u/potttennn

been trying to delete my account since i dont really have any reason to be in the app anymore.
and every time I try, it says “security restrictions. Try again after this hour” blabla

even after waiting that hours (or longer), i get the exact same message. its just stuck in this loop

had anyone else experienced this? why this happening? is tnis some bug? and is there a way to get past this?

i’ve always had social anxiety, but over the years I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and made a decent amount of progress.

lately tho, lifes been rough. ive been dealing with anhedonia, severe sleep deprivation, and a complete loss of appetite. gotten so skinny that I believe a strong gust of wind could blow me away. for the past 2+ months, ive mostly been alone at home while my parents were away. i barely went outside or even saw sunlight, and I’ve basically been rotting in my room.

now that im forcing myself to get back to my routine, i feel like my social anxiety has come back stronger than ever. my heart feel like its gonna burst out just being around people, and I keep doing clumsy, awkward things because im so anxious. It embarrasses me to the point where i don’t even want to interact with people anymore and just stay home, which only ends up reinforcing the same cycle.

im guessing staying isolated for so long is the reason for this sudden spike in anxiety, but I’m really worried because in about a month I’ll be moving 2,000 km away for college, to a place where I don’t even know the local language.

to make things worse, I even had to postpone meeting my girlfriend (we’re in LDR) because of this. she wanted to meet, but i turned it down because I don’t want her to see me like this. i don’t want her to see this anxious, withdrawn version of me that ive become. it hurts because i was looking forward to meeting her, but right now i cant even imagine putting myself in that situation.

i know I can’t completely get rid of my social anxiety in a month, but I just want to make some progress before college starts. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any tips, exercises, or habits that genuinely helped reduce the anxiety even a little, please let me know.

I’m willing to try anything at this point ijust don’t want to carry this level of fear into a completely new environment.

i’ve always had social anxiety, but over the years I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and made a decent amount of progress.

lately tho, lifes been rough. ive been dealing with anhedonia, severe sleep deprivation, and a complete loss of appetite. gotten so skinny that I believe a strong gust of wind could blow me away. for the past 2+ months, ive mostly been alone at home while my parents were away. i barely went outside or even saw sunlight, and I’ve basically been rotting in my room.

now that im forcing myself to get back to my routine, i feel like my social anxiety has come back stronger than ever. my heart feel like its gonna burst out just being around people, and I keep doing clumsy, awkward things because im so anxious. It embarrasses me to the point where i don’t even want to interact with people anymore and just stay home, which only ends up reinforcing the same cycle.

im guessing staying isolated for so long is the reason for this sudden spike in anxiety, but I’m really worried because in about a month I’ll be moving 2,000 km away for college, to a place where I don’t even know the local language.

to make things worse, I even had to postpone meeting my girlfriend (we’re in LDR) because of this. she wanted to meet, but i turned it down because I don’t want her to see me like this. i don’t want her to see this anxious, withdrawn version of me that ive become. it hurts because i was looking forward to meeting her, but right now i cant even imagine putting myself in that situation.

i know I can’t completely get rid of my social anxiety in a month, but I just want to make some progress before college starts. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any tips, exercises, or habits that genuinely helped reduce the anxiety even a little, please let me know.

I’m willing to try anything at this point ijust don’t want to carry this level of fear into a completely new environment.

i’ve always had social anxiety, but over the years I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and made a decent amount of progress.

lately tho, lifes been rough. ive been dealing with anhedonia, severe sleep deprivation, and a complete loss of appetite. gotten so skinny that I believe a strong gust of wind could blow me away. for the past 2+ months, ive mostly been alone at home while my parents were away. i barely went outside or even saw sunlight, and I’ve basically been rotting in my room.

now that im forcing myself to get back to my routine, i feel like my social anxiety has come back stronger than ever. my heart feel like its gonna burst out just being around people, and I keep doing clumsy, awkward things because im so anxious. It embarrasses me to the point where i don’t even want to interact with people anymore and just stay home, which only ends up reinforcing the same cycle.

