u/shenanigan9611

​Hi everyone,

​Looking for some perspective from people who’ve navigated long-distance or high-cost relocation early in dating.

​I (29M) met an incredible girl (27F) a few weeks ago in Melbourne. We’ve been seeing each other for about 2–3 weeks, and the connection is fantastic, she’s honestly one of the coolest people I’ve met while dating, and we have a blast together.

​The catch: I’m moving to Broome, Western Australia for work commitments for at least 12 months

​We discussed what happens next. She’s very optimistic and eager to give long-distance a try, suggesting we could aim to see each other maybe once a month. I appreciate her positive attitude but I'm on the fence and naturally pretty reluctant about long distance.

​Flights between Melbourne and Broome are around $1,000–$1,200 round trip, which adds up quickly.

​ My workload in Broome is going to be intense, and I won't have the flexibility to fly back and forth constantly.

When I’m deep in work mode, I’m worried the distance and lack of regular face time will start to weigh heavily on me and become overwhelming.

​I like her and hate that the timing is so bad, but I want to be realistic about whether an LDR of this magnitude is feasible for a brand new dating scenario.

​Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would you give it a shot, or is it better to cut ties early before things get more complicated? Appreciate any thoughts or advice.

​Hey everyone,

​I’m a 29M dating a 28F. Long story short: she is still close friends with her ex, his sister, and his broader family.

​I’m really not comfortable with this setup. When I brought it up, her reasoning was that he’s engaged now and that she cheated on him when she was 18 so she never really liked him that much, so it shouldn't be an issue. For me its not about his marital status its broader and nuanced, if you know you know.

I just don't like the idea of my partner hanging out at events and family gatherings with her ex. It makes me feel uneasy, and to be honest, I don't know if I can stomach this long-term.

​I know there are guys who would be completely fine with this and fellas more power to you and I’m not trying to fault her or make her out to be the bad guy. I just don't know how to feel about it. I know some of you are friends if not best friends with your exes while maintaining relationships. I can admire your partners ability to compartmentalise your relationship with your exes. But I dont think I can do this.

​How do I go about handling this?

​

Hi everyone

I just settled on my 3rd property. I have no emotions, just saw the Pexa and Solicitor confirmation. I have no one to share the news. Im single. No friends, I have no family either.

I was hoping to share this with someone. Hope everyone having a beautiful day today.

Hey Fellas,

Hope everyone's having a swell weekend

I’m a 29M trying to figure out how to navigate a situation.

To keep a long story short and non-sappy: my dad was a violently aggressive alcoholic. Growing up, he routinely beat both my mum and me for sport. Blood, fear, hospitals, ambos, police were the common weekly themes of my childhood until I was about 17. We no longer live together, but he’s still a piece of work and is essentially drinking himself into an early grave, although we've been thinking that for now 30 years , yet hes alive.

He’s 60 and still works, but his health and trajectory are bad.

I’ve made peace with what he did to us. However, knowing he might kick the bucket soonish, I asked him a few weeks ago if he had any regrets about how things went down. His response was a simple, "Not at all."

That answer got me thinking, and I want to make sure I don't walk away from this chapter of my life with any lingering regrets of my own once he’s gone.

For those of you who grew up with abusive dads

Did you have any final, important conversations before they passed? Is there anything you wish you had asked or said to them while you had the chance?

If you called them out or gave them an earful, did it bring you any peace? Or was it better to just let it go and let them die believing they did nothing wrong?

I’m just trying to figure out what (if anything) is worth saying at this point, or if closure is something I have to give myself rather than expect from him.

Appreciate any advice or shared experiences.

​Hey everyone,

29 M, single, actively dating.

​Financials: Work in healthcare (top 5% tax bracket). Built a $2.8M net worth across real estate, businesses, and ETFs.

​Current Structure: In the process of setting up/transferring assets into a discretionary family trust for long-term tax and asset protection, but I know a trust alone isn't a silver bullet when it comes to long-term partner/marital law.

​I worked incredibly hard for what I have through years of heavy personal sacrifice, so protecting what I built prior to a long-term relationship is a major priority for me.

