u/sleepyhead1_1

Trigger warning: brief mention of sensitive mental health topics

About a week ago my foster mom had found out that I'd been self harming. I had blades and bloody tissues out that I'd forgot to put away because I had to rush to work. She said that if she found out that I did it again then she'd need me to go somewhere else, which I respect. I'm 18 and understand she doesn't have any obligation to keep me here but idek where I would go if she were to kick me out. I'm not sure if anyone could give me an answer here or if it would just be up to my case worker.

I've been hospitalized 3 times in the past for similar mental health reasons. Now that I'm 18, could they even make me go? I assumed not, but if I'm in extended foster care and got kicked out of my current foster home, would they send me to the hospital as a last resort till they figured out what to do w me? I do have extended family I could potentially stay with, at least for a day or two. But the issue with that is I start my last year of high school in a couple weeks and my family lives far away, which is the whole reason I ended up being put in a foster placement in the first place. I also have a job that I really don't want to end up losing if it does end up coming down to me needing to leave where I'm at currently.

Would they just send me to another placement? Or would they just leave me to figure it out on my own? How do placements even work after you turn 18 and enter extended foster care? Would they even bother helping me find somewhere else to go or is here my only option besides family? I'm gonna try to stay clean and avoid self harming anyway, but I want to have some kind of idea for what that situation would look like if it occurs. Because if I'm being honest I highly doubt I can stay 100% clean by the time I have enough money to move out (at least 6 months, hopefully before then) I at least want a plan for in case I do relapse. Mods please lmk if this post isn't allowed. I appreciate any answers you guys can give me.

Edit: for additional context, I'm in minnesota

Trigger warning: brief mention of sensitive mental health topics

About a week ago my foster mom had found out that I'd been self harming. I had blades and bloody tissues out that I'd forgot to put away because I had to rush to work. She said that if she found out that I did it again then she'd need me to go somewhere else, which I respect. I'm 18 and understand she doesn't have any obligation to keep me here but idek where I would go if she kicked me out. I'm not sure if anyone could give me an answer here or if it would just be up to my case worker.

I do have extended family I could potentially stay with, at least for a day or two. But the issue with that is I start my last year of high school in a couple weeks and my family lives far away, which is the whole reason I ended up being put in a foster placement in the first place. I also have a job that I really don't want to end up losing if it does end up coming down to me needing to leave where I'm at currently.

Would they just send me to another placement? Or would they just leave me to figure it out on my own? How do placements even work after you turn 18 and enter extended foster care? Would they even bother helping me find somewhere else to go or is here my only option besides family? I'm gonna try to stay clean and avoid self harming anyway, but I want to have some kind of idea for what that situation would look like if it occurs. Because if I'm being honest I highly doubt I can stay 100% clean by the time I have enough money to move out (at least 6 months, hopefully before then) I at least want a plan for in case I do relapse. Mods please lmk if this post isn't allowed. I appreciate any answers you guys can give me.

Edited to add: another thing I didn't think about is hospitalization. I've been hospitalized 3 times in the past for similar mental health reasons. Now that I'm 18, could they even make me go? I assumed not, but if I'm in extended foster care and got kicked out of my current foster home, would they send me to the hospital as a last resort till they figured out what to do w me? Idk. I don't want to find out any time soon, but what do you guys think? I'm in Minnesota btw

So I asked my foster mom to elaborate on what she meant about me buying my own groceries, apparently she just meant that I'd buy the "extra stuff" while she continues buying what she already gets. Which is pretty reasonable, I can understand having me buy snacks or whatever while she buys actual food. She gets worded it in a really confusing way when the topic was first brought up. But now she's saying that I have to buy my own toilet paper and laundry detergent? Her adopted niece lives here too, who is around my age (she's 18 and I turn 18 this week) and she apparently buys her own toilet paper and hygiene stuff. I guess my foster mom wants me to do the same.

But again, I thought she gets money from the county to buy the essentials? Or is it just for food? I do technically "have the money" to get those things but I really don't want to go over the budget I set for myself, I didn't want to spend any more money till I got paid. I just wanted to mostly focus on saving up. AND she brought up me getting a second job for the third or fourth time, but I have inconsistent hours at my current job so getting a second job wouldn't really make sense. Am I overthinking all this??

I'm 17 and I go into extended foster care next month, I just got my first part time job and I'm still getting used to it. She already suggested that I should get a second job or pick up more hours at my current one, when I hadn't even finished the job training at that point

After she found out I got paid she said "I'll take you to the store later so you can get some things you like" (as in I'd buy them) and when I tried saying no thats ok and that I'm trying to save up my money she said "no it's so then I don't have to get it no more". But I just feel like that's not really fair? I already try not to ask for much when she goes to the store, and like I said this is my very first job.

I originally wanted to try and focus on saving as much money as I can to move out so I'd be out of her hair. But until then she's getting paid to have me live in her house, I already mostly take care of myself. She has a good full time job on top of it as well, so it just feels wrong for her to immediately expect me to handle buying all of my groceries through a part time job. Am I overreacting?

I'm 17 and I go into extended foster care next month, I just got my first part time job and I'm still getting used to it. She already suggested that I should get a second job or pick up more hours at my current one, when I hadn't even finished the job training at that point

After she found out I got paid she said "I'll take you to the store later so you can get some things you like" (as in I'd buy them) and when I tried saying no thats ok and that I'm trying to save up my money she said "no it's so then I don't have to get it no more". But I just feel like that's not really fair? I already try not to ask for much when she goes to the store, and like I said this is my very first job.