im guessing staying isolated for so long is the reason for this sudden spike in anxiety, but I’m really worried because in about a month I’ll be moving 2,000 km away for college, to a place where I don’t even know the local language.

to make things worse, I even had to postpone meeting my girlfriend (we’re in LDR) because of this. she wanted to meet, but i turned it down because I don’t want her to see me like this. i don’t want her to see this anxious, withdrawn version of me that ive become. it hurts because i was looking forward to meeting her, but right now i cant even imagine putting myself in that situation.

i know I can’t completely get rid of my social anxiety in a month, but I just want to make some progress before college starts. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any tips, exercises, or habits that genuinely helped reduce the anxiety even a little, please let me know.

I’m willing to try anything at this point ijust don’t want to carry this level of fear into a completely new environment.

im joining LPU this year and have chosen a 3-seater studio apartment. im looking for roommates, preferably fellow mallus, since it’d be nice to have atleast someone who speaks my native language. 😅

ofc, im open to anyone who’s looking for a roommate too. If you’ve chosen the same or are interested, feel free to DM me!

njan kand netti, iny ingel poyi nett🎀

went to the cinema today. ennitt counterlnn ticketnde paisa pay cheyyan vendi phone edkkan keeshel keyy ittappo ind TV de remote 🫩.

then while rushing back home to get my actual phone, it started raining.
rain coat idaan vendi scooter side akki, and bro.. i was literally taking off my jeans thinking like thinking i had to change into the rain pants instead of just wearing them over.🫩

if my friend didn’t pointed it out i would’ve flashed the whole town 💀

and last week during a lil road trip, oru restaurantnn lunch kayinjitt caril thirich kayari irnnn. was on my phone whole time and it took me like 2 minutes to realize it wasn’t even our car and i was sitting with some random family. and they didn’t even said except just laughing silently entire time. mbbb thankgod they were nice peoples or id have gotten my ass whooped

seriously i cant idk what’s been going on lately 💀💀💀 my brain’s been lagging hard. probably because i haven’t been sleeping properly or something

should i be worried 💀

Me [M20] and my girlfriend[F20] both seem to have disorganized attachment patterns. (she doesn’t know I have one too because I wasn’t aware of this label back when we first talked about attachment stuff, so I never told her. she mostly think i got anxious attachment )

I love her a lot, and because I understood how overwhelming emotions can feel with this attachment style, I always tried my best not to let my avoidant side affect her too much whenever I “deactivate” emotionally. Even when I feel overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted, or feel like running or fleeing I still try my best not to make her feel that.

But she’s kind of the opposite. Whenever she feels overwhelmed, she completely shuts off and disappears, almost like she treats it as a fixed personality trait. I’m assuming she never thought about it as something to work on until I communicated about it. After that, I did see tiny little progress here and there.

So, Whenever she shut down from being overwhelmed, I tried to stay patient because I could relate to what she was going through. Even though the progress was small, I still appreciated it, and I always tried my best not to let my avoidant side hurt the relationship because I genuinely wanted us to work

But recently something happened. She blocked me literally everywhere for over a week. The full context would make this post too long, but if anyone wants the context before giving advice, you can read it here...

https://www.reddit.com/r/KeralaRelationships/s/haTpIJgYjK

[ BUT BEFORE READING IT PLEASE NOTE that post was written while I was in a very frustrated and emotional state, so it might make my girlfriend seem like a complete asshole because I mostly focused on her flaws there. But that’s really not the full picture at all. Except for this communication issue, she’s honestly almost the perfect partner I could’ve asked for. She makes me genuinely glad to be alive because I got the chance to get to know her.]

After that happened, we eventually talked again (which only happened because I started the conversation), and she apologized. The apology was partial, but she still took accountability for her actions, so I decided not to break up.
During that conversation, I made it very clear that I wouldn’t tolerate something like that again.

But her response was basically like “this is who I am” “I can’t promise something like this won’t happen again” and "you are free to take a step back because thats understable"??? not even a "Ill atleast TRY to handle next time???

