u/showe12

先叠个甲，我是中国人，在国外上大学。最近发生的事，让我有了这种思考，就是感觉中国的老师都是很 condescending，就是很压着人，就跟中国老师不存在平等对话。

上周发生了一个很奇怪的事，就是我在国外图书馆学习，有个保安来查我学生证，然后我没带，然后就各种为难我，我朋友都说那个保安有问题，让我给学校发邮件举报那个保安。但是我一想太麻烦，也算了吧但是这件事情引发了我在国内之前的回忆，如果这件事发生在国内的话，一点事也没有，因为国内教导主任什么的，就那种样子，喜欢给你甩脸子。

而且我发现国内，不管是小学、初中，甚至是大学，就按说大学都是成年人了，应该是平等对待。但是他大学的教导主任也是给你甩脸子，就一副高高在上的样子。 国内大学是在某些方面把你当成年人对待，但是在有些管理啊什么的，也是就是搞初中高中那一套，我记得我上学时候，那个教导主任那个给他威风的呀。比如说你正常在那，然后他直接就是特别没礼的说：诶诶诶，那个男生，说你呢？你聋啊？过来，听不见呀？ 就是叫你都是这样叫你的。然后你对他还要卑躬屈膝的这种态度，感觉就是没有一个最起码的平等的态度，他永远是高高在上的。我不知道这是受儒家文化就是讲究尊卑影响还是什么，感觉就是老师都是这样的，我特别讨厌这种。，既然上大学，大家都是成年人，都是平等的交流，凭什么你摆一副臭脸子高高在上？

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Had a pretty weird experience at the library tonight and I’m genuinely not sure if I’m overthinking it or if the security guard was unnecessarily picking on me.

I’d been studying in the library basically all day. It’s a 24-hour library, but the doors are locked at night and you need your student card to get in. I already knew that, so I didn’t leave the building because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back in without my physical card.

At around 10pm I went to the toilet. Just as I was about to go in, a security guard came out and stopped me and started questioning me about where I’d been. I told him I’d been sitting at my desk studying, but my seat was quite far away from where he was. He then said he hadn’t seen me there before. He didn’t directly accuse me of lying, but the whole thing made me feel like I had to prove I was actually supposed to be there.

He asked for my student ID. I told him I didn’t have the physical card on me because I’d come in during the day and hadn’t expected to still be there that late. I showed him a photo of my student card on my phone, but he said that wasn’t acceptable and that it had to be the physical card.

I thought that was a bit strange because I’ve used the photo of my student ID for things like the university shuttle before, but fair enough.

I then offered to show him my student email, but apparently that still wasn’t enough. He made me log into StudentSync in front of him, then wrote down my name and student number.

After that, he asked me to take him to where I’d been sitting because he said he hadn’t seen me there. I showed him my desk, where my laptop and all my study stuff had clearly been sitting the whole time.

I also had a backpack and two shopping bags with me because I’d brought some cooking stuff to take to a friend living in student res. He then commented that my stuff was too messy and told me to put the things from the two bags into my backpack, which honestly confused me even more both shopping bags and my backpack were tucked under the desk by my feet, so they weren’t blocking the walkway or getting in anyone’s way.

Eventually he basically said something like I ’ll let it go this time, but next time you need to bring your physical student card, because technically once the library is locked at night, you’re not supposed to be there without one.

I completely understand the rule about needing a student card to enter after hours. What felt strange was how far the whole interaction went when I was already inside the library, had clearly been studying there, could show a photo of my student card, my university email, log into my student account, and then physically show him my desk with all my stuff there.

Maybe this is completely standard security procedure and I’m just reading too much into it. I’m curious whether this is normal procedure, or whether he was just picking on me and giving me a hard time for no real reason？

Can a non-native speaker ever truly reach a native-like level of English?

