u/sillylilynunuu

⁠ • Current cards:
⁠(A) authorized user, bank of america, 8,000 limit, 2016
(B) authorized user, JPMCB, 11,000 limit, 2011

• FICO Score: 796

• ⁠Oldest account age: 15 years

• ⁠Income: i’m a student (19), so I only work part time. because of this, my yearly income fluctuates, so let’s just assume max of 20k. i’m not irresponsible and would never spend more than i can pay.

• ⁠Average monthly spend and categories:
⁠• ⁠dining $20
⁠• ⁠groceries: $0
⁠• ⁠gas: $0
⁠• ⁠travel: $0
⁠• ⁠other: $150 (shopping and investing)

• ⁠Open to Business Cards: No

• ⁠What's the purpose of your next card?
Cash back and Travel

• ⁠Do you have any cards you've been looking
I’m heavily considering the Robinhood Gold Credit card. If someone could advise for it/ against it please LMK!

• ⁠Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card?
general spending

Other: I spend a maximum of 200 a month. However, I do anticipate traveling later this year which is why I want something that gives good travel benefits. Estimated spending for travel is 500 (with family) and up to 5,000 (alone).

out of curiosity I asked the feminism sub if they hold any beliefs or partake in any actions that could be viewed as anti- feminist.

to start the conversation, i listed a few of my own. i was very intrigued by the comments. things like feeling compelled to wear makeup, shave, wear a bra solely to hide my nipples, or feeling uneasy about long-term financial dependence in a SAHM dynamic.

not only did a large majority of comments heavily disagree with the points i listed. many seemed to reinterpret my examples rather than engage with what I was actually saying. for example, when I said I feel like I have to wear makeup to be perceived as presentable, many responses focused on women who wear makeup for artistic expression or because they enjoy it. but that wasn’t the experience I described. likewise, when I mentioned bras, people responded with comfort or support reasons, even though I explicitly said I was referring to covering nipples because female nipples are socially sexualized. i have a smaller chest and even i have to wear a bra during physical activities, i wasn’t mentioning in those situations.

it felt like there was a kind of cognitive dissonance happening.

I honestly forgot about the whole notion of choice feminism and how many women subscribe to it and propagate it. commenters defined feminism primarily as the freedom for women to choose whatever they want. because of that framework, they immediately categorized makeup, shaving, SAHM arrangements, marriage, motherhood, etc. as feminist choices if a woman chooses them. it’s still so interesting to me that a lot of people genuinely believe these choices exist outside of a social, economical, and political context. as if any choice is free from patriarchal conditioning.

acknowledging social influence doesn’t mean women should give up agency. it just means choices don’t exist in a vacuum. we can choose something while also recognizing that our preferences were shaped by the society we grew up in. what surprised me was how many people seemed unwilling to entertain both ideas at once.

TL;DR: Made a post on feminism sub. I wasn’t saying women shouldn’t choose things like makeup, shaving, bras, marriage, motherhood, or being a SAHM. I was asking whether anyone believed in ideals that are generally viewed as anti-feminist. Many responses seemed to sidestep that question by focusing on whether women are allowed to make those choices. To me, there’s a difference between supporting a woman’s right to choose something and examining why that choice may feel desirable, expected, or necessary in the first place.

IMO everyone has some non-feminist things they believe in/ partake in.

I’m just curious if this is true for anyone else/ what they are.

Here are a few of mine:

- I always feel like I need to wear makeup whenever I go out

- Feeling like I must shave

-Feeling like I need to wear a bra/ cover my nipples

- Lowkey judge women who decide to be SAHM for a prolonged period (due to the financial dependency aspect, but I will never say anything to them)

- Also judge women for proposing (I think it’s solely because of the getting down on a knee/ no real rationale)

- Judge women who say their biggest dream/ aspiration in life is to be a mother/ wife (U will never hear men say this for a reason LOL, but i feel like it’s such an easy thing to accomplish in MOST cases)

Edit: I should have specified that for bras, many people don’t wear them because they’re physically necessary, but because they feel pressured to hide their nipples or avoid attention to their chest. I know many have to wear it or it’s physically uncomfortable. i didn’t mean it in that regard.

Also for makeup: to conform to conventional beauty standards and feeling forced to partake in it because of differences in treatment.

IMO everyone has some non-feminist things they believe in/ partake in.

I’m just curious if this is true for anyone else/ what they are.

Here are a few of mine:

- I always feel like I need to wear makeup whenever I go out or I won’t come across as presentable and therefore be treated more negatively.

- Feeling like I must shave or I will be judged

-Feeling like I need to wear a bra/ cover my nipples even if i don’t technically need it because it will draw attention to my chest.

- Lowkey judge women who decide to be SAHM for a prolonged period (due to the financial dependency aspect, but I will never say anything to them)

- Also judge women for proposing (I think it’s solely because of the getting down on a knee for a man/ no real rationale)

- Judge women who say their biggest dream/ aspiration in life is to be a mother/ wife (U will never hear men say this for a reason LOL, but i feel like it’s such an easy thing to accomplish in MOST cases)

I applied to transfer for Fall 2026 and was rejected from most schools, including my dream school, NYU Stern. I’m planning to apply again in this upcoming cycle (last chance 😔)

For those who were accepted to Stern or another highly selective transfer program:

- What do you think was the strongest part of your application? What do you think made you stand out?