After that conversation, it’s been almost 10 days with basically no proper conversation again except one tiny 5-line interaction that also ended with her leaving me on read.
Of course I know things won’t instantly go back to normal after something like this happened. I understand that.

But it’s still been 10 days.
And it been a MONTH since we have talked properly. and its hurting me. and i think it might be hurting her more.because lately I’ve been genuinely scared that this relationship itself is emotionally exhausting her. (not just any assumption but its feels so obvious)

She has a huge exam next month, and she’ hasnt even covered half her syllabus. And I know for a fact our relationship stresses her mentally a lot. She overthinks constantly. Especially about my ex.
he seems terrified that maybe I never fully moved on from my ex, and I genuinely think that fear eats her alive internally sometimes

But the thing is… it’s not true at all...
I don’t even think about my ex emotionally anymore. i dont evn know what made her feel like im not over my ex.
The amount of love and emotional attachment I have toward my girlfriend is something my ex relationship never even came close to. I genuinely saw her as the woman I wanted in my life long-term, which is why seeing her mentally overwhelmed hurts me this much.
The worst part is she rarely communicates her fears openly. So instead of reassuring her properly, I only get silence, distance, shutdowns, or avoidance.

And I think there are many other things too that overwhelm her emotionally about this relationship, to the point where she can’t even focus properly on academics anymore.

And now I’m stuck wondering:
am I becoming the reason she’s constantly emotionally overwhelmed?

Because even though this relationship hurts me too, I can still handle pain better than she can. I can force myself to communicate even when I feel like disappearing.

But she seems emotionally consumed by everything.

And lately I’ve been thinking:
what if me stepping away would actually give her peace?

What if she’d perform better academically, stress less, and mentally feel lighter without this relationship constantly triggering her attachment wounds?

It’s been over a month since we properly fucking talked.
I miss talking to her. I miss her voice. I don’t even know how many tears I’ve wasted crying over this shit.

But I genuinely don’t know anymore if love is enough when communication keeps collapsing like this.

We’re currently temporarily long distance because of her dad’s treatment, and even something that started from a silly situation turned into almost a month of silence.

And now I keep thinking… what will happen after a few months when I move 2000km away for university for 3 years?
If we’re struggling this badly already while still technically being together like this, what’s going to happen then?
Especially when she herself says she can’t promise she won’t repeat things like this again, or doesn’t even seem willing to try working on it properly.

That’s the part that scares me the most.

I’m very aware that probably 99% of our problems would be solved if we both just openly communicated properly.

But I genuinely don’t think that’s going to happen. she wont even open up to me its like she has taken this pledge to herself that shed eat shit over talking to me. And I’m tired of chasing communication

I feel like we can never fully go back to how we used yo be unless we openly talk about everything properly, and i honestly dont she will. and I’m tired of chasing communication

Maybe she want this as fixed personality trait other than its something to fix to.

So I genuinely want advice from you, guys.

Should I breakup because this relationship might genuinely be harming her mentally?
Or is this something that can still improve with enough patience and space?
would letting her go actually give her peace?

i (20M) have been having anhedonia for the past few weeks, and because of the sleep deprivation i had for almost a month, i kinda crashed into a big sleep of like 18–20 hours on sunday (26 april).

i woke up to random calls on my phone and found out my girlfriend, who can go WEEKS without talking to me, had suddenly called me during those hours. obviously i couldn’t attend or reply because i was sleeping.

i was still in a very messed up state after waking up, heavy headache, fast heartbeat, dizzy, couldn’t even type properly but i still somehow managed to text her “i was sleeping.”

and her reply was “fuck off.” and then she blocked me instantly.

even though it left me confused and pissed at first, later when i came back to my senses and realized i had slept for that huge amount of time, i thought maybe she was worried and that’s why she got mad. i even thought about apologizing through another platform and explaining everything properly, but then i found out i was blocked. not just on one or two apps, but on literally every single app out there.