​recent situation:

I’ve been going out with a great girl for a handful of dates. She’s hardworking, employed full-time making $85k, and completely self-sufficient, so I have immense respect for her drive and independence.

​Recently, the topic of prenups came up naturally as a hypothetical discussion. Her reaction was quite negative; she felt that even bringing up a prenup was a major "red flag" and implied a lack of trust ("You think I'm going to steal your money, I have my own career and make my own money").

​For those who entered a long-term relationship or marriage with significant pre-marital assets, what structures (trusts, prenups) actually worked best for you?

​

​Would really appreciate hearing everyone here handle the balance between protecting what you’ve built and what strategies should one think about and also how you went on to building a trusting partnership as a high NW individual. Thanks

[removed]

30M

​Is it just me, or has knowing Taylor Swift's music become an actual requirement on dating apps?

​I keep seeing Hinge prompts like:

​"A non-negotiable for me is not knowing a Taylor Swift song"

​"One thing I'd love to know is your favorite Taylor Swift song"

​"Let's make sure we're on the same page about Taylor Swift"

​"A red flag is not knowing Taylor Swift songs"

​What’s with the incessant need to force specific music down people’s throats? Why is it a problem if someone listens to something totally different, like reggae, country, Shakira, or Rihanna instead? Why is it a probelm if i never listen to Taylor swift?

​To anyone who actually feels strongly about this: why is it such an issue if a guy just doesn't listen to Taylor Swift?

​

Hey all,

I know this topic can be a bit sensitive, but I’m genuinely looking for some perspective here and would love to hear your thoughts.

A bit of context: I’m a 29M and do pretty well on Hinge (getting around 40-50 likes a day). However, my goal isn't just dating around, I'm intentionally looking for someone to build a family with. Having kids is a absolute non-negotiable for me, and ideally, I’d love to have at least three (wife willing)

After taking some time off from dating, I’ve recently adjusted my age bracket to search a bit younger (around 21–28) In my experience dating women around my age or older, many who want kids prefer to wait another 4–5 years before starting. That puts them in their mid-to-late 30s. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that timeline, my personal goal is to start a family a bit sooner , maybe after 1.5–3 years of building a solid foundation with the right partner.

Because I want multiple children and so I'm mindful of the fact that conceiving and bearing can be alot harder as you get older, so starting a bit earlier feels like the safer, more realistic path for the larger family I hope to have.

Lately, it feels like many women in their late 20s or 30s are either on the fence about children or prefer a longer delay, whereas some of the younger women I've spoken to seem clearer and more enthusiastic about family life in the near-to-mid future.

Everyone is entitled to their own timeline and lifestyle choices and I completely respect that. But when it comes to my own future, I’m trying to be intentional about finding someone whose long-term goals and timing match mine.

My question for the women here is: Is it unreasonable or am I being unfair by prioritizing a younger age range for these reasons? I'd appreciate your honest feedback.

For men, im genuinely curious how many of you want kids and how you're thinking about this?

​I get around 50 matches a day, and my usual strategy within the first two messages is to ask the girl out and grab her number to get off the app.

​About 1 in every 100 matches, I’ll get a response like:

"Sorry, I’m not comfortable sharing my number, do you have Instagram instead?"

​Here’s my dilemma: I deleted all social media 10 years ago and love it. I’d never go back. But beyond that, I’m genuinely baffled by the security logic here.

​On your IG, I could potentially figure out your regular coffee spot, where you hang out, who your friends are, and where you’ve been recently. A phone number, on the other hand, is literally just 10 blank digits.

​To the 99% of ladies who share their number: What makes you comfortable handing over 10 digits to a match and why aren't you worried ?

​To the 1% who stick to IG: What’s the main concern with sharing a phone number, given that an IG profile reveals way more personal details (friends, favorite spots, recent activity)?

I’m a 29M and while I’m fortunate to get around 30-40 matches on the app, it’s actually led to a bit of a strange roadblock lately.