I originally wanted to try and focus on saving as much money as I can to move out so I'd be out of her hair. But until then she's getting paid to have me live in her house, I already mostly take care of myself. She has a good full time job on top of it as well, so it just feels wrong for her to immediately expect me to handle buying all of my groceries through a part time job. Like what is that money going towards if its not going towards food? Because I don't ask for anything else. Am I overreacting?

I've been on T for 1 year and 3 months, but I feel like my voice has barely dropped at all. I've had all the other changes like body hair and fat distribution but I still sound like a girl half the time. I did voice training before starting T and have been thinking about doing it again. I'm just worried for whenever I eventually stop testosterone (I plan on going off of it after top surgery) that I'll just go back to how I was before. I've seen people say that they lose their body hair after stopping testosterone and that they're voice goes up again. Maybe I'm just taking too low of a dose for my voice to change more but either way my voice dysphoria is honestly just as bad as it was before I'd started T. Has anybody else experienced this too? Was there anything that helped?

Someone close to me put some sort of spell or curse on me (whether intentionally or unintentionally) and it's caused a lot of distance between me and a couple of my friends. They were obviously very bitter and envious of the friendships that I had and has both openly wished bad luck on me with my relationships and I heavily suspect that they did a spell or curse as well, as they've recently been really interested in witchcraft too. I really want to undo this spell so I don't lose some of the only people I have, does anyone have any advice on how I can restore the closeness I had with these people before and protect myself from getting any more of that energy from the person that did this spell?

Someone close to me put some sort of spell or curse on me (whether intentionally or unintentionally) and it's caused a lot of distance between me and a couple of my friends. They were obviously very bitter and envious of the friendships that I had and has both openly wished bad luck on me with my relationships and I heavily suspect that they did a spell or curse as well, as they've recently been really interested in witchcraft too. I really want to undo this spell so I don't lose some of the only people I have, does anyone have any advice on how I can restore the closeness I had with these people before and protect myself from getting any more of that energy from the person that did this spell?

The only one that I'd found online was in Wisconsin but I was hoping to find something closer if possible

The only one that I'd found online was in Wisconsin but I was hoping to find something closer if possible

TW for mention of eating disorders and suicidal thoughts

I'm 17 and have been on T for a little over a year. I've known I'm not cis since I was 13, and came out as trans when I was 14. I still consider myself trans but I feel like I lean more nonbinary than I do man or woman. My gender dysphoria is still pretty bad, specifically my chest and my voice (T gave me a voice drop but I'm still self conscious about how high pitched it is) but over the past year I've realized theres some effects of T make me dysphoric too. Specifically the fat distribution and facial changes I got from T, and just the way it changed the skin on my face. I feel so ugly now, and I dont even pass in public anymore

I stopped putting effort into passing because I don't really have any social dysphoria anymore. I'd say its 50/50 for if I'm percieved as a guy or girl, but I couldn't really care less what gender I'm perceived as. I just want to feel comfortable in my body but that feels so unachievable. I really need top surgery, I don't even want to try to live if I don't get it within the next couple years. But there's some days that I just want to stop testosterone all together. I don't want to be on testosterone for whole nother year. Its part of why I'm in such a rush to get top surgery so I can just get it iver with and move on with my life. At the same time, I would absolutely hate having my period again, and I'd be really sad if I lost my body hair and some of the muscle I've built. Even just the emotional stability that testosterone gave me is so helpful for my mental health. Before I was on testosterone I was extremely depressed and suicidal, and would have panic attacks almost daily and addicted to self harm. Idk if that was just a reflection of my mental state because of how bad my dysphoria was or if stopping testosterone would make it all come back.

Having an eating disorder has added a whole other layer on top of all this. I was really overweight before I started testosterone and have been heavily restricting on and off since I was 15. My hormone doctor doesn't know that I have an eating disorder, but has been concerned about the amount of weight I lost in the past year. He said if I lose any more weight before he sees me again in August, he'll refer me to eating disorder treatment and get evaluated (idek why he did this, I'm still on the heavier side of average and I'm physically healthy). All that being said I don't think my eating disorder is fully to blame for my gender dysphoria. It's something I've felt for a long time and I've learned tell the difference between if its my size I'm uncomfortable with or if its my actual sex characteristics.

I just don't know what to do. No matter what dominant hormone is in my body I'll always be uncomfortable or dysphoric in some way. I don't want to even try to wait things out or watch things get worse. I don't want to see or live in my body if there's nothing I can do to fix it fully. It doesn't feel like mine anyway. Even if I could just have my tits off already I'd feel so much better with myself. This was kind of just a vent post but I really would appreciate some kind of advice. Or at least hear somebody who could relate to a degree. No one irl would really understand where I'm coming from, whether they're trans or cis. It feels like i have to just choose between being alone or being judged, but I figured it couldn't hurt to make a post on here and see what you guys had to say. Thank you for reading if you got to the end

Please help me out i love this song and I want more of it, I tried listening to other circa survive songs but I'm not a huge fan. I just wanna hear something similar to this specific song

Edit: I already know about saosin

Please help me out i love this song and I want more of it, I tried listening to other circa survive songs but I'm not a huge fan. I just wanna hear something similar to this specific song

Edit: I already know about saosin