- If you were rejected the first time, what specifically improved before you were admitted? (especially if you reapplied in the very next application cycle instead of waiting)

- Is taking the SAT worth it as a transfer applicant with 68–80 college credits, even at test-optional schools if it’s for a selective program?

- do you think community college students are at a disadvantage for certain programs like Stern?

Any advice would be appreciated even if it doesn’t directly answer any of the above questions.

I’ve been seriously considering lip filler, but there are a couple things holding me back.

First, it’s not permanent. If it lasted 3–5 years, I’d be fine with that, but six months? I’m not sure I can justify spending hundreds of dollars for results that fade that quickly.

Second, while my lips are obviously on the smaller side, I’m not sure filler would actually improve my overall appearance. Some people look amazing with lip filler, while on others it seems to throw off their facial harmony because it doesn’t suit their features. I’m having a hard time figuring out which category I’d fall into, and I don’t wanna accidentally make things even worse.

Has anyone with naturally small lips gotten filler and felt it genuinely improved their facial balance? Or did it end up making less of a difference than you expected? ALSO HOW LONG DOES IT ACTUALLY LAST?

I know this might sound like a silly question, but how do I actually start a workout journey if my goal is to get toned?

I can’t go to a gym for the foreseeable future, so I’m limited to what I have at home:
- Yoga mat
- Two 5 lb dumbbells
- Treadmill
- Ab wheel
- Resistance bands

Right now, I walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes at 3.5–4.0 mph. My heart rate usually gets up to around 140–180 bpm. After that, I do a 30-minute YouTube workout (Pilates, core, glutes, full body, etc.).

My problem is that I can barely keep up with the workouts. I’m very inflexible, so there are a lot of movements I can’t perform properly. My core is also extremely weak, and I struggle to hold many positions for more than 30 seconds before fail.

What’s confusing is that these are all labeled as beginner workouts, so I feel like I’m already doing the easiest options available. It’s making me wonder if I’m approaching fitness the wrong way.

For those who started out with very little strength, endurance, or flexibility, what did your routine look like in the beginning? Should I keep pushing through these workouts, modify them, focus on basic strength exercises first, or do something else entirely?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Some context: I’m 5’3, about 110 pounds give or take 3 lbs on a given day. i’ve hardly ever worked out in my life just normal day to day walking, used to play basketball a couple years ago. But minimal to no history with any of this which I think makes this harder. My goal is not necessarily weight loss but definition/ getting toned in the abdominal area.

Has anyone had success with a free calorie-tracking app?

My biggest struggle is tracking meals that I cook myself. 95% of the time I make dinner from scratch and use a bunch of different ingredients, I never know how to log it accurately. Most of these foods are ethnic too so they don’t appear on the app itself, or if they do there’s so much variance between how people make it. There are usually so many ingredients involved, and I often don’t know the exact portions of everything I used or the portion i’m eating.

Dinner is also my largest meal of the day, so being unable to track it makes calorie counting feel pretty pointless. I’ve tried several popular apps, but I always end up getting frustrated when it comes to logging homemade dinners and eventually give up.

How do you handle tracking meals you cook yourself? Are there any free apps or methods that make this easier?

i’ve been struggling with my curls for a couple of years now and I have no idea what’s wrong.

right after wash day, my hair looks great, it’s defined, minimal- to no frizz, looks moisturized. but within 1–3 hours after wearing it down, the definition disappears, it becomes extremely frizzy, and it honestly looks like I haven’t washed it in days.

i’ve tried everything:
- i always apply a curl gel on soaking wet hair
- tried so many different curly hair products from different brands
- hair oils for frizz control and shine
- leave-in conditioners
- pre-conditioning treatments
- diffusing or air drying
- different climates/weather conditions don’t make an improvement (unless it’s windy or rainy which makes it last even less)
- using a denman brush or finger coiling
- restyling my hair daily with a spray bottle
- wearing a bonnet to sleep or using satin pillowcases
+ many more

nothing seems to make a difference

at this point I’ve started wondering if it could be
something internal rather than product-related. i’ve had bloodwork done (including checking for deficiencies) and everything comes back normal.

has anyone dealt with curls that look great immediately after washing but lose all definition within a few hours? if so, what ended up being the cause?

for reference, I can barely wear my hair down because it becomes so frizzy and undefined so quickly. whenever I see other curly-haired people wearing their hair down all day or everyday, especially if they live in a city, I genuinely wonder how they do it—if I did that, my hair would be a frizzy mess within an hour.

any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: My curls look defined, healthy, and nearly frizz-free immediately after washing, but within 1–3 hours after wearing it down outside they become very frizzy and loose most of their definition. I’ve tried countless gels, oils, leave-ins, conditioning methods, diffusing, air drying, and different climates with no improvement. Bloodwork is normal. Has anyone experienced this, and what ended up being the cause?