​I often find myself in a tough spot because it feels like a lot of the initial interest I get is purely surface-level. I don't mean to sound arrogant at all, but things tend to move very fast for shallow reasons, and it makes it hard to build something real. I’ve even had experiences where women who explicitly wrote "don't want kids" on their profile suddenly change their answers when talking to me or I get the vibe that I'm being looked at more as a status symbol to show off rather than a person. It’s a strange thing to admit, but it can feel a bit objectifying and makes it feel like people aren't being totally authentic with me.

​I just came back from a really nice date with a girl who is absolutely perfect on paper. We share the exact same outlook on life, she has great family values, wants kids, isn't heavily political and is incredibly chill and easy to hang out with. The issue is, I’m just not feeling that physical attraction. She’s definitely pretty but for some reason I just dont feel attracted to her and I feel shit about this.

​This really bothers me because I feel like I'm caught in a loop. When I date people where the physical attraction is incredibly high. We don't see eye to eye on the future and I could never realistically picture them as a long term partner or the mother of my children.

​I'm starting to think I need to take a step back and look at my approach. I definitely don't have all the answers, and I'm far from perfect, but despite dating a fair bit, it’s been really difficult to find that middle ground. Ultimately, my goal is just to find a connection that balances a strong physical attraction with values aligned.

​Has anyone else dealt with this kind of disconnect? How do you handle navigating the balance between physical chemistry and long term compatibility without compromising on either?

​Hi all,

​I'm a 29M experiencing a bit of a shift in my dating life. I get about 20 likes a day. Roughly half of them include a comment on a photo (which I always reply to because I appreciate the effort!), while the other half are just standard likes.

​Out of the standard likes, about 50% of the women will initiate the conversation after we match. I've noticed that I tend to have much better conversations and connections with the women who take that first step. Because of this, I've stopped messaging first on matches where the other person hasn't initiated.

​Back in my early 20s, I used to initiate every single conversation without hesitation, so this is a pretty new dynamic for me, tides have changed.

​I'm genuinely curious, especially for the women here, when you like a man's profile, what goes into your decision on whether or not to send the first message?

And for the men, Do you find you have more success nowadays when you hold back and let them initiate, or do you still get better results when you like and message first?

​

Hey all,

I’m getting back into the dating scene and trying to curate my real life filters a bit better this time so I'm not wasting anyone's time.

For context, I’m a 29M. My main non-negotiables are wanting kids (ideally not late into 30s), no doctors (since I am one and prefer to leave work at work), and no vegans just because of the restaurant logistics. I also prefer standard modern lifestyles over the "all-natural" vibe, I like standard comforts too much like deodorant and new clothes and shoes. Im also trying to steer clear of any intense activism, I like to support people but not at the cost of degrading others or "picking" sides just for the trend.

The biggest one for me though is politics. I really want to avoid anyone who bases their entire identity/personality on a political party. Personally, I see good policies on both sides and consider myself pretty centrist and rationale.

I’m just looking for someone who can talk about things normally without it being their whole personality, and who can see the viewpoint of someone else even if they don't necessarily agree with it.

​I know this cuts the pool down a lot. For those who have tightened their filters like this, is it realistic to find people with this kind of middle-of-the-road mindset these days, or am I just being too picky?

Cheers

Edit im not American, I am Aussie.

Hey all (29M)

Deleting the apps today. Spent the last 16 months on them, gave it good crack at trying to find the other half, at the end she just wasnt there.

​Hinge: 633 matches (likes + swipes) > 196 phone numbers >100+ dates (lost count)

​Tinder: 85 matches (likes only)> 20 phone numbers > 5 dates

​Bumble: 30 matches (likes + swipes)> 7 phone numbers > 1.5 dates (don't ask about the 0.5)

​The Grand Total: 725 matches > 223 phone numbers > 106.5 dates = Still Single.

​My "Exit Interview" Reflections

​What I’ve ultimately figured out is that for me, the apps just didn't work.

​But looking back, I’m actually really grateful. I had some genuinely beautiful interactions with great people. I learned a hell of a lot about myself, got a crystal-clear picture of what I do want in a partner, and an equally vivid, picture of what I absolutely don't want.