I recently met a 10-year-old American kid while gaming online, and talking to him genuinely blew my mind. I’ve been learning English for years, and I’ve always thought my English was pretty good. I’m fluent in everyday conversations and rarely have any real trouble communicating, but this kid made me realise just how insanely high the ceiling can be. What impressed me wasn’t simply the fact that he was a native speaker, but the sheer breadth of his knowledge and how naturally he could talk about all of it in English. We were talking about different countries at one point, and he started discussing geography and different types of climates, like continental and oceanic climates, with a level of detail that honestly reminded me of things I learned in middle school. The difference is that I learned a lot of those concepts through my first language, so even when I know exactly what something is, I sometimes have no idea how to talk about it properly in English. For him, those concepts already exist in English, so there’s no translation process involved. Then we somehow got onto social issues, and he casually explained that sex and gender are different and said that “gender is a social construct.” I was genuinely surprised that a 10-year-old even knew about concepts like that, let alone could talk about them so naturally. he seemed to know a ridiculous amount about all kinds of random subjects. His knowledge actually reminded me of a kid I knew when I was around his age, who was also unusually smart and seemed to know something about almost everything. It was that same kind of crazy breadth of knowledge that stood out to me. Obviously, I know this American kid isn’t representative of every native-speaking 10-year-old; he clearly seems unusually curious and knowledgeable for his age. Still, the whole experience changed the way I think about reaching a native-like level in a second language. As a non-native speaker, I can become fluent and communicate without much difficulty, but native speakers spend their entire childhood building knowledge through the language itself — geography, science, history, society, culture, random facts, everything. Meanwhile, there are so many things I already understand perfectly well in my first language but have never learned how to express in English. That gap suddenly felt enormous. At the same time, though, it was really motivating. It made me realise that if I want to keep improving, I probably need to go beyond just “learning English” and start learning about the world through English — reading about different subjects, watching things, having conversations, and gradually building that same kind of knowledge network directly in English. I don’t know if I’ll ever become completely indistinguishable from a native speaker, but somehow this 10-year-old kid has become one of the most unexpected English-learning role models I’ve ever had.

What is the difference between said and says? I know said is a past tense, and says is Present.

But even if I say present, it's already happened in the past.（If that makes sense.）

For example, he says it is a new game.

At the time he say it, isn't it the past?

So, I'm getting a little bit confused. when should I use said, and when should I use says/say ?

And for example, If my classmate did something wrong, should I say the teacher says you can't do that, or the teacher said you can't do that?

It is more like a snitch on someone scenario in primary school.

Also, I'm Also curious, is it proper to say the teacher in this case. Or is it better to clarify which teacher by calling the name like Miss Bla Bla?（If it is primary school?

As a non- native speaker How can I learn Scottish and Scots accents?

Hi everyone!

I'm from China, and I'm curious about how people address strangers in English.

In China (and many other Asian countries), it's very common to address strangers using family terms. For example, we might call an older man "uncle," an older woman "auntie," an elderly woman "grandma," or someone slightly older than us "older brother" or "older sister." These aren't literal family relationships—they're just polite or friendly ways to address people.

However, in English, I always thought words like grandma, grandpa, brother, and sister were only used for actual relatives.

But then I watched a video filmed at Dick's Last Resort, where the server greeted an elderly customer by saying, "What do you want to order, Grandma?" That made me wonder whether these family terms can also be used for strangers in English.

So I have a few questions:

Is it ever natural to call a stranger grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, uncle, or auntie?

If so, in what situations? Is it affectionate, humorous, or can it sound rude?

How do native English speakers usually address strangers of different age groups?

What's the most natural way to refer to an elderly person? For example, what's the difference between old person, older person, elderly person, senior, and elder? Which ones sound polite, and which ones should be avoided?

And another question, can I call my teacher Miss, if she is an old lady? Because I assume usually Miss refers to someone who's not married. And also, it is getting weird that I feel like If you call your teachers sir and miss As an adult, it is weird, is it actually weird for any university student to call the teacher Miss or Sir? I don't know why, but it's giving me a vibe that I feel like miss answer is only used for primary school students. And can I use Miss or Sir to call strangers in real life? I'd really appreciate any explanations about the cultural differences. Thanks!

Also, I find this really interesting, although it is usually not native to call people with the Term we use with relatives, but in English, we still have bro, which I assume is an abbreviation for a brother. And they are not your actually brother. You can call any people bro.

is ipad a general term or it only means apple's device for example i have a tablet that is not apple can i call it ipad or only tablet also，can i call it pad ? will pad be confusing because period pads also called pad ?

Social learners only！Serious learners only！

I'm a native Mandarin Chinese speaker currently living in Australia.

What I can offer

🇨🇳 Mandarin Chinese (native)

🇬🇧🇦🇺 English pronunciation coaching (British & Australian accents only)

I have a background in phonetics and have worked as an accent coach in China. Pronunciation is my strongest area. If you're struggling with English pronunciation, I can help you sound much more natural.

