u/roritha

I workout at home and will often do my first set, then go off and do something for maybe 5 mins until I feel fully recovered and then go again, and repeat. But I see lots of people saying the ideal rest time is closer to 1 minute. Am I hurting my progress by doing this?

When I wait longer like this, I can do pretty much the same # of reps each set or maybe even increase by the end. If I only wait 1 minute my # of reps til failure decreases pretty rapidly… But maybe that’s still the ideal way to do it?

I would appreciate advice but also explanation as to why one way is better than the other (or not)!

My dance instructor once pointed this out to me in high school and I always come back to her comment: "I only ever see you practicing things you're already good at". And she is so right. I was a naturally gifted jumper, but not great at pirouettes/turns. I hardly ever practiced my turns outside of when we were forced to in class. I guess I just felt that my efforts were not worth it, and a little embarrassed. I would try so hard just to make incremental progress. Might as well focus on what I'm good at. After many years of this, I was really outstanding at some things, and really shockingly bad at other things, rather than being a well-rounded dancer.

This applies to many areas of my life I think. In my work and school, I only feel very motivated and really enjoy doing things that I'm already good at and have always been pretty good at. The problem is that when you are learning and moving on and up in your career, you are constantly challenging yourself, so you don't often get to engage in many of those things you're "already good at". So I feel a little miserable all the time...

It feels like there's this conflict between my potential and my natural tendencies. I know that I can progress and climb high... at least I like to think that about myself, because people have always said that and I've done it so far, I guess. At the same time, I feel like I'm one of those people that would rather be the biggest, brightest fish in a small pond than a smaller, duller than average fish in the big ocean, even if I am really the same size and brightness regardless of where I am. However I know that moving to progressively bigger metaphorical ponds is what will help me grow biggest in the long run.

How do you fix this mindset? Maybe my problem is that I'm not very good at growing/making progress, and need to discover more effective strategies that will feel more worthwhile?

Is it that hard to send a boiler plate rejection notice via email? People are trying to plan their lives… They want to know what’s going on. This should not be so normalized.

All the other postdoc positions I've applied to just ask for a CV, cover letter, and references. This one also asks for a "brief statement of research interests". I drafted a few short paragraphs, just under 200 words, but I honestly have no idea what is expected here. I talked about my interest in the particular methods and tools their lab has to offer, showing how I envision my interests (which are demonstrated in my prior research) connecting to these things. How long do you think a "brief" research interest statement be?

My favorite lip is clinique’s black honey, then I take a tinyyy bit of any brown mascara on a qtip and mix that into the lip color. I would love suggestions for a brown lip liner that would serve this purpose so I don’t have to be weird carrying around mascara and a qtip lol.. I’d like something softer, like literally a soft texture, for easy blending. I don’t actually want to line with it.

If it helps, I have very fair skin, med-dark auburn hair. My skin is pretty neutral toned, and I’ve found I look best with muted berry cheeks and lips (Eve cloud paint, black honey) and use a cool taupe eyebrow pencil for contour (bronze just doesn’t look right).

I'm applying for postdocs and want to be sure my CV is as expected. I understand the basic sections expected but it gets a little messy when my teaching, development, and research experience overlaps, projects span multiple positions, projects when I was briefly unfunded (no position) and no publications on them yet etc. I have a few specific questions:

1. I only have 4 publications and 4 conference proceedings. Yet my CV is 4 whole pages in 11pt font. Is this excessive?
2. Should conference proceedings go with publications? They are peer reviewed but a less rigorous process. I would think to put them under a subheading to distinguish between the two if so.
3. What should the conferences/presentations section look like? Someone told me it should not be Name of Conference, date, title of talk, and should instead be formatted like a citation even if there is no paper or anything available online. If so, is that format appropriate for invited talks at smaller, internal events? Another person said to just list the conference name and date, not the title of my presentation/poster.
4. For teaching that was part of a research position already listed or volunteer with no official title, how should it be formatted? Or should everything just be integrated into categories like Research Positions, Work Experience and not try to separate out the types of work/roles beyond that?

Here's how I have it formatted:

Education

• Type, Field, Specialization/Distinction, dates
  • Institution
  • Advisor

Research Positions & Projects

• Position title (if during an unfunded period, I just have a descriptive title with (volunteer))., dates (if repeated, e.g., 08/2024-05/2025, 08/2025-05/2026... but maybe simpler to write AY 24-25, Summer 2025 etc.?)
  • Institution, department
  • Short title of each project I worked on (primarily) in that position: Short description of my contributions e.g., "Contributed to data collection..."

Publications

• Peer-reviewed journal article citations, with my name bolded

Manuscripts in Preparation subheading

• Same formatting but indicates "in preparation". Only for those about to be submitted.