​It was a fun and exhausting ride, but at the end of the day, it was unsuccessful.

So, that’s me done with the app scene. I’m pulling the pin and deleting the profiles. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how to actually meet people in real life these days, but fingers crossed I figure it out.

​Wish me luck and hope everyone's having a good weekend!

Hey everyone

​

Allow me to give some context about me. I’m 29M from Australia, 5ft8 (a dwarf by today’s standards), and I’m not a model, but I do alright myself. I work as a sports doc, live in my own crib, and have a 2.5kg dog. I don’t have any friends, nor have I ever had any form of social media, apart from FB messenger for the last 10 years, i download reddit if i have a question but otherwise im not on here either. My life has mostly been about working on my goals, meditating, reading, hitting the gym, living healthy, and trying to learn things I don’t know. There is a lot I don’t know, so I haven’t really had the need for a massive social life, it’s just been me, my goals, and my exes for most of my adult life.

The con of this life is that I have to be online to find someone. I’ve been on Hinge for about 16 months now. I stopped going on dates 3 months ago, and I’ll explain why. Prior to that, I was going on 4-5 dates some weeks on weekdays and sometimes 2-3 on the weekends. It wasn't every week, but there wasn't a week I didn't go on a date. Believe it or not, my mindset at the beginning was very intentional I didn't want to mess around. I wanted to meet as many women as I could to find my person as quickly as possible, and I thought if I saw as many people as possible, my chances would be higher at finding the one. I was wrong, so don’t @ me for dating that much, I’m well aware that was too much in hindsight. I’d got around 10 matches a day, so I’ve gone on my fair share. Also most dates didn't go past 1-2 dates as 90% of the time i just didn't want to waste their time as I just didnt think our core values aligned hence i moved on quick.

I’m essentially a caveman. I’m not very smart with social media stuff and I’m pretty under the radar regarding trends or what’s new. I watch movies and TV series, but that’s about it. I’m also not very sound with the acceptable norms of language and buzz words today (though I’m learning, since I’ve been indoctrinated by dates into the news). So, I’m not very "socially smart" at all, but dating changed that heaps.

I’ve met some beautiful, kind souls and was lucky to see so many different people with different thoughts and beliefs. It was fun.....for short while. Then, things started to get a bit aggravating. Most people I met wanted to talk to me about red flags, icks, social media, what to say and what not to say, and how men are these days and there was just a general anger in that i felt.

Most women (and again, each to their own, choice is important) did not want kids, but I do. Some who wanted kids didn’t want them until they were 35+ and some badly wanted to be mothers wanted nothing to do with pregnancy. Some just cared too much about my job and what ive got and some didn’t care about anything or ask me any questions, just kept talking yet wanted 2nd and 3rd dates. Some dates, all I did was listen, I’d know their entire life story, and they’d go home and say, "When do you want to see me again," like they didn't even ask if I work or if I like pineapple on pizza, even though they seemed to have had a good time.

Then, some just wanted to tell me how much they hate their parents because they support certain people (the same parents who fed, bathed, and wiped their butts as a kid). Some hated their parents for not allowing them boyfriends until they were 18, or for being Christian. There just seemed to be so much sadness and anger in people's hearts, which made the dates not very pleasing.

Some said they'd feel better if I was bisexual, I didn’t really understand why. Some asked if I’d be okay with having trans kids and male breastfeeding. One girl actually showed me a video of an "empathy kit" that makes a man lactate after injections. Some had different practices of raising kids such as no schooling or home schooling in the mountains where they would learn hands on skills (real example) , some wanted to partner whod be okay living next to their parents, some wanted me to stop wearing deodorant and buying new clothes from the shop and shamed me for buying none second hand items. Some said to me im not well explored because i haven't taken DMT , acid or drugs. Some said "i cant trust a man without social media", Some came on the date just to quiz me on my opinions of women, they had a questionnaire set up for me on my beliefs about women and feminism. I support women's causes and want what’s best for my future daughter, but the tone was very attacking, not polite , didn't feel like i was given the opportunity or time to express who i am , instead it was more about "show me that you're not...." .