the funny thing is… the love of my life who blocked me for missing two calls is the same person who didn’t give a fuck when i called her like 10–15 times when i was having a really hard time and just wanted to hear her voice (it usually calms me down, she got sweetest soothing voice ever). she didn’t even pick up, even though she was completely free. (this happened like a week before she called me)

and i don’t even have any complain or isnt about that, because i know she’s not a “call person” and it’s up to her if she wants to pick up or not.so i wasn’t mad or holding anything against her for that.
but what throws me off is... she can ignore my calls, but i miss two calls while literally asleep, and suddenly i should “fuck off” and get blocked everywhere??

okay, even if it was because she was worried after i didn’t respond for like 17 hours, who tf blocks like that without even asking what happened? what if something actually HAD happened to me?

and even if she thought i was just ignoring her, this is the same girl who ghosts me like it’s a random tuesday whenever she feels pressured or overwhelmed — she just disappears. sometimes for hours, sometimes days, even a week. even though it used to make me anxious as hell at first, now i’m just used to it.

i’ve always tried to be understanding because i know she has a disorganized attachment style. but little does she know i have the same attachment style too??

the difference is, i don’t treat it like a fixed personality trait like she does. i actually try to work on it. most of the time i force myself to act more secure, and even if i slip into my anxious side sometimes, i still try my BEST not to show my avoidant side, because i know if both of us start acting like that, this relationship is not going to go anywhere and life will just become shit.

why am i doing all this? because i’ve seen progress from her too.
even though it’s 'very slow' its still impressive. maybe she doesn’t have the same willpower as me, but i was still satisfied overall with her progress.
but when moments like this happen, it really makes me question if there was any real progress at all??

the amount of disrespect i’ve felt these past few days is insane, that the only thing on my mind has been to break up and end this completely.

but at the same time, i still feel like it was partly my fault for not explaining things properly. i know just saying “i was sleeping” might’ve sounded lazy or like an excuse, but how was i supposed to send a proper explanation right after waking up from a 20-hour crash, feeling like i was dying, with a headache, fast heartbeat, and dizziness? even with all that, i still managed to text her.

and that guilt of not explaining things properly is honestly the only reason i haven’t broken up yet.

but still… who the hell even blocks like this for something like this? im sure she didn't even blocked her ex male friend who turned out to obsessive stalker like she did me. we’re in long distance right now. how are we even supposed to communicate if she blocks me everywhere for reasons liek this?

so because of that guilt, i reached out to her through an instagram account i had that was deactivated before, so she didn’t get the chance to block me there. i explained everything, but she still kept blaming me and didn’t take any accountability at all. that conversation didn’t end well either, but at least i explained my side.

its been :

\* 3 days since that conversation on intagram happend.
\* a week since i’ve been blocked
\* over 20 days since we’ve talked properly
\* and she still hasn’t apologized for this or even for the issue before this, where she pissed me off badly ( which led to us not talking before this happened.)

my mind is screaming at me to break up, but i’m also scared that it might be a dumb decision because i’m in a very emotional state right now and not thinking clearly. on top of that, i’ve already been mildly depressed for weeks.

either way, one thing i’m sure about is i don’t want to be with someone who can’t take accountability.

so i’m giving it a few more days. if nothing changes, i think i already know what i have to do.

i want to know am i overreacting.

*TL;DR: I missed two of my girlfriend’s calls because I was asleep for \~20 hours after being severely sleep deprived. She told me to “fuck off” and blocked me everywhere.*

*The same person has ignored my calls multiple times before when I needed her, and I never made it an issue.*

*I tried explaining later, but she kept blaming me and hasn’t apologized at all. It’s been a week of being blocked and weeks of poor communication overall.*

*I feel disrespected*

i (20M) have been having anhedonia for the past few weeks, and because of the sleep deprivation i had for almost a month, i kinda crashed into a big sleep of like 18–20 hours on sunday (26 april).

i woke up to random calls on my phone and found out my girlfriend, who can go WEEKS without talking to me, had suddenly called me during those hours. obviously i couldn’t attend or reply because i was sleeping.

i was still in a very messed up state after waking up, heavy headache, fast heartbeat, dizzy, couldn’t even type properly but i still somehow managed to text her “i was sleeping.”