If you're a native English speaker learning Chinese, I'm also happy to help especially with Chinese pronunciation. For grammar or advanced language explanations, though, I'm just a native speaker rather than a trained Chinese teacher.

What I'm looking for：Native English speakers or

Advanced English speakers with strong grammar and vocabulary (roughly C1/C2 level)

My main goal is to improve my vocabulary, grammar, and.

I'm happy to teach pronunciation to non-native English speakers as well, as long as we can genuinely exchange skills and help each other improve.

Looking for people who are serious about language learning and willing to practice regularly.

I'm Chinese, born and raised in China, and I've been studying in Australia for about three years now.

Before coming here, I'd often see people online saying that overseas Chinese communities weren't very united. I never really understood what they meant. But after actually living in Australia for a few years, I've started to feel like there is some truth to it.

Obviously, I'm not saying this applies to every Chinese person overseas. I've met plenty of genuinely kind and supportive people. But I've also come across a surprising number of Chinese immigrants, particularly some older immigrants, who seem incredibly hostile towards other Chinese people. Sometimes it genuinely feels like they don't just refuse to help other Chinese people — they actively don't want to see them doing well.

I find this mindset really difficult to understand.

I've sometimes wondered whether there is a generational element to it. For example, whether some people who emigrated during earlier periods developed a very strong "every man for himself" mentality, or a kind of social-Darwinist outlook where they see other Chinese immigrants primarily as competition. That's just my own speculation, though, and I'm interested in hearing other explanations.

One thing that particularly confused me was seeing the political views of some Chinese Australians.

Australia has had politicians make extremely anti-multicultural and anti-Asian statements — for example, Pauline Hanson's infamous claim that Australia was being "swamped by Asians." She has also made comments about migrants speaking languages other than English at home.

What surprised me was seeing quite a few Chinese Australians online supporting this kind of rhetoric.

And there's another part of this that I find particularly ironic. In my experience, a lot of white Australians who were born and raised here don't even hold views that extreme. Many of the white people I know are perfectly comfortable with multiculturalism and strongly reject explicitly racist or white-supremacist rhetoric.

Likewise, I've met Asian Australians who grew up here who seem much more conscious of racism precisely because they know what it's like to grow up Asian in a Western country. They've experienced being treated differently because of their appearance or background, so they understand on a personal level what racist rhetoric can actually mean for minorities.

Yet some older Chinese immigrants I've encountered seem to go in almost the opposite direction. Despite being immigrants and ethnic minorities themselves, some are extremely enthusiastic about assimilation, monoculturalism and anti-multicultural politics. In the more extreme cases, I've even seen Chinese people defending rhetoric that I would consider white-supremacist or at least clearly based on the idea that Australia should remain culturally dominated by white Anglo-Australians.

That's the contradiction I genuinely can't wrap my head around.

I've argued with some of these people online before. I once basically said: "Even if you've become an Australian citizen, you're still visibly Asian. Why would you support white-supremacist ideas that could ultimately be directed against people who look like you?"

I also pointed out that even many of my white Australian friends don't think this way. Their response was basically that those people were just "woke leftists" who only pretended to care about minorities.

And that's what makes this so confusing to me. You'd expect someone who has personally experienced being an immigrant or a racial minority to understand why multiculturalism and protection from racial discrimination matter. But some of the strongest anti-multicultural opinions I've personally encountered have actually come from immigrants themselves.

I'm not saying Chinese Australians have to support a particular political party, agree with each other, or automatically support someone simply because they're also Chinese. Of course not. Nor am I saying that supporting stricter immigration policies automatically makes someone racist or a white supremacist.

What I'm specifically trying to understand is why some Chinese immigrants seem so attracted to strongly assimilationist or monocultural politics — and, in extreme cases, rhetoric that appears openly hostile towards their own ethnic group.

For Chinese people who have lived overseas for a long time, have you noticed this as well?

Is it generational? A desire to assimilate and prove that they're "one of the good immigrants"? Distancing themselves from newer Chinese immigrants? Political ideology? Class? Social Darwinism? Or is my perception being distorted by the fact that the loudest and most extreme people are also the most visible online?

Edit: And just to clarify what I mean, I don't think this is necessarily about China's political system or where these people came from politically. What I'm talking about is something I've noticed specifically among some overseas Chinese: an almost visceral dislike of other Chinese people and a strong desire to distance themselves from them.

