I had really bad insomnia that has, again, gotten better but I still have horrible fatigue every day from the sleep debt that I can’t really pay back since we have a baby that doesn’t sleep well. I also keep injuring myself. I dislocated and broke my knee last month, sprained my toe and ankle and reinjured my broken knee falling just last night. I keep getting really sick, too. It seems like it’s relentless right now. I can feel my spouse getting a bit frustrated with me and depressed about our situation. They also have bilateral tendonosis in their wrists and chronic pain.

I am very optimistic as I said, but all our bad days, combined with my spouses heavy sense of hopelessness really is getting to me. What can we do to make ourselves feel a bit better, even if temporarily? Thanks in advance ❤️❤️

What are your favourite colour palettes to achieve this vibe? How do you go about balancing a limited colour palettes across a page? I really struggle to stick to colour palettes because I’m not super artistically inclined - I pick the “wrong” kind of undertone to achieve the look I want, or I end up making too many things the same colour, I go off palette because I can’t break the rules of “oh well this object wouldn’t be this colour”. I also struggle to colour match when I find palettes I like online, I have a ton of markers but never feel like I have the right colours - any tips for this? Sometimes I feel like I need to desaturate a colour to make it work, do you have a reliable method of doing this? For example, I’ve added a light brown under a red to tone it down but am interested in other methods for other colours.

TL;DR Please tell me your colour tips and tricks! And please post photos of your favourite warm cozy colour palettes and how you achieved it. Thanks so much for any advice!