and her reply was “fuck off.” and then she blocked me instantly.

even though it left me confused and pissed at first, later when i came back to my senses and realized i had slept for that huge amount of time, i thought maybe she was worried and that’s why she got mad. i even thought about apologizing through another platform and explaining everything properly, but then i found out i was blocked. not just on one or two apps, but on literally every single app out there.

the funny thing is… the love of my life who blocked me for missing two calls is the same person who didn’t give a fuck when i called her like 10–15 times when i was having a really hard time and just wanted to hear her voice (it usually calms me down, she got sweetest soothing voice ever). she didn’t even pick up, even though she was completely free. (this happened like a week before she called me)

and i don’t even have any complain or isnt about that, because i know she’s not a “call person” and it’s up to her if she wants to pick up or not.so i wasn’t mad or holding anything against her for that.
but what throws me off is... she can ignore my calls, but i miss two calls while literally asleep, and suddenly i should “fuck off” and get blocked everywhere??

okay, even if it was because she was worried after i didn’t respond for like 17 hours, who tf blocks like that without even asking what happened? what if something actually HAD happened to me?

and even if she thought i was just ignoring her, this is the same girl who ghosts me like it’s a random tuesday whenever she feels pressured or overwhelmed — she just disappears. sometimes for hours, sometimes days, even a week. even though it used to make me anxious as hell at first, now i’m just used to it.

i’ve always tried to be understanding because i know she has a disorganized attachment style. but little does she know i have the same attachment style too??

the difference is, i don’t treat it like a fixed personality trait like she does. i actually try to work on it. most of the time i force myself to act more secure, and even if i slip into my anxious side sometimes, i still try my BEST not to show my avoidant side, because i know if both of us start acting like that, this relationship is not going to go anywhere and life will just become shit.

why am i doing all this? because i’ve seen progress from her too.
even though it’s 'very slow' its still impressive. maybe she doesn’t have the same willpower as me, but i was still satisfied overall with her progress.
but when moments like this happen, it really makes me question if there was any real progress at all??

the amount of disrespect i’ve felt these past few days is insane, that the only thing on my mind has been to break up and end this completely.

but at the same time, i still feel like it was partly my fault for not explaining things properly. i know just saying “i was sleeping” might’ve sounded lazy or like an excuse, but how was i supposed to send a proper explanation right after waking up from a 20-hour crash, feeling like i was dying, with a headache, fast heartbeat, and dizziness? even with all that, i still managed to text her.

and that guilt of not explaining things properly is honestly the only reason i haven’t broken up yet.

but still… who the hell even blocks like this for something like this? im sure she didn't even blocked her ex male friend who turned out to obsessive stalker like she did me. we’re in long distance right now. how are we even supposed to communicate if she blocks me everywhere for reasons liek this?

so because of that guilt, i reached out to her through an instagram account i had that was deactivated before, so she didn’t get the chance to block me there. i explained everything, but she still kept blaming me and didn’t take any accountability at all. that conversation didn’t end well either, but at least i explained my side.

its been :

* 3 days since that conversation on intagram happend.
* a week since i’ve been blocked
* over 20 days since we’ve talked properly
* and she still hasn’t apologized for this or even for the issue before this, where she pissed me off badly ( which led to us not talking before this happened.)

my mind is screaming at me to break up, but i’m also scared that it might be a dumb decision because i’m in a very emotional state right now and not thinking clearly. on top of that, i’ve already been mildly depressed for weeks.

either way, one thing i’m sure about is i don’t want to be with someone who can’t take accountability.

so i’m giving her a few more days.
if nothing changes, i think i already know what i have to do.

i want to know am i overreacting.

TL;DR: I missed two of my girlfriend’s calls because I was asleep for ~20 hours after being severely sleep deprived. She told me to “fuck off” and blocked me everywhere.

The same person has ignored my calls multiple times before when I needed her, and I never made it an issue.

I tried explaining later, but she kept blaming me and hasn’t apologized at all. It’s been a week of being blocked and weeks of poor communication overall.

I feel disrespected