They often frame this as "assimilation." And to be clear, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with assimilating to some extent when you move to another country. If you move to Australia or the US, of course you're going to adapt to the local culture, social norms and way of life.

What I find strange is what some of these people choose to assimilate into.

Rather than embracing the broader mainstream values that countries like Australia officially identify with — multiculturalism, tolerance, equality and openness — some seem to adopt the worldview of the most reactionary and ethnonationalist elements of society instead. It's almost like they've assimilated into the mindset of the stereotypical far-right redneck and then convinced themselves that this is what it means to become truly Australian or American.

In some extreme cases, they end up repeating rhetoric that sounds openly white-nationalist or white-supremacist: that the country should be culturally homogeneous, that multiculturalism has gone too far, or that minorities and immigrants are somehow undermining the country.

And there seems to be this strange psychological shift where, once they've lived there long enough, obtained permanent residency or become citizens, they start identifying completely with the majority group's perspective. When locals complain that "immigrants are taking our jobs" or "there are too many immigrants using our resources," some former immigrants will turn around and say exactly the same thing: "There are too many immigrants. They're taking our jobs."

And I'm sitting there thinking: weren't you literally an immigrant yourself?

Of course, becoming a citizen means the country is your country too. I'm not questioning that at all. What confuses me is the apparent need some people have to redefine themselves as part of an imagined cultural majority by distancing themselves from newer immigrants — particularly other Chinese people.

how to define a native accent or native accent ?

i found this topic really interesting. There are so many different english accent and different slang words for example many Americans can't understand some Aussie slang words and British slang words and also many Regional British accent is hard for Americans to understand but they are still defined as native accent. But a Singaporean accent is not considered as native accent although a lot of they growing up speaking English same as some Filipino and Indians. There accent still considered as foreign accent. Also the word usage they have there some grammar that is wrong but those expression are commonly used. But people presive it as non-native or mistake but many other native speaker also use phrase that aren't grammatical correct

Im an English learner. What my teacher always tell me is accent doesn't matter but pronunciation does matter as long as your accent doesn't affect intelligibility it is totally alright to have an accent.

So the difference between accent and pronunciation is intelligibility.

But for some native accent even if they are native speaker their accent are still hard to understand. Take an example of Scouse accent.

So in this sense why their accent it acceptable but my accent is not

It confuse me a lot whenever I want to open an account. Sometime it says register, sometimes it says sign up. Log in.Log on. What is the different between those?

Wo-men or we-men

Hi everyone,

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I’d like to ask something more specific about teaching English in a native English-speaking country.

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If someone is working as a primary school teacher or secondary school English teacher in a country like Australia, the UK, the US, Canada, or New Zealand, are they generally expected to sound like a native speaker?

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Or is it completely acceptable to teach English/literacy with a noticeable non-native accent, as long as the teacher speaks clearly and accurately?

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I’m asking because, as a teacher, you’re not just using English to communicate. You’re also modelling the language for native-speaking children, especially when it comes to reading aloud, pronunciation, spelling, phonics, vocabulary, grammar, and academic writing.

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So I’m wondering: if a teacher has a non-native accent, could that be seen as a problem in this kind of role? Or does it not really matter, as long as their English is fluent, clear, and professional?

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For context, I’m currently studying teaching, and in the future I may be teaching native English-speaking children. That’s why I’m thinking about whether I should actively try to sound as native-like as possible, or whether having a slight non-native accent is completely fine.

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I’ve also noticed that in many English-speaking countries, there are teachers from different linguistic backgrounds, including teachers with noticeable accents. So I’m curious how this is viewed in schools. Is a noticeable accent acceptable for an English/literacy teacher? Could it affect students’ pronunciation or language learning in any way, or is that concern exaggerated?

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I’d really appreciate honest answers, especially from teachers, school leaders, parents, or people who studied education.

Is it important for a non-native English learner to pursue a native accent in English?The more I studied English, the more I think it is like meaningful to pursue a native accent. I have learned english phonology By myself, But I still cannot say I can sound native. Now, I think it is worthwhile to learn and try to speak with a native accent, but don't try to presume be 100% native, cause it is nearly impossible for a non-native to be 100% native. And learning accents, like some technique, including connected speech, can actually help you speak fast. And as long as you speak clear, I don't think You really need to aim 100% native accent.