Some asked if I was okay with OnlyFans, and if I wasn't, I’d have to explain in a thesis-like manner why I don’t want that in a partner, only to find out any answer I gave would be wrong anyway and the only correct answer was to be okay with it.

Again this is my experience as a guy and im quite certain the opposite is true for the ladies when dating men. Not trying to throw shade just trying to express my experience is all.

There were absolutely amazing women (even though our values didnt align) I met along the way, and I’m so lucky to have shared time with them and learned so much. But all the negative dates really put me off.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to find someone without being on social media and dating networks. I don’t want to be the "weird guy alone in a bar" that’s not me. I just feel stuck. Now I feel like I have to go back on Hinge, and I don’t want to, but how else am I going to do this? I’m scared to post this because I see how brutal Reddit can be. I feel like the online dating world is totally disconnected from the real world but what other choice do I have...

If you have any positive advice, I’m all ears and I want to listen.

​

Hi all

​I’m 29M and looking to see how to give back to the community.

​I frequently see food trucks or groups handing out food to people in need near the Queen Victoria Market, and I’d love to get involved.

I want to know if theres a specific organization I can partner with or pay to help fund a food truck/meal service run?

​

​I’m a single guy without any friends or family here to help me organize something like this from scratch, so I’m really looking for an established group or charity where I can just offer my funding. I’m just not sure where to start or who runs the operations near the market.

​Any recommendations, charity names, or points of contact would be massively appreciated.

​P.S. If anyone reading this is going through a tough time and needs a hand with anything at all, please feel free to drop me a DM. Always happy to help where I can.

Hey Reddit

I’m a 29M subcontractor physio in Melbourne, clearing $17.5k–$20k a month ($210k–$240k/year). Financially it’s great, and I love my clinical work with patients, but the workplace culture is toxic.

​The owner micromanages over 100 staff with constant, harsh criticism and absolutely no positive reinforcement. Despite our high performance, the team is constantly walking on eggshells due to an obsessive focus on flawless administration and treatment decisions. It’s reached a point where I dread checking my emails and experience genuine anxiety daily. Aside from patient outcomes, my job satisfaction is at zero due to this management style.

This morning I got yet another micromanaging email.

I just had enough so I went on Seek(job search website in Aus) straight away and applied for a job, and within the hour I got a call.

The issue is that the new job in the Northern Territory

(For non-australians NT = rural/outback/dead country) for $150,000 to $170,000, ill probably be making at the top end, It's less stressful, but moving would be a big change, mortgage in Melbourne , an investment property, a teenage brother living with me whos 19 and i think im a good influence on him and want to be close to him to support him, and i have a dog.

I also love Melbourne's liveliness,culture, food, events etc

Another detail is that no other physio jobs pays what I'm getting right now, most max out at $150k and need 10 years experience. Hence why im entertaining jobs in NT.

Im really unsure what to do,

Has anyone made this kind of move or faced similar career decisions? Any advice would be really, really appreciated.

​PS: i get that high-paying jobs come with a lot of stress, but you wouldn't believe some of the things we get told to do here. A small example, we are strictly forced to eat inside the lunchroom. We aren't allowed to leave the clinic to buy food and eat out and miss "lunch time in lunch room" , and we aren't even allowed to sit on the bench right outside the clinic to eat our lunch in the sun, we arent allowed to go for a walk during lunch or to sit outside to destress. There has been turnover of clinicians like crazy, 5 in the last 1.5 years in the role i am in, no one serving longer than 12 months. And i am completing my 12th month currently.

Gday folks

After holding on to my XRP for nearly 5 years. I've decided to let go and sell my bags for a good amount of 💰 a few days ago.

I learned a good lesson in 2017 when XVG shot up, take the money you never had and run when you have the chance.

For people that are wanting to be millionaires and have financial freedom.

I have 1 piece of advice...... (don't listen to me because I'm just some guy on Reddit) ETF's.

Sorry I've sold , but ive been doing this thing for a long time and I know how this works.

Hope I made the wrong move for your sakes.