Presentations & Proceedings

• Conference/Event Name, dates (if repeated, e.g., 02/2023, 2024)
  • If no proceedings, "Name of Poster or Presentation" (Year if presented multiple years)
  • If proceedings, paste the citation

Technical Skills

• Category (e.g., programming languages, software)
  • Name of tool or skill

Development and Design Experience

• Position title, dates
  • Institution/organization
  • Description

Teaching Experience

• Position title OR descriptive title if it was part of a research position listed above. Some were volunteer and did not have an official title, so just descriptive title for that too. And dates
  • Organization/location/institution
  • Short description

Organizations

• Org name (institution if applicable, e.g., for student orgs), Member since Year
  • Leadership position with dates, description if applicable

TLDR: I chose a dissertation project that is really important to me but quite ambitious/more difficult than I needed to. I could defend with what I’ve done so far, and some people are telling me I should do that or should ask my committee about it. There are some disadvantages to graduating later (fewer positions open) but I don’t want to give up. Is the saying in the title really true in your opinion?

I’m a PhD candidate in a social sciences field. Many people in my field complete their dissertation fairly quickly, within 6-9 months of committee and IRB approval. I’ve even seen someone pull a dissertation together in one semester.

I’ve been set on my dissertation topic for a few years now. It was a need/gap I noticed early on and genuinely want to be filled for the sake of my own future work in this subfield. It is a BIG task though. There are 5 phases of data collection. I’m coordinating between over a dozen different recruitment sites and trying to get hundreds of participants who are minors. I had planned to finish in 1 calendar year but just decided I’ll probably extend to about 1.5 calendar years (defending in December) due to some issues that are critical but solvable with more time.

As I’ve been talking to faculty (not my committee) and students about my project and the current state of it and all the issues I’ve run into, I keep hearing “the best dissertation is a done dissertation.” This one faculty who’s familiar with my project kept saying things like “you’ve done a lot” “have you considered just graduating with what you have?” “don’t you think this is enough?” I definitely understand this idea and I do think I could defend with what I have and say the remainder is “future work”. But at the same time, I really want to do this project, not just graduate, it feels like they’re telling me to give up and be less ambitious.

I think I really want to finish it, but there are disadvantages to graduating in the winter (fewer postdoc positions open) and there is no guarantee that it’ll turn out exactly the way I want even with extra time. I also don’t have a TA/RA position lined up for fall because I wasn’t planning on being here (I can afford one self-funded semester but it’s not ideal). I don’t have a job lined up either but am applying to things that start in fall and just saying my timeline is uncertain. I want to finish because I’m genuinely invested in the project and I guess I feel a little insecure about my prior research, so I want something more impressive in my portfolio. Not to mention that I would just feel a bit disappointed.

Do you think the saying is true?

I’ve had multiple people tell me, unprompted, that they can never tell that I’m tipsy/drunk/high and I act exactly the same as usual. I have some friends who act quite different, doing things or saying things they’d never usually do/say, after just a couple drinks in comparison.

Truth is I’m a lightweight and my theory is that I’ve just gotten so good at masking that I can even mask intoxication really well. I think this is pretty true… I feel like I’m always subconsciously trying SO hard to act extremely normal and nonchalant. I honestly don’t know how to turn it off. Unless I’m like blackout (which is like never since college, thank god) I’m able to keep it very in control. It feels like everything I say and do goes through like 10 filters normally, so maybe when I’m intoxicated 3 of those fail… but that’s still plenty to be very controlled. It just made me realize how strong this wall is that I’ve built up. Not really in a good way… But I guess this is one “benefit” that comes in handy from time to time…

I was wondering if anyone else had this experience or feel like they are this way? Has masking shown up in unexpected places for you?

I miss my old ipods, I had a shuffle, nano, and touch. I have some of my old ones but they either don’t turn on or only work when plugged in. I was thinking of buying a new one, thinking it’ll help me stay off my phone, so my phone can just be a phone (plus the basics like camera, calculator, web browser, notepad, but no socials or games). The iPod will be for fun things, like music, games, maybe social media if it was a touch? But then I really think about it and wonder if I’d even be able to download many apps or if it’s not really supported anymore. And I did like iTunes but I also like not having to buy each song/album. Any advice? What’s your reason for using an iPod? What issues have you encountered? Is it worth it for you?

I hate fresh mango, but I love dried mango and anything mango flavored. Something about the texture is almost chalky to me.

I know some people like marinara but hate tomatoes, etc…

Whyyy do people do this. Don't make me ask again. I feel like a mom talking to her child. Did you not read the whole email? Do you think the other questions don't matter or I was just asking for fun? I need to know the answer to do my job properly.

Also, I understand if you don’t have the answer to one of the questions yet. but just say that please!! “I’ll get back to you about that” is all you need to do.

On the other side of this, I love when people copy paste your exact quoted questions and give a clear response beneath each one.

Also, I will say I work with a lot of otherwise “smart” people. These are usually faculty, not students. I think it’s more like subtle entitlement or superiority than stupidity

If you’re comfortable with that in your own home that’s fine. But I did not consent to have a stranger hear me pissing today. OR a stranger watching me walk out of the stall in the background of your FaceTime… this is a public restroom not a conference room. maybe